by Amy Hopkins
Amelia swallowed two of them dry. “Gods, I’ll kill that bastard myself if the Sasquatch doesn’t.”
Hiding a smile, Penny emerged into the morning sunlight. She winced, realizing she should have asked Amelia if she had enough Tylenol to share.
Cisco waved at her from across the clearing, stirring a bowl over a steel camp table. Nearby, the blue cooler sat with the lid open. “Do you know how to build a fire?”
Penny nodded, wandering over to see a small stack of firewood was already set up in a neat pile, the previous night’s ash and charcoal swept into a pile beside it.
“Catch!”
Penny spun just in time to see Jones toss a box of matches her way. She reached out, the tiny box bouncing off her fingers and falling to the ground when she fumbled it. “A little warning next time, hey?”
“A wildebeest won’t give notice before it charges.” Jones’s face held just a little too much glee.
Before long, they had a cast iron skillet perched over a crackling fire. The aroma of herbs and mushrooms filled the air.
Cisco stirred the eggs. “It’s almost ready.” He nodded to the table. “Penny, can you grab the plates?”
Penny helped Cisco dish out the scrambled eggs as Jones dangled bread slices over the fire in a claw-like contraption to toast them.
Corey and Heddy finally appeared, one looking bright and bushy-tailed, the other paler than the ivory makeup she usually wore.
They sat together on a fallen log, but when Corey leaned over and said something to Heddy, she shook her head in disgust and went to find another place to sit.
She eventually parked herself on the bare ground beside Boots, who’d curled up in the warmth of the fire and took the plate Penny handed her gratefully.
“You ok?” Penny asked. “Or do we need to feed someone to a hungry Myther?”
“It’s fine.” Heddy sighed. “I’m pretty used to it now.”
“Is that breakfast?” Amelia shuffled over, face pasty-white and eyes red.
At least she’s not green anymore, Penny mused.
“Save some for me!” Red appeared from the trees, zipping up his jeans as he ambled over.
He glanced at Amelia, and their eyes met for a brief second. Red immediately looked away, blushing. Amelia just rolled her eyes. Despite any awkwardness, the two somehow managed to end up sitting next to each other, perched on a fat log with plastic plates balanced on their knees.
Cisco sauntered over to Penny once the skillet had been lifted off the fire. “How’s it taste?”
“Oh, my God,” Penny gushed. The smell had been tantalizing, but the actual taste sent a shiver of deliciousness down her spine. “It’s amazing! If you learned to cook like this from your mum, I’m definitely coming over for dinner.”
“I can’t take all the credit,” Cisco admitted. “If Cook hadn’t packed every spice known to man, it’d be plain-ass eggs for breakfast.”
“You did good.” Penny stopped talking to cram the last bit of egg-laden toast into her mouth, then brushed the crumbs from her fingers to reach over and high-five Cisco. “Bloody good work, mate.”
Jones congratulated Cisco as well but hustled the students to finish. “We have work to do,” he reminded them.
Once breakfast was cleaned up and packed away, Jones ensured everyone’s backpack was packed with water, lunch, a map and compass, and a small first aid kit.
Next, he lined them up. “What we hope to face today is a monster long rumored to be present in these hills. Sightings have been plentiful, but always brief, with little real information to divulge its nature.”
He paced back and forth, shaking his finger as he spoke. “We know that it’s wily. Intelligent! It is strong and fast. Are six children and an aging soldier up to the task of capturing it?”
He ignored the scowls and Red’s muttered protest about being a “fully-grown adult, thank you very much.”
“We must outsmart the beast,” Jones continued. “And succeed where that fool Craster failed. We must be swift and work as a team. Most importantly, we must be armed.” He marched over to the van, shoving a side door open and dragging out a flat, padlocked box.
“You brought guns?” Amelia demanded. “That was not on the travel brochure!”
“Forget the guns,” Penny murmured. “Did he just call Craster an idiot?” She had already come to like the eccentric old professor.
“This’ll be awesome!” Corey’s excitement was not entirely unexpected, but Penny couldn’t suppress her eyeroll.
“Don’t worry,” Jones called. “No bullets, just tranquilizer darts. If you get hit by one, you’ll probably survive the event.”
“Probably?” Penny asked dubiously.
