Again.
* * *
“THIS COULD BECOME a habit,” Gabe murmured, placing a kiss on the soft skin of her neck.
“Mmm,” Lindy said, tilting her neck to give him better access. “What time is it? I should go.”
Instead of answering, he said, “What do you think of San Francisco?”
“I like it,” Lindy said, yawning. “Great sourdough bread if I remember correctly. It’s been a while.”
“What if I suggested that you relocate?” he said, almost holding his breath. She twisted in his arms to stare at him with a quizzical frown.
“Come again?” she asked.
“I’m saying...let’s make this official. You know this isn’t ending like this. I know for a fact that I can’t go home and just forget about you and I think you feel the same about me. Am I wrong?”
“No,” she answered reluctantly. “But I told you...”
“That you’re a bad girlfriend. Perhaps. But you’ve never been a wife.... Maybe you’re a phenomenal wife.”
She stared, and he realized he might’ve just scared her off. True, he’d made a leap, but the minute he’d said it, he knew it was the right thing to say because it was how he felt.
“Are you asking me to...marry you?” she asked incredulously. “Seriously? We’ve known each other, like, a month. That’s crazy talk and way too early in the morning for a practical joke.”
“I’m not joking and I’m not crazy. I love you, Lindy. I’ve known it for a while but kept it to myself. I knew with Charlotte and I know with you.”
“Gabe...I can’t marry you,” Lindy protested, pulling the sheet up to cover her bare breasts. “What about my career?”
“Last I checked, there are actors in San Francisco. Robin Williams comes to mind.”
“He’s an A-lister who’s already made his name. He can live on the moon if he wants. The action is in L.A. I have to be there.”
“What kind of career are we talking, Lindy? Correct me if I’m wrong but to date your career has consisted of bit parts and ‘B’ movies. What’s next? Porn?”
She blinked, stung. “Low blow, Weston.”
“I call it as I see it.”
“No, you’re being a petulant child who’s lashing out because I don’t want to run off and be your corporate wife. I told you in the beginning, I wasn’t cut out for that crap. Hell, I told you I wasn’t cut out for being a girlfriend, much less a wife and now you’re cutting me down for being honest?”
“No, I just think you need to start being realistic about your expectations. You’re a beautiful woman. How many parts have you been offered that didn’t rely on your looks? How many parts did you get based solely on your acting ability? Sometimes the truth hurts but the reality is, beauty fades. And then what are you going to do?”
“I’m a good actress,” she said in a tight voice. “Someday I’m going to get the role of a lifetime that will prove it.”
“Yeah, you and ten thousand other beautiful wannabes. You can continue chasing after a dream that’s ended in heartache for so many before you or you can start fresh someplace new and maybe start doing some quality theater where you actually might be discovered by someone interested in more than your ass!”
Lindy stared in open shock at his blunt statement, but a storm quickly gathered behind her eyes and he knew it wasn’t going to be a gentle wind. “How dare you judge me,” she said, throwing the sheet from her body and bounding from the bed. She jerked on her discarded clothes and tied her sarong around her hips with enough force to strain the fabric. “I’ve tried to be open and honest with you. I can’t help that you don’t like what I’m saying. I don’t want to be your wife, or anyone’s wife for that matter. I want fame and fast cars and bad boys, not stuffy dinner parties where people stand around and quietly judge one another and simper behind false smiles while doing meaningless things to fill my day.”
“Really? Because that doesn’t sound much different from your Hollywood lifestyle where everyone is sleeping with everyone else but pretending otherwise. It’s all the same, Lindy. If you’re drawn to that lifestyle, you’ll find it wherever you go.”
“Well, I guess I’m drawn to it then because not only am I a terrible actress but a raging slut, as well.” She seethed with anger so hot he thought the floor might melt where she was standing.
“I didn’t say that,” he said, trying to correct her wild leap from one point to the next. “I’m just saying—”
“I don’t give a shit what you’re saying,” she interrupted in a harsh whisper. “You don’t know a thing about my career or my life, so I’d stick to what you do know, and leave me out of it. It’s been fun, buddy. Thanks for taking care of the part where I miss you when you go because I sure as hell won’t! Screw you, Gabe!”
“Lindy!”
But she was gone.
“Damn it,” he cursed, punching the mattress before rolling to his back to stare at the ceiling.
He’d royally screwed the pooch.
So much for hoping she’d be swept off her feet by his declaration.
Ah, hell.
He should’ve kept his mouth shut.
* * *
LINDY WANTED TO wreak havoc on everything around her. How dare Gabe throw a marriage proposal on the table as if that were the answer. As if she’d drop everything that was important in her life to traipse off with him to play house and corporate Stepford wife. Hell no. She missed L.A. She missed her friends. She missed parties and clubs and spoiled celebrities who bought into their own press and made ridiculous demands on the set to be fulfilled by some hapless production assistant.
She stomped to her room and closed the door, still fuming. If it were possible, steam would be curling out of her ears.
Theater in San Francisco? It was cold in the Bay Area. And it was always foggy.
