by Quil Carter
Sasha cocked an eyebrow when he saw the two of them standing in front of the aisle he’d just exited, giving Sasha such a look it was as if he’d had sprouted wings and teeth.
“What?” Sasha said with a blink. He even looked behind him to see if perhaps they were seeing something strange past him.
“You…” Lex said slowly. He began to walk to Sasha, his eyes never leaving Sasha’s face. “You’re here and you’re absolutely fine.”
Sasha continued his blank stare, before it clicked inside of his head just what Jobe and Lex were talking about.
The anxiety was gone; it was completely gone. There wasn’t an ounce of fear inside of him.
“Yeah,” Sasha said shyly as Jobe and Lex approached. “It’s, ah, neat, right?”
“Neat?” Jobe exclaimed, a smile spread across his face. “You’re not walking around with your head lowered and your muscles rock. What… how? When did this happen?”
Sasha shrugged his shoulders. The answer was obvious, the answer was Kheva, but he still didn’t… he just didn’t want to talk about him. “Training,” Sasha said. “Just… I – I don’t really know. I was just…”
I was broken down and built up at the same time. I was humiliated, abused, tormented, and tortured, but while I was suffering under Kheva’s boot, he was also building me up to be something greater than the husk of a man I was before.
Kheva saved me, guys.
But I can’t tell you that. I know I can’t tell you that, you wouldn’t understand. You’d judge me, hate me, tell me I was brainwashed or something. But I wasn’t.
“What – what the fuck happened there, Sash?” Lex asked quietly. “You’ve got us pretty damn confused.”
Sasha’s eyes shot to Lex, before deflecting. “I’m not talking about that,” he said hurriedly, and with a creeping feeling of discomfort making itself known, he walked away from the two of them and towards the junk food aisle.
Jobe and Lex said nothing more, but it was that silence that had Sasha the most worried. He knew they had a thousand thoughts and opinions between the two of them, ones they were undoubtedly going to share later. It had been made clear that they’d leaned on each other while Sasha was gone, but Sasha hadn’t yet explored just exactly what that meant. He just wanted to be home for a while, and he wanted to take care of Kel.
Sasha bought Pop Tarts, Dunkaroos, fruit snacks, a bag of Zesty Doritos, and a bottle of Diet Dr. Pepper for Kel, and like he’d promised his friend, his family member, he picked up some KFC chicken, fries, and gravy for him too. Jobe and Lex remained rather quiet through this, they made the occasional comment and small talk, but for the most part, it was their confused body language that did the most talking.
They were seeing a side of Sasha they never knew existed. They’d lost a fucked up, masochistic kid with crazed delusions, and in return… they’d gotten someone with confidence, a relatively sound mind (in a matter of speaking) who was in the middle of taking control of a bad situation.
Sasha didn’t have much pity for their confusion. He was happy with who he was now. It was a side of his personality that he’d never been able to exercise at Ciel Lake, where he was always under the ever-attentive eye of Kheva. The fact of the matter was, Sasha himself was impressed with his own progress, and he liked catching Jobe and Lex off-guard.
“Knock, knock?” Sasha said as he lightly rapped on the hospital door. “Is this the hospital room of a Mr. Keluva Swift?” Sasha didn’t know what Lex was going to do about Kel’s lack of identification, as long as the name Rob didn’t enter the equation, Lex could do whatever he wanted. There would be nothing more confusing and upsetting then the doctors calling Kel by a name that seemed to be a huge trigger.
“Yes!”
Sasha smiled at the excitement behind Kel’s voice. He pushed the door open with his elbow, one arm cradling a bucket of chicken and the other the rest of the junk food, and walked in.
“Sasha!” Kel exclaimed happily. He was lying in the hospital bed, his left eye still blood shot and his right heavily bruised, but his arm was in a cast, and even though it was covered in a dark green blanket, his leg looked casted too. “You came back!”
Sasha laughed and sat the food down on the table beside Kel’s hospital bed. He was inside of a nice private room, the sun shining through open blinds and the television turned on. It looked like he was set up to an IV drip, but that was it. “Why wouldn’t I come back?” he said. “I promised, right?”
