How did the enemy trick her so easily?
Why could she not sense Tait was her mate before she killed him?
If she had learned nothing else about dragons and their mates, it was how strongly they were connected. She should have sensed it was him no matter how powerful the enemy. Yet she did not. She had felt nothing but fierceness and the need to kill.
The need to finally annihilate the man who raped and impregnated her sister.
Lauren roared in denial as memories started to flood back. The way thunder crashed and lightning lit the sky as she flew over the ocean. The way the wind gusted and seemed to work against her as she tried to get home as fast as possible. She had felt the harsh mental disconnection of Maeva’s dragon. Her sister had done it on purpose. She was trying to protect Lauren.
Something was terribly wrong.
Evil.
“You are flying, Lauren,” Tait whispered into her mind. “On your own.”
She blinked and realized he was right.
Not only was she flying but she was doing quite well.
While she wanted to appreciate the feeling of confidence and the thrill of being in control of her dragon, she couldn’t. Not as more images flashed through her mind. Arriving at the lair and finding the broken state of her sister’s body. The appalling brutality Bard had shown her.
Pure rage filled her. Rage she suppressed as she got her sister into a warm bath and proceeded to care for her. Dragons healed faster than most, but these wounds weren’t just the physical kind. And everyone knew, emotional wounds in a female dragon took far longer to heal. If that wasn’t enough, within a few short days, they learned that there were more repercussions. Maeva was pregnant.
“I will kill him for this,” Lauren vowed late one night. “I will destroy him for what he did to you.”
She knew her name wasn’t Lauren in this past life, but it didn’t matter. She was still herself...in a strange way. Somehow part of two lives at once, reliving her moments in this one.
“No, you will go nowhere near Bard, Sister.” Maeva shook her head. “He is far too powerful.” Her sad eyes met Lauren’s. “I will find sanctuary with Eluf at Mt. Galdhøpiggen’s peak. He will know what to do.”
“You put too much faith in that old seer,” Lauren muttered. “Let me and my mate protect you.” Her eyes pled with Maeva’s. “Let Einar protect you.”
“No,” she whispered. “Einar can never know about this.” She shook her head. “Never.”
“But the Sigdir dragons can help,” she started, yet Maeva shook her head and cut her off.
“Maybe. Someday. If Eluf approves.” Her sad eyes dropped to her stomach. “But not right now.”
“I cannot keep this from my mate, and he is connected to his Sigdir brethren,” Lauren murmured. “He likely already knows through our mental connection.”
“Not yet,” Maeva whispered, her heart in her eyes as she looked at Lauren. “Please do not be upset with me. Just hear him out.”
“Hear who out?”
“Me, child,” came a soft voice from behind her.
Lauren stood and spun. “Eluf.” She frowned. “What are you doing here?”
“I am here to help you both,” he said, his wizened face craggy as he leaned on his twisted cane. “To help protect your family lineage if you will allow me.”
Lauren narrowed her eyes. “Why does that sound so ominous?”
“Because it is,” he said. “The moment Bard senses that child he will do anything to get it. He will allow his tribe to brutalize yours then he will do far worse to your sister after she gives birth.” His eyes went between them. “I have already started hiding the babe with my magic. I can see it through until Maeva is full term and it is safe enough to send her through time where she will be kept well hidden.”
“Through time?” Lauren shook her head. “Is that even possible?”
“It is.” His eyes went to Maeva. “Will you allow me to help you, child?”
When Maeva’s eyes met Lauren’s, there was no mistaking her sister’s sadness and determination. She might have gotten impregnated against her will, but she would do anything to protect her child. Even if it meant giving up everything she knew and everyone she loved.
Lauren inhaled deeply, ready to argue, but stopped as she truly took in the enormity of the situation. Tait’s words, “The bigger picture,” came to mind. She was suddenly able to see how her response to Maeva right now could affect so much. Their relationship. The safety of the baby. The survival of their tribe. And far more.
