by Amy Hopkins
Voice cracking at the end, Amelia sank down on her knees next to the bed. “I’m so glad you’re okay,” she whispered.
“He turned up at the Academy entrance just after dawn,” the dean explained crisply. “Naked.”
“I did?” Red asked, wincing. “I don’t remember that bit.” He peeked under his blanket and blushed a fiery pink. “Oh, bollocks.”
Cisco snorted, covering it with a cough. “I’m glad you were able to get him into bed, Dean March.” Then, realizing what he said, he clapped a hand over his face. “I didn’t mean—"
“I enlisted Professor Glass’ and Professor Craster’s assistance.” Dean March allowed herself a small smirk. “Thankfully, no students were present at the time.”
“Small favors, I guess.” Red shuffled to sit up, careful to keep the blanket covering everything from his chest down. “Can I get some clothes? How long until class?”
“You’ll be excused for the day,” March said. “As will your friends. They will need to speak to our research team.” A refined eyebrow twitched. “You do realize that you are the first live werewolf specimen we’ve had access to?”
“You’re going to use me as a research project?” Red moaned. “Strike me down. I just want it fixed!”
“That may be easier said than done,” the dean admitted. Seeing his face fall, she added, “But I’m sure it can be done. It is simply a matter of sorting the variations of werewolf myths to identify the relevant cure.”
“Aye. Simple.” Red’s tone suggested he didn’t believe it for a minute.
“Perhaps.” The dean stepped back toward the door. “Someone will be here shortly to make notes on the events that led up to your…condition. I’d suggest you find some clothes before then.”
Red gave Cisco an anguished look. “Mate, could you please? I don’t want some old lady poking and prodding my bits while I’m in my birthday suit.”
A sly smile crept over Cisco’s face. “What’s it worth to you?”
“What?” Amelia socked him in the thigh. “Don’t even joke about that.”
“Ow.” Cisco held his hands up to ward off another blow. “All right! I’ll go get you some clothes. Just… don’t wolf out while I’m gone.”
“It’s not a full moon, you fool,” Red said in a withering tone. “Don’t you know anything about werewolves?”
“No… but I know you’re a natural redhead.” Cisco ignored Red’s outraged plea for an explanation, darting out of the infirmary and shutting the door behind him.
“What did he mean?” Red demanded. His eyes were locked on Amelia, suspiciously avoiding Penny.
“I can’t imagine,” Amelia said sweetly.
Red covered his face. “Don’t tell me half of Portland has seen me tallywhacker now.”
Penny couldn’t help but laugh. “No, Red, it’s ok. Well, I don’t know who saw what when you came back, but we didn’t see anything.”
Red frowned. “Then what did he mean, a ‘natural redhead?’”
“You turned into a wolf the color of a ginger tabby,” Penny explained.
“Hmph.” Red settled back under the blankets. “Well, at least we get a day off class.”
“It’s Monday,” Penny reminded him. “Weapons is one of my favorite subjects!”
“Oh.” His face fell, then brightened again with hope. “Did I at least teach that smarmy cat a lesson? I hope I stepped on its ugly tail. The wee prick was giving me the evil eye all through dinner.”
“No,” Amelia sighed. “And don’t even think about going back there. That poor waitress saw everything, and she’s probably checked herself into an institution by now.”
“Actually, she seemed to take it pretty well,” Penny admitted.
The girl had chased Cisco out with the handful of change he’d abandoned. After seeing the giant ginger wolf bound down the street, she’d simply gone back inside and yelled at the cat for “attracting the wrong type of customer.”
“Well, next time, I’m getting my dumplings to go.” Red sniffed but grinned when the infirmary door opened and Cisco stepped back in, bearing a pile of clothes and a belt. He also held up Red’s phone, which was chipped but otherwise intact.
“No! What happened to my phone?” Red cried, taking it off Cisco. He switched it on, the dim glow making him sag with relief.
“You dropped it when you turned.” Cisco shrugged. “I tossed the clothes since they were torn to shreds. I got your wallet and your phone, and I saved the four receipts, three old movie tickets, and a giant ball of lint you had hiding in your pocket.”
