Contents
Title Page
A note from the author
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Preview: Love in the City (The Many Shades of Blu, Book 2)
Preview: The Bride Tribe
Preview: Summer in Diamond Bay (a cozy mystery series)
Preview: Single Wide Female
Other Titles
Legal Notice
Many Shades of Blu
(Book 1)
Ex in the City
By
Lillianna Blake
Copyright © 2018 Lillianna Blake
Cover design by Beetiful Book Covers
All rights reserved.
LilliannaBlake.com
Dear Reader,
These books are written for every woman out there who has struggled with their weight, self-esteem and any number of issues that we all face as we work to become the best versions of ourselves that we can be.
They are meant to be light-hearted and fun, but I do hope that they will inspire you—to REALLY live your life to the fullest, loving yourself completely as you do so.
If you enjoy the “Many Shades of Blu” series, be sure to check out “The Bride Tribe” series and you might also like Samantha and the “Single Wide Female” series. You can read previews and at the end of this book.
If you’ve enjoyed Ex in the City, I’d appreciate it if you would take a moment to leave an honest review here:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07B47HKPM
Enjoy!
Sincerely,
Lillianna
Chapter 1
I looked around the cafe as I tried to calm my nerves. It wasn’t Common Grounds, but it was certainly nice enough, with inspirational decor and an assortment of coffee treats to choose from. It was a place that could possibly grow on me as a regular hangout—if I’d let it. It was the absence of my friends that made it feel so different.
The summer had been such a magical time as I’d worked together with my best childhood friend, Hanna, and her friends—now my friends too—to plan her wedding. I smiled as the memories and faces passed through my mind—Hanna, Dawn, Zoe, Noella—her bride tribe, Hanna had called us. Along with Alex—owner of Common Grounds—and Samantha Bradford—my new favorite inspirational author—we’d been an unstoppable force of women! After spending the summer together, I think we’d all had the same experience of finding the motivation and determination to go forward in our lives with as much authenticity as possible.
I took a sip of my coffee and checked the time on my phone. AJ was running a little late, but I didn’t mind. I could use the extra time to gather my thoughts about everything.
Returning to New York City after the whirlwind of the wedding had been a big transition. Though the Nickels—the family that I nannied for—felt like a second family to me, it was still hard to leave my friends behind, especially Hanna.
Over the past few months, since I’d been back home, my life had been in a bit of turmoil, turned upside down by my determination to be authentic in my own journey. However, I’d discovered that authenticity didn’t come easily—or painlessly—or clearly.
The main source of my confusion? A man that had become such a crucial part of my life. AJ had been more than romance to me. He was my comfort, my confidant, my best advisor.
Our relationship had started out as friends in the small beach town of Diamond Bay. And truthfully, I think in the beginning we’d driven one another slightly crazy at times—what with all the crazy mysteries and plot twists going on around there. I couldn’t help giggling a little as I thought back to what I now dubbed my Nancy Drew summer. It had been an exciting time, to say the least.
Later, after we’d admitted our mutual attraction and both left the small town for the big city, our relationship become a fairy tale come true for me—with sparks flying and a connection that made me certain there would never be anyone else for me. For some time, I’d felt like the luckiest woman that had ever lived.
I cringed as I stirred my coffee and stared down into the pattern it created. Nothing was ever that simple. For as powerful as our love was, it didn’t change the fact that I just wasn’t ready.
AJ had become the most important thing in my world, and I’d had to realize that I had lost myself along the way. After being away for the summer, I’d come back even more convinced that the only way to figure out the truth about what I wanted in life was to break things off with AJ—at least the romantic things.
There was a part of me that seemed to gravitate toward pleasing the person I was with over my own needs and desires. Until I could fix that, I was sure that any relationship would swallow me whole.
AJ had struggled to understand my feelings, but he had respected my wishes, and for the most part, we’d been doing a pretty good job of avoiding one another. We’d left things on good but final terms the last time we’d talked, and I had no idea how seeing him again would affect me. When I’d received his call that he wanted to meet with me, I wasn’t sure what to expect. That nervousness still buzzed through me as I looked again at the time on my phone.
The front door of the coffee shop opened and my heart slammed against my chest. There he was, just as handsome as ever. As my heart fell back into rhythm, he walked toward me. I could sense the tension in him, his lips tight around the edges and his shoulders held about an inch higher than usual.
He was easy to read, maybe because I’d made it my business to study him.
“Hi, AJ.” I looked up at him as he paused beside the table.
For a second, I considered standing up to greet him, but I knew what that would lead to—a hug. We were still friends, after all—if not best friends—and he hadn’t seen me in a few weeks. It would be strange if I refused the contact, but it would be stranger still, if I had to endure it—with no idea how my body or mind would react.
