by Ashlyn Chase
“That’s true.” He leaned over and blew in her ear.
“Cut that out.” She couldn’t help the grin that contradicted her words. “What’s impractical that you were thinking of?”
He shifted and cleared his throat. If she wasn’t mistaken, she’d think he was embarrassed.
“Come on, you. Out with it.”
“I was thinking…how about dance instructors? You see those shows with celebrities learning to dance in a matter of weeks. Think how good we might get in six months, and it looks like all kinds of fun.”
Roz squealed and clapped her hands. “Fantastic idea. I’ve always wanted to dance like that.”
“Okay, then.” He smiled, showing lots of teeth. “Let’s start the list with that.”
“This is a great idea. I think all kids should do this before high school. Maybe more would discover their bliss.”
“Yeah, we could call it the Bliss List.”
Roz laughed. “One can always hope it leads to finding our bliss…outside the bedroom, that is.”
He playfully nipped her ear and growled.
“Don’t start, buddy. We need to concentrate on this.”
“Okay.” He sighed. “How about you? Is there anything else you’ve been dying to try but never pursued?”
“Like skydiving?”
“Skydiving! You mean you’d jump out of a perfectly good airplane that wasn’t going down in flames?”
She chuckled. “I take it you’re not into that idea.”
“Talk about dying to try something.”
“I’m sure it’s not that dangerous, or we’d hear more about it on the news.” She lifted one eyebrow. “You’re not scared, are you?”
“Of course not. I was just teasing. Actually it never occurred to me, but I’ll try it. I hear some people get really addicted to it.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard that too. Some even compare it to bliss.”
“But how would that translate into a job?”
“Maybe we could join some of those fancy dive teams, or we could get certified as instructors after a few hours.”
“How few?”
“I don’t know, but I’ll look into it later. Let’s not stop brainstorming while the ideas are flowing.”
Konrad paced with his hands in his pockets. “Okay. Let’s think of a few more ideas.” Suddenly he halted. “I know, cooking school! We could take a couple of cooking classes, and if preparing food is something we feel passionate about, we could go to culinary school and open a restaurant.”
“Yeah, the cooking part sounds like fun. I might like to become head chef, but I’ll let someone else own and run the place. That sounds like more headaches than bliss.”
“Good idea. Let’s see if the cooking really turns us on, first. Then if we really like the idea of owning our own place and think the headaches would be worth it, we can follow up after that.”
“There’s the practical side. I knew you had one.”
Konrad raised an eyebrow. “Hey, you were the one who said to dream big. ‘Go big or go home,’ I believe you said. So should I go home?”
“No. Don’t you dare! Here, I’m putting it all on the list.” Roz wrote “cooking classes, culinary school, chefs, maybe own restaurant.”
Konrad gazed over her shoulder. “Good. All in the right order, too. See how easily a plan springs from a goal?”
“Yup. I see quite well. Now, what else? Do you have any musical talent?”
“Music appreciation is about all I can offer. I don’t think that’s an occupation.”
“Okay, it would probably take too long to learn to play anything but the kazoo, and I’m not willing to practice for years and hope the symphony has an opening someday. What else ya got?”
“I like photography, and I’ve even fantasized about being a filmmaker from time to time.”
Roz narrowed her eyes. “What kind of filmmaker?”
“The legitimate kind. Besides, the only porno I want to make is with you, babe.”
She chuckled. “Ugh, no. I’m on board with anything else you want to film. Should I write photography or filmmaker or both?”
“Why not put them both down. We can try one and then the other. If one type doesn’t speak to us, the other one might.”
“True. Hey, maybe we could try acting or directing.”
“Acting is out,” Konrad said.
“Why?”
“Look, you’d make a beautiful leading lady, but if you think I’m going to let some other dude play a love scene with you—”
There’s that jealous streak again. I can’t decide if I love it or hate it. Come to think of it— “I never thought about that. Yeah, I wouldn’t like to see you smooching the collagen off some Hollywood starlet, either.”
“Good. Maybe we’re getting a little unpractical. Let’s think of something less lofty.”
Roz tapped the paper. “How about bartending? I’ve heard bartending school is only a two-week course.”
“Really? That could work. Tips on a busy weekend night can be tremendous, and if we’re working together, who needs to worry about going out to a club or bar on a Saturday night? We’re already there.”
“And eventually we could own a place where everybody knows our names.”
Konrad laughed. “Sounds like our apartment building.”
“Yeah, that might be nice, except there are still some residents I haven’t met.”
“That’s right. I’ve been completely selfish and monopolized all your free time. I should take you around and introduce you.”
“Would you? That would be great. I haven’t even met my neighbor across the hall yet.”
He groaned.
“What?”
“Oh, nothing. Nathan can be a good guy, but he’s an acquired taste.”
“Well, then, I should start getting used to him, right?”
He nodded, albeit reluctantly. “Okay. Let’s do this.”
***
Roz put her hand on Konrad’s arm and stopped him before he knocked on Nathan’s door. “Why did Dottie call him ‘Nasty Nathan?’”