Jones stood, brandishing a long, skinny rifle. “Well, I can’t guarantee it. These babies were designed to take down a five-hundred-pound beast, not a school kid.”
“Do I look like I’m fucking twelve?” Red snapped, his patience worn thin.
“Hey, just because you lost your boyhood last night, doesn’t make you a man.” Jones sighed, cutting off Red’s stammered protest. “Boy, when you’re fucking in the woods, it’s best to do so quietly. You never know what kind of beast will take interest. If I hadn’t been out there guarding the campsite with one of these, you might have both been killed!”
“Oh, God.” Amelia sank her face into her hands. “I wish Bigfoot would just eat me already and put me out of my misery.” Her face was, to Penny’s amusement, as bright as her new lover’s.
“Hey, at least you had fun.” Penny nudged Amelia in the ribs. “A lot of fun by the sound of it.”
Amelia lifted her head enough to smirk. “You have no idea how much fun.”
Finally, armed with dart guns and minds reeling with Jones’s convoluted instructions on how to use them, the team of hunters advanced toward the trees. They walked single file, following the path Jones cut for them through the thick growth. His machete set off a run of jokes on what a ‘knife’ was as Cisco and Red tried to outdo Penny’s Australian accent.
“Ssh!” Jones’s urgent whisper and raised hand cut the chatter in an instant. “This is the spot.”
Cisco moved to one side to give Penny a clear view into the small clearing. She lifted her rifle, mindful not to point it at any of her friends as she swept it side to side, taking in the piles of chewed-on bones and piles of detritus that scattered the ground.
Corey was a little less careful. Finger on the trigger, he held the scope to his eye, waving the muzzle wildly.
“God damn it, kid!” Jones growled. He stomped over and fixed Corey’s stance and grip. The boy took the correction surprisingly well.
“It just looks like a dirty campsite.” Red’s voice rang out too loud in the quiet, wavering with uncertainty.
“Look.” Cisco pointed at a set of claw marks running in jagged lines down a tree trunk.
“What did that?” Amelia asked in a whisper. Her rifle was butted against her shoulder, her finger resting safely on the outside of the trigger guard.
Penny realized she’d allowed the barrel of her rifle to drop and quickly corrected. She wasn’t a total stranger to guns, but that one time she went out shooting wild pigs in the outback didn’t exactly compare to hunting a Sasquatch.
Jones thrust his dangling rifle behind his back, creeping forward with his knife held out in front of him. He carefully made his way over to a pile of bones, then circled it, facing the forest. Once satisfied that they were alone, he bent down and snatched up one of the bones.
“These aren’t human teeth patterns,” he hissed at Red.
Red took the bone between two fingers, holding it aloft with his disgust clearly written across his face. Even in the dappled light filtered by thick foliage, Penny could see the deep scores where teeth had gnawed the bone. Jones was right. There was nothing human about those marks.
“WHERE ARE YA?” Jones’s sudden bellow sent rifles waving in frantic fear. “COME OUT, YA YELLOW BASTARD!”
The panicked beating of Penny’s heart hadn’t slowed when the forest sent its own answer. The trees trembled as an angry screech hammered her eardrums. Moments later, the trembling turned to violent shaking as something very large rushed the clearing.
“Bigfoot!” Cisco jerked his weapon toward the commotion. “Fire!”
Penny registered the thunk of a dart hitting wood before realizing he’d discharged the rifle already. She looked around, fear anchoring her feet to the ground even as she stood exposed in the clearing.
Red was nowhere to be seen. Amelia’s sharp intakes of breath gave away her hiding spot behind a fallen tree.
Jones...well.
The professor had climbed a half-rotted stump and stood hollering at the forest, beating his chest.
Something large and brown slammed into him, landing on top of the screaming professor and finally silencing the yells.
The Sasquatch was tall, covered in heavy fur that accentuated its bulging muscles.
Penny gulped when it turned its head toward her, its black lips pulled back in a snarl that exposed its sharp white teeth.
“Shoot it!” Cisco fired again, then yanked another dart from his belt. His rifle shook in his hands, rattling as he tried to load it.
The Sasquatch turned toward Cisco and growled.
Cisco’s eyes followed the threat. Then he fumbled, cursing when the dart rolled to the ground.
