“A prude?” he finished for me.
I held my head lowly.
“Yeah,” I said in a small voice. “We’ll just—we’ll just do it if you want to.”
Hopefully, he would pass out before he could hold me to my promise. Once upon a time, perhaps I enjoyed sleeping with Matt. For the past few years, things had been different. He had changed. We had changed.
“You should want to,” he grunted. “A lot of girls would kill to have a night with this. You know that?”
Sadly, it was true. Girls around the neighborhood found my husband to be absolutely endearing. They didn’t know the truth. They didn’t see the real Matt.
“I know,” I replied, though I wanted to say much worse. “I-I’ll do better. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—I shouldn’t have been mean.”
He nodded and waved at the bartender. She gave him a dirty look, but filled his pint anyway.
“You’re right,” he murmured. “You shouldn’t have been. You’re lucky I ain’t teachin’ you a lesson for that.”
If we were not in public, he surely would have raised his hand at me. No matter what I said, I was wrong. Over the years, I had learned to apologize. If I didn’t, the punishment would be much worse.
As my angry husband drank his beer and gave me the silent treatment, I looked around the bar. It was as empty as usual, but there were a few others there. A couple in the corner caught my attention. The man was tall, with rippling muscles and an arm of tattoos much nicer than the prison ink adorning my husband. His girlfriend was skinny, with large breasts, a fake tan, and big hair. For a split second, I wondered what it would be like to be her. Was he good to her? Or did he lay his hands on her just like my husband did to me? I had so many questions. If only I could ask them.
“Gimme another,” Matt slurred, drunkenly waving down the bartender. “I gotta get a good buzz goin’.”
“Oh, I think you already have a good buzz going,” I said, patting him on the back. “Honey, don’t you think you’ve had enough?”
His eyes became wild and he raised his hand. The bartender’s jaw dropped as he slapped me right across the face. For the first time in our marriage, he actually hit me in a public place. After he crossed that boundary, there was no going back. I couldn’t be safe anywhere.
“You tryin’ to tell me how to live my life, bitch?” he shouted. “What gives you the right to tell me what to do? With how little you put out, you’re lucky I don’t fuck every dumb b—”
“Excuse me,” a deep voice interrupted him.
I turned around from the bar stool and met eyes with the very man that had peaked my curiosity. My face flushed as he tapped Matt on the shoulder.
“You got a problem?” Matt asked.
He was so drunk he didn’t even realize how large the man was.
“I do have a problem,” the man grunted. “I got a problem with grown-ass men that hit their ladies.”
Matt got to his feet and puffed out his chest.
“And what are you gonna do about it?” he spat, pompously.
The man chuckled and wrung his hands together.
“Well, since you asked…”
Then, he swung. He was lightning fast—much faster than Matt. I let out a scream as my husband fell the floor. Jerk or not, I loved him dearly. I didn’t want to see him hurt, especially over something that I did.
Chapter Two – Questions for a Violent Man
The man towered over my husband’s weak, drunken frame, and I could feel tears welling in my eyes. No matter how he spoke to me, I never wished for him to get hurt.
“What did you do?” I shrieked. “Someone get help!”
Matt wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth and looked up at the man who towered over us.
“Why you—”
Matt tried to lunge at him, but the beastlike man stopped him with his large forearm.
“Don’t even try,” he mumbled.
“Stop it!” I yelled, pushing between the two of them. “No one is going to lay their hands on anyone else tonight, okay?”
The man looked down at Matt, fury in his face.
“Just get out of here. And treat your lady better.”
Matt gulped and nodded.
“O-okay,” he agreed. “I-I will.”
I knew he would go back on his promise the second we got home. I should have been appreciative to the man, but I was blinded by love. I held my husband close and cooed into his ear.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “Let’s get you home.”
As I helped Matt to his feet, I saw the man making his way to the doors. His girlfriend watched him leave in confusion, yet she did not chase after him. Maybe she was avoiding him. Maybe he was just as violent as my husband.
“Do you want me to call the police?” the bartender asked.
I looked at Matt and raised my brows. He shook his head. He knew that the police would arrest him for slapping me and I knew it too. It was better if we just went home and forgot any of it ever happened.
“No, I don’t think so,” I answered, placing an affectionate hand on his shoulder. “I think we need to get home and sleep off these beers. What do you think, honey?”He gave me a dirty look, but nodded, nonetheless.
“Yeah, alright,” he murmured. He waved at the bartender. “Thanks for everything.”
She nodded, a concerned look on her face. I could tell that she feared for my safety. I knew this because it was the same face my mother made every time she watched me go somewhere with Matt. Although I argued with her told her I was fine, I wasn’t. Every time she gave me that look, I would go home with him and I would face the consequences. Sometimes, I did whatever he accused me of. Sometimes, I didn’t. Either way, he would call me “bitch” by the end of the night. If it got really bad, he might even hit me.
I paid our exceptionally high tab and followed Matt out of the bar. As I passed by, I met eyes with the man’s girlfriend. She looked just as worried as the bartender.
“Hey, are you okay?” she asked, coming towards me.