Red grinned. “My lucky lint!”
“Seriously?” Amelia looked at him flatly.
Red held his expression for a minute, then crumbled into laughter. “No. Don’t be disgusting. Who’d keep lint on purpose?”
Amelia turned for the door with an exasperated sigh. “Are you allowed to eat? Because you might have had some shut-eye, but we haven’t. I love you, but I need coffee.”
“I can go get it,” Penny said, jumping up. “Cisco, come with. You can help carry them back.”
“Can you get me a really, really big coffee?” Red clamored. “And some food. Gods, am I starving!”
Rolling her eyes, Penny gave him a thumbs up and headed for the dining hall, Cisco on her heels.
Once they were out of earshot, Penny slowed. “Cisco, is he gonna be ok?”
“Red’s tough,” he said. “He’ll get through this.”
“But, werewolfism?” Penny blew out an irritated breath. “There’s no easy cure.”
“We just need some wolf’s bane.” Cisco cocked his head to one side. “Where does that grow, anyway?”
“Cisco, it’s poisonous!” Penny walked quickly, letting Cisco jog to catch up. “It’s a cure, sure, but it could also kill him.”
“Really?” Cisco shook his head. “Damn. I’m sure there’s something, though. Werewolves have been around in mythology since, well, forever. Surely someone thought there was a cure?”
They’d studied were transformations briefly the previous semester, in Craster’s class.
What little Penny knew didn’t sound promising. “Werewolves are an old myth, Cisco. You’re right in that. However, unlike Vampires, they didn’t come with a whole lot of options for reversing the curse. Many of the old myths were clear that the only way to reverse the curse…”
Was in death.
Cisco got Penny’s meaning. “Yeah, well, letting Red die is not an option.”
“We just have to hope that whatever came through and bit him was a modern interpretation,” Penny said. “Movie Weres usually have a failsafe. Or they’re gentle, ripped hunks instead of evil child-killers. I wonder if Crenel has anything else?” She pulled out her phone and called him.
The phone rang out. Penny canceled the call before it hit voicemail. “Dammit!”
“Penny, think about it.” Cisco opened the dining hall door and stepped back to let her pass through. “Of all the people in the Academy, who do you think March called first? Who would jump at the chance to get his hands on a werewolf, but also want to take care of a student?”
“You mean he’s probably already on his way.” Penny sighed and nodded. If Crenel wasn’t answering, it was because he was already en route. She grabbed a tray and ducked her head to call out the Cook. “We need to take these back to the sickbay. Is that okay?”
“Of course!” Cook hurried over. “Just wait a quick minute, and I’ll have a fresh batch of waffles all ready to go.”
Penny leaned against the wall while she waited. It was still early, and the dining hall was almost empty. Yet somehow, Cook had already put out trays of bacon, sausages, and buttered mushrooms. A fresh pot of coffee sat on the counter, steaming gently.
Cisco poured himself a cup while they waited. “Want one?”
Penny nodded and took the fresh cup from him a minute later. “Ugh, I need this.”
“Me too.” Cisco blew across his cup, then took a sip, closing his eyes
with relief.
“Waffles! Here, take a tray and plenty of napkins. Here’s a mug of syrup, and don’t spill that in the infirmary, mind. Dean March will have my guts for garters!” Cook stacked a tray with platefuls of waffles, syrup, ice cream, and bacon.
Penny eyed it warily. “Bacon…and waffles?”
“No different from pancakes and bacon.” Cisco ignored Penny’s grimace. He filled two more coffee cups, popped plastic lids on them, and loaded them on the tray. He grabbed it and nodded to Penny. “You’ll have to get the door.”
Stifling a yawn, Penny led the way back upstairs. Agent Crenel was standing in the doorway and quickly moved to make room for Cisco and Penny. “Sorry I didn’t answer,” he murmured as Penny passed. “But I figured I’d see you soon enough.”
“Room service,” Cisco called.
Red was already up. At the sight of food, he grinned.