“Oh...shit.” Penny yanked her gun up and fired twice, one round after the other. Both shots missed, one thwapping into a tree, the other sailing into the forest uselessly.
Two thumping steps brought the monster face to face with Cisco. Penny snatched at her belt. “Stay still,” she hissed. “Just stay still, Cisco.”
Cisco seemed unable to do otherwise. He stood trembling as the furred face drifted toward him. The beast sniffed at Cisco with a flattened ape-like nose, seeming to relish the scent.
Penny freed the dart and carefully tipped her weapon up so she could reach the chamber. Eyes on Cisco, willing the beast to wait, she heard a snick as the dart slipped into place.
The sound caught the beast’s attention. It turned its head, green eyes and cat-slit pupils running over Penny’s body with ruthless intelligence.
“Hey! Over here, Hasselhoff!” Penny’s eyes jerked to Amelia, who stood on the fallen log waving her arms.
The Sasquatch roared and swung an arm, knocking Cisco to the ground as it turned and bore down on Amelia.
Amelia squealed and dove back behind the log. “Hurry up!” she squeaked. “I don’t want to die!”
Penny lifted the rifle, looking down the scope at the lumbering beast. She followed its momentum and let out a slow breath. She squeezed the trigger.
The dart hit the Sasquatch in the flank, pink flights jutting out. It didn’t slow.
Penny’s heart skipped a beat. Should have loaded two. She grabbed for another dart.
“Hey, sexy!” Cisco yelled. He scrambled to one knee then lifted his gun. “Don’t turn your back on me!”
Whirling, the Sasquatch bellowed. Its eyes darted from Cisco to Penny, then spun back to a cowering Amelia.
Penny fumbled her next dart and cursed when it rolled away across the ground. “Shit! I dropped it!” Penny yelled.
The Sasquatch turned to her as if understanding her predicament. It snarled, then dropped to a crouch.
“Run!”
Cisco’s shout loosened Penny’s feet at last. She turned and ran, flying into the forest, jumping over roots and rocks, ducking under large branches and letting small ones slap her harmlessly in the chest.
Behind her, the clumping footfalls and heavy breathing of the Sasquatch pursued.
Penny ducked behind a tree, veering off to the left. The crashing stopped, giving her a brief moment of hope before the thundering chase resumed.
“Penny! Back this way!” Cisco’s voice filtered through the pounding of her heart. Penny followed it, all sense of direction skewed but trusting her ears to guide her.
A bellow rang out behind her. Penny burst into the clearing and leaped over the fallen tree. Ahead, Amelia, and Cisco stood, rifles aimed toward her.
“DUCK!” Amelia screamed.
Penny dropped to the ground, her momentum propelling her into a slide. Behind her, the Sasquatch roared. Time slowed once more.
Guns fire.
Thock! Thock!
Penny twisted her head, following the arc of two bright darts as they silently sailed the short distance between her friends and their foe.
Both hit, embedding in their target’s flank.
The Sasquatch lumbered forward, eyes wild.
Penny rolled to a squat. The beast took another step and reached for Penny with a monstrous fist. She threw herself backward, any attempt at gaining her footing gone.
Time stopped as she sprawled on her back.
Or perhaps, Penny realized after a moment, it wasn’t time that froze.
The Sasquatch stood, teetering on unsteady feet. It looked down and blinked.
Then it fell.
When Penny came to, it was to the stench of dank, wet fur, dog breath, and a dry, flickering tongue tickling her cheek.
“Urgh.” She turned her head to escape the smell, but it followed her, permeating her nostrils with eye-watering potency. I guess it isn’t snake-breath, then. In a display of uncanny intuition, Boots gave an irritated hiss and head-butted Penny’s cheek before slithering away.
“Penny?” Amelia’s face appeared over her. “Are you ok, hon?”
Penny reassembled the scrambled pieces of her mind to check. Legs? Still attached. Arms? Moving. Boots? Annoying the shit out of me, so clearly fine. Breathing ok, except for… “What crawled into my nose and died?”
“It’s Sassy. He’s a bit fresh.” Amelia pulled back so Penny could sit up.