“I was still scared,” Kel said, then he frowned. “I was so scared I yelled at the doctors, then they gave me something and I fell asleep. They did surgery on my leg.”
“Uh, oh, you yelled at the doctors? I told you to be good,” Sasha said with a shake of his head. “And here I got you KFC and junk food and everything.”
Sasha expected a grand Kel-like reaction, squealing or bouncing up and down, or maybe even a smile? But Kel kept frowning, staring at Sasha with a clouded look.
“I don’t need food… I just needed you here,” Kel said solemnly. “I was scared you wouldn’t come back.”
“Keli…” Sasha sighed. He walked over to Kel and pulled up a chair beside his bed, then he took Kel’s hand into his. “Why would you think that? I’d never leave you.”
Kel’s eyes deflected. “Kheva said he’d never leave me too.”
Shit. Sasha felt a swell of guilt. Of course it was that. Kel was more lucid now, in stable condition, and previous emotions were rising to the surface. There was going to be a lot of damage control in Sasha’s future, and he had to decide just how he was going to handle it. What did he tell Kel? Kheva had left him for dead, through no fault of his own.
Sasha knew what he had to do, be a man and fess up. Kel had his issues, but he was a product of his environment, a product of Kheva and his own isolation.
“What happened with Kheva wasn’t your fault,” Sasha said. He rose and grabbed the bottle of Diet Dr. Pepper and the bag of KFC, then put both on the swivel table Kel had pushed back. “Kheva had misinformation. He thought you were being sneaky behind his back, but you weren’t. When we go back home, I’m going to tell Kheva everything.”
I’m going to be signing my own death warrant…
This is the dumbest idea I’ve ever had.
But what the fuck else can I do? Let Kheva kill Kel? What the fuck do I do? I could never live with myself.
“And Kheva will let me come home?” Kel asked timidly, his dark blue eyes staring at the green blanket he had draped over his lower half.
“Yeah, he will,” Sasha said. “I’ll make everything okay, and it can all go back to normal, just like it was before.”
It was a tall order, but it made Kel smile. Soon he was attacking the KFC with his remaining good hand and telling Sasha about what had happened while he was receiving emergency care.
“Some of the doctors were being assholes until the first doctor talked to them,” Kel said, his mouth stuffed with chicken. “I’m not sure what he said. Do you think he was telling them that I was delayed? I don’t think I’m delayed.”
“Nah, he was reminding them that you’re special.”
Kel beamed at this and continued eating. “The doctors were patient with me after that, and they explained everything that was happening. I was still scared though, and I began getting scared when they snipped all my clothes off and it made my leg and arm hurt. So, I began yelling and screaming, and they gave me a shot of something and then I just didn’t care. I didn’t care when they set my leg and arm, I didn’t care when they cleaned my wounds, or put in my IV. I was really good, but I want to go home. When can we go home? How’s Jye? When’s Kheva coming back?”
“Jesus, boy, one question at a time,” Sasha laughed. He grabbed a couple fries from the KFC box. “I’m not sure when you can go home, but I’m returning to Ciel Lake the day after tomorrow to check on Kheva. Jye’s fine, I fed him and he’s asleep on my bed. I bought him a leash, bowls, and toys. So, don’t worry, he seems to be going with th
e flow.”
“Check on Kheva?” Kel’s head tilted to the side. “Why do you need to check on Master Kheva?” Then, the gears in his head began to turn and Sasha could see the realization coming to him that something went wrong, a hell of a lot more wrong than he’d previously thought.
“W-what happened?” Kel dropped the mostly eaten chicken he was eating and gave Sasha a frightened look. “Sashy… Sashy, what happened? You gotta tell me what happened.”
Sasha hesitated, unsure of just how much information he should give Kel. Kel did know about the voice inside of his head, he told Kheva when he came, just like Sasha was supposed to.
So maybe that would be the easiest way…
“You know the voice inside of our heads that Kheva told us to tell him about?”
Kel nodded. “He shocks our heads and he goes away.”
