After a time he slowly lifted his head, pulling away from her.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said, his head bowed, eyes staring at the sand.
‘No, don’t be sorry,’ said Nicola earnestly, emotion catching her voice. ‘Just tell me if I can do anything, if I can help.’
‘There is one thing,’ he said. He looked up at her. ‘Look, do you mind if I hang out with you today?’ He had said it then. ‘I mean if you don’t have anything else planned or are with someone or something. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be a sudden burden. I just,’ he paused. ‘I would really value your company.’
Nicola didn’t know what to say. She felt this young man was casting a spell over her and she felt wary and excited at the same time. She felt the part of her that wanted to let go of her inhibitions, forget her worries and embrace these moments of life. She also felt the other part, the cautious, rational, fearful part of her that had ruled her life for so long. It was her turn to look away to the horizon.
‘I’m kind of on my own too,’ she said. ‘I was with my boyfriend until two nights ago.’ She paused.
‘What happened?’ asked Paul, his voice tense.
‘We had an argument. I realised I did not love him. He left to go home and I have not spoken to him since.’ It felt suddenly real and final now that she had said it. ‘I don’t love him so why stay with him? It’s just a lie then.’ She shivered and hugged her knees to keep warm. ‘That’s the worst part,’ she said. ‘The part that scares me and makes me hate myself. I just decided I didn’t love him and that was that. I was so cold, so selfish. It makes me realise that I am not a nice person.’
She fell silent. He shifted his position on the sand. After a while he spoke.
‘I know this might be wrong to say but I’m glad,’ he said.
‘Glad?!’ exclaimed Nicola.
‘No, listen, glad you did the right thing,’ he said quickly. ‘There’s no point being with someone you do not love.’
‘But I was so mean to him and now it is as if I never felt anything for him. How can I be so cruel, so unfeeling?’ said Nicola.
‘You think that now because it’s only just happened,’ he said. ‘But if you didn’t feel anything you wouldn’t be sitting here now talking about how bad you feel.’
She looked at him.
‘I guess you’re right,’ she said gratefully.
‘It’s only just happened,’ he said. ‘You’ll feel differently with time. Just let it pass. Besides, you should think about what you want, not about what you think someone else wanted.’
Nicola sighed. He was right. Again she felt as if he was a lot older than he seemed.
‘Do you mind if I ask how old you are?’ she asked.
‘I’m nineteen,’ he said.
‘You are very mature for your age,’ she said. ‘And you give good advice.’
He smiled. ‘I spent a lot of time with my aunt. She taught me a lot. How old are you?’ he asked.
‘What do you think?’ she said.
He looked at her intently for a moment. She felt naked under his gaze and crossed her arms self consciously.
‘Twenty three,’ he said.
She raised her eyebrows. ‘You’re very good.’
‘I guess I’m right,’ he grinned. ‘Look, do you want to get some lunch? It’s a short walk along the cliffs to the village and there’s a cafe there. The sun will be out soon so we can sit by the harbour, and it will be warmer for you,’ he said, awkwardly stroking the goose bumps on her forearm.
‘Now that sounds like a good idea,’ said Nicola electrified by his touch. ‘Lead the way.’
He stood up and put out his hand. She took it and pulled herself up from the sand thanking him as she did so.
They set off, side by side, across the sands towards the path over the headland. The cloud was moving quickly eastwards and soon the sun was clear from its grey embrace and the land came alive once more.
The children did not stop running until they reached the gap in the hedge by the cottage. Squeezing through they spilled out onto the lawn. Neil threw himself down onto the wet grass panting heavily.
‘I’ve never been that scared before.’
He looked up at his sister.
‘We’re lucky you found the way out.’
Vicky was still standing with her head turned back the way they had come. She could just see, through the tangle of undergrowth, the fox’s back as it loped away across the field.
‘Yes, very lucky,’ she murmured.
‘That was very dodgy,’ Neil continued. ‘I thought our time was up. What was his problem?’
Vicky remained silent as her brain tried to rationalise what had just happened. However she looked at it she could not escape the conclusion that something magic was going on. Magic that had everything to do with the key. A tremble ran through her body. The key was sitting cold against her skin. Suddenly she was not sure she liked it.
‘He must have been up to no good,’ continued Neil. ‘I wonder what he was looking for. And that wood, it was definitely bigger on the inside, how does that happen? And then we were lost but you found a way out.’ He suddenly looked at his sister with new admiration.
‘You must have magic powers,’ he said grinning.
‘Just lucky,’ said Vicky through gritted teeth.
‘Hmm, no there’s more to it than that. It’s pretty exciting don’t you think?’
‘No, it’s actually pretty scary and I just want to forget about it now. Look, can we go and do something different that doesn’t involve magic or voices or being chased?’
‘Sure,’ said Neil disappointed.
Above them the clouds were beginning to break. On the horizon the first rays of sunlight were beginning to light the land like torch beams being shone through the clouds. It was also getting warmer.