Only one thing held her back.
Her mate.
“I cannot keep this from him,” she whispered, her pained eyes on Eluf. “I do not have the want or ability to keep this from my mate.”
“You must have the want for your tribe’s survival if nothing else,” Eluf said. “As to keeping it from him, I can help with that.” He stepped closer and held out his cane. “Touch my stick of ash, and this will be blocked from your mate.”
“Ash?”
“It is made from an ash tree nearly burned down by dragon fire,” Eluf said softly, watching her closely. “Touch this, and its magic will become yours. Its strength and wisdom. Its protection.”
“Whose dragon fire?” she whispered. “Whose dragon created such magic?”
Eluf didn’t answer her question. “Will you touch this stick and block your mate for the safety of your people? Will you sever part of your connection with him to save your sister and her unborn child?”
Lauren stared at him, torn. She had never been faced with such a difficult choice. Yet she knew deep down there was only one answer. Only one choice to be made.
Though it broke her heart to say it, Lauren nodded and said, “Yes.” She worked hard to repress her emotions, her dragon’s denial and rage that some small part of it was being blocked from its mate. “There is nothing I would not do for my sister. For my people.”
“Good.” Eluf kept his staff held out. “Then touch this, child, and we will see your sister to safety.”
“I’m sorry, my mate,” she whispered and didn’t hesitate another moment.
She touched it.
Then everything spun away. Eluf. Maeva. The ash staff. All of it.
“Lauren? Can you hear me?” Somebody shook her. “Look at me, woman. Now.”
She blinked through blurriness and frowned as she whispered, “Do not call me woman.”
“Lauren? Can you hear me?” A warm set of hands cupped her cheeks. “Are you with me?”
After a few more blinks, Tait materialized in front of her.
“What happened?” she managed, her mouth bone dry. She tried to look around. “Where are we?”
“Back at Mt. Galdhøpiggen’s peak.” He pulled her against him and provided much needed comfort. “But not in my era.”
Lauren stilled as she remembered the staff. What she had agreed to.
“I am so sorry,” she whispered.
“Why?”
She pulled back and met his eyes. “Did you follow any of what I experienced after I finally flew?”
“All I know is that your sister was hurt by the enemy.” He shook his head. “After that, your thoughts were shut off from me.”
So Eluf’s magic still worked to this day. It was still protecting her sister. A woman long gone.
Or was she?
If Maeva had been reborn in Erica, then it stood to reason Eluf’s magic was still very much alive.
“You do not remember all the long hours spent together beneath the ash tree here in your homeland,” came a whispered murmur. “But perhaps it is time you do.”
They turned to find Eluf standing in the same spot in the cave where he had been before. Her eyes went to his staff. It was the same one from another life.
“The ash tree is where you first found your mate, Lauren,” Eluf provided. “And where you suffered time and time again because you wanted to tell him the truth but could not.”
“What does that me
an?” Tait kept her close, his posture defensive and protective, the Gungnir blade at the ready. “What truth?”
Eluf shifted closer without moving. A trick of the eye or maybe his seer magic. He held out his staff. “Touch it and find out.” His eyes met Lauren’s. “Touch it so that you both see. So that you can remember. So that you can let go.”
“Why now?” she said. “Why after all this time?”
“Because now is the time.” He moved even closer. “Now is the time to remember everything and fight for all you are worth, fierce dragon.” His eyes went to Tait. “And for you to accept her help when it comes. To not be angry because she is willing to sacrifice as much for you as you are for her.”
Tait’s frown met hers as their eyes connected. “I do not like this.”
“Neither do I.” Her eyes returned to Eluf. “How do we know this is not just some big elaborate hoax? How do we know you are not in league with the enemy?”
“You do not,” he said. “But consider this. I had the power to pull you through time not once but twice and did not harm you. Why would I hurt you now? What would I stand to gain from it?”
“Only you know,” Tait shot back. “Why not just tell us what we need to know? Why show us?”