“That’s right,” Sasha said, nodding back. “Your head voice… he took over your body and hurt Master Kheva.” Kel’s eyes widened and the colour dripped from his face. “The voice tried to make them both fall down the stairs, which is how you got hurt. Master thinks that you deliberately allowed him to gain control––”
“But I didn’t!” Kel cried. He dropped the piece of chicken, his teeth locking and his face twisting in apprehension and pain. “I didn’t let him! I swear I––”
“I know,” Sasha said hastily. He took Kel’s hand again and squeezed it. “I know, Kel, and I’m going to explain everything to Kheva so he knows too. Then he’ll let you come back home.”
“Did the voice hurt Kheva?” Kel asked. He sniffed and looked down at their joined hands. “I work very hard to make sure he doesn’t come back. I tell Kheva every single time. Kheva usually knows because he can sense him. How did bad voice hide from Kheva?”
Me… Sasha thought bitterly, and it was a cruel twist of irony that his current confession was being hidden from Kel by the very thing that condemned him: the Dead Zone.
The fucking Dead Zone.
He was going to confess to Kheva. He was going to tell him about the Dead Zone.
I’m insane. He’s going to fucking kill me…
But they’re my family now, Sasha said. I made a mistake when I was new there and getting tortured, now I’m going to repent for it. I can’t have Kheva thinking Kel betrayed him. Kel’s the loyalest person I’ve ever met and he didn’t deserve that.
“I’m not sure how the bad voice was able to hide,” Sasha lied. “But we’ll find out and make sure he never comes back again.”
But Kel didn’t look convinced, he stared at Sasha’s face with a grave and frightened look, his chicken growing cold in his hand.
“Kheva… Kheva’s in zombie-mode again, isn’t he?” he said quietly.
Sasha looked up, his mouth full of fries. “You – you know about that?” he said, quickly swallowing his food. “You were there when it happened before?”
Kel nodded solemnly. “There’s bad people after us,” he said. “Like Gavin, and the others… they hurt Master Kheva really bad, and they want to take me back with them. They say I belong with them, and Kheva needs to know his place.”
The group of people that gang raped Kel. Rob had shown a memory from Kel and Kheva’s mind showing the act.
If that was even Kheva… since Rob had shown his true colours, Sasha wasn’t even sure that Kheva was the man on top of Kel. Perhaps that was just manipulation and every man there was a part of that fucked up group. If Kheva wasn’t involved at all, Kheva hunting them all down would make more sense.
“That group… are they all nightcrawlers?” Sasha asked.
Kel nodded. “They’re bad people. They hurt Master.” Sasha sat down on the edge of the hospital bed and put an arm around Kel, the man’s mood now in freefall. “I don’t like seeing Master Kheva like that. It means something really bad happened and his mind shutdown to protect himself. Master Kheva… he had to do that a lot.”
He… learned how to do it when he was a kid, Sasha thought. He’d just stare up at the ceiling and go inside of his head so he wouldn’t be mentally there when his owners were raping him.
Nightcrawlers are made powerful through suffering; their mind powers grow through torture.
Which is why Kheva Swift is the most powerful man in the world.
“He’ll be fine, hun,” Sasha said. He hugged Kel close to his side and leaned his head against Kel’s black hair. “I’m going to go check on him the day after tomorrow, and if he’s awake, I’ll tell him the truth about you.”
Kel nodded. “And you won’t listen to our bad head voice?”
Sasha shook his head. “No, he’s not even here anymore.” Or if he is, he’s damaged enough that he’s hiding, or too weak to make an appearance.
There was a light knock on the door. Kel looked alarmed but Sasha knew who it was. Lex took Jobe to talk to the doctors about Kel’s lack of identity, and said they’d come back once everything was taken care of.
Sure enough, when Sasha told them to enter, Lex and Jobe walked through the door with Dr. Malloy following behind. They all had smiles on their faces, the kind one adopted when they wanted to show a scared child everything was okay.
“Hello, Kel,” Dr. Malloy said. “How are you doing? Got some of that KFC you were promised, huh?”
“Yes,” Kel said, his eyes watching his hands. “He came back.”
“Just like I said he would,” Dr. Malloy said through his kind smile. He entered the room with a clipboard in his hand and glanced down at it. “So, you suffered a spiral fracture on that leg of yours. As you know, we did emergency surgery on you and you now have two screws inside of your leg.” Kel lifted up the green blanket, and Sasha hid a smile, imagining Kel looking to see if he could see the screws. “Your arm didn’t require surgery however, you were lucky there. We’ve also been treating you for exposure, and we would like to continue to monitor you for the night, but I believe you’ll be well-enough to be released tomorrow morning.”