‘Ice cream,’ suggested Neil. Vicky smiled gingerly and nodded. They went and retrieved their bicycles from around the corner of the cottage and pedalled out onto the lane. They cycled up to the road and turned left following it until they came to a narrow track on the left. While the main road continued on, making a wide circle around the headland before going into the village from the other side, the lane took a more direct route spiralling steeply through a wooded hillside to come out along the harbour. The sun was out completely now, having burned away the morning dampness and they sped down the lane rushing through alternating patches of bright light and deep shadow as they skirted the wood’s edge. Soon they were on the inner harbour wall pedalling fast past fishing boats and tourists emerging from coffee shops and gift shops into the warm sunshine.
They reached the end of the harbour front where a small shop sold ice creams from a large freezer container. Taking their time to choose one they paid inside and then went out, pushing their bikes with one hand towards the harbour wall where they sat down, backs leaning against the cool stone. They sat in silence for a while enjoying the warmth of the sun on their faces, the salty smell of the sea mixed with fish, the cries of seagulls overhead.
‘Are you happy we came here?’ asked Neil watching her from the corner of his eye. As he spoke it was as if a shadow fell across her face.
‘I don’t know whether I’ve forgiven mum and dad yet,’ she said. ‘It’s nice now because it’s basically one big holiday but I miss my friends already and now we have to start all over again,’ her voice trailed off and she looked away into the distance.
Neil grimaced, looking away too. He was trying not to think about it himself and didn’t really know what else to say. As he lazily scanned the waterfront his eyes rested for a moment on a face on the edge of a crowd of day trippers. As he focused their eyes met and a flash of recognition passed between them before the face hastily turned away. Neil sat bolt upright. Vicky turned to him in surprise.
‘What is it?’ she asked. Neil jumped up watching as the boy turned down a side road and disappeared from view.
‘I just saw the kid from the wood over the other side o
f the harbour.’ Tossing the remains of his ice cream in a nearby bin Neil picked up his bike and jumped on.
‘I’m gonna catch him and find out what’s going on.’
With that he was off pedalling quickly along the harbour wall. Vicky jumped up shoving the last of her cornetto in her mouth before grabbing her bike and following.
‘Hey, wait,’ she called after him through a mouthful of cone.
Neil sped along, flashing past the group of people the boy had been standing next to. He turned sharply down the side street where the boy had gone and then skidded to a stop. The street was empty. Looking back along the harbour Neil could see no sign of him. Looking back up the street all he could see were lines of terraced houses that ended in a hundred metres or so as the road climbed steeply upwards before disappearing around a corner. Pushing off Neil raced on, pedalling furiously as the road climbed up and curved above the town. Terraces were replaced by cottages spread out between hedgerows and fields. Soon he was way above the town with just fields and the sea for company. Slowing to a stop Neil looked around, forcing himself to admit that he didn’t have a chance of finding the boy. Feeling a bit foolish he turned round to go back down to the town when he saw his sister coming towards him puffing hard after the effort of the steep climb.
‘What kept you?’ he asked grinning.
‘Perhaps it was you zooming off without warning,’ she panted. ‘So, did you find him?’
‘Nope,’ said Neil feeling a little frustrated. ‘He could have gone anywhere.’
‘Sure it was him?’ Vicky asked.
‘Yes, I’m sure,’ said Neil offended.
‘I don’t like it if we’re being followed,’ said Vicky, a cold shiver running down her spine.
‘There’s definitely something fishy going on,’ said Neil.
‘So, what now?’ Vicky asked.
‘Guess we go back to the cottage,’ said Neil releasing his brakes and beginning to move off down the hill. ‘Last one back does the washing up,’ he called over his shoulder to his sister whose bike was still pointing up the hill.
‘That’s not fair,’ she cried indignantly yanking her bike round and pushing off to follow his fast retreating figure as quickly as she could. Neither noticed the boy who had been hiding behind a nearby hedgerow. He stood up, watching them intently until they disappeared from view.
Chapter Ten
‘It’s so beautiful up here,’ said Nicola as they walked along the cliff tops.
‘I agree,’ said Paul. ‘Sometimes I feel I am waiting all year just to be back here. There is a real atmosphere, a real presence.’
They both fell silent for a while as they enjoyed the warmth of the sun and the light that defined the land and the sea.
‘What do you do?’ he asked.
‘I work for a bank in London but I hate it.’
‘That doesn’t sound good,’ said Paul. ‘Why do you hate it?’
‘Because of this,’ she said raising her arm to take in the sweep of the bay. ‘I can’t stand being stuck in a cage in a dirty smelly city when this exists and I know that some people make their living by being in and around it.’
‘What’s stopping you then?’ he asked.
She fell silent. All the thoughts, reasons and inhibitions for her inaction flooded through her mind and she did not want to admit what she saw as her failure. She felt a sudden up welling of despair and from nowhere tears filled her eyes. She looked away blinking furiously to hide them. He glanced at her, transfixed by her wild beauty. Seeing her sad made his heart heavy.
‘I didn’t mean to upset you,’ he said.
She half-laughed, her voice shaky as she said, ‘I thought you wouldn’t notice.’
He smiled, ‘Sorry.’
‘It’s not your fault,’ she said. ‘I seem to be about to spend my life not doing what I really want to do.’
‘If you don’t want to talk about it that’s no problem but maybe I can help, add a different perspective.’
