by Amy Hopkins
“But I’m a vegetarian!” He threw the cutlery down in disgust. “Fruit isn’t a vegetable! I demand to see the manager!”
Penny sighed and motioned for Nat, the shift manager, to come over. “He’s all yours,” she said, giving the girl a sympathetic grimace.
“Gnorman, I’ve told you, fruit comes from plants. You’re allowed to eat it!” Nat folded her arms, staring down her angry customer.
“Oh. Really?” He wrinkled his nose and sniffed the offending bit of food. “Isn’t fruit usually…plumper?”
“It’s dried,” Nat explained.
She has the patience of a saint. Penny moved away, heading over to the bar where Paddy was chatting to Vila, Uriel, and the ghost of a little girl who apparently didn’t have a name.
“And then,” the girl was saying, her eyes large in her pale face, “she started burning sage. Can you believe it? That house was my home first, not hers!”
“Ye always have a home here, lass.” Paddy slid a mug of ale toward the girl. She picked it up and sipped, screwing her face up.
“Paddy!” Penny grabbed his shoulder and hissed in his ear. “Mate, you just gave alcohol to a nine-year-old. Don’t you know that’s against the law?”
“She’s a hundred and thirty-two,” Paddy said, grinning. “Just because she’s been dead for over a hundred of those years, it doesn’t mean they don’t count.”
“Oh.” Penny eyed the girl warily. “Well, regardless, if an inspector comes by, you might be in trouble.”
“Aye, but if they call her a girl, they’ll be sayin’ she’s human.” Paddy cackled. “They’d be provin’ me point without any effort on me own part!”
“And possibly get the bar shut down,” Penny pointed out.
“Oh.” Paddy’s elation vanished, and he plucked the frothy beverage out of the little ghost’s hands. “Maybe another time, lass.”
“That doesn’t seem fair.” The child pouted but quickly cheered when Paddy leaned over the bar and snatched up a bowl of pretzels for her. “Yummy. I love those!”
Penny slid onto a barstool next to Paddy. “I’m on break,” she informed the leprechaun. “Don’t start any trouble for the next fifteen, okay?”
“Me? Trouble?” Paddy’s overplayed innocence didn’t fool Penny for a moment. “Ah, fine. I’ll just sit here and mind me own business. Only for a wee while, mind. Paddy can’t be loungin’ around for too long.” He tossed a peanut in the air and caught it in his mouth, almost tumbling off his stool in the process.
“Good.” Penny slid a photo toward the leprechaun.
He glanced down at it and shook his head. “I told ye, lass. I haven’t seen the bastard since that day I met ye.”
“Who is he?” Vila asked. She leaned over Paddy’s shoulder to look. Then, in the blink of an eye, she shifted into her snake form. Black, glittering eyes examined the picture as a forked tongue flicked toward it. “Why do you ssseek him?”
“He’s a guy who wants to summon some really bad shit,” Penny explained. “He’s trying to bring over Mythers who want to destroy the world. Paddy, I know you haven’t seen him, but could you at least ask around for me? I haven’t had any luck.”
Paddy grimaced uncertainly, then looked at Vila.
Penny glanced at the shifter woman, only to find the snake was now a wolf.
“Get ye filthy paws off me bar, Vila!” Paddy snapped. “It’s not a zoo.”
Ignoring the leprechaun, Vila lifted her head. “Give me something of his. I will help you find him.”
The wolf spoke in a low growl without moving her lips, but Penny understood the words perfectly.
“I don’t have anything on me,” she admitted. “But I can ask around. Will you be here tomorrow morning?”
The wolf ducked her head in a nod. “I will not capture this creature you seek. His blood on my teeth would undo what our kind have worked so hard for. Even seeking him out may make me anathema to others. But…I will find him for you.”
“Thank you.” Penny’s chest tightened. She knew what Vila was risking to help her. Hunting a human could be interpreted as violating the alliance.
The wolf turned a tight circle on the bar and walked the length of it, claws tapping. When she reached the end, a graceful leap to the ground ended in her transformation back to the form of a slender woman in a simple white dress. She didn’t look back, simply pushed the door open and stepped out into the cold streets of Portland.
“Hang on a hot minute.” Penny frowned. “She just morphed into a human with a dress.”