“That’s great,” Sasha said. He nudged Kel with a smile. “See, you’ll be able to come back with me tomorrow and see Jye.” That would mean Sasha would have to leave Kel in his apartment for the day while he went back to Ciel Lake to check on Kheva. He was going to have to lock Kel in to keep that little shithead Nate away from him.
Kel looked worried. “I have to sleep here?” He looked around. “I don’t want to sleep here.”
“I’ll stay the night with you,” Sasha said, not missing a beat. He looked up at the doctor. “That’ll be okay, right?”
All hopes of the doctor smiling and immediately agreeing faded when he was met with silence and an awkward purse of Dr. Malloy’s lips. “Unfortunately, only family is allowed to spend the night…”
“He is my family,” Sasha said. He looked at Kel who was shrunk down and miserable, and said before he could consider the impact it would have on Uncle Lex and Jobe. “He’s… he’s my boyfriend.”
Silence. Dead silence.
“Oh,” Dr. Malloy said, obviously flustered. “Well, ah.” He scratched the back of his neck, most likely wondering what to do and what he could say to not start a political discussion. Sasha himself had seen the American news air stories about gay and lesbian couples not being allowed to see or visit their partners after emergencies, or make decisions about their care. “It won’t be a problem then, just keep a low profile. Kel isn’t even properly admitted right now. Lex? Have you…?”
“I have,” Lex said. He motioned towards the door. “I’ll get it for you now. Sasha… you really want to stay?”
Sasha nodded. “He’s never spent a night away from home. It’ll only be for a night, then we’ll both be back.” Lex nodded, but it was Jobe who looked the most disenchanted.
“Your first night away and you’re not even going to spend it at home?” Jobe said, his voice breaking.
“Jobe,” Sasha sighed. He walked over to Jobe, who had a pout on him the size of Vancouver Island, and put his arms around his friend’s chest. “You’ll know w
here I am, and I’ll be home tomorrow. We can have a fun night, you can stay over.”
Jobe sniffed. “You used to hate leaving your apartment, and now you’re fine with spending a night away? What happened to you?”
Sasha pulled away. His heart was breaking for Jobe, but Jobe knew the old Sasha, the wreck, not the man he was now. The man who took care of his family, especially the one who needed the most care. “Lots happened to me,” he said quietly. “But at least I’m not a psychotic mess, right? I promise, one night here with Kel, and you can mother me until I can’t stand it tomorrow. Okay?” He looked over his shoulder at Kel, who was still looking miserable. “He needs lots of mothering, you can even get in on that too.”
Jobe gave Sasha a forlorn look. “Okay, bug,” he said quietly. “I understand… I’m just going to miss you. You gave us the shock of our lives, and now I don’t even get to stitch your body to mine tonight to make sure you never leave again.”
There was a chuckle throughout the room, but Sasha just smiled. He wanted to reassure Jobe that he’d never leave him again, but… he knew he couldn’t.
And it was then that Sasha began to realize he was about to be torn between two worlds, and two families that he loved. “One more night, not even a full day. Then I’ll be home.”
“Okay,” Jobe said again. He gave Sasha a hug, crushing his friend’s chest against Jobe’s own. “Want me to look after that wild cat?”
Right, Jye. The forgotten child.
“Yeah,” Sasha said. “Take him out to use the bathroom, and if he’ll let you, try to play with him a bit, burn off some energy or he’ll just destroy my apartment. The big bag of meat is made up of smaller Ziplocs, give him one of those, hide it around the yard like we did.” Thankfully Jye seemed pretty laid back around new people, he’d be okay.
Jobe nodded, and after a few more exchanges, Lex, Jobe, and Dr. Malloy left, leaving Sasha alone with Kel.
Kel who was still looking miserable.
“What’s wrong, Keli?” Sasha asked.
“I don’t feel good,” Kel whimpered. He gave Sasha a pathetic look, his dark blue eyes twin pools of sadness that were both threatening to overfill. “Lay with me?”