Was he still the man who saved my dad’s life on multiple occasions? The man my father respected and admired more than anyone in the entire world? Or was he just a shell of his former self? And if he was, was he damaged beyond repair or was there even a sliver there left to grab on to? To save?
I pulled up to the guest house and stepped out of my car. I took a deep breath and blew it out. My fascination with him had become more than just that. I had to know, for sure, if he felt something for me the way I burned for him.
I feel my blood pumping through my veins as I raise my arm to knock on the front door.
No answer.
“Travis?”
Nothing.
I walk around the side of the house and see him there. He’s standing in the entrance of the barn looking directly at me. The light behind him fading to black as he stands illuminated just outside of the rays of the sun.
“She’s back here,” he yells. But it wasn’t really a yell. His voice is so rich and deep, like an endless cup of morning coffee, and equally as strong. It carries long and far across the open plains. And when it reaches you it smacks you right in the face, and everywhere else too. It was plenty warm outside, but I felt goose bumps cover my arms.
This man effects me like no one ever has.
Part of me says to turn and walk away. I’m scared of what I know might happen if I go to him.
This was either going to be the best thing I ever did for myself, or the worst mistake of my entire life.
CHAPTER 4
Travis
I haven’t been able to focus on anything other than her since I saw her this morning.
And now she’s here. Thirty yards up by the house standing there. God, she looks like an angel. Her white tank top accentuating her heavenly features.
She’s a bit sweaty and disheveled from working all day, but damn does the sight of her like this turn me on even more. A girl who’s not afraid to get dirty.
And do I ever want to get dirty with her. Completely filthy.
I didn’t even try and deny my thoughts for once the entire day. My mind was in the gutter and my cock was so hard it was pointing north. I had to put on a looser pair of Levi’s just to cope. Just to make it until she came.
When I left The Unit my future was up in the air, if you could even say I had a future at all.
She’s my future. That part is crystal clear.
She’s the warmth of a fireplace on a cold desert night. She the light to my darkness. And she will be mine.
This self-control bullshit was killing me. How could I act like a gentleman when every thought racing through my brain was so utterly savage?
What the fuck was wrong with me? She’s perfect. I certainly don’t deserve her in the condition I’m in. Maybe not at all.
Damn, I’m so tired of these thoughts conflicting everything.
I wonder what her dad might have told her. I know he’s a good man, but this is his one and only daughter we’re talking about. His angel.
Did he warn her that I was broken? Did she even care? Did she think the same things about me that that Walter Reed shrink thought?
My head leaned left as my right hand stroked the back of my neck. I could feel the tension creeping up from my shoulders and spreading throughout my body. I’d waited all day for this moment. For her. And now that she was here my anticipation had been replaced with tension. I was well on my way to an ulcer if I wasn’t there already.
All I want is a life with her, but if I keep this up she’s going to be the death of me.
CHAPTER 5
Maria
I t wasn’t the humidity that was making it hard to breathe, it was him.
I walk toward him, but I want to run. To run and jump in his arms and tell him exactly what I feel.
But I can’t lose myself in him, without losing my mind. And I have to stay focused. I’m here to help Snowball. And I don’t even know if my dad is home. I can’t see his truck from this distance, but that doesn’t mean anything. He may be off hunting somewhere or may have pulled it inside the garage. For all I know I have to assume he’s watching my every move through his patio doors with his hunting binoculars. It scares me as much as it turns me on.
“Thanks for coming,” he says. His arm reaches out and his fingertips take hold of my tricep. I feel my hair stand on end from the electricity of his touch. The power he has in just his fingertips is more than many of the boys I’d met at A&M. They can’t offer much more than a limp, fishy handshake on campus and this man has fingertips that were forged in steel from years of manual labor. Years of protecting his homeland. From protecting me.
I hear Snowball neigh, and know it’s her way of asking, ‘Is anyone there?’
“We should probably take a look,” I say.
Travis turns and we walk towards her stall. I felt an emptiness as his touch left my arm. I long to feel his hands on my again. All of me. I was a curvy girl from the south and wasn’t about to give up my authentic Mexican food just to squeeze into a dress a size or two smaller once or twice a year. I needed the extra carbs anyways. Working on my feet all day at the feed barn and pet supply was demanding.
It was easy to see he had the strength and size to handle me. What I would give to feel it right now.
We go back and I take a look at Snowball. Fortunately it’s not much more than a scratch, but it seems to be bothering her quite a bit.
We work together to get her all patched up. He’s not saying anything, and I’m simply telling him how he can help me and what to hand me.
The sexual tension is thick, but not so much that our teamwork doesn’t go unnoticed to me. We work well together.