“Of course.” The little ghost girl gave Penny a confused expression. “She is a god-shifter. She may choose her clothes and skin at any time.”
“But she stripped down to give Red his lesson in shapeshifting. I thought that was because she had to.”
“Strange one, that Vila.” Paddy sipped his ale, then licked the frothy white mustache it left on his lip. “A bit of an exhibitionist, if ye haven’t noticed.” He picked up Tobias’s picture and slipped it in his pocket with a sigh. “Fine. I’ll ask around about ye wee villainous scumbag. But ye’ll owe me!”
“Thanks, Paddy.” Penny checked her watch. “Guess I’d better get back to it. You may resume your troublemaking, leprechaun.”
“May I also?” The little ghost beamed Penny a hopeful look.
Penny waved her off with a grin. “Sure, kid. Just don’t make me salt you.”
With a gleeful howl, the girl drifted to the ceiling and swooped a circle, moaning as she flew. “IIIIII am the ghooooost of Grace Mannnnoooorrrrr!” The spooky effect was somewhat marred by her occasional bursts of giggles. “IIII am heeeere to kiiiilllll yoooouuuuuu.”
“And no killing!” Penny called to the mischievous spirit, who came to a halt with a child-like pout.
“Not even a little bit?” she asked.
“No!” Hiding her smile, Penny shook her head and went back to work.
Chapter Sixteen
Vila was indeed waiting for Penny the next morning. When Penny approached, the maiden’s face fell.
“You did not find anything with his scent?”
Penny held out a scrap of paper. “I don’t know. This was all I could get.” It was a sheet torn from one of the copied versions of the Book of Thoth. Crenel had refused to let her access the original. “I’m not even sure he touched it, to be honest. This belonged to a girl he knew.”
Vila plucked it from Penny’s hand and ran it beneath her nose, inhaling deeply. “A girl, yes. Strong-minded. Broken once, but remade into iron.”
Penny nodded. That described Felicity perfectly. “It’s a bust, then?”
Vila inhaled again. “Perhaps not. I sense another. One full of hate and hated by the first. Did this girl wish your target to be ground into the dirt like the husk of a long-dead insect?” She asked the question as if she were asking about the color of shoes Tobias might be wearing.
“Uhh…yes. Or worse,” Penny admitted.
Vila smiled and tucked the slip of paper beneath the bodice of her dress. Before the motion finished, she was back in her wolf form. “Wait.”
The wolf tipped her nose up, gave a tentative sniff, and bounded down the street.
“Okay, then.” Penny pushed the bar door open. The bar wasn’t open yet, but she had spotted Paddy inside, nursing a drink at a table across from Joshua.
“I just don’t understand,” Paddy moaned. “Ye’re givin’ away our hard-earned coin!”
“My hard-earned coin, you talkative gherkin.” Joshua didn’t look up as he spoke, simply continued to tap on his laptop. “My staff work a damn-sight harder than you do. Wages are their hard-earned coin.”
“You’re not trying to stiff me outta my pay are you, Paddy?” Penny was already familiar with the leprechaun’s whine about paying the bar staff. She didn’t think it was malicious. The salty Myther really did seem to think money fell from trees, and that the workers could easily survive without being paid.
“Me pot grows smaller every day
,” he said dramatically. “Any more of this overtime nonsense and I’ll run out of rainbows.”
“That’s bullshit, Paddy,” Joshua said in a bored tone. “Your net worth is seventy-nine million. You’re not running out of anything. Not even you could burn through that much on a weekend of hookers and blow.”
“Seventy-what-now?” Penny’s eyes nearly fell out of her head.
Joshua looked up. “Honestly, I’m not sure. It’s solid gold, though. Seeing as I keep him fed, drunk, and out of the weather, it’s not as if his expenses are unusually high. In fact, I’ve never seen him do more with his coin than show it off or toss it at homeless people. Well, people he thinks are homeless.”
“Don’t tell me that charming young lad with the ukulele wasn’t in need of a good turn!” Paddy exclaimed. “Poor thing was wastin’ away!”
Joshua rolled his eyes and leaned over to whisper to Penny. “He went to an Ed Sheeran concert and thought the kid was homeless and busking. On stage, in a sold-out theatre. With pyrotechnics!”
