“What can I get ya?” she asked.
“I’ll just have an iced tea,” Mimi said.
The waitress rolled her eyes and then moved her gaze to Meg. When the drinks arrived, Mimi took a sip and placed her iced tea on the sticky table. There was a sudden roar of laughter that made Mimi bolt upright.
Meg glanced over her shoulder and saw the man the laughter belonged to. He had his waist pressed up against a pinball machine. It was obvious he had beaten his friends high score, who stood next to him with his eyes closed, shaking his head.
Meg sighed. “So, talk to me.”
Mimi told Meg all about Austin and how guarded he had been. Then she talked about Jake and what a smart, wonderful kid he was. Meg sat and listened, her gaze resting on Mimi. She took in a deep breath and quickly looked around her, surveying the bar as if she was about to share a secret. She leaned her body over the table, took Mimi’s hands, and squeezed them tight.
“For the very first time since all this happened, you don’t look like a grief-stricken widow when you say Joel’s name out loud.”
“What do I look like then?”
“You look…how can I say this? Stormy, angry.”
Meg was one of the only people that Mimi was happy to let in to the deepest part of her soul. It was the way it had always been ever since they were children. They shared everything. All these years later, nothing had changed.
“Mimi, what is it? Do you know something? Tell me.”
Mimi reached into her bag and took out the birth certificate. She unfolded it and smoothed it out with her hand on the table.
Meg picked it up gently, as if it were a fragile sheet of glass that may shatter. She studied it closely, her face full of confusion.
“Mimi…I don’t understand?”
“Joel was Jake’s father. He had a kid and he never told me about it,” Mimi blurted, her anger rising to the surface.
“Holy shit! Joel?” Meg looked at the birth certificate once more. “Could there be a mistake?” she added.
“I wish, but I don’t think so.”
“Do you know the mother?”
“Yup. Well, I have briefly seen her. She didn’t care to give me the time of day. She must have known who I was. She wouldn’t even acknowledge me. It kills me. I don’t know anything or if Joel was in contact with her during our marriage.”
“Do you think Joel even knew?”
“How could he not?” Mimi said, her posture rigid. When she spoke, there was an angry edge to her tone.
Her eyes darkened. “The truth is, I have no idea who I married. I feel like I have lost him all over again because I’ve been living a lie.”
“I’m so sorry, Mimi, but I can’t say that you lived a lie. You and Joel were in love, there was no denying that.”
“But he lied to me!”
“He just didn’t tell you. It’s slightly different from a lie, and, like I say, how do you even know he knew? I’m just playing devil’s advocate here, but perhaps this was a secret to him as well as to you.”
Mimi had never explored this possibility. She knew the only person that would have the answers would be Austin. She vowed to herself, in that very moment, she would find out the truth and would not stop until she got to the bottom of it all.
“Will you be all right here on your own?” Meg asked.
“I made it this far, haven’t I? I’ll be fine, Meg. Will you?”
“Yes. I just need to get back to London. Truth is, I miss my job, my flat, and mostly my bed. I’m sorry I can’t stay, Mimi. Texas just isn’t for me, although I can see why it’s for you.”
Mimi stood up and reached her arms out to Meg with the table wedged between them. The two friends needed to part ways and find their own path. They finished off their drinks and stepped into the car-park, the smell of engine fumes hanging in the air.
They headed to the car and sat in silence for a moment. They had been friends since they were children. Meg was always the troublesome, plotting, scheming little girl that lived next door. Together, they shared every first experience they had, whether it was a test at school or firsts with boys in their teenage years.
They had come a long way together. Their friendship was as solid and true as the day was light.
Mimi turned the key and brought the engine to life. She drove the car along the wide roads back to the B&B. She helped Meg pack her things and waited until she called the airline to confirm an earlier flight.
“I’ll take you to the airport,” Mimi offered.
“No, I want to get a cab. Go back to Austin as soon as you can and find out what you need to know.”
“Are you sure?”
“Certain. I will message you as soon as I land back in Blitey.”
The girls stood opposite one another. Mimi suddenly felt empowered and ready to walk this road alone for the first time without using Meg as an emotional crutch. She was grateful to her friend for getting her to this point, but she was now ready to fly solo.
Chapter 11
“Mimi, wake up! Mimi!” Austin repeated, his voice rising with panic. He stood over her, trying to pull her out of the nightmare she was having. Finally, she woke, her body sweaty from her night terror, her eyes struggling to focus.
“Joel,” she whispered.
Austin took a step back, his face twisted.
“It’s Austin, Mimi. And you were having a nightmare.”
He was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, his hair still wet from an early morning shower.
Once she came out of her dream, Mimi pulled herself up and looked at Austin. She stayed still. Her legs felt weak and she tried to steady her breathing.
The room felt warm. Austin walked to the window, pulled back the curtains, and pushed the window open. He looked back at Mimi, her hair in a tangled mess. She watched him from across the room.
When will you tell me what I already know?
His gaze locked on her.
“I can’t even remember what the dream was about. I’ve been having nightmares for months ever since Joel was deployed.”