“I have no idea. Probably something she imagined.”
“Dottie sounds like a piece of work. I wonder what she’s going to tell people about me.”
“She’ll probably like you, as long as I don’t make you howl too loud. You live right beneath her, and I live across the hall. She had a problem with the girls on the third floor making sex noises. We’ll have to try it in the laundry room.” He winked.
“Maybe she isn’t getting any.”
“That’s entirely possible. She’s way too uptight. Now, are you ready to meet Nathan?”
Roz took a deep breath. “Sure.”
Konrad rapped on the door. They waited a minute and heard several locks clicking on the other side of the door.
Wow, Nathan seems serious about safety.
“He’s a little eccentric. Weird sense of humor, but don’t let him get to you. He does it for shock value.”
The door opened partially, with one last chain remaining between them and the man inside.
“Can I help you?”
Konrad stepped into Nathan’s line of sight. “Hi, Nathan. Open up. I want to introduce you to our new neighbor.”
“Oh. Just a second.”
The door closed, and after some metal rasping against metal, Nathan opened it wide and stepped into the hallway. He wore a black, open-collared shirt and black jeans. Other than jet-black hair and alert black eyes, there was little to distinguish him.
“This is Roz Wells. She moved into Merry’s place across the hall.”
One side of his mouth turned up. “Roz Wells, huh?”
Roz extended her hand. “Yeah, I’m sure my parents weren’t cruel enough to do that to me intentionally.”
He took her hand and shook it. “Maybe they did. Easy to remember. Do you believe in aliens?”
That’s an odd opening question. Must be part of his eccentric charm. “My experience i
s too limited for me to voice an opinion.”
“Too bad,” Nathan said.
Too bad? She glanced at Konrad, and he lifted his shoulders.
“What do you do?” she asked.
“I work in a morgue.” He smiled and waited. Probably looking for a reaction, as Konrad had said.
She wouldn’t give it to him. “Oh, that must be interesting work.”
“Not really. Dead is dead is dead. Not much changes.”
“I suppose you’re right.”
“So what do you do?”
“I’m a lawyer.”
Konrad was quick to add, “But she doesn’t care for it and wants to find another line of work.”
Nathan cocked his head. “There’s an opening at the morgue. I don’t suppose you see dead people.”
“Uh, no. I’ve watched Morgaine channel a spirit, but that’s about it.”
“That’s good. You’d be perfect to work at a morgue then. You might even pick up some business for your other line of work.”
“Excuse me? What do you mean?”
“Ambulance chasing. Oh, but by that time it’s too late, isn’t it?”
A frown formed before she could stop it, and Nathan laughed.
Damn. He got me, didn’t he?
“Seems like.”
“Well, it’s awfully nice of you to tell me about the job opening, but I think I’ll stick to what I’m doing for now.”
Nathan smirked. “Suit yourself.”
Roz rested her hand against Konrad’s bicep. “We should get going. I don’t want to be late for my…thing.” She gestured in circles.
“Oh yeah, the…thing. I almost forgot.” Konrad put an arm around Roz. “Well, I just wanted to introduce you two. I guess my job is done.”
“I guess so,” Nathan said.
“Nice to meet you, Nathan. I’m sure I’ll see you around.”
“Maybe,” he said and retreated to his apartment. Several clicks indicated he was relocking his door—a lot.
“You were right. He’s an odd bird.”
Konrad snorted. “You have no idea. Okay, so you’ve met Nathan from your floor, Dottie and me from the second floor, and Morgaine and Chad. Are you up to meeting the rest of the third floor?”
“Um, I’m not sure. Should I?”
“Why not? Are you nervous?”
“Nervous doesn’t exactly cover it. Maybe it’s best to take the introductions in small doses.”
“Are we ‘weirding’ you out?”
“It might help to meet someone who’s a little more normal…and wears a color other than black. Is there such a person in this building?”
Konrad slapped a big hand over his mouth and looked like he was trying not to burst out laughing.
“What?”
He shook his head. “Oh, sweetheart. If you’re looking for normal, you came to the wrong place. The only person like that would be Joe, the private detective, and he, knowingly, has a ghost as a roommate.”
“Oh. Ohhhkaaay. It looks like my train stopped at Freak Central Station.”
“Maybe we should go back to that list and sign up for some classes,” Konrad suggested.
“Probably a good idea. Who needs to know all their neighbors anyway?”
He chuckled, making her more nervous than she already was.
***
“I’m so glad we called when we did. One day later, and we’d have missed the deadline to register for these classes,” Roz said.
“Yeah, I’m looking forward to gliding around the dance floor with you.” Konrad placed a hand on Roz’s waist and she placed her hand on his shoulder the way the dance instructors had demonstrated.
“Yeah, and I’m not the most patient man in the world. How long would we have had to wait for the next session? Six weeks?”
They laced the fingers of their free hands together and held them high.
“At least. This is a six-week course, and I don’t know if they take a break in between.”
Konrad advanced with his right foot a little early, and Roz hesitated. He felt the lump of her toes under his foot just as he was putting his full weight on it.