Penny covered her laugh with a hand.
“What brings you in this morning?” Joshua asked, finally folding away his laptop. “And do you want some coffee?”
“I can grab it,” Penny said. She’d left the Academy without stopping by the dining hall. “Vila is doing me a favor. She said to wait here until she’s done. I have no idea how long that will be.”
“I’ll do the coffee. No offense, but yours taste like wet goat.” Joshua slid his chair back and went to the coffee machine. He expertly pulled two espressos and brought them back, along with a glass of whiskey for Paddy.
Penny accepted hers gratefully. She knew her coffee skills were… Lacking would be an understatement. Joshua had, however, made sure she knew her other skills were appreciated.
They chatted aimlessly until Joshua finished his bookkeeping and excused himself, leaving Paddy and Penny alone.
Paddy slid Tobias’s picture across the table, returning it to Penny. “Sorry, lass. No one has seen him in person. I asked around the beach, though.” He twiddled his whiskers for a moment before continuing, “Lass, things are brewin’ out there. There was the wolf, aye, but somethin’ else is makin’ trouble. Enough trouble that a few of the friendlies in the region are movin’ on. They don’t wish to be associated with whatever is out there.”
He scowled at Penny. “Are ye sure ye need to find the lad? If it’s him causin’ the ruckus out there, he could be summonin’ the devil himself.”
“Which is exactly why I need to find Tobias and stop him.” Penny snatched the picture back. “I appreciate the warning, Paddy, but we can’t just let him run loose. There’s a whole community out there at risk. Do you think the government will support Mythers if Tobias keeps pulling crazy shit?”
“It’s not as simple as that,” Paddy said. “If some brave and handsome individual like meself goes out there and puts a stop to his shenanigans, that’s another Myther killin’ a human. If a hero who happens to look like one of them Greek gods, even though he’s naught but a wee leprechaun, goes and puts down the creature he’s summoned, that’s Myther against Myther. That puts me alliance at risk, lass.”
“I’m not asking any extraordinarily good-looking leprechauns to do either of those things,” Penny pointed out, humoring the little green creature’s high opinion of himself. “I just need a little information, that’s all. So that I, a human, working for an agency that protects humans, can protect humans and Mythers alike.” She didn’t mention that Crenel had given her absolutely zero authority to hunt down Tobias or his new pet.
Paddy shrugged. “Like I said, I don’t have any real information to go on. Just be careful, lass. I like havin’ ye around.”
Penny’s heart swelled. Paddy wasn’t one for compliments, and his words rang true. Before she could respond, though, something clattered against the glass window next to them.
“Oh, for… Ye stupid pigeon!” Paddy shook his fist, yelling at the dazed bird hopping in circles on the pavement outside. “I told ye, messages go through the door, ye blind disease-carrier.”
The bird shook its head, then flapped into the air. It rounded the corner and slammed into the closed door of the bar, landing on the ground again.
“Ah, shit.” Paddy stomped over and opened it, scooping the bird up with one hand and bringing it to the table.
Coo. The pigeon tilted its head and hopped to its feet. It stalked toward Penny, then dug under one wing with its beak, and pulled out a tiny scroll.
“That’s new.” Penny took the paper carefully, stroking the pigeon’s head before pulling her arm back. “You ok, buddy? You gotta be more careful around windows, mate.”
The bird nuzzled her hand, then made its way toward Paddy in awkward hopping steps. It perched on his whiskey glass and shat in it, then flew away, back out the open door.
“YE MITE-BITTEN BAG OF SNAKE FOOD!” Paddy slammed his fist on the table and looked into his glass morosely. “Next time it flies this way, I’ll catch it and give it to Boots as a gift. What a wee prick.”
Ignoring him, Penny unfurled the tiny message. It folded out into a map the size of her palm, drawn in black ink. It showed the beach where the bonfire had been hosted, the trail through the woods, and the altar. Beyond it, marked on the edge of the mountain, was an X inside a narrow, upside-down V. In the bottom corner, Vila’s name was signed.
“She found him!” Penny’s eyes lit up. “I can’t believe it!”
“What do you mean, four days?” Penny leaned over Crenel’s desk, resisting the urge to punch it. “Do you know what Vila did to get that for you?”
