"What? What is it?"
He carried on making the coffee. “Nothing.”
“I don’t believe you. You’ve got something on your mind.”
He frowned, putting two clean mugs on the work top. "I don't know, Jéhenne, but ..." He shook his head, turning back to the coffee pot.
"Tell me!"
He hesitated and then stepped towards me. "The man in your dreams, he's ..." He sighed and shook his head. "He's extraordinarily powerful, Jéhenne." I nodded, remembering the feeling of hopelessness he gave me; he was like nothing on earth. "It’s just that you have him, Corvus, and now the Prince of Alfheim too, and if the rumours about the Prince Corin turn out to be true ..." He stopped and I wanted to shake him.
"What?"
He shook his head again, frustrated. "I don't know, Nina but ... But so many powerful men dancing attendance on you. I mean, you're beautiful but ... But it doesn't make sense. What is it about you in particular that draws them?"
I wanted to cry but the injustice of it made me angry. “That’s what I’ve been saying all along! Why me? Did I do something terrible, am I being punished? Corvus said I spoke of a great destiny but that I could never have done whatever it was because I died. Is that it?”
Without me asking I saw Cain was making me a cup of tea. I guessed he figured I was overwrought as he mashed the tea bag to death and then spooned in sugar until the spoon could have stood of its own accord. Rodney would have approved. He handed me the mug and I sipped at it, trying to ignore the fact that my hand was shaking.
“I think that is certainly a part of it,” he said, “but something tells me it is more than that. If that was all it was I don’t think it would be so personal between you. You clearly had a relationship with this man and a man like that wouldn’t choose just anybody, so the thing I want to know is ...who are you ...really?”
I froze, looking over the top of my tea at him. “What do you mean? I’m Jéhenne; I’m your sister. You’re not telling me you think I’m some kind of imposter because believe me when I tell you no one, in their right frigging mind, would choose to live this life!”
He grabbed a packet of biscuits from the cupboard and sat down at the kitchen table with his coffee. “No, of course not, you’re Jéhenne and Jéhnina. Believe me you haven’t changed.”
I pulled out a chair and sat down. “Corvus thinks I’ve changed.” I looked at him, really looked, to see if there was any emotion in those eyes of his but they were still as hard and cold as green marble. I could hear the affection in his voice though, and that was a rare thing.
“He’s wrong.”
I smiled at him and laid my head in my hands. “I want him back, Cain. I have to get him back.”
“You will.”
My head came up and I felt hope leap in my heart. “I will? How?”
He shrugged and sipped his coffee, his large calloused hands swallowing the mug within their grasp. “Because he’s all you’ve ever wanted, he’s everything you fought for, you died to protect him. You could have killed the men that took you that day, you could have erased the whole army with little more than a thought but if you had, you would have drawn attention to the fact you really were a witch, and I imagine whatever your great destiny had been, that wasn’t the outcome they would have wanted. Then not only would Corvus have been taken and punished for consorting with a witch, and he would have died horribly, but he would also have been punished in the afterlife for having interfered with whatever it was you were supposed to do.” He put his mug down on the table and pursed his lips. “I have no idea what it is to love someone to that degree, Jéhenne, and for the heartache it’s caused you I pray I never will but ... I know it doesn’t end here.”
I swallowed with difficulty; I seemed to have a lump in my throat. “How do you know that?” I whispered.
“Because you won’t let it.”
I smiled at him and reached out to squeeze his hand. He didn’t respond to the gesture but somehow I felt it had pleased him just the same. “You’re right, I won’t give up, not ever but how can I expect him to forgive me for this?” I looked over at the flames that were still dancing merrily, oblivious to the fact that their revelations were tearing my life apart. “I had been scrying in the flames, when you came in.”
“I know.” He took a biscuit out of the packet and popped the whole thing in his mouth. I took one as well, realising I had barely eaten a thing all day, and then just turned it in my hands as I realised I would never be able to swallow it.
“I saw the child again. He’s so beautiful, Cain and ... And so powerful. He took my breath away.” He nodded and I knew he had seen what I had. “But ...”
He sat forward with a frown. “But?”
“But something wasn’t right, there’s something just ... Shit!” I cursed, frustrated. “I don’t know, Cain, I don’t know what but ...something.” I wondered if he knew what I meant, if he had that feeling too. I just couldn’t tell as his expression gave nothing away. “What do I do? I promised Corin that I’d tell him the truth tonight, about what’s going on and once he knows ... Well let’s just say I don’t think the timing is going to be an issue.” The chances of me not being pregnant in the next twenty four hours would be slim to none.
“There is only one thing you can do, Jéhenne.”
I looked up hopefully, praying he would tell me to run away or go back to Corvus, even though I knew I couldn’t and wouldn’t do it.
“Listen to your instincts.” He sat up straighter, green eyes piercing. “From everything I’ve seen, from everything you’ve told me, that child is important and it would appear that this weekend is crucial to the path you choose but in the end, Jéhenne, every decision is yours to take. Just remember, every decision has a consequence.”
“Yeah,” I said bitterly. “You said some you win, some you lose, but whichever decision I make, Cain ... I lose.”
Once Cain had gone I showered and washed my hair, telling myself this was just my normal preparation for going to a party, which it was. It was also far more than that. My hands shook as I put my eyeliner on and it took a couple of attempts to get it right. I hunted in my wardrobe for something to wear, sparing a thought for Lucas as the last time I’d seen him he’d been in it. I wondered what had become of him. I’d never asked Inés as to be honest, as long as he wasn’t mooning over me like an adoring puppy dog or trying to kill me, I really didn’t much care.