If he was trained as a combat medic as part of his Delta Force training did he really need my help? Did he just call me out her to see me again?
The thoughts are circling in my head. As much as I want to stay longer and get to know him, I don’t want to be one to linger if he’s not going to make it clear he wants me here. He’s been very guarded with his emotions and as much as I want to tell him something, or a whole lot more, I’m still a lady. It’s up to him to make the first move.
I put my things back in my backpack. He offers to pay me, but I quickly refuse. I’m not about to accept payment for something so small, not to mention the fact that my dad and him are so close.
“Thanks for coming by,” he says.
“Glad we got her all fixed up,” I say. Why are we talking about Snowball when we should be talking about our feeling toward each other? “I guess I’ll be going.”
I feel his hand on my forearm. His thumb and index finger alone forming a complete circle around my wrist. His hands are massive compared to mine.
“At least stay for a coffee,” he says.
“It’s okay. Really.”
“I insist.”
The way he’s looking at me tells me he’s not about to take no for an answer. Not that I want to tell him no anyways. I agree and we approach his house.
Our bodies were close out in the barn, and they’re only going to get closer inside this little guest house.
CHAPTER 6
Travis
I practiced meditation to calm my breathing.
I read books to try and take my mind off the things I’d seen.
I drank coffee to stay awake to avoid the nightmares.
It was the life I had chosen for myself. Separated from everyone so I could concentrate on myself. I thought it would work. And it did.
Until her.
I boil water in the kettle as she sits at my kitchen table meant for two. I’m a big guy. I have to angle the table sideways just to get my knees underneath it. With her here it’s going to be even tighter.
But why are at the table anyways? I want her in the bedroom. Owning her. Ravishing her. Tasting each and every inch of her skin. Smelling her scent. Running my finger tips along her light brown skin as I watch her body react. Watch her pupils dilate inside those beautiful brown irises.
I pour the hot water
over the coffee grounds and I stand sideways, hiding my desire for her.
Agonizing minutes pass until I have enough coffee for the two of us. I join her at the table. Neither one of us sure where to start.
She takes a sip and pulls back.
“Are you okay?” I ask, jumping up from the table. Let me get a cold towel.
I see her brow furrow as she questions what I’m doing. It strikes me that I’m doing it again. I’m overshooting my target…too much too soon. Too over protective. I calm my movements and run a cold rag underneath the faucet.
I return to the table and hold the cool cloth up to her lips. She takes it from me, her hands over the top of mine. She presses it towards her lips to ease the burn. I can’t tell if the burning has already stopped or not, but it doesn’t matter. Just to feel her tiny hand on mine is enough to send chills through my body, and heat into my groin. But it’s my hand that should be over hers. Protecting her, just as I was trying to do now. Keeping her safe, even if just from a hot cup of coffee.
“You really take good care of your guests, don’t you?”
I only want to take care of you. No one else. “It says a lot about a man…the way he takes care of others.”
“I agree,” she says. “And you’ve been doing it for so long.”
“A little too long, maybe.”
Her gaze narrows as she processes my words. Too much too soon, Travis. Keep it light. But I can’t. It’s not who I am.
“What do you mean?”
“Nothing. Really.”
“You really enjoy taking care of people don’t you?”
“Yes,” I say as I sit back down in my chair. I move my hand around and on top of hers. “Especially someone who deserves it.”
I can feel her hand shaking underneath mine. It’s fight or flight for her. I try to slow my breathing, but it’s no use. I know she can feel the sweat from my hand on hers. I don’t care. All I want is to protect her. Always. I’m territorial. With her I’m possessive. I may be older, but with age comes the inability to waste time. I realize time is limited and I don’t want to waste a second of it playing games. I only want one thing. Her. To make her mine.
I feel her hand move away, and the cloth falls to the table. My thumb cups her chin and my fingers run along her high cheekbones. This is the most beautiful creature on earth. The most beautiful woman I have ever seen.
I feel my face slide towards hers when suddenly I’m interrupted by three taps on the window. “Travis. Maria. You in there?”
Shit, it’s Ed!
CHAPTER 7
Maria
T ravis stands from the table suddenly, his chair flying back against the wall. His hands are still on my face, his gaze fixed on mine. He towers above me and I feel his raw power. I’m like a drop in the ocean next to him. I feel so womanly and fragile.
He stares at me for a few seconds, saying nothing. Then his hand leaves my face but his stare doesn’t. He opens the door.
“I see the two of you have met,” he says.
“Yes, dad. I just burned my lip and he was helping me cool it down.”
