"I know." I jumped as I heard his voice behind me, I turned to see his blue eyes watching me, and I fell against him, wrapping my arms around his neck.
"Are you really here?"
"No, my heart, you are dreaming." I clung to him harder, knowing it was true, this was all I would have now, dreams and memories.
"You feel real, this place feels real." I sighed, feeling the touch of his hand at my neck.
He gestured around him. There was a horse tethered, cropping grass close by, the sound of its teeth tearing at the grass just audible over the noise of the water cascading over the waterfall behind us. "This place is real, Jéhenne. This is where we first met, where we kissed for the first time." His hand went to my face and there was such longing in his expression that I caught my breath. "You told me to run, that the gods would punish us, but I wouldn't listen. Don't you remember?"
"No." I shook my head, looking around me and finding nothing familiar. "I want to remember so much, Corvus, I swear I do." I felt his arms close around me and though I knew it was just a dream it was so comforting I relaxed against him. "And now you wish you had listened."
I felt him shake his head. "No, my heart, I will never wish that, not truly."
I closed my eyes, wishing that were true and this wasn't just a dream. "I want to remember." I whispered again.
"It will come. One day you will remember." I looked up into cool blue eyes and felt my heart stutter.
"When it's too late you mean?"
He shrugged and stroked my hair, tucking a strand behind my ear. "You have choices to make, Jéhenne."
I shook my head, feeling the tears fall down my face. "I don't know what to do, Corvus. Whatever I do I lose something precious."
He leaned down and placed a kiss on my forehead. "Do what you always do ..." I looked up at him again and he smiled at me. "Follow your heart."
I awoke sobbing and miserable. Try as I might I couldn't return to the dream and unable to sleep at all, I tiptoed down to the herb room and took a sleeping draught. I had hoped that if I couldn't dream of Corvus, I wouldn't dream at all but instead this time I was tormented by dreams of a different kind, passionate dreams of burning and wanting, and the arms of a man I didn’t love.
For the next two next mornings I was grumpy and stressed, or at least more so than usual. I greeted Corin with barely a glance in his direction, staying as far from him as possible and jumping like I’d been electrified if he brushed against me. As usual he seemed aware of my thoughts, of the effect he was having but he didn’t act on it. He kept his word and gave me the time he had agreed to, though he watched me, a knowing look in those catlike eyes that was just as electrifying.
By the time Friday morning had arrived I was like a coiled spring. I was so uptight my shoulders and neck were stiff with tension and I could barely turn my head. I’d had no sleep, plagued by dreams that woke me sweating, my body aching for Corvus. At least that’s what I told myself when I was alone and awake. When I slept it was Corin who filled my dreams more and more insistently, and when he was near me now the temptation to touch him was getting harder to resist.
What the hell was wrong with me? This wasn’t me, I wasn’t like this. I loved Corvus and I knew in my heart that I didn’t want anyone else. Except I did. For all the heart ache and longing I felt for Corvus, for every moment my thoughts would return to him, to his face, to memories of being with him, other thoughts would worm their way in, as uncomfortable as a slut in Sunday school but there just the same, and I could no longer pretend they weren’t.
I heard Corin arrive and call me from the kitchen. Inés had left early to meet with Cain, who was trying to arrange a way to return the book to Aradia without anyone actually dying.
“Coming,” I yelled, dithering in my room. Anything to stay away from him for just a little longer. I sat on the end of my bed, biting nails that were already down to the quick. It had been a childhood habit that had returned when I came to France.
Eventually I stirred myself to get to my feet and face him but only because I knew he’d come up if I didn’t go down. I went down the stairs to find he’d put some water on the range to boil.
“Coffee?” he asked without looking around.
“Tea, please.”
He looked up with a small frown. “You never taught me how to make tea, only coffee.”