“You look… better.” Penny hadn’t realized how much of Red’s easy, relaxed nature had vanished in the last couple of weeks, not until it had returned. His eyes rested on Amelia rather than darting around nervously, and his posture was calm, not ready to pounce.
"I feel better." Red inhaled deeply. "Or at least I will when I get that in me. Is that bacon? I could eat six pigs, trotters and all."
"You're gonna get fat," Amelia warned. "Do you have any idea how much you've been eating since all this happened?"
"That's likely a side effect of the transformation." The woman who spoke paused at the door on her way in. "Good morning, Stuart. I take it this is our patient?"
"Red, I'd like you to meet Doctor Green. She is one of the top biomedical experts in the mythological field." Crenel leaned forward and shook the woman's hand. "It's good to see you, Sarah."
"Not as good as it is to see him." Sarah Green looked at Red with appraising eyes. "You look… Well, perfectly normal, to be honest. You say this all came about because of a scratch?”
“Yup.” Red nodded, though his eyes were locked on the tray of food. “When I was lifting the furry bastard, I got me hand caught on one of its big, dribbly fangs.”
“What?” Amelia’s fists clenched by her sides. “You scratched yourself on a tooth, and you didn’t think that was at all relevant?”
Green placed a gentle hand on Amelia’s arm. “It’s too late to change that,” she said. “Red, how do you feel now?"
"Hungry." Red eyes hadn't left the laden tray. Penny wondered if his white-knuckled grip on the mattress was nerves or an attempt to stop himself from attacking Cisco for the tray. "Come on, man. Are you just going to tease me with it?"
"Oh, sorry." Cisco set the tray down on a nearby table and passed Red a plate. Before he had gone back for some cutlery, his friend had half a waffle in his mouth, and three strips of bacon in one hand.
"That's good!" Red exclaimed, his mouth crammed with food.
"Red!" Amelia elbowed him, looking embarrassed on his behalf.
"Let him eat," Doctor Green said kindly. "Stuart is probably right. It's likely that the infection has altered his metabolism. The transformation likely needs a vast amount of energy so he's probably replenishing his depleted stores. Was his appetite unusually high prior to last night?"
Cisco snorted a laugh. "You could say that."
"It certainly doesn't seem to be having a negative effect." Doctor Green ran her eyes over Red’s naked torso. He had put his jeans on, but not a shirt.
"Eyes off my boyfriend, lady." Amelia gave the doctor a challenging glare.
"My interest is solely academic, I promise. As much as I'd like to take him home—for science—I don't think my wife would approve." Doctor Green grinned at Amelia, who blushed a bright shade of red.
"Sorry," Amelia mumbled.
Doctor Green patted her shoulder. "You were worried about him. It's perfectly understandable."
She perched on the bed next to Amelia. "Let's start from the very beginning. What happened the night Red was infected?"
Although Penny and her friends hadn't said a word, by the time Red returned to classes the next day, the students were buzzing with gossip about his condition.
"Hey, Red," Myra called as Penny followed him into Madera's class. "Need a scratch behind the ears, boy?"
Clive followed her comment with a mumbled remark about doing it doggy style.
Penny cringed, ready to grab Red if he reacted.
Instead, Red chuckled and let out a howl.
"Not in my class, thank you." Professor Madera strode in, gesturing for the students to sit.
Penny scrambled for a seat.
"Welcome back, Mr. O’Reilly. I hope you're feeling well after your ordeal the other night." The professor glared at the rest of the students. "I hope you will all realize that this is a very real affliction and treat it with the compassion it deserves."
"Come on, professor. I'm not dying. They’ll find a cure," Red said happily.
Penny wished she had his confidence. Or his ego. None of the teasing he had endured had taken it down by even a notch. She didn't think she'd be able to endure it half so well.
"Regardless, we have much to discuss today." Madera flicked on a projector, and the image of a website appeared on the whiteboard. The photo of a leprechaun sat next to the headline.
High Court Announces Landmark Case
Paddy O'Paddy, a mythological being residing in Portland, launches his application for legal personhood.