“Because telling you would never be enough,” he replied softly. “You must relive it and unlock it. Once you do, you will be stronger. You will have a better chance at protecting both of your lineages than you have ever had before.”
Something about his words rang true. The ash tree. Tait. Even renewed strength. But there was more. Great loss. Soul-wrenching loss. Yet she had to know. They had to do this. And she did not entirely understand why. Just that they did.
This was the last door in her mind.
“We have to.” Her eyes met Tait’s. “This is the only way to break free from the curse.”
His eyes held hers as he debated. As he mulled over how very dangerous it was.
“Please, Tait,” she said into his mind. “For me.”
“I don’t like this, Lauren,” he replied. “It’s unpredictable. Perhaps even dark.”
“But he is not forcing us to do it. He could. But he is not. He is giving us the choice to face our past.” She squeezed his hand. “Please.”
“Where you might be vulnerable,” he argued. “Where you might get hurt.”
“We already know you are the one who gets hurt by my blade.” Her brows lowered as she pleaded with him. “Let’s see if there is more to it. Let’s see if we can make sense of our life.”
Again their eyes held as he fought her, as he worried, but finally, he nodded and grunted, “All right,” then pressed her keychain into one hand and the Gungnir blade into the other. “But you’ll go well-armed.” His eyes went to Eluf. “I want a blade as well. Several preferably.”
“You already have your blade.” Eluf nodded at the Gungnir dagger. “None other will be needed or exist where you are going.”
“That’s not comforting,” Tait muttered and pulled her against his side. “But then neither is being thrust into certain death either.”
“You both have made difficult choices from the very beginning. For each other. For your people. For all that you care about.” Eluf gestured at his staff. “Now it is time to see through those choices. Embrace them. Accept them. Now it is time to come full circle.”
“Okay.” Lauren wrapped her hand with Tait’s and met his eyes. “Are you ready?”
“No,” he said and seemed almost as surprised as her when he murmured, “But I will follow my mate anywhere,” moments before they grabbed the staff together.
Then everything shifted, twirled away and became replaced with something else altogether. A beautiful ash tree stood well protected by cliffs at the edge of a meadow near the ocean. It seemed reliving their past meant starting at a very young age…and not as humans.
“This would never make a good staff!” Lauren declared as she tromped around the tree. “Its wood is not strong enough,” she huffed. “And it’s too weak to contain the proper amount of magic. Sustainability.”
“This tree has been here since the beginning of dragon kind yet you say that. Nothing is ever strong enough for you. Not even yourself I think.” A small black dragon peaked around the trunk and smiled, mischievous as ever. “But I will be strong enough for you. I will become your mate someday and show you just how strong.”
“Eww.” She scrunched her dragon nose. “I do not want a mate. Not ever.”
He eyed her, unsure. “Really?”
“Of course not.” She shook her head in disgust. “Mates do things that are…” She scrunched her nose again. “Full of ahhs and roars.”
“Ahhs and roars?” he asked. “What does that mean?”
“You know. When the cave ceiling starts to lose pieces and the ground shakes.” Lauren’s little dragon gave him a look. “The ahhs and roars are from the older dragons when they go off alone you know.”
“Hmm.” Little Tait who was still double her size even then, leaned against the tree beside her. “I always thought they were just playing.”
“No, you did not,” she replied, suddenly several years older and human as she responded to him. “Even then, you teased. Even then you knew.”
It was hard to guess their age, maybe late teens. He was just as tall but definitely younger as he lifted her and pressed her back against the tree. “I knew a lot of things, mate. And so did you.”
Then his lips were on hers. Not the sweet first kiss of new lovers but of a more experienced couple who had been doing this for a while. Who understood exactly how to pleasure each other.
“Get on your knees, dragon,” she ordered between kisses.
He didn’t make her wait but dropped to his knees. She lowered and shoved him back until she was able to straddle him. After that it was flashes. Her riding him. The two of them finding so much passion that yes, the ground shook and there were plenty of ahhs and roars.