“So saving me all those times wasn’t enough, Trav? Now you’re taking care of my family. What would the Garcia’s do without you?”
It sounds patronizing, but I quickly realize it’s not. My dad trusts Travis. Entirely. He gives him a pat on the back with his left hand and shakes his hand with his right.
My dad pulls him in for a hug and then backs away a step.
“Is everything okay, Trav?” he says.
“Yeah, Ed. You know me. Just catching my breath.”
“You can say that again. It’s a little hot in here. How about we step outside for some air.”
I can’t tell if my dad senses we’re up to something or he’s just looking out for Travis. He brought him here to heal and he’s determined to help him do just that. The guest house was hot, and if my dad hadn’t knocked it was about to get a whole heck of a lot hotter.
We go up to the main house and my dad makes up a pitcher of lemonade.
“Are your lips still burning, Maria?”
Burning for Travis, dad.
“No, I’m okay now. It was nothing, really.”
“You know I wouldn’t let anything happen to her, Ed.” Travis shoots in. “Nothing on my watch, that’s for sure.” I can see his face turn angry. He looks beyond pissed.
His anger was a turn on. Not the anger in and of itself, but that he was angry processing the thought of anything happening to me. To think that someone so worldly, who had surely seen plenty of pretty girls in his life, thought so much of me made me feel butterflies inside. My friends at A&M had told me how little respect boys had these days. With Tinder and all the other dating apps it seemed like a “pump and dump” competition on campus between the guys. Their words, not mine. Thankfully I had managed to entirely avoid their crass, juvenile behavior.
Campus was full of guys trying to get with multiple girls on the same night…to kick girls out right after sex…and any other forms of disrespect they could think of in order to brag to their friends. Disgusting.
Travis was the antithesis of that. I sip a hot coffee and he’s ready to wait on me hand and foot. Overkill? Maybe. Okay. Definitely. But it sure was a breath of fresh air. Just what I needed, and exactly what I wanted.
I never knew I had a thing for older guys, because I hadn’t. It was just him. Travis. Something about him specifically that did it for me. I admired a man with discipline, and he had it in spades. His body was chiseled and hard as a rock, but not to the point it was gross like the obsessive ways some of the guys around town get. Shooting who knows what in each other’s butt cheeks in order to lift a few more pounds in the gym. And all at the expense of their long term health and sex drive. No thank you.
I sipped my lemonade as dad and Travis caught up. It was amazing to watch them talk. They had their own language filled with acronyms and military jargon. There was no way I was going to keep up.
I admired my dad for the way he handled everything. At first I didn’t know if it would be a good idea for him to talk with Travis about the military. It was the very thing which had caused the demons he was battling. But the more he spoke about it the more relaxed he became. It was beautiful to watch. It was like a safe place to him, which was both confusingly ironic to me and made all the sense in the world at the same time.
The more I thought I realized he had lost his sense of purpose, or at least that’s what my thoughts led me to believe. We studied these things in animal psychology. It was strange to apply it to a man sitting right in front of me, but I quickly reminded myself we are indeed animals, no matter what kind of civilized games we try to play with one another.
And there was nothing civilized I wanted from him. I only wanted his most animalistic desires. The ones he nearly unleashed before my dad had shown up. But for now I could only wonder. But I didn’t know how much longer I could wait.
CHAPTER 8
Travis
M aria had left around sunset. I stayed in the main house talking to Ed another hour. I wanted to tell him what I felt about his daughter, but the moment never presented itself. I wanted to tell him I wanted his blessing in pursuing her. That I needed her. That I would treat her like the princess that she is. But how do I tell my best friend this? At best he’ll think my head is still off and try and dismiss it. At worst we’re throwing blows and years of friendship could be gone in an instant.
I didn’t care. I was willing to risk it all for his daughter. Come hell or high water it was the only option. It wasn’t even an option. I was all in with no parachute. Sink or swim. And to sink was to completely drown. I’d be thrown out, understandably. It’s not that I can’t handle myself, it’s just that it would have solidified the rest of my life as a hermit. A recluse. That’s not any way to live, especially when I was so close to being with her.
Maria had come to see me.
Sure, she came out to help Snowball, but with my training I c
ould have figured that out on my own. As much as I tried to look at it from any and all other sides there was no doubting her intentions. She was here for me.
And I was so close to telling her what I felt when Ed showed up. How would she have felt if I just had another twenty seconds to begin to tell her what I felt? Everything would have changed. My touch on her face would have exploded into a whole lot more. How would she react? Would she fight what she felt or give in to my true intentions?
Worldly: An Older Man Younger Woman Romance (A Man Who Knows What He Wants #9) Page 2