Matt glared down at her.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked. “You tryin’ to say somethin’, bitch?”
The woman rolled her eyes. I had never seen anyone give Matt such attitude. She wasn’t even afraid of him.
“I’m checking on your girl,” she retorted, pushing past him. She narrowed her eyes. “Bruises. He does this a lot then, eh?”
She glanced up at him. Matt was fuming. I thought he was about to hit her.
“N-no,” I said, looking down at the floor. “I fell down the stairs a few weeks ago. I’m a bit of a klutz.”
She looked me up and down and nodded.
“Fell, eh?” she muttered, crossing her arms. “Typical excuse. You tell her to say that?”
She nodded at Matt. I could practically see the steam coming out of his orifices.
“Look, we need to be getting home—”
“So he can beat your ass there?” she asked, raising a brow. “Look, if you need somewhere to go for the night, my apartment is just a few blocks away. You’re free to stay for a few days until you can find somewhere to go.”
I had gotten this offer from a handful of friends and I always turned them down. I wasn’t about to accept it from a stranger.
“Oh, I’m fine. I hope you and your boyfriend have a good night,” I murmured.
Matt grabbed my arm and started pulling me towards the door.
“He isn’t my boyfriend!” the girl called after us. “No men at my place! Offer is still good!”
I gave her a helpless glance as he pulled me out the door. I could see the concern in her expression.
“Thank you,” I mouthed.
She nodded and gave me a sad wave.
No matter how many people cared about my safety, I would never be willing to leave Matt. He needed me and I needed him. He was all I’d known since high school and when we took our vows, h
e became all I ever would know. Eventually, I would have to come to terms with that.
As soon as we got back home, Matt was already fishing through freezer for more alcohol. He found a small pint of rum and took a swig. I didn’t think he needed to drink anything else, but I kept my mouth shut.
“Can you believe that bitch in the bar?” he spat. “Who does she think she is?”
She was just trying to help and I knew that. I knew I couldn’t say that, though.
“No idea. Totally overstepped her boundaries,” I agreed.
I didn’t want him to lay a hand on me again. I had to be good.
He nodded.
“Damn right she did.”
“That guy too—I don’t know what he thought he was doing,” I went on to say. “You can’t just hit people in the bar.”
He took another swig of rum.
“We’ll just drink at home from now on,” he grumbled. “I can’t deal with people.”
Though I nodded in agreement, I was terrified. There was nowhere I could hide. He would hit me no matter where we went.
Chapter Three – Escaping the Insanity
Matt was always cycling through jobs. Eventually, he would snap or his drinking would become a problem and he would be fired, but he somehow always found another place within a few days. It was the only way we could afford his drinking habit.
Luckily for me, he was finally working someplace that was willing to give him a day shift. During the day, it was peaceful. During the day, I was free.
I was fortunate enough to have a mother willing to watch my son so I could get some free time. Though it sometimes felt wrong, I took advantage as much as I could.
Matt didn’t let me have my own vehicle, but I was allowed to go to town for a few hours as long as I texted him updates and as long as my mom could watch Jase. He had gotten sick of me leaving with Jase for a few days at a time when the night were really bad. If I didn’t update him or if I took Jase with me, I would be beaten as soon as he found me. I knew this from experience.
I walked into town hoping to enjoy a nice day of window shopping without him looming over my shoulder. After I stopped at a hotdog vendor to get some lunch, I texted him a quick update and continued on about my day. The streets were full of lovely shops that I desperately wished I could afford.
Then, something caught my eye.
There was a gym. Signs were plastered all over it, advertising free self-defense classes. My phone buzzed in my purse and I pulled it out. Matt’s response only reassured me that I needed to get those self-defense classes. It read:
dont be out 2 late i want dinner on the table when i get home. is jase with ur mom??
I closed my eyes and texted him back. I was tired of being my husband’s slave. I was tired of being his punching bag. Things were about to change.
I walked into the gym.
There were mats and rubber dummies everywhere, along with various Asian symbols that I certainly could not read. The gym was riddled with martial artists, yet none of them were actually hurting each other. I smiled a little. It was just the release that I needed.
I searched for an office or a signup sheet, but the large building was rather strangely designed. I motioned for one of the martial artists. He bowed to his sparring partner and came over to me.
“Yes?” he asked.
I looked around and asked, “Where can I sign up?”
He looked me up and down.
“You don’t mean for the tournament, do you?” he asked.
I shook my head.
“S-self-defense,” I corrected him, looking down at the floor. “I uh—I just want to be able to protect myself.”
He looked at my face and nodded. The bruises gave him all the story that he needed.
“You’ll want to talk to Drew. I’ll see if I can find him.”
I crossed my arms and nervously followed the man along some practice mats in a tight hallway. We ended up in another room with several men fighting. They seemed much larger than the ones in the first room. I gulped. I was starting to think the self-defense class was not such a good idea.
“Drew!” the smaller man shouted.
A large man towards the back turned around. My eyes widened. It was the same man from the bar. He didn’t see me, but he would soon. I thought about running, yet my feet seemed to be glued in place.