She thought of her dinky apartment in Sherman Oaks and sat on the edge of her bed with her fingernail tapping the bed with an agitated staccato beat. “Who the hell does he think he is asking me to marry him? Was he nuts? Who does that?”
How did you go from friends to “hey, marry me!” in the space of two weeks?
But even as she raged, a very small part of her was ridiculously thrilled by the sappy gesture.
Unlike the cavalier offers that’d been cast her way over the years, this one felt wholly genuine even if it was just as implausible.
If she didn’t know how to be a good girlfriend—which was simply a training ground for marriage—how could he possibly make the assumption that she’d be a good wife? She was a terrible housekeeper, couldn’t
really cook to save her life and had the attention span of a goldfish, which was why acting suited her.
Lindy dropped into her large cushioned wicker chair and stared at nothing, too irritated and angry to do much more than fume and sulk.
Damn you, Gabe Weston, for getting under my skin.
And into her heart.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
LINDY DIDN’T HANG around Larimar when Carys and Gabe checked out; it was surprisingly painful just knowing they were leaving.
But because she didn’t want Carys to think she’d abandoned her, she left her a gift with a heartfelt note. For Gabe she left nothing.
It wasn’t that she hadn’t wanted to leave him a short note, too, but each time she tried to write it, tears had blurred her vision and she gave up.
Lora found her staring morosely out at the sea shortly after the Westons had checked out.
“You didn’t say goodbye,” she noted, coming to sit beside her on the terrace.
Lindy shrugged. “Should I?”
“C’mon, are we going to play that game? I knew you were more than friends. I wasn’t stupid or blind.”
Lindy cut Lora a sho
rt look and said, “Well, I should’ve
listened to your advice and kept my distance. It didn’t end well.”
“Oh? What happened?”
Lindy’s sigh was punctuated with a scowl. “The damn man asked me to marry him! Can you imagine that? Me? A wife? If he knew me better, he’d know that his offer was nuts.”
Lora was silent for a moment then asked, “Why?”
“Because I’d make a terrible wife,” she answered bluntly.
“Hmmm...it’s interesting, because the other night Heath asked if I’d like to start a family soon,” she mused, and Lindy turned to regard her sister with curiosity.
“What did you tell him?”
“I told him I didn’t think I was ready for that yet...but I might be ready soon. I need to work some things out before I take that step.”
“What do you need to work out?”
Lora exhaled a short breath. “Well, since returning to Larimar, I’ve lost my identity. I’m a workaholic by nature and having no job to speak of is really messing with my head.”
“Isn’t Larimar and handling Pops a full-time job?”
“Not really. I mean, yeah, it’s work but not like I’m accustomed to. But here’s the thing—I don’t want to go back to what I was doing. My life is here with Heath. It’s a change and I’m struggling to find my bearings, but it’s all worth it in the end, because he makes my life so much better than it was.”
“So if you know that you don’t want to go back to Chicago when this is all fixed, where’s your struggle with starting a family?”
“Probably the same reasons you don’t want to marry the man you’re in love with.”
“I’m not in love with him,” Lindy insisted, though the words fell strangely flat. “That’s ridiculous. I’ve only known him a month.”
“Pops and Grams enjoyed a whirlwind courtship, if you remember all the stories. It worked out for them.”
“A different time, a different set of people. I’m nothing like Grams was,” Lindy retorted.
Lora shrugged. “I don’t know about that. None of us know who Grams was before she was a wife and a mother. I’m just saying, there’s probably a lot about Grams we’ll never know. Maybe we’re all just like her in some ways. My point is, the reason you’re so worked up is the same reason I fought my feelings for Heath. You’re scared. If you admit to loving Gabe it puts you in a vulnerable place, one that will require change to make it work.”
“I’d have to move to the Bay Area,” she said, grimacing. “It’s cold there. All the time.”
“It’s beautiful and has some of the best wineries,” Lora countered with a smile.
“He says I should do some theater instead of the crap roles I’ve been taking based on my looks.”
“I think it’s a valid point. You’re a good actress...but the roles you’ve been taking...they’re nothing more than tits-and-ass parts that could be filled by anyone with a great body and a pretty face. You’re more than that. And the fact that Gabe sees it and you don’t says volumes.”
“My therapist said I’m a serial dater,” Lindy admitted. “And she’s right. I don’t want to hurt Carys or Gabe because I can’t make a commitment.”
“There it is...the fear. Lindy, we all have flaws, parts of ourselves we’re not overly proud of, but it doesn’t define who we are. Let’s use Lilah as an example—she tried to hurt herself. Are we going to let that define who she is? No. Of course not. She’s our sister and we love her. We know she’s so much more than a clinically depressed person who in a moment of pain and desperation tried to end it all. You need to stop defining yourself by your past and move on. You can choose to be a better person. You can choose to be a better wife and mother than you ever were a girlfriend. It’s all up to you.”
“Mother,” Lindy murmured, swallowing at the realization that she would step into that role with Carys if she accepted Gabe’s proposal. Charlotte left some pretty big shoes to fill. Was she really up to the challenge? “How’d you become so wise?” she asked with a small smile.