Again she looked at him, amazed by the maturity he showed on such young shoulders.
He looked back at her hoping for a sign that she liked him, that she felt the same for him as he did for her.
‘It’s difficult to express,’ she said. ‘Like I know what I should be doing but I still can’t do it. In my head I know who I am, but in my actions I am someone else. I’m waiting for someone else to come along and hand everything I want to me on a plate, all the time not realising that the only person who will do that is me.’
‘It’s the same question then,’ said Paul. ‘What’s stopping you?’
Nicola was silent for a moment. The breeze carried a bee past her, its drone heavy in the air.
‘I broke up with my boyfriend because I realised it was time to act,’ she said looking at him. He saw briefly the defiance flash in her eyes, the desire to fight, and it thrilled him. ‘When I knew what I was going to do I felt so free, so determined to change my life.’ She sighed, looking away. ‘I just hope I can maintain it when I get back to reality.’
‘You feel it is easy to have these thoughts now but you’re scared you will just go back to the trap, in fact willingly submit to it, despite knowing it is the opposite of what you want, what you are.’
She studied him again amazed at his perception.
‘How do I stop it?’ she asked.
‘You’ve already begun,’ he said. ‘It’s normal to feel fear now but you have taken the first step. Never forget that.’ He looked out to sea, the vast horizon freeing his own thoughts, his own mind. ‘We all travel one step at a time.’
The children walked side by side pushing their bikes up the steep lane that led up out of the town and back home to the cottage.
‘Well, that was an eventful morning,’ exclaimed Neil.
Vicky turned to check behind them for what seemed the hundredth time since they had left town.
‘He’s not following us,’ said Neil in exasperation.
‘How can you be sure?’ said his sister. ‘I don’t like it. What if he follows us home?’
‘We can’t stay out forever,’ said Neil. ‘Anyway, if he wants to spy on us at home bring it on I say. Gives us a chance to catch him.’
‘There’s something creepy about them,’ said Vicky.
‘I agree. What do you think they were looking for?’ asked Neil.
‘I don’t know,’ said Vicky quietly as she recalled the voices she had heard. It was only now that she remembered the name they had given to the key. They had called it the Key of Arachar. They had wanted her to give it to them. She shivered suddenly despite the warmth of the sun. ‘But I think we have to find out.’
‘This is just what I needed,’ said Nicola between sips of her milkshake. ‘I’ve just spent the last days thinking myself into a downward spiral.’ She reached across and touched his hand. ‘Thanks,’ she said.
‘Hey, I’m glad you’re feeling happier,’ said Paul feeling relieved for he was sure he must be a burden to her.
They were sitting in a small cafe on the harbour drinking milkshakes, eating sandwiches and watching the world go by. Out in the bay a steady stream of windsurfers were being towed out to take their first lessons and Nicola was fascinated by their antics which involved very little windsurfing and a lot of falling in the water.
‘So tell me about yourself,’ asked Nicola. ‘What do you do?’
‘I’ve just finished at college. Should get my exam results in a few weeks but I don’t know what I want to do. My dad wants me to go to university. My sister could have gone but she didn’t. To be honest I don’t fancy it. I’ve no idea what to do, so why just pick a subject at random and write off three years?’
‘I went to university,’ said Nicola.
‘Was it worth it?’ he asked quickly.
‘On the face of it, not at all,’ she said. ‘I studied environmental politics and all I am doing now is working in a bank so that’s just crap. Anyway, you’re very good at steering the conversation away fro
m you,’ she grinned. ‘I want to know more.’
He was quiet for a moment, his gaze dropping to the table.
‘What’s there to know?’
She studied Paul, suddenly scared for him. It was as if a black cloud had suddenly appeared and washed away his spirit. Eventually he spoke.
‘I have this dream.’
Her heart leapt into her stomach. For a while she had forgotten about the dream, had wanted to ignore the impossible. She could not look away as he carried on speaking.
‘In my dream there is a rider on horseback, dressed in dark amour and with a sword and shield, like something out of a fantasy film. I follow them yet they never let me get close. Last night I had the dream again but this time it was different. I was the rider.’
He moved his hand forward, his fingers touching the soft, smooth skin of her arm and then following the contour of the muscle, their minds remembering.
‘There was some kind of hut. I went inside and there was a girl, a young woman. I kissed her and she woke up. Then we had to flee, to run away from something bad. This is the crazy thing.’ He paused, his eyes rising to meet hers. ‘She looked like you.’
To hear it made Nicola recoil in shock. She stood up and his hand fell from her arm. His gaze dropped to the table and in that moment it felt as though she was leaving him forever, that it was their last touch before dying. Her mind began to race. They had each dreamed of the other and now they were together in reality. If it were true, if it were real, what did it mean? Where did it end? She felt so scared yet at the same time a rush of adrenaline was coursing through her body and for once she would not turn her back on it. She had to live.
‘Paul,’ she said quietly. He did not respond.
‘Look at me.’
He looked up, his eyes full of fear and loss, and her heart was torn.
‘What’s the matter?’ she asked. ‘Please tell me.’
The Dark Rider (Fading Light) Page 9