A grin broke over Professor Madera’s face. “Students, we are indeed entering a new age. If the applicant succeeds, it may overhaul the current definitions of a ‘natural person.’ That, in turn, may open the door for the entities crossing the veil to become legally recognized, to apply for citizenship, hold jobs and have equal rights as humans in our country.”
“Woohoo!” Red let out a whoop and half the class followed, bursting into excited cheers. Penny’s grin widened when she saw everyone in the room at least seemed happy at the revelation.
Everyone except Clive. He raised his hand, a pensive look on his face. “Miss? This is good news and all, but if things keep changing this fast, I’ve got no chance of passing my exams. I can barely keep the legal stuff straight as it is!”
Madera patted his shoulder. “The current state of affairs will certainly be taken into account at exam time, Clive. I’m not about to dock points for a student not being aware of some obscure law passed the night before the test is given.”
Clive looked relieved. “Thanks, Professor.”
Madera spent the lesson running over the apparent obstacles the case would face, the arguments the opposition would make, and the ramifications of the possible outcomes.
None of it dampened Penny’s joy, not the dry law textbook readings, the tedious research on prior personhood cases, not even the suggestion that Madera might set a lengthy assignment on the topic.
Sensing Penny’s excitement, Boots slithered up to her lap and forced her way up between Penny’s belly and the edge of the desk. The serpent lifted her head until it was level with Penny’s nose.
“Settle down,” Penny whispered. “Or you’ll get kicked out. But, Boots, do you know what this means?”
Boots swayed her head left to right.
“It means you’ll be recognized by the government!” Penny kept her voice low, but Madera had her head down as she rifled through the heavy legal tome on her desk. “It means you’ll have rights and protections. You’ll be safe from people like those nuts that were protesting last year.”
She ignored a twinge of guilt at those words. Boots wouldn’t truly be safe. Laws could be broken, and for now, it seemed America and Sweden were the only countries passing them. But it was a damn sight more than she had now. If America led the way, Australia would likely follow, and legal protection would dissuade at least some of the dissenters out there.
Boots licked Penny’s chin, but when Madera turned around to address the class, Penny shoved her head back under the table.
“It’s all right, Penny.” Mader
a nodded to the stubborn Boots, whose head had popped up again. “I expect she’ll be interested in the news, too. Just don’t disturb my class, please, dear?” The last words were addressed to the serpent, who gave the professor a happy, bouncing nod. “Thank you. Now, who can give me an example of how corporate personhood might affect the current proceedings?”
Kathy raised her hand but Penny missed her answer, distracted by a cough and a flutter of paper touching the back of her neck. She reached back and grabbed the note from Amelia.
Wanna hit Paddy’s on Friday night to celebrate?
Penny put her fist on her shoulder and flicked Amelia a quick thumbs up. Then, she scrawled a word on the scrap of paper before passing it back. Gift?
The returning note simply said, Great idea! Penny tucked it in her pocket and tried to pull her mind back to the lecture, which had moved on to the expected sequence of events as the case unfolded.
“Listen up, Boots. This could be the best thing that ever happened to the Myther community.”
Penny had expected Paddy to be in a celebratory mood. She didn’t expect that the whole bar would be decorated to acknowledge the court case, or that it would be busting at the seams with Mythers.
“Aye! It’s ma wee human friends! Aye Boots, I didn’t forget ye. Come in, come in, ye two-legged bastards!” Paddy ushered them through the door, which was strung with a curtain of shimmering, plastic strips. Inside, a cheap disco ball threw rainbows of light on the walls, giving Penny an immediate headache.
Paddy waved at a nearby faun. “Alf! Get ye cloven trotters over to the bar and grab a few pints for these young ‘uns, will ye?”
Alf disappeared, lost in a cluster of toga-clad men and women, two green-faced, hook-nosed witches, and a large black creature with sad eyes and crooked fingers.
“Who’s that?” Penny jutted her chin at the monster, unwilling to draw its attention.
“It’s the monster under yer bed,” Paddy said in a low voice. “Poor bugger. Says he just wants to be friends, but everyone screams and runs away.”