“Lots of mistakes,” she joked, and they both laughed.
“In that case, I ought to be Ghandi,” quipped Lindy.
They chuckled together and fell silent, watching the waves roll in and out. After a moment Lindy looked at her sister and said, “You’re going to make a great mom. Whatever you’re struggling with, let it go. You’re strong, amazing, smart and loving.... What more could a kid want?”
“Patience?” Lora supplied with a self-deprecating smile.
“That will come,” Lindy said. “You’re selling yourself short. You put up with twin sisters. You likely have the patience of Job and just never realized it.”
Lora laughed softly as if she hadn’t thought of that and then reached over to squeeze Lindy’s hand. “Thanks, sis.”
“Ditto.”
The conversation meandered to less heavy topics until they finally went their separate ways to start their day. But Lora’s advice rang in Lindy’s head.
Lora was right—she was afraid. Not only of ruining everything but of hurting the two people she’d come to love—yes, love—in a short period of time.
She wanted to know how Carys’s school day was and take her on shopping sprees. She wanted to cuddle up with Gabe after a long day and simply watch television together. Or share a bowl of popcorn at the movies.
Normal stuff.
Stuff she’d previously put no value upon.
After really evaluating things, she realized it’d been a long time since she’d enjoyed going out to the clubs until the wee hours of the morning, helping drunken starlets into a cab, being seen with the right people. At first it’d all been a grand adventure and she’d been high on the adrenaline of the lifestyle. But now she was simply irritated by all the ridiculous shenanigans that had nothing to do with creating good films and everything to do with spoiled celebrity life. Most of her friends were simply people she partied with because when she wasn’t drunk, they were too vapid and shallow for her to handle in the harsh light of the day. And she really, really hated her apartment.
So...why did she want to return to L.A.?
At the moment, she couldn’t think of a single reason.
* * *
GABE TRIED TO forget how things had ended with Lindy, but he couldn’t quite push from his mind the ugly things they’d said to one another.
He shouldn’t have said what he did about her career. It was rude and insensitive and she had every right to be hurt.
But when she’d outright rejected his proposal, even the very idea of marrying him, he’d lashed out and used the easiest ammunition to create the most damage.
What a prick.
“When are we going to see Lindy again?” Carys asked, admiring the Larimar pendant Lindy had given her. “I want her to come visit us soon. I miss her.”
“I don’t know, sweetheart,” Gabe said, dancing around the issue. Should he tell Carys the truth about their parting? Or should he just be deliberately evasive whenever Lindy’s name was brought up? In the end, he took the evasive route. “She’s real busy with the resort and stuff.... We’ll see.”
Carys looked at him and announced, “I think Mom would’ve really liked Lindy. She’s funny and Mom loved to laugh. Do you think they would’ve liked each other?”
“I think so,” Gabe answered, smiling. “Your mom was always a great judge of character.”
“I think so, too,” Carys said, happy Gabe agreed. “Can we call Lindy and invite her to stay with us soon? Maybe Lilah, too? She’d love it here, I think. I mean, there’s so many artists here in the Bay Area that she’d fit right in. Can we call and check on Lilah? I’m worried about her.”
“Lilah is in good hands. She’s busy getting well,” Gabe said. But he added, “We’ll give Larimar a call in a
week or two and see if there are any updates, but I should warn you, they might not want to share that personal information with us because we’re not family.”
“We’re like family,” Carys said, not missing a beat. “I can’t wait to go back to Larimar. It’s like home away from home. Lindy is going to take me diving when I’m old enough.”
Gabe did a double take, shocked at how at ease Carys had become with the Bell family.
“Honey...” He started to explain how it was likely they wouldn’t return to Larimar, but something held his tongue. He couldn’t quite say the words. Instead, he simply nodded and let it be.
But later that night, when he tossed and turned in his bed, his thoughts continued to circle around Lindy. He missed her smile, her laugh, her quirky sense of self. He’d never met anyone like her, and he never would again.
Of that he was certain.
And the knowledge that she’d never be his hurt like a son of a bitch.
He grabbed his cell phone and stared at it in the darkness, the glow from the LCD screen illuminating his face. He ought to call and at least apologize for his cutting remarks.
But if he heard her voice, he might crack and beg her to change her mind.
A man had his pride.
Still, his fingers hovered over the buttons, ready to call in spite of the knowledge that he ought to leave it be.
Muttering a curse to himself for being a sappy fool he shut off his phone and tossed it to his nightstand before deliberately turning his back on the phone with the intention of forcing himself into sleep.
Yeah...great plan.
Surprisingly, he fell asleep quickly.
Only his dreams were filled with Lindy and when morning came, he felt worse.
He didn’t know how he was going to get over Lindy Bell.
He wasn’t even sure he knew where to start.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
LILAH WAS COMING home today and Lindy was a nervous wreck.
“Will you stop?” Lora admonished in irritation when Lindy had zoomed past her for the third time to check the driveway for Lilah’s cab. “You’re making me want medication, too.”
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