He couldn’t drag Colette into that mess.
“I wish you’d have a least sent a text or email, but I get it.”
“Do you?”
“You’re a warrior. It’s not like they sent you to some freaking five star resort in the Med for R&R. You were in a war zone. I just don’t know if I can do this.” She shook her head ever so slightly before dropping her chin into her chest.
“Do what? Do us?” He really hoped that wasn’t what she meant. It was the only thing he’d thought about for the past three months, what got him through and he didn’t mean ‘do us’ in just the horizontal form.
“Yes,” she whispered, tears in her eyes. “Be a military spouse. Not know where the fuck you are or if you’re okay.”
“Colette, sweetheart.” He pushed himself off the arm of the couch, wincing as pain shot up his leg.
She jumped up, ripping her t-shirt over her head and tossing it down like a gauntlet. “Look at me, Casey.”
Oh, he was and damn, she was still the sexiest, most beautiful woman he’d ever seen, although he didn’t remember her hipbones protruding before. His mouth ran dry. It was like being back in the desert at high noon.
“What do you see?” She asked.
“My dreams come to reality—”
“Casey!” She cut him off. “Look.”
“Are you trying to drive me crazy, woman?” Was this some kind of test? Was she trying to give him some kind of subtle code? Cripes, didn’t women get it yet? Men didn’t get subtlety. They need it plain and simple. At least he did.
“I’ve lost twenty pounds in three months. I mean, yeah, sure. I was thrilled about that first ten. What woman wouldn’t be? But not so much the last ten. I look like something that should be hanging in a science classroom.”
She began to pace, back and forth in nothing but a scrap of silky material across her ass. Probably not the time to tell her how adorable he found her.
“I can’t eat, Casey. Everything comes back up. I don’t know when was the last time I slept all night. I close my eyes and all I can see is every battle scene from every movie trailer ever made and you’re at the center. Except you’re not the guy carrying everyone else to safety.”
Damn.
He got it. He had those same nightmares.
“You just left? Again.”
She whirled around so fast he stumbled back until his butt hit the arm of the couch and he sat. “I didn’t leave you, Casey. I ran to you. The closest thing or place or whatever, I had to you. I could feel you in these rooms. Hear your laughter and you shouting at your stupid game shows. I could smell you on the sheets, which all sounds really stupid and maybe a little crazy.”
Tears ran down her cheeks and he wanted nothing more than to pull Colette into his arms and hold her, to kiss away the fears and frustration away.
“Actually, it makes a lot of sense. When I got home and you weren’t there, I flashed back for a second. Your neighbor said she saw you with a suitcase. Every instinct in my body told me to come here.”
“You came after me.”
“I learned my lesson the first time.” He held out a hand, letting out a sigh. “I’m not letting you go. Not again, because if I didn’t stop loving you in ten years, I’m not going to…ever.”
“Can you promise me there will be no more deployments? That this was it?”
His gaze dropped to her thin shoulders and trailed down to over her abdomen to her hips. She hadn’t needed to lose an ounce in his opinion. She was perfect. Loving him did this to her. He was no good for her and he couldn’t ask her to keep going through her own kind of hell for him.
He bent down and picked up the discarded t-shirt and handed it to her. “You look cold. To answer your question, no, I can’t make that promise. I’ve got two years left and until then the Navy owns me. I’ve got no say in what they do with me or where they send me.”
Picking up his duffle bag, he had no idea where he was going right then, but he knew he had to get out of there. He had to get away and let Colette go.
“I won’t ask you to wait for me this time and I don’t know what we’ll do about work. I’ll see if I can put in for a transfer. I want you to know, you’re what got me through my time over there. The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, so to speak.” He ran his thumb lightly across her cheek one last time. “I never stopped loving you. I never will, but we can’t keep doing this to each other. Just be happy, sweetheart.”
With that he turned and limped out the door. Every step shot pain throughout his body and heart. He couldn’t believe he was the one walking away this time. He was doing the right thing. He had to keep telling himself that. Loving him was physically destroying Colette. If he’d pushed, she would have caved. He saw it. She loved him, it along with guilt was written all over her body.
Damn it if doing the right thing didn’t suck royally.
He dropped the bag on to the beach and stepped off the path. There’d be sand everywhere and it’d be a bitch to clean out of the walking cast, but he needed a moment to figure out where the heck he was going. This time, he’d flown down and caught a cab to the resort instead of driving. There were probably rooms available, but he just wanted to get as far away as he could, while finding a place to crash with a six-pack of cold ones.
Maybe that motel in town? The Four-Way? He couldn’t think. Exhaustion pulled at him from every direction but there was no way he was crashing on the beach. He had enough of that the last couple of weeks.
Someone tapped him on the shoulder and her turned around to find Colette staring up at him, chest heaving. He hadn’t even heard her come up on him.
“Don’t go,” she said.
“I can’t stay. Sweetheart, I can’t make you the promises you need to hear.”
“You can make me one.”
He swallowed hard and closed his eyes. “Name it.”
“Always come home to me?” It was more of a whispered prayer than a request, one they both knew wasn’t wholly in his power to promise.
Behind him the gulf crashed against the shore. Another Florida storm was brewing. “We’re not far from Mexico. We could go there, never come back. Open a little beach bar. Be home every night.”