“What’s up, Mike?” he asked.
“Got another one for the self-defense class,” Mike replied, gesturing me.
Drew raised his brow and smirked.
“Oh really?” he asked. “For self-defense, you said?”
Mike nodded.
“You wanna help her sign up?”
Drew nodded and murmured, “I’d be happy to.”
Mike scurried away and Drew’s sparring partner grabbed his water bottle. He was covered in sweat, yet Drew seemed like he could go for hours. There wasn’t a droplet of sweat on him.
It was at that moment that I decided to make a run for it.
“Actually, this was a mistake. I think I’m going to go—”
“No mistake,” Drew grunted, taking a step in front of me. “You did the right thing coming here.”
I looked at the floor and shook my head.
“No, I didn’t. This was a huge mistake. I should just leave now. Matt’s waiting at home and if I don’t—”
“Or you could stay here and learn how to take care of yourself,” he interjected. “Stay. I think you need this.”
I sighed and nodded. He was right, but I was afraid.
“Matt can’t know I’ve been here,” I said. “I have ten in cash, but I can’t pay on the credit card because he looks it over and he’ll kill me if—”
“I won’t take your cash,” Drew muttered, leading me back down the strange matted hallway. He led me into a small office. “Abuse victims learn for free. That’s a rule around here.”
I sat down in the plastic chair across from the desk. Drew sat down and started rifling through paperwork.
“I’m not an abuse victim,” I asserted. “I just want to know how to protect myself.”
He started scribbling something down and raised an eyebrow.
“Against who?”
That question threw me for a loop. I looked down.
“No one in particular,” I murmured. “Intruders, I guess.”
He nodded.
“I see. Well, whatever intruders you got comin’ around won’t hurt you ever again,” he muttered, pushing a form towards me. “Not after I’m done with you.”
I gave him a small smile and signed the form.
“Good.”
He looked over the form and glanced up at me.
“You know, this isn’t very professional of me, but is there someplace I could meet you or something?” he asked. “I feel like you could use an ear. I’m uh—I’m here to lend it.”
I bit my lip and thought about it. Matt would kill me if he knew I was meeting with another man.
“Well, Matt lets me go out to the library to study once a week. Saturdays. Usually my mom can take my son—”
“You have a kid with that asshole?” he interrupted.
I held my head lowly.
“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
“It’s okay,” I cut him off. “You’re right. It was a bad choice. But there’s not much I can do about it now. I really have to go, but we can meet in the library on Saturday. Around five, okay?”
He nodded.
“I’ll be there.”
Chapter Four – Escaping the Insanity
Amazingly enough, Matt had not yet been fired from his job. He had been drinking more than usual, but that meant he passed out earlier. Sometimes, his alcoholism worked in my favor.
As Saturday neared, I thought about my meeting with Drew. Though I hadn’t intended for it to be a romantic meeting, part of me hoped that it was. The girl we met in that bar hadn’t been his
girlfriend, so he could be single. If only I was too.
“So, I have a big chemistry test coming up,” I lied, tapping my fingernails on the counter-top. “Would you mind if I went and studied for it?”
He drunkenly waved me off.
“I don’t give a damn,” he mumbled. “Can yer mom take Jase?”
He should have been responsible enough to watch his own son, but I knew that was asking too much.
“Yes, I already called her,” I replied. “You won’t have to deal with him all night.”
He raised an eyebrow and seized his bottle of whiskey.
“All night?” he asked. “I won’t have to hear him cryin’?”
I grinned and nodded.
“Yep. I am not ready for this chemistry test,” I explained. “Me and Suzie are going to study ‘til close.”
“Suzie?” he asked. “Have I met Suzie?”
He had, but it was like him not to remember.
“Yeah, you have. You had been drinking a little so I doubt you remember her. Curly blonde hair. Kind of a big nose.”
“Oh, Suzie! Okay, yeah. I remember her. Alright, well, just make sure Jase gets to your ma’s, okay? Have fun studyin’. You’ll do good,” he mumbled. “I’m just gonna drink my beer and watch wrestlin’.”
Suddenly, there was a pang of guilt in my heart.
“Thanks, honey,” I murmured in a small voice. “I’ll be back late, okay?”
“Yeah, sure. Just text me when you get there safe.”
I wished he would have been a jerk. Then maybe I would feel less bad about lying to him to see Drew.
The library was far away from anywhere that Matt or his few friends hung out. It was a bit of a safe haven for me, though I’d never met another man there before. That part was completely out of my character.
“I see you made it in one piece,” Drew murmured as I walked in the double doors.
“Shh,” I hissed. “This is a library.”
He furrowed his brow and followed me to the corner reading nook.
“Yeah, and nobody else is here,” he chuckled. “You okay? You seem tense.”
“No, I’m not okay,” I replied. “I’m married and I’m meeting another man in a secret place—behind my husband’s back. It’s wrong. Honestly, I should probably just go home…”
Romance: SPORTS ROMANCE: The First Half (Bad Boy Alpha Male College Football Romance) (New Adult Contemporary Pregnancy Romance) Page 4