“Believe me, I’m as pissed as you are.” Crenel removed his glasses to rub his face. “We’re just stretched thin right now.”
“Then let us go!” Penny rounded back to her first response. But, even after forty minutes of arguing, Crenel wasn’t having it.
“Not this time.” Crenel slid his glasses back on. “Listen, kid, it’s just too—"
Someone thumped on Crenel’s door, not waiting for his response before throwing it open. Amelia burst in, hair wild, eyes rimmed with red. “Penny? There you are, I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” She sucked in a shaky breath. “Red’s gone.”
Cisco stepped in behind her, face grim.
Penny pulled her friend into the room and grabbed her shoulders. “What? What do you mean, gone?”
“He’s gone!” Amelia yanked her phone out and pressed a couple of buttons. The buzz of a phone rang out on speaker, then the robotic voice of her voicemail service.
You have…one…saved message. Message received… today… ten-twenty-seven AM.
It beeped and Red’s voice spoke, excitement thickening his accent. “I found it, sweet pea! It was in the cookie. I just have to go back to where it happened! I can cure it!” A car honked in the background as Penny listened, fear chilling her to the bones. “It’s a long drive and tonight’s the full moon, but I’ll be back in the mornin’, you’ll see. And then I’ll—" Amelia clicked the message off.
“What did the rest of it say?” Crenel demanded.
“Uhh, that bit wasn’t fit for anyone else’s ears.” Amelia blushed. “Look, Red has gone on some stupid quest to cure himself, but he’s going to wolf out as soon as the sun is down!”
“What cookie was he talking about?” Penny asked, mystified.
“He’s gone back to that Chinese place a few times,” Cisco suggested. “He’s really got a vendetta against that cat. That, or he really likes the Kung-pow. Maybe he picked up an actual, real fortune cookie?”
“Any ideas?” Penny asked Amelia.
Amelia shrugged. “Damned if I know. But he said he’s going back. Back where? Not to that stupid beach, I hope. I was cleaning sand out of my—"
“Oh, shit!” Penny grabbed Crenel’s arm. “Please tell me you can get people there.”
Crenel stared back, head slowly shaking. “I…can’t. They didn’t tell me what’s going on, but our agents are
working on something big. There’s no one.”
“No one but us.” Penny dropped his wrist. “You can’t keep us here. Not if Red is in danger.”
“Are you sure that’s where he’s gone?” Crenel was already grabbing forms out of the stack of papers on his desk.
“He took his bedroll,” Cisco confirmed.
“You’ll need the big weapons bag. Audio and infra-red equipment, and anything else that might help you find him up in the hills.” Crenel jotted down notes on the acquisition paperwork as he spoke. Without looking at it, he slid the tiny map back toward Penny, and she grabbed it. “Anything else?”
Penny bit her lip and sucked a breath in. “How about an Army tank?”
Chapter Seventeen
Crenel couldn’t get them an Army tank, but he got the next best thing. He tossed the keys of Mack’s Jeep to Penny. “This will get you there safely. I’ll help Cisco load up. Do you have everything?”
Penny glanced at the stacked crates and piled bags. She and Amelia had thrown clothes, weapons, and supplies together almost without thought. “The only thing we’re missing is the kitchen sink.” She gave him a brave smile and was rewarded with a proud grin in return.
“I’ll be about fifteen minutes behind you.” Crenel pointed to his Cadillac. “I’m doing my best to get us backup, so your first priority is to stay safe, okay?”
Penny nodded, elbowing a glowering Amelia. “Thank you, Crenel.” Penny grabbed Amelia’s arm. “It’s a long drive. Let’s grab coffee while the boys pack the car.”
Amelia followed reluctantly. “If he thinks I’ll stand by and let Red get hurt…”
“He doesn’t think that at all,” Penny reassured her. “But it’s good to know we might have help.”
“That depends on your definition of help.” Amelia stopped mid-stride, pulling Penny back to look at her. “Penny, what if they treat Red as a threat?”
Amelia’s reluctance to let Crenel get involved suddenly made sense. Penny grabbed her friend’s shoulders. “Listen to me. Crenel is a friend. He’s not going to let Red get hurt.” She allowed herself a small smirk. “Besides, do you think March would ever let him get away with it?”