Then things changed yet again.
This time there was a new strain between them.
They lay in the grass beneath the tree, both nude and breathing heavily. They had obviously just made love. He was older based on the way he had filled out. Yet his face was harder than the Tait of the future.
“Is it still you in there?” she whispered.
“Yes,” his voice echoed before this version of him spoke. “I know something is wrong. I know there is something you are not telling me.” He pulled her hand onto his chest and met her eyes. “Do not shut me out, mate. I will never forgive you if you do.”
Never forgive her? Chills ran up her spine. Hadn’t she said something similar to him recently in Maine before Charles showed up? That she would not forgive him?
“I would never shut you out,” she lied because she had. She knew this moment took place after her agreement with Eluf. And she gathered by the look in his eyes, he knew she wasn’t being truthful. What she didn’t entirely expect was the way it churned her insides. The sick feeling that seemed to consume her soul.
As if he sensed her every thought and might very well without understanding why, he came over her, his expression suddenly intense and angry “Just tell me,” he pleaded as his eyes searched hers and he lowered, caging her in. “Tell me so that I can help you. Tell me so that I can protect you.”
“I can protect myself.” She put a hand against his chest. “I can always protect myself.”
“By isolating yourself.” He frowned. “All you have done lately is crawl further inside yourself. Blocked me off. Kept away.” Sadness mixed with anger. “Why?” He shook his head. “Why are you shutting me out?” He clenched his jaw. “You keep creating walls within your mind. Barriers. Do not think I don’t see them.”
Walls? Barriers?
Like hallways and doors?
It couldn’t be. Yet she knew it was.
This was all part of why she’d had issues back home. Somehow one life leaked into another. Somehow she had tried to repress everything again. Sh
e stared into his eyes, desperate to tell him, but unable. How could she ever live with herself if she put her sister and unborn nephew in harm’s way? The safety of her own dragon tribe? She swallowed back emotion. Sacrifices had to be made and if it was with her and her mate, then so be it. He would do the same if their situations were reversed.
“You are my mate, my love,” he growled, and wrapped his hand into her hair, his touch gentle but rough enough to let her dragon know he had never been more serious. “My best friend since the moment we walked. From the moment we first spread our wings.” His eyes narrowed, and he came within inches of her. “Tell me what you are hiding. If not, I will take you prisoner.”
“Prisoner?” she whispered, her tone both throaty and disbelieving as she was caught between being aroused by his dominance and angered by his assumption that he could so easily take her prisoner. “Who do you think you are talking to?”
“Someone who is putting my tribe at risk with her evasiveness.” His lips came close, and his breath whispered across her cheek as he wedged her thighs apart. “Someone I believe keeps life-threatening secrets.”
Her breathing became labored and choppy as his lips came so close she could feel their heat. “Someone who’s most certainly putting her own life at risk.”
Then he cupped her cheek and thrust.
Just like that, her thoughts scattered.
But then that was what he wanted.
“My mate,” she groaned and wrapped her legs around him, desperate to feel him move.
“Tell me.” His eyes met hers, and he remained still.
“No.”
“Tell me,” he repeated and shifted just enough to make her release a solid ahh.
“No.”
He gripped her hair tighter and swirled his hips just the way she liked, the sort of motion that made the ground tremble but not quite shake. Yet it was more than enough to need more. Far more. And right now.
“Tell me,” he growled, keeping her in limbo, teasing her as only he knew how. A touch of his hand here. A stroke of her body there.
“Odin above,” she gasped and tried to make him move, tried to flip him and take control, but he wasn’t budging. Instead, he was torturing her. “I cannot tell you,” she managed as tears of frustration leaked from her eyes. There was nothing more awful than this. Her mate teasing but not giving her what she needed.
Soul of a Viking (The MacLomain Series: Viking Ancestors' Kin Book 3) Page 24