“Did you still want to go riding? It’s a beautiful day for it,” he said, refusing to acknowledge Joel’s name.
“Yeah…I do,” she said.
“Okay, well, great. Get ready. I’ll meet you in the barn in an hour.”
He turned on his heel to leave her bedroom when she called after him.
“Austin, what about Jake? I mean, who will be taking care of him?”
“Sara,” he replied.
Sara. Jake’s mother and Joel’s…What had she been to Joel? United, always, because of the son they created together. A wave of jealously washed over Mimi. She saw her husband touching this beautiful woman. She imagined her pregnant, her stomach swollen with Joel’s child.
If Joel had told her about Jake, she wondered if it would have affected their relationship. Although Mimi was a jealous person by nature, knowing about Jake wouldn’t have stopped her being with Joel. It saddened her to think her husband was capable of turning his back on his own child.
An hour later, Mimi made her way across to the barn. She had her long hair tied back and opted for a pair of shorts and a long-sleeved t-shirt.
Austin was attaching the saddle when Mimi walked into the barn.
“Hey, Kelsa, how you doing, girl?” She stroked the horse.
“You have quite a connection with her.”
“Do I?” Almost immediately, Mimi regretted how off she sounded.
Austin shrugged his shoulders. Mimi knew she was acting differently, but she didn’t know if he would suspect for a single moment as to why. He would probably just assume her level of grief hit a new peak.
“We are going to go off track today through lots of woodlands. It’s going to be tiresome, but trust me, it will be worth it.”
Mimi managed to smile. She climbed on Kelsa with ease and watched Austin mount his black stallion, Troy. Together, they departed into a gentle canter. They rode down a path that entered a m
eadow covered in bluebells. The long grass had an array of several shades of green and yellow. It was quiet and peaceful. They hardly spoke, and when they did, it was only about which direction to take.
In the near distance, the sound of running water could be heard. Mimi’s mind flashed back to Yosemite, where she and Joel stopped at a waterfall. Her thoughts ran deeper. She remembered his lips on hers, how happy she felt there in that moment.
A bee buzzed close to Mimi’s face, disrupting her thoughts and taking her out of her memory. As she swatted the bee away, her grip loosened on the reins. She quickly lost her balance and started to slip backwards off the horse.
“Mimi!” Austin shouted.
A second later, she hit the ground with a thud. She felt an agonising pain in her right wrist. Austin jumped down and ran to her.
“It hurts,” she yelped.
“What hurts, Mimi? Look at me. Do you know who I am?”
“Austin, I haven’t hit my head. It’s my wrist.”
He reached out to her and gently took her forearm. He looked at her wrist to examine it further. It was crooked and swollen and most certainly broken.
“It’s broken. We need to get you to a hospital.”
“I can’t ride back.”
“We will have to walk. We’re not that far out.”
A single tear ran down her cheek. He moved his hand toward her face and then quickly snapped back. It was as if he was resisting wiping it away. She couldn’t read him, but it looked as if seeing her hurt stirred something inside him. She suddenly wondered if Austin was feeling something more for her.
“Why the hell did you let go, Mimi?”
“The bee—it was buzzing in my face. It freaked me out.”
“A bee won’t kill you, but falling could. I told you to be careful,” he said with emotion.
“Okay, Joel, calm down.” She immediately realised her mistake, but it was too late. Austin’s expression turned stormy.
“I’m not Joel. I’m nothing like him,” he snapped.
For the first time, Mimi burst into tears. “Actually, you’re just like him.”
He stepped back. His eyes burned into hers. “No. He may be my brother by blood, but he isn’t the perfect saint you have created in your head. He’s not who you think he is.”
“Yeah. I know!” she yelled. She sat on the ground with her knees pulled up to her chest, her white t-shirt caked in dust and dirt. Her wrist felt like it had a heartbeat of its own, thudding and throbbing.
“You don’t know shit.” Austin swallowed hard.
“I know that he’s Jake’s biological father. I know he hid it from me, just like you did.”
This surprised Austin and his iciness seemed to melt a bit. “How did you know?”
“Does it really matter? I know, and both of you kept secrets from me. So, how I see it, you Marcus brothers are really not that different after all.”
Silence hung between them. The midday sun beat down on them. Beads of sweat popped up on Austin’s forehead. He sat down on a nearby rock and put his head in his hands.
When he looked up, his face was twisted and strained.
“Mimi, Jake is my son in every definition of what being a dad is. I take care of him. I’m the one who tended to him when he woke up as a baby multiple times in the night—the colic, the colds, the mystery tummy bugs. I’m the one who works my ass off to provide for him to make sure he has the best life possible. I am his dad and nothing or nobody will ever change that.”
“But biologically?” she whispered. Mimi prayed there was a mistake and there was a logical explanation, but, as she searched his face, she knew her prayers would not be answered.
“Biologically, he belongs to Joel.” Austin lowered his head.
Mimi nodded and prepared to ask the most difficult question she had ever asked in her life. “Did Joel know about Jake? Did he know he was Jake’s father?”
“Yes.”
The three-letter word held a powerful punch.