“Blu, it’s good to see you.” He smiled as he surveyed me.
I could feel his eyes coasting across my faded summer tan and the highlights that had come up in my hair. Could he read me as easily as I could him? I hoped not.
“You too.” I smiled as he sat down across from me, but my lips trembled a little.
“Thanks for meeting with me.” He lifted one shoulder in a mild shrug. “I know this is a little awkward.”
“But I don’t want it to be.” I rested one hand on the table, resisting the natural urge to reach out for his. “I wish we could skip past this part and just get back to our friendship.”
“As far as I’m concerned, that’s where we are.” He met my eyes. “You’re the one that hasn’t called or texted.”
“Well, I just wanted to give us both some time to settle into this.”
“We had the whole summer, right?” He raised an eyebrow. “I miss you, Blu. I want to be able to pick up the phone and call you whenever something great or terrible or hilarious happens in my life.”
“Then d
o.” I smiled. “Because I’d love to hear about it. I guess—I just wasn’t sure how to reconnect.”
“Blu, when I said I loved you, that was a permanent thing. I get it. You’ve made it clear that you want your freedom. Fine, I’m not going to stand in your way, but that doesn’t mean I’ll ever stop loving you. I’ll be as much a part of your life, or as little a part of your life, as you want. Whatever you decide, but when you need me or want me, I will always be right here for you—boyfriend, friend, whatever. Understand?”
“Got it.” Relief flooded through me. There it was—that familiar comfort of being close to him. And even though it still seemed to be spiked with sharp desire any time he touched me, I thought I’d be able to push that away—eventually.
“Now, I have some exciting news.” He looked into my eyes and I could see the eagerness on his face. “Are you ready to hear it?”
“Sure am.” I grinned and sat back in my chair.
Chapter 2
For a second, I braced myself for the possibility that AJ might have a new idea about why we needed to get back together. Or what if he thought a proposal would change my mind? Before my imagination had a chance to go too wild, he began to speak.
“It was hard for me to sell the bar in Diamond Bay—you know that.”
“Yes.” A wave of guilt rushed through me. I knew that a big part of the reason he’d decided to sell the Beach Bum was so that he could move to New York to be closer to me.
He grinned—that wide perfect smile that I’d grown to love.
“So, I decided to open a new bar. I’ve been working on it all summer.”
“What?” My eyes widened. “And you never told me?” I slapped his forearm and laughed. “How could you keep it a secret?”
“You were busy with Hanna’s wedding. And I wasn’t sure if it was going to work out. Then I met someone who offered to help me get the right connections and—well, the opening is this Friday night.”
“Congratulations, AJ! That is so amazing!” I clapped my hands and could barely stay in my seat. “I can’t wait to see it.”
“Great, because I want you to be there for the opening.” His smile faded some. “But there’s something else you should know.”
“Of course I’ll be there. I’ll bring Maddie too. Wait. What?” I blinked as I noticed his expression change. “What is it?”
“This friend that helped me with the connections—we’ve gotten close over the past couple of months, and—well…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m not sure how to say this, but we’ve been seeing each other. It’s not going to bother you, is it? To see us together?”
I stared across the table at him, with a mixture of emotions pumping through me. The very thought of AJ being with someone else made me feel desperate for air. He’d been such a big part of my life, even if I was certain that my romance with him was one of the things that had been holding me back.
“Of course not, AJ.” The words left my lips, though I didn’t recognize my own voice. “I’m happy for you.”
“You are?” His eyes darkened some.
“Sure. You’re an amazing man and you deserve to be with someone fantastic—someone who can make you happy.” I looked down. “She’d just better watch out if she does anything to hurt you.” I forced a smile to my lips.
“Oh? Are you going to take her down?” He quirked a brow as his smile returned.
“Let’s just say that I can be overprotective when it comes to my friends.” I winked at him. That’s it. Just keep that smile on your lips. Don’t think about what he’s been doing with his. Don’t wonder what she looks like or how much fun she is or how many ways she’s probably so much better than you.
“Well, you don’t need to worry about that. She’s a very sweet person. Like I said, she helped me out a lot and I think you two could actually be friends. I mean, I know that would take some time. Anyway, I didn’t want you to be surprised when you saw us together.”
“What did you think would happen? I might knock her out and drag you back to my place?” I forced a laugh as I looked into his eyes.
Emotion flickered through his gaze, though I wasn’t sure what exactly he felt.
“Maybe.” He cleared his throat. “Anyway, the opening is at eight. I’ll make sure that you and Maddie are on the list. Anyone else I should add?” He looked straight into my eyes as he waited for my answer.
“Nope, that’s it.”