“Ouch!” Roz cried and hopped away holding her left foot. Her black stiletto teetered on the floor and fell over.
Konrad took a step back. “Oh, God, I’m sorry. Are you all right?”
She drew in a few deep breaths and rubbed her toes. “Yeah…I’m fine.”
The female instructor stopped the music and said, “I see we have Cinderella in our class. Where is your other shoe, Cinderella?”
Konrad retrieved her spike-heeled shoe and handed it to her. “It was under my other left foot, I’m afraid.”
“Ha! At least the prince admits he has two left feet.” The male instructor spoke with a Slavic accent. His female counterpart turned the music back on. “Everyone else, continue to practice. I’ll work with these two.”
How humiliating.
“It wasn’t your fault, lover. I think I was supposed to get my foot out of your way before you crushed it.”
“Roz, tell me the truth. Are you hurt? Because we should stop right now if you are.”
“No, no. I’m fine. Really. We can’t give up that easily.”
“I guess you’re right. I’m sure all dancers have had their share of injuries.”
The male instructor joined them. “It’s true. No one learns to dance well without a few spills and missteps along the way. Now take your positions.”
Konrad rested his right hand on Roz’s waist and took her hand in his left. I can think of positions I’d rather be in.
“We don’t have to do this, you know. I mean, if you’re not enjoying yourself—”
No, I didn’t mean it like that. He chuckled. You were just reading my dirty mind.
The instructor frowned at Konrad. “Is something funny?”
“No, not at all.”
“Pay attention, lover. We’ll get to those other positions later.”
He grinned.
The instructor said, “I’ll count one, two, three, go. At that moment, I want you both to move your feet. Sir, your right foot goes forward, and miss, your left foot goes back. Now as soon as you’ve done that one move, stop. Understood?”
The couple nodded and said, “Understood.”
“Okay. One, two, three, go.”
They both took the one step they were supposed to take safely.
“Good. Now back to your original position, and do it again.”
Now I feel like an idiot.
“Don’t. It’s no big deal. We can do this.”
The instructor repeated his “one, two, three, go” speech twice more, and when they hadn’t injured one another, he said, “Good. Now one of you count to three and go, but this time follow with the rest of the steps to the count of three and make the box as we showed you.”
Konrad said, “I’ll count. Hopefully it’ll help my concentration. Are you ready?”
Roz nodded.
“Okay, one, two, three, go.” The two of them slid into the first and second steps perfectly, but when it came to Konrad’s taking a step back and Roz’s stepping forward, his stride was far longer than hers, and he pulled her off balance.
She stumbled, but he caught her before she fell. “Oomph. Damn heels.”
The instructor shook his head, slowly.
“Sorry. It wasn’t you or your shoes, Roz. I know what I did wrong,” Konrad said.
The instructor crossed his arms. “And what was that?”
“I extended my back leg too far.”
The instructor cocked his head and frowned. “You have front legs and back legs? No wonder you have two left feet.”
Konrad laughed nervously.
“Your partner has much shorter legs than you do. You must always compensate for that,” the instructor was saying.
“Okay. Let’s try again. I’ll take smaller steps.”
Roz and Konrad resumed their starting positions, and the instructor said, “I
’ll count.”
After the initial “one, two, three, go,” he continued to count the beat of the waltz while the couple made the short steps in the shape of a box.
Are we having fun yet?
Roz laughed, but the break in concentration caused her to miss a step, and Konrad trampled her toes again.
“Oww!” She hopped over to the chairs lining the length of the dance hall, sat on one, removed her shoe, and massaged her toes.
Konrad followed her. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’ll live.”
“This isn’t working out, is it?”
“Let’s not give up yet. Someday we’ll laugh about this.”
The instructor glanced away and mumbled something under his breath.
“I think our teacher is ready to quit.”
Roz chuckled. “Well, I’m not.” She slipped into her shoe again and stood, taking Konrad’s hand. “Come on, let’s do this.”
They counted and danced, successfully this time, for several turns. The instructor smiled and clapped. That was enough to interrupt their concentration, and the couple went down with a thud, landing in a tangled heap of arms and legs.
Roz gasped and yelled, “Frig!”
“Oh, crap.” Konrad rolled off of her quickly. “I hurt you that time, didn’t I?”
She breathed deeply through gritted teeth.
Both instructors rushed over. “What happened?”
Roz managed to compose herself enough to say, “I twisted my ankle.”
The male instructor extended his hand to help her up. She tried to stand and winced.
Konrad jumped to his feet and picked her up off the floor. “I’m taking you to the emergency room.”
“No, I’m sure it’s not that bad. Just give me a couple of minutes to rest.”
“Your ankle is already swelling.”
“No, they’re just fat.”
Konrad gave her the hairy eyeball and said, “No, they’re not. And since one is getting bigger and redder than the other, I’d guess you have a sprain. Now don’t argue. I’m taking you to the hospital.”
He strode toward the door.
“We should call an ambulance,” the female instructor said.
“No need. We’re close to the New England Hospital. I can carry her there, if you’ll get the door.”
“Wait, my purse.”