“You’d be surprised how many players in the league have been trapped by women getting pregnant on purpose,” he says. “Some of them end up married to women they don’t even like, just to give their kid a family. Others simply fork over eighteen years of child support.”
“That’s awful. Didn’t anyone ever teach them about birth control?” I ask.
“Some women are ruthless. Lying about being on the pill. Poking holes in condoms. When I got called up, they made me sit with their PR rep who basically gave me a talk about how not to get a girl pregnant.” He rolls his eyes. “It was humiliating. I felt like I was in middle school. But it happens so often, they’ve made it part of the transition from the minors. Always carry your own condoms. Never use one a girl provides. Put it on yourself. Make sure to flush it after, don’t just dump it in the trash and leave, because resourceful girls might dig it out and use what’s inside it.”
My hand comes up to cover my surprised gasp. “Oh, my God, Caden, really?”
“Really,” he says. “So you can see how it might be hard to trust anyone. Even getting set up with friends of friends is hard. You just never know their true motives. After a scare last year, I decided it just wasn’t worth it to try to find a girlfriend.”
“Scare? Did some girl say you got her pregnant?” I look at Ellie thinking how sad it would be for her to have a cousin she would never get to see.
He takes a big swig of his wine, then places it down on the table, tracing the mouth of the glass with his finger. “She didn’t just say I got her pregnant. I did get her pregnant.”
I look at my brother with wide eyes. “Caden, do you have a child?”
He shakes his head. “No. She had a miscarriage a week after she told me she was pregnant. But the whole thing scared the shit out of me, Lexi. What would I have done with a kid when I was barely twenty-three?”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask, hurt that he never thought to pick up the phone and get advice from his big sister.
“It was last March,” he says.
“Oh.” I disappeared in February. There was no way for him to contact me. “I’m so sorry, Caden. I wish I’d been there for you. Maybe I could have helped.”
“You’re sorry about not being there for me?” He looks at me sideways, studying my face. “Lexi, I’m the one who should have been there for you. I was so wrapped up in my own life—in baseball—that I couldn’t even bother to pick up the phone. Maybe if I would have, you’d have told me what was going on. I feel like all of this is my fault. I should have made more of an effort. Can you ever forgive me?”
I reach over the table and grab his hand. “Caden, there is nothing to forgive. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m the big sister. You shouldn’t have to look out for me. When Mom died, I should have made you my top priority. Instead, I was already in deep with Grant. I let him control me. I let him take me away from my friends. From you. If anyone is at fault here, it sure as hell isn’t you.”
“It’s not you either,” he says. “You know that, right? What he did to you—it’s not your fault.”
I nod. “I know that. I even knew it back then. I only stayed with him because I felt trapped. After he threatened you, I literally had nowhere to go.”
He smacks his palm on the table in anger. “You did, Lexi. You did have somewhere to go. You could have come to me anyway. I don’t care what he would have done to me. It would have been worth it to get you away from him.”
A tear rolls down my cheek as I smile at my little brother, knowing he’d sacrifice his career for me. I feel the same way about him. I’d do anything to keep him safe. “I wasn’t going to let that happen,” I say. “Baseball is your life.”
“But you’re my family,” he says, trying not to get choked up. “Family will always trump baseball, Lexi. Don’t ever forget that.”
“I love you, you know that, right?” I say.
“Yeah,” he says, getting up to come hug me. “I love you, too.”
I smile up at him. “That’s the first time I’ve ever heard you say that out loud.”
“Really?” he asks. “Well, shit. Plan on hearing it a lot more.” He does the sign for ‘I love you’ with his hands. He signs it to me and then he signs it to Ellie.
“You remembered?” I ask.
I showed him a few signs when he came for dinner last week.
“I’ve been practicing,” he says. “I happen to have the best niece in the world who has the coolest uncle who plans on talking with her every chance he gets. Don’t be surprised if I get her a phone when she’s two, just so we can text each other.”