I smiled and took the tea pot down from the cupboard. May as well do it properly. I showed him how to warm the pot first before adding the tea leaves and the boiling water. He watched me, curiously until I poured out a cup and handed it to him. Our fingers brushed as he took it and I jumped, snatching my hand away too fast. His eyebrows rose though he said nothing, but his golden eyes were intent.
“You can add milk and sugar if you like.” I turned away, hoping he didn’t notice the tremor in my voice.
He sipped the tea cautiously and then held it out to me to add both.
"OK?" I asked as he tried it again and he nodded.
We drank our tea, a heavy silence hanging between us as I moved around the kitchen. I felt like there was some kind of current running between us, the atmosphere was so charged, but I didn't know how to break the tension. Unable to bear it a moment longer I put my mug down. "So, what are we doing today then?" I asked briskly.
There was a pause before he answered me and he put his mug down beside mine. "Well, Jéhenne, I thought we'd play a game." His eyes sparkled with mischief and he opened the kitchen door and walked outside.
Oh bloody hell.
I put my coat on and followed him out into the garden. There had been a heavy frost overnight and the countryside was dusted with sparkling white. Shoving my hands into my pockets I wished I'd picked up my gloves as I walked over, narrowing my eyes at him. "What sort of game?"
"One where I am your enemy, intent on capturing you and doing you harm and you must escape my evil clutches."
"You're kidding, right?"
"Why would I do that? It is exactly the kind of situation you have found yourself in before now."
I folded my arms. "Yes and here I am, still alive."
He laughed and nodded. "True, my dear, but I fear it's more from luck than judgment." I rolled my eyes; I was so not in the mood to go haring through the woods. “What’s the matter, Jéhenne? Don’t tell me you are ready to concede you can’t beat me?”
I snorted with indignation. “Hardly! As long as you play fair, that is.”
“Oh, I have absolutely no intention of playing fair, dear one, where is the fun in that? Besides, someone who had your demise in mind will not do anything of the sort.” He was leaning against an apple tree. It was gnarled and ugly and the old thing had been dead for years. Inés had been muttering about chopping it down but she’d never had the time to do it. As he stood there he stretched his arm out and rested his hand on one of the twisted branches. “However, I don’t want you to play fair either. You may use any and all means to win.”
As he spoke the tree seemed to shudder gently and tiny buds burst from the dead twigs that were suddenly supple and bursting with life once more. I gasped as the buds opened, flowered and then rained down white and pink confetti which the wind snatched and tossed around our heads playfully. I laughed to see it, it looked so incongruous against the steel grey winter sky, as though it was snowing rather than showering us with apple blossom. The tree seemed to stretch its limbs, as though it had simply woken from a deep slumber rather than being raised from the dead, and the leaves thrust out, lush and green and bursting with health. Corin reached up and plucked an apple as it ripened before our eyes and suddenly dozens of apples plummeted to the ground. He ducked, laughing, as the apples dropped around him and I laughed too, astonished and charmed by the beauty of what he had done.
He held the apple out to me. “It’s so good to hear you laugh, Jéhenne.”
I took it and smiled. “It’s good to have something to laugh about,” I admitted. “That was beautiful. I didn’t know you could do that.”
>
"Oh, I'm full of surprises." His eyes twinkled merrily. "As you would discover if you gave me a chance."
Above us the leaves changed colour, falling softly in drifts, covering the frozen ground at our feet with a thick carpet in tones of orange and russet and a deep tawny gold. I caught one as it fell and held it out. “It’s the same colour as your eyes.”
He took the leaf from my hand and spoke softly in his strange, lyrical language that sent the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end with the deep magic of the words. In his hand the leaf shone white for a moment and as he held it up I saw it turn to gold.
“Oh my God! Should I call you Midas or something?”
He chuckled and shook his head. “Sadly no, I can only turn quite small items, believe me. Once the treasury discovered I could do it as a child my life was no longer my own until I convinced them of this fact.”
I wondered what his life had been like growing up and then decided I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to become fond of this man. If I had to use him to serve a purpose then I had to but I wouldn’t let it become more than that.