“Sassy?” Penny rubbed her head. It throbbed harder than it had when she’d woken up that morning. She sat where she had fallen, body-slammed by the monster when it slipped unconscious from the tranquilizer darts. Her ass and back were wet from the damp leaf litter, and dead leaves hung from her matted hair.
“I named him. Sassy the Sasquatch.” Amelia grinned and gestured to the still-sleeping pile of fur splayed on the forest floor, where Boots had gone to investigate. “Cisco thinks it’s a territorial thing. Like, he’s stinking out the other Sasquatch in the area.”
“Other Sasquatch?” Penny jolted to her feet, unsteady but alert for danger. Boots jerked her head up and wriggled back to Penny, head raised in concern.
“Steady, girl.” Amelia pulled Penny’s wrist. “Figure of speech. We haven’t seen any others lurking about.”
“Oh.” Still dazed, Penny blinked to focus her eyes properly. Boots nudged her knee. “What about you, love? You didn’t bite him, did you?” She had no idea what effect the tranquilizer might have on Boots if she did. In fact, she wasn’t even sure how the serpent had found her. Penny had left her basking by the fire.
“It’s ok. I kept an eye on her while you were out.” Amelia crouched down to coo at the serpent, who replied with an elegant dance. “I don’t know when she turned up. I saw her checking out Sassy, but she seems fine.”
“Hey! Sleeping Beauty is up!” Red emerged from the trees, Cisco trailing behind.
“Which one?” Cisco asked before peeking over Red’s shoulder to check.
Red snorted. “The less stinky of the two.” He walked over to kick the comatose beast. “Did he move while we were gone?”
Amelia shook her head and patted a rifle on the ground next to her. “Not yet. It’s only been a few hours, though. How long are these things supposed to last?”
Red and Cisco both shrugged.
“Uh, guys?” Penny glanced around, seeing no one else in the clearing. “Where are the others?”
“Corey got hurt,” Amelia said gently. Penny tried to get up, but Amelia gently pressed her back down. “He’ll be fine. Heddy is looking after him.”
Penny squash
ed down a trickle of unease that Heddy was ‘looking after’ someone who so clearly disliked her. “And Jones?”
Cisco pulled a disgusted face. “Jones bailed. He came back after we took down the giant gerbil. He had some excuse about a faulty gun, but it was bullshit. When things got tough, he ran.”
“No!” Penny choked back a laugh. “Mr. Tough Guy? Seriously? I thought he said he was a professional hunter!”
“He was, he just never found anything,” Cisco clarified. “And when he did, he realized he’s as yellow as an egg yolk.”
“Yeah. And when he finally found his balls and came back, he left again to call for backup.” Amelia seemed as unimpressed as Cisco. “Apparently, the genius didn’t think we’d actually find the Sasquatch we came looking for. Now we’ve got one, and no way to get it home.”
Penny’s eyes widened. “We’re taking it home?”
Red walked over and stuck his hand out to Penny. She grabbed it and let him pull her to her feet. “I know you guys think he’s trash, but give him a break, ok? He was scared.”
“You weren’t.” Amelia stepped closer to Red and looped an arm around him. “Red hid in the trees and shot from behind,” she explained to Penny. “That’s the only reason he fell when he did. By the time Cisco and I got our rounds off, Mr. Bigfoot here had enough rounds decorating his ass to double as a Mardi Gras costume.”
“Wow.” Penny grinned at Red, admiration blooming. “Good work, mate!”
Red looked away, abashed. “It was nothing. Couldn’t let the hairy fecker get you, after all.”
“I’m glad you were here.” Penny smiled, then rubbed her face. “Man. I must have really conked my head. My ears are ringing!”
Amelia looked up, frowning. “I don’t think it’s you.”
The low, rhythmic whine solidified into the thud of a helicopter overhead. Penny looked up, wondering if it would pass over the tiny patch of clear sky over the clearing. It didn’t, but the staccato beat grew until the leaves nearby stirred gently.
“It’s landing nearby,” Cisco called over the noise. “I’m guessing he’s why.”
He pointed over Penny’s shoulder, and she turned to see Jones standing by a tree, yelling into a handheld radio. Without missing a beat, he tossed a pile of ropes at her, then jutted his chin at the fallen Sasquatch before stomping back into the forest.