I laugh, happy that he plans to spoil her. “Did you know that texting was invented solely to allow deaf people to communicate on cell phones?”
“No shit?” he says. “And now, it’s how everyone communicates. Imagine that.”
I clean up Ellie and then take our dirty dishes to the sink. When I come back out, Caden is holding Ellie and she’s laughing when he makes faces at her.
“Speaking of family,” I say. “I have something I’ve been wanting to ask you, Caden.”
He stares at me for a second. “This looks serious.”
“It is,” I tell him, motioning for him to sit down on the couch.
He puts Ellie between us, giving her one of her plastic picture books which she promptly puts in her mouth to chew on. “Whatever it is, the answer is yes,” he says.
“Don’t say that until you know what it is. This is a pretty tall order,” I tell him.
“I don’t care, Lexi.”
I nod to Ellie. “If something ever happens to me, will you raise her?”
He looks from Ellie to me and then back to Ellie. I’m not even sure he understands the question. I open my mouth to clarify, but he holds his hand out to shut me up. “In a fucking heartbeat,” he says. “It would be my absolute honor to raise her. Of course, yes, Lexi. But nothing is going to happen to you. I promise I won’t let that bastard hurt you ever again.”
“It’s not just about Grant,” I say. “I could get hit by a bus. Or I could fall down the stairs and break my neck. I could get bitten by a raccoon and die from rabies. Or get run over by—”
“Enough, Lexi. I get it,” he says, looking annoyed. “You really don’t need to chronicle all the ways you can die. It’s so morbid. And raccoons in New York City? I doubt it.”
I shrug. “I may not always live in the city.”
He looks at me like I’m crazy. “You’ll live in the city,” he says. Then he looks around the apartment. “If I were a betting man, I’d bet you’ll probably even live here. Or maybe someplace even bigger. I mean, I thought I had money. How rich is this guy?”
“I don’t know exactly. But I think it’s family money. You should see his brothers’ places. If you think this place is nice, it actually looks like a dump compared to Ethan’s penthouse.”
“You could definitely do worse, sis,” he says, looking out the massive picture windows.
“I’d love him if he had nothing, Caden.”
He laughs through his nose, nodding at me. “I know. That’s why he’s going to come around. He’d be a fool not to.”
Chapter Fifty
“The steak was amazing. Thank you,” I tell Ethan and Charlie. “And it’s so nice of you to hire a sitter to watch all the kids so we can relax.”
“It’s our pleasure,” Charlie says, refilling my glass of wine. “Most of them are watching a movie, the last I checked, and Kiera and Ellie were playing with blocks.”
“What movie? One of mine?” Chad asks, jokingly.
“Of course,” Ethan replies. “Don’t you know by now that we just love to let Eli watch dudes kill each other. Especially if it involves blood, gore, and guts. And drugs. We love to let him watch people do drugs.”
“Oh, and the ones where you shove your tongue in someone’s mouth—those are good, too,” Charlie says. “I think Eli particularly likes the ones where you grab a woman’s bare breasts.”
>
“That’s my boy,” Ethan says, laughing.
I still can’t believe the incredible people I have in my life now. A famous actor, the starting quarterback for the Giants, a best-selling author. Not to mention all the rest of them with ‘regular’ jobs, who themselves seem larger than life.
How did I ever get so lucky to get Kyle as my doctor so he could lead me to all of these wonderful human beings?
“What do you guys want to do now?” Ethan asks. “The night is still young. Hell, none of the kids have even had an injury yet.”
“Now you jinxed it,” Griffin says. “Better not be one of mine, or I’ll sue your ass.”
Ethan reaches into his pocket and pulls out a few quarters. “This is about as much as you’ll get out of me,” he says. Then he studies the quarters in his hand. “Hey, you guys want to play a drinking game?”
“Quarters?” Charlie asks, looking at his hand. “No way, I was never very good at that game. But I’ll play something else. You guys ever played ‘Never have I ever’?”
Kyle’s eyes snap to mine and we share a quick private moment of nostalgia.