Mimi never realized how much it could hurt to love somebody. She believed her relationship was true and pure, but she was living a lie. Her memories, every single one of them, were now forever tarnished. Every kiss they shared. Each time he touched her. Every time they laughed and made love. During all that time, Joel knew he was keeping a secret from Mimi. Did it mean he hadn’t loved her? If he loved her so deeply like he said, then why didn’t he tell her?
And now, here she was, sitting in dirt with a broken wrist and a broken heart.
“We gotta get you to a hospital, Mimi. Let’s go. We can talk more about this later.”
***
When they made it back to the car, they headed into town, taking the quickest route to the emergency room.
A knot of anger sat in Mimi’s stomach as she thought about all the times she and Joel discussed children. He had not once even hinted that he was keeping a secret. It all made sense now as she recalled each time she had suggested wanting to visit Texas with him and he had deterred her.
Why couldn’t you just be honest?
That’s the problem with a lie. To keep it alive, you have to keep feeding it with more lies until it’s so overfed that it becomes fat and out of control. Sooner or later, it will explode.
As they pulled into the hospital car-park, a light drizzle set on the windscreen. Mimi stepped out of the truck. She was careful not to knock her wrist.
The smell of the rain hitting the tarmac hung in the air. Austin walked to Mimi, offering to help her, but she pulled away. She didn’t want him to touch her.
Austin glanced at her. He looked like he was desperate to help, as she couldn’t conceal the pain she was in. Mimi felt lost and confused. She wondered if he regretted not sending her away when she arrived. If he let her go, she would never have known. She would never have found out the truth. In all those quiet moments, is that when he thought about telling her the truth? Had he even ever searched for the words?
He had raised Jake. To him, that little boy was his. Mimi figured that admitting to anybody else that Jake was not his biological son crushed him.
They walked in silence into the ER. There were a few people in the waiting area and no obvious emergencies. On the surface, it all seemed relatively calm.
“Do you have insurance?” the nurse at the desk asked Mimi.
“I have travel insurance, yes. It’s with…”
The nurse cut her short. “I’m afraid we don’t accept travel insurance.”
Mimi suddenly thought about the UK and how she had complained about the NHS in the past for the long waiting times and the disorganisation, but she was grateful for them. Getting treatment didn’t come down to a business transaction. It was about looking after a patient.
“I’ll pay for it. Here’s my credit card.” Austin handed it over.
“There are some forms to fill out while you are waiting.” The nurse attempted to hand Mimi a clipboard.
“She’s broken her wrist. She can’t exactly fill out a form,” Austin said as he raised an eyebrow.
The woman glared at Austin over the top of her bright red glasses.
“Then maybe you can fill it out on your wife’s behalf?”
Austin took the clipboard, keeping his gaze locked on the not-so-helpful nurse.
They took a seat in the waiting area.
“Thank you. I’ll pay you back.”
She leaned into her chair and her back touched the cool, concrete wall. Her head hung and she squeezed her eyes shut, grimacing through the short, sharp pains.
***
Austin
Austin sat with his arms crossed in front of him. He wanted to talk and expel the awkwardness, but he was too emotionally drained. When he received the news Joel had died, he was sad, but there was a part of him that felt like a burden had been lifted off his shoulders.
He decided that he would go through Jake’s childhood, not telling him that he was not his real father. The lie was like a cancer, eating away at him. Telling
Jake at this young age would serve no purpose. He didn’t have the emotional understanding to come away from the truth unscathed. Austin wondered what Jake’s life would have been like if Joel had taken responsibility for him, if he’d stayed with Sara. Now he wondered how Mimi’s life would have been. Joel was gone and he would never be able to explain his actions to Sara or Mimi.
After thirty minutes, Mimi’s name was finally called. Austin stood up with her.
“I’m all right. Just wait here for me.” She placed her hand on his shoulder, giving him a gentle push.
The doctor took her paperwork and scanned the information.
“Mrs. Marcus, your husband is welcome to come in.”
“That’s not my husband. He’s my brother-in-law.” The label brother-in-law sounded foreign to her. She felt like an imposter, borrowing somebody else’s life.
She allowed the doctor to examine her wrist. He confirmed it was fractured, but was sending her to the x-ray department to assess just how bad the break was.
Austin made a call to Sara, telling her he was going to be late picking Jake up. He hated having to leave him with her any longer than necessary. He was granted full guardianship over Jake. Sara didn’t fight. She’d pushed for it. The only reason she saw Jake on the weekends was out of nothing but guilt.
Mimi had been in with the doctor for forty-five minutes. Austin thought about her life with Joel and what their days together would’ve been like. She painted Joel to be the perfect saint, the perfect husband. He wondered what bullshit he fed her and how he copped out of ever bringing her back to his home. Then he thought of how gullible and naïve Mimi was. He felt pity for her, but he also felt irritated at how stupid she had been to fall for Joel’s lies and deceit.
Finally, Mimi emerged from around the white corridor, her wrist in plaster. Her usually tanned face looked pale.
“So, it’s broken.” Her voice was hoarse.
“Let’s get you back to the ranch. Before we do, we need to pick up Jake at Sara’s house.”
Till Death Us Do Part Page 9