“Here.” He held the leaf out to me. “A gift.”
I shook my head. “Oh no you don’t.” He had almost caught me before by giving me gifts, even the smallest token accepted from an elf would eventually give them power over you as if you accept three, you belonged to them, body and soul, they could command you to do as they bid. I had already two to my name.
“No tricks, Jéhenne, my word of honour, you may accept it without fear. I would like you to have it.” I had asked Inés and she had said that if Corin gave his word he would keep it and I could trust him, so there seemed little harm in accepting his gift.
“Thank you.” I took it from him, stroking the thin gold between my fingers, it was incredibly fine. “It’s beautiful.”
He took a step closer to me. “A party trick, nothing more. You however, you are very beautiful indeed.” He reached out a hand and touched my hair, twisting a thick strand around his fingers.
“Don’t.” I scowled at him, stepping quickly away.
“Why not? It’s true.”
“Because you don’t have the right to say it.” I put the leaf into my coat pocket and turned my back on him, staring out at the countryside around me. The grey clouds had broken and a little weak sunlight filtered through the clouds, sparkling on the frost that dusted the trees and grass.
I felt him step close up behind me but didn't turn around. "And where is the man that does?" he asked.
"Asleep, I would imagine."
"Ah, yes and tonight you will return to his arms ... Oh but no, Jéhenne, he has rejected you, hasn't he? So in fact, you are free, and I am at liberty to try and win you."
I turned around and gave him a hard shove and threw the apple back at him which he caught deftly. "I'm not a bloody lottery ticket, for crying out loud."
His eyebrows rose in surprise. "It wasn't a comparison I was trying to make."
"Why, Corin, why do you want me? You can't pretend that you're in love with me."
He leaned back against the tree with a sigh. "I have neither the intention or the desire to pretend anything, my dear. No, I do not love you and I never mean to, though in truth, I find I am very fond of you."
"How very reassuring." I sneered. "So why are you so eager for me to be your Queen if you don't and won't ever love me?"
"For that very reason." He smiled at my puzzled expression. "My father, the King has had his power taken from him by my Mother. She is the power in the land because he is too deeply in her thrall to ever say no to her. I will never suffer the same fate, my Queen will have all she could reasonably desire but she will not rule me or my Kingdom."
"How very romantic."
He shrugged. "Practical, and besides, we both know your heart is taken."
I stepped closer to him, curious to see his eyes. Was he really telling me the truth? "And that doesn't bother you? That I would never love you?"
There was flicker of emotion in his eyes but too brief to decipher. "I have no intention of marrying for love and it would be foolish to expect it in return. I need to marry, I need heirs, and I find that I like you." He reached out and grasped my wrist, pulling me closer. "More importantly however, I find that I desire you ...very much." His expression was intense and I snatched my wrist away before my own desires let him take advantage.
“I don’t want to do this today. I want the day off.”
Corin shook his head. “I told Cain I would train you.”
“You didn’t give your word though, so you can get out of it.”
He pursed his lips. “Perhaps I could if I wanted to but ...I don’t.” There was a wicked glint in his eyes and I knew that I wouldn't get out of it. He wanted to play his damn game.
“Oh for God’s sake! Fine, I’ll play your stupid game but if I win, I want ... I want another twenty four hours when I don’t have to see you.” I glared at him as the golden eyes watched me, and I tried to figure out the emotion there. For a moment I wondered if I’d hurt his feelings and decided against the idea- his ego maybe, but not his feelings.
“Very well,” he said, sounding a little sharper than usual. “But if I win, I get something too.”
I shifted uneasily, suddenly this didn’t seem like such a good idea. “What?”
He smiled, a sly smile that made my stomach flutter with nerves. “A kiss.”
My insides did a complete flip and I turned around so he wouldn't see me blush. “Oh, don’t be ridiculous. I’m not kissing you.”