It’s strange, being here with five other couples but not being part of a couple. The girls all know the score. Well, maybe not the whole score. I failed to reveal to them that Kyle and I slept together a few weeks ago. I can only assume they’ve told their significant others what is—or isn’t—going on between us.
But that doesn’t stop any of them from inviting me over whenever they invite Kyle. Every time, I tell Kyle he doesn’t have to drag me along. I tell him he should go have fun with his brothers, but he insists they are all my friends now, too, and it wouldn’t be fair to leave me home.
I stare at Kyle, waiting for him to give Charlie a reason not to play the game.
But he doesn’t.
Maybe he’s hoping to learn more about me. Maybe he’s looking for a reason to let me in.
Maybe he’s looking for a reason to kick me out.
Charlie doesn’t even have to explain the rules. Apparently, Kyle was the only teenager in the history of teenagers who had never played the game.
Ethan brings several more bottles of wine to the table. “Ladies first,” he says.
“Age before beauty,” Piper says to her oldest sister, who in turn pelts her with a chocolate candy.
“Your beauty is ageless, darlin’,” Gavin says to Baylor, leaning down to give her a kiss on the lips.
“Okay, this isn’t ‘Spin the Bottle’,” Skylar says. “Quit being all lovey-dovey and ask your question.”
Baylor throws another chocolate at Skylar as they all share a laugh.
They are lucky to have each other. I’ve never realized that as much as I do now, after being able to spend these last few weeks getting to know my own brother again.
Baylor chews on the inside of her cheek in thought. “Never have I ever been stuck in an elevator,” she says.
Skylar takes a drink. Then Mallory and Chad look at each other and burst out laughing before they both have a sip of wine.
“Wait,” Charlie says, eyeing them suspiciously. “In an elevator? Seriously?”
Chad shrugs guiltily. “We were stuck. There was nothing else to do.”
Ethan high-fives Chad.
“Never have I ever been in handcuffs,” Skylar says, looking around at everyone.
Chad takes a drink. No surprise there, we all know about his highly-publicized troubles from years back.
Ethan nudges his wife. “Come on, Tate. Drink up,” he says, using his nickname for her.
Charlie rolls her eyes and takes a drink. “They weren’t even real,” she says under her breath.
Piper laughs. “Eww, I don’t even want to know,” she says.
“Okay, my turn,” Mallory says. “Never have I ever called in sick to work because I had a hangover.”
Everyone but Mal and Kyle take a drink.
“Goddamn overachiever,” Chad says, throwing a wine cork at Kyle.
“You’re next,” Skylar says to me.
“Um, never have I ever flashed a bartender to get a free drink,” I say.
All the guys look at their significant others. Charlie and Skylar both take a drink.
“Really, Sky?” Griffin asks his bride.
She shrugs. “What can I say, I was a bit of a firecracker before I met you.”
“Never have I ever had sex with my best friend,” Charlie says, winking at Piper.
“Does that only apply to when you were best friends, or after?” Mallory asks.
Chad hands her a glass of wine. “Just drink, babe.” They share a sweet look as they both take a drink.
“Now me,” Piper says. “Never have I ever called out the wrong name during sex.”
Everyone looks around, waiting for someone to take a drink, but no one does. I strongly debate telling Kyle he needs to. After all, he called me Elizabeth—in the throes—twice. But I guess I’ll let it slide, since technically, he was still calling out my name.
“Chicks have boring questions,” Chad says. “Come on, Gav, give us something we can chew on.”
“Okay,” Gavin says. “Let’s make things a little interesting. “Never have I ever kissed someone of the same sex on the mouth.”
Kyle laughs out loud. I shoot him a venomous stare as I quickly take a drink. But I’m not the only one. Charlie does, too.
“It’s a good thing we’re already home,” Ethan says, laughing at his wife. “Because I have a feeling you might be getting drunk tonight.”
“And I have a feeling you might be getting lucky,” she says to him.