My neck felt hot as I realized he wanted to know if I’d been seeing anyone. No, I’d been focused on trying to be authentic, while my soulmate fell in love with someone new.
How could I be such an idiot? Maybe a part of me had expected him to wait for me, which of course, was ridiculous. AJ was a great guy inside and out. Of course someone else would snap him up.
My stomach churned at the thought of being friends with his new flame. Would I have to sit next to them as they shared private jokes? As they kissed?
I looked at the time on my phone. “Oh wow, I didn’t realize how late it was. I have to run to pick Marley up from school.” I stood up from the table. “I’m sorry, AJ, maybe we can actually drink some coffee next time.”
“Maybe.” He laughed.
My heart sank as I realized there probably wouldn’t be a next time. Would his girlfriend really want him meeting up for coffee with his ex? I doubted it.
“Blu, wait.” He caught my hand by the wrist.
The moment he touched me, a ripple of desire made my legs grow weak.
“Hm?” I glanced over my shoulder to meet his eyes.
“You’re going to be there Friday, right?” He held my gaze.
“Yes, of course I’ll be there. I wouldn’t miss it for anything. I’m so proud of you, AJ. I’m sure you’ll do great.”
“Thanks.” He released my hand. “See you then.”
“See you.” I smiled, then walked toward the door. I had to restrain myself from breaking into a run.
As soon as I was out the door, I breathed a sigh of relief. My head still spun as the car rolled up in front of me.
Oliver peered at me with a knowing smile. He was about ten years older than me and had been the Nickels’s driver for quite some time. He’d seen me nervously perched in the back seat before I met with AJ, and now I was sure he could tell that my mood had changed.
He didn’t say much as we drove toward Marley’s school, and I appreciated that.
My thoughts lingered on AJ. It really wasn’t that I’d expected him to wait, or that I wanted him back, it was that I had no idea how much it would shock me to think of him with someone new.
After I blinked back a few tears, I put on a bright smile for Marley.
It was going to be fine, just fine.
Chapter 3
After I picked Marley up from school, I asked Oliver to head to our favorite lunch spot. It was a kid-friendly cafe with a playground and lively music. Marley loved to play and dance, and it gave me the chance to catch up with my best friend, Maddie.
As we settled at a table, I spotted Maddie and her young charge, Nathan. As usual, he bolted away from her.
“Nathan! Slow down!” Maddie rolled her eyes and chased after him.
I jumped up from the table and caught him around the waist as he ran past me.
“Slow down there, cowboy.” I adjusted the cowboy hat on his head. “Don’t you want to play with Marley?” I grinned at him.
“Marley!” He charged off toward the playground, where Marley waited at the top of a slide.
She waved to him with a smile.
“Oh goodness, thanks, Blu.” Maddie flopped down in a chair and closed her eyes. “From the moment he wakes up, it’s like he’s on fast forward.”
“It’s the age.” I shrugged. “Give him a few months and he’ll slow down a little. But that’s when you really have to start to worry.”
“Huh?” She opened her eyes and looked at me. “What do you mean?”
“Once they slow down, they start to plan.” I lau
ghed. “Then you’re going to miss just having to worry about chasing him—when he starts getting into all kinds of mischief.”
“Ugh.” She closed her eyes again. “Maybe I should just get a job folding shirts somewhere.”
“No, don’t say that. Then we wouldn’t be able to see each other all the time. Plus, the rewards make all the hard work worth it.”
“Rewards? What rewards?” She sat forward in her chair. “I’m barely holding onto this job.”
“You’re doing just fine. Mrs. Carlisle has spoken to Marley’s mom about how much she enjoys you as their nanny. Just relax. Oh, and here comes the reward.” I smiled as Nathan ran up to Maddie, hugged her, then ran off again.
“Okay, yes, that is kind of nice.” Maddie laughed. “So how did things go this morning? Weren’t you meeting with AJ?”
“Honestly, I have no idea how to explain my feelings about our meeting.” My heart sank again as I thought about it. “He had some exciting news, though. He’s opening a new bar this Friday night. He’d like us both to be there.”
“Bull! He wants you to be there.” She laughed. “I’m just the sidekick.”
“I don’t know about that.” I exhaled. “He’s got a girlfriend.”
“What?” She gasped. “Since when?”
“I’m not sure exactly, and maybe it’s not fair to call her his girlfriend just yet. I mean, he didn’t call her that, but I think it must have started up shortly after we last saw one another—several weeks ago. She helped him get the bar open. He likes her. He wanted me to know about her before the opening.” I closed my eyes and shook my head. “I know I should be happy for him, but I just…”
“It’s alright, Blu. I mean, it was bound to happen eventually, but that doesn’t make it any easier when it does.”
Ex in the City (Many Shades of Blu #1) Page 1