“No,” he agreed. “You won’t ...if you win. Of course, if you don’t feel up to the challenge I think I shall have to make our sessions rather longer. Perhaps I should stay and spend the afternoons with you too?”
Me and my big bloody mouth. “Oh fine! Any and all means.”
He nodded and held out his hand. “A deal then.”
I took his hand and tried to ignore the electric rush as his skin made contact with mine. “A deal.” I nodded and went to pull my hand away but he held it fast.
“A proper kiss though, Jéhenne, no holding back.” His eyes glittered and I felt a thrill of fear and, if I was being really honest, something much more than that.
“Fine, but only if you can catch me.” I smirked at him and he laughed.
“Oh, I’ll catch you, have no fear, but to give you a fair chance I shall give you a head start; five minutes, don’t waste them.” He yanked me towards him and planted a kiss on my lips. “I don’t want to win my prize too easily.” I yelled in annoyance and shoved him away, running from him out of the garden and into the woods.
Chapter 23
I ran fast and hard, jumping over fallen branches, frost crunching and twigs snapping under foot. My breath clouded around my face as I ran, cheeks flushed and my hair streaming out behind me, snagging on brambles as I ran heedlessly onward, deeper into the forest.
I was beginning to get breathless when I heard movement to my right. I twisted my head fearfully to find my wolves running beside me. My heart swelled to see them again. They yipped and bounded at my side, playfully snapping at each other and growling with mock savagery, caught up in the joy of running free together.
One of them turned his head, baying, a sound that made my blood thrill, and I turned too, to see that Corin had already caught up with us. His eyes fell on the wolves with surprise but he laughed, easily covering the treacherous forest floor and closing the distance between us.
I dodged and doubled back, twisting past him, just out of reach and as he stretched out for me I threw a binding spell. My timing was a little off and it almost missed him completely but caught his foot, pinning it in place as though it had been nailed to the ground. He fell to his knees as his forward momentum was checked and I shrieked with triumph as I darted away from him.
The wolves and I ran and they howled triumphantly as I laughed, even though my lungs were bursting and my heart was thundering with exertion. My blood rushed
in my veins, their excitement and joy infectious and I careered though the undergrowth, careless of brambles and twigs that snatched at my clothes and hair. I heard a whistle behind me and turned to see Corin once more. Still moving forward I twisted and threw a fire spell that exploded close beside him but he leapt through the flames and I pushed on, wondering just how long I could keep this up.
Before I could consider the idea, the path in front of me was suddenly swallowed up as brambles thrust up out of the ground to create a cage around me. The wolves howled, and circled me anxiously but I sent fire blazing into the undergrowth, and we pushed though the smoke as the fire gave us an escape route. We were not free for long however as trees exploded out of the ground like fat spears, constantly blocking our path and I cursed and changed direction, time and again as he slowed us down.
Breaking from the woods we fled across a field, it had been thick with corn in the summer and the remaining sticks whipped against us as we ran. I stumbled over stones and mole hills while the wolves ran easily beside me, ever sure footed, just as Corin did behind me, apparently finding no difficulty with the terrain. He was way too close and I knew he was toying with me. He could have caught up by now and so I lunged back into the woodland, running until my lungs were burning and I could go no further.
I ducked behind a tree and saw that he was still close behind us. I threw another fire spell but he countered it, the flames hissing in midair as they hit the ice of his own magic. I tried another binding spell but he was too fast, dodging away at the last moment. I heard his laughter echo through the woods and I stood rooted to the spot, wondering what the hell to do next.
Over the pounding of my heart I heard the leaves crunching and saw him walking towards me, just a few feet away now. I sent another binding spell hurtling towards him but he waved his hand and it shattered in front of him in a burst of white sparks. Panicking, I engulfed him with another powerful fire spell, effectively trapping him within the flames. It blazed fiercely and I was wondering if I should tone it down before he roasted, when the fire died abruptly and he stepped out of the circle leaving a rim of frost in his wake.
The Heart of Arima. Page 18