They share a smile. Then I look over to see Kyle watching me from where he sits across the room. He’s always watching me. He watches me when I eat. When I clean the apartment. When I work. He especially watches me when I’m with Ellie.
But right now, he’s watching me like he’s jealous. He’s jealous that his brother and sister-in-law have something he doesn’t. And I take another drink just for posterity.
“Never have I ever had to do a walk of shame,” Griffin says.
Glasses are raised all around the room, with the exception of Piper. Even I have to take a drink, from the first time I was with Grant and had to sneak out of his hotel room in Myrtle Beach.
“Never have I ever taken a naked selfie,” Ethan says.
Nobody picks up their glass. “Really?” he asks his wife. “I just assumed with all the crazy stuff you did in Europe . . .”
“Oh, my God, Ethan,” Charlie says. “No!”
“Okay, well maybe later then, after these freeloaders go home?” He raises his eyebrows at her as we all laugh.
She rolls her eyes at him.
“Never have I ever given a lap dance,” Chad says, looking around at all the ladies.
Nobody moves. “None of you? Are you sure?” he asks.
Baylor, Skylar and Piper all throw chocolates at him.
Everyone looks at Kyle. “Uh . . . Never have I ever had sex in public,” he says.
Griffin, Gavin and Mason all look at Ethan and Charlie. “What?” the couple says in tandem.
“The pool at the gym,” Mason says, staring them down like they just took candy from a baby.
Ethan laughs. “Oh, right.” He lifts his glass to his wife and they toast before they take another drink.
I’m starting to get the idea there is a lot more to Charlie than meets the eye.
Mason clears his throat. “Never have I ever had an STD scare,” he says.
Charlie rolls her eyes and takes another drink, emptying her glass.
“Really, Tate?” Ethan asks.
“Scare,” she says, putting emphasis on the word. She ignores her husband’s open jaw as she gets up off the couch. “So, anyone want dessert before round two?”
We all get up and stretch our legs.
Ethan comes over to me. “Lexi, I have something for you. It’s in my office. Can you join me for a minute?”
Kyle watches us walk out of
the room and then follows behind. Ethan turns on the light in his office and walks around his desk, pulling a large envelope out of his drawer before handing it to me.
“Is that what I think it is?” Kyle asks, leaning in the doorway behind me.
“Open it,” Ethan says, nodding to the envelope.
I pull open the flap and pull out the papers. There are two birth certificates issued from the state of New York. In the names of Elizabeth Catherine Smith and Ellie Elizabeth Smith. There is also a New York State ID for me. I don’t miss that it’s been issued with Kyle’s address.
“I wouldn’t go using those to get a passport or anything, but if you wanted to open a bank account or get a library card, those should do. I’m working on getting you a social security card, but those are hard to come by and could have major repercussions.”
I shake my head. “I don’t need a social security card, Ethan. I don’t want to steal anyone’s identity or get you into trouble. This is all I need. Thank you.”
Kyle looks at the documents in my hands and gruffs before turning and leaving the room.
Ethan puts a hand on my shoulder. “Don’t worry about him.”
I sigh. “I really think he just wants me to contact Grant and let the chips fall where they may. I can’t do that, Ethan. I wish he could understand.”
“He’s torn up inside, Lexi. Confused. You’re married to another man. You could never legally be with him. But on the flip side, I think he understands that you have no choice. That you’re doing it to protect not only yourself, but Ellie. But it’s a big pill to swallow, knowing that the one you love can never truly be yours.”
“Love?” I ask, looking up at him with trepidation. With hope.
“I see the way he looks at you, Lexi. He’s not fooling anyone—except maybe himself.” He puts an arm around me, escorting me back out into the main room. “Just give him time. He’ll come around.”
I stare at Kyle as he talks to Chad, and it dawns on me how ironic it is that I’m living with a man who I love, who refuses to love me—refuses to touch me; when just over a year ago, I was living with a man I hated, who had his way with me whenever it suited him.
The irony is—I still go to bed every night living a lie.
Stone Vows (A Stone Brothers Novel) Page 25