“You’d be AWOL. Are you crazy? You’re a military police officer. You can’t break the law.” The look on her face told him she’d thought he’d lost his mind. Just his heart.
“Cops break the law all the time.”
“You don’t and you’re not going to for me.”
“I would, Colette.”
She stepped toward him, taking his hand and wrapping it around her too thin waist. “Maybe we can come up with a better idea. Therapy? Hypnosis? One of those sleep pods you see in a sci-fi movie?”
He liked the sound of things more by the minute. “What exactly are you saying?”
“I’m not letting you go. Not again, because if I didn’t stop loving you in ten years, I’m not going to…ever. I learned my lesson too.”
He wrapped both arms around her and pulled her in close, ignoring every ache and pain—they’d go away in time, unlike what the two of them had. “I love you, Colette Thomas.”
“I know.” She grinned and laughed. “I love you more, and if you come back to our villa, I’ll prove it.
“Game on.”
Epilogue
It’s been an interesting year, Colette thought when she’d finally gotten a minute alone. The first of the day and probably the last. She and Casey had come a long way. Oh, there were still times when he drove her crazy and she probably got on his nerves every now and then. But they’d learned to understand each other and to compromise.
Like she’d learned to deal with Casey’s game show obsession and his need for them, because on a game show no one was trying to shoot you, or blow you up, or sneak a weapon past you. People weren’t angry drunks smacking their spouses around on a game show. Any yelling was usually done in good spirit or in the attempt to help a friend or relative. In other words, t
hey were his escape from the ugly side of his job. She never knew that before.
And Casey had learned to talk to her, to confide, and share his fears and frustrations and show that he wasn’t perfect. He’d learned to put her first and now she knew if she ran, he’d follow her to the ends of the earth.
So yeah, it’d been an interesting year, but a really good one.
And what to come was going to be even better.
She looked around the small room littered with dress bags and boxes and mirrors smiling. Who would have thought they’d end up back in Barefoot Bay? She stood and fluffed her dress, twirling one way and then the other. It was perfect. Not white, not this time. She’d gone for a deep blue halter style that hit below the knees in front and cascades to full length in the back. A little sass for the second time.
The door creaked open and her best friend stepped in. “You know you still have time to change your mind. I’ve got my car parked out front.”
She rolled her eyes at Jake Kibble and smiled. He didn’t mean a word of his offer and she knew it. “You kind of suck as a maid of honor, Kibble. You’re supposed to calm my nerves, not plan my escape.”
He stuck his hands in his tux pants pockets and rocked back on his heels. “You’re not nervous.”
“No, I’m not. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. He’s the one for me and you know it. If you didn’t you wouldn’t have arranged that whole room mix-up last year.”
He looked out the window, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “We’ve been over this. No idea what you’re talking about”
“Right, but here’s the thing. Sometimes you don’t get it right the first time out. Sometimes life gives you a second chance and when it does, you got to embrace it with everything inside of you. Embrace the fear, the doubts, own it. Because life doesn’t always give you a do-over.”
“Sounds like solid advice.”
“It is. Maybe you should take it.”
“Again, no clue what you’re talking about, but I do know your man is getting antsy out there. Let me slip off my maid of honor hat and do the greatest honor you’ve ever given me, besides being my friend.”
He held out his arm for her. She took it and nodded. “Let’s do this.”
They walked out into the late afternoon as the sun had started its descent into the west, leaving the sky painted a purplish-blue with streaks of orange and pink. At the end of the walkway, Colette slipped off her shoes and stepped onto the sand the path that led to Casey, the love of her life.
She walked past various friends from the command they both still worked at, a few friends from the food pantry they’d met and Casey’s family, who had nothing but smiles for her. She wished her mom and dad were still alive to see this moment, but knew they were smiling down on them. At the end of the aisle, she turned to Kibble who gave a smile and a nod toward the parking lot. Laughing, she kissed him on the cheek and stepped into Casey’s waiting arms.
“You again,” she said.
“Always. Where you go, I’ll follow. Now let’s get this party started so I can officially call you Mrs. Casey Thomas…again.”
About the Author
Gail Chianese's love of reading began at the tender age of three, when she'd make her grandpa read Fourteen Country Rabbits over and over and over again (and correct him when he skipped parts). While she's branched out over the years by reading mystery, women’s fiction, and urban fantasy, she always circles back to romance in the end. That's probably because she's married to her real life hero. Her wonderful hubby served in the US Navy for the twenty-seven years and he’s done things he can’t tell her about. But it doesn’t stop her from being extremely proud of him and the sacrifices he made for her, his family, and his country. He’s also uber-supportive of her dreams and of their three children. Living in Mystic, CT and a member of Connecticut Romance Writers of America, Gail loves to hear from readers. Visit her online at GailChianese.com, Facebook, follow her on Twitter @Gail_Chianese, or send her an e-mail at [email protected].
Books by Gail Chianese
The West Side Romance Series
Bachelorette for Sale
Boyfriend for Hire
Fiancé for Keeps
The Changing Tides Series
Love Runs Deep
A Hero to Love
Disarmed by Love
Barefoot Bay Kindle World
Whispers in the Sand
Sweet Surrender
A Sailor’s Second Chance
A Sailor's Second Chance Page 9