I hooked out a short red dress and held it up against me. It had been a present from Inés. She’d spent a small fortune on clothes a few weeks back and I think she felt bad that I had no money to get something for myself. It had been a lovely thought, especially as Inés didn’t often think of others but the downside was that it had been her choice, and her choice tended to be rather shorter and sexier than I would go for. If I was going to be a scarlet woman this weekend though, and that was definitely the way I felt about it, then I may as well dress the part.
To be fair it wasn’t that bad. It was a deep red, not actually scarlet, so it didn’t clash with my hair quite so badly, and was in a soft, velvet material. It had long sleeves and a sweetheart neckline that dipped low and though it was short it wasn’t indecent. It felt kind of Christmassy because of the colour, and the realisation that Christmas was coming and I wouldn’t be spending it with Corvus as I’d hoped filled me with such sorrow that I had to sit on the bed and breathe deeply for a moment to stop myself from bawling my eyes out. The best thing about the dress, however, was that I had never worn it for Corvus, and I hadn’t shopped for it with him in mind. Either of those things just seemed too crass, not that it made what I was going to do any better in any way.
I looked at myself in the mirror. Well, Corin would approve, I was in no doubt of that. I stared into my own eyes. They looked as dead and empty as Cain’s did and I wondered if I’d ever be able to look at myself again after tonight. I was about to betray everything I believed in and the worst part was, as guilty and miserable as I felt ab
out that, I knew I was going to enjoy it too.
I heard a horn blare outside as my taxi arrived and I went downstairs. Inés was still sulking in her herb room and I really didn’t want any words of encouragement, so I went straight out and gave the driver Claudette’s address.
It wasn’t far but I didn’t want to leave my car there and have Claudette know I went home with someone else, and there was no way I was walking in these heels. The driver pulled up outside and I paid him, hearing the music blaring from Claudette’s house.
There were people arriving in groups and in couples, laughing and chatting and they walked to the front door. Their lives appeared to be so simple and carefree and though I knew it probably wasn’t as straightforward as that, I wondered what it would be like to be Claudette. No magic powers, no prophecies and visions, no destiny that could change the bloody world if you got it wrong. I guessed I would never know. So I took a deep breath, and pretended I was just another girl going to a party like all the others here, and went inside.
Chapter 25
“Jéhenne, are you OK?”
“Great, thanks!” I yelled at Claudette over the music. She was looking at me anxiously. “At least I will be once you hand over that bottle.”
I’d been about to fill my glass when it had been snatched away. Claudette looked at me then the bottle and frowned. “Are you sure you’re OK, where’s Corvus? Isn’t he coming?”
I forced a smile to my face and it felt brittle and false, like it belonged to someone else. “No, he couldn’t make it but don’t worry, a friend’s picking me up later. I’ll be fine.”
I grabbed the bottle back and she sighed. “Are you sure?”
“Positive.” I managed to say it without slurring too badly and thankfully her attention was taken by her friend Jade who was laughing too loud and flirting outrageously with Claudette’s boyfriend, so she left me with a muttered curse to defend her territory and I wandered back into the fray.
The music thudded, the beat so deep and insistent I could feel it through my body, a steady thump as much a part of me as my own heartbeat. The alcohol burned in my blood and my brain felt pleasantly fuzzy. I closed my eyes and moved to the music. I didn’t mind dancing by myself tonight, didn’t care what anyone thought, which was unusual for me; normally I was inhibited about dancing but not now. Tonight I felt like I was some ancient priestess dancing for her goddess before the big sacrifice, the only problem being that I was the sacrifice. Admittedly my fate didn’t look in anyway unpleasant. In fact if the vision was anything to go on, I’d say what a way to go, except ... Except that it would still break my heart, and once that shining moment was over, there would just be me and the child and Corvus would never want to see me again.
I closed my mind against such thoughts. I wouldn’t think of him, couldn’t if I was going to go through with this, and I had to. Something terrible would happen if that child didn’t exist and quite apart from that, the very idea of him never being born ... It filled me with a grief so overwhelming I simply couldn’t bear it.
I decided I was still way too sober after all and pushed back through the crowds to the bar. I had no idea how much I’d had, a realisation which would normally worry me. I found the bottle of whisky and tipped a large measure into the glass, downing it with a grimace. I looked up to see Jean-Pierre was dancing with a pretty blonde and he grinned at me, raising the beer bottle in his hand in a salute. I lifted my empty glass in return and then put it back, moving unsteadily through the throng once more, until I found space enough to move in. I had no idea Claudette and Jean-Pierre knew so many people, the place was heaving. I saw Claudette smiling dreamily at the boy next door as he led her from the room and I sighed. I couldn’t say anything, I had tried to warn her. It was so clearly going to end in tears but who the hell was I to be handing out romantic advice? It wasn't as if I had any clue what to do.
I began to dance again, feeling the whisky burn at the back of my throat, warming me from the inside out. Not that I was cold. With the dancing and the press of bodies the atmosphere was thick and claustrophobic. As I danced I began to be aware of a strange sensation, building and growing closer. My senses tingled, everything on alert as I recognised the thrill of magic, of truly great power. It washed over me, making me shiver and suddenly ...I knew he was here. Everyone seemed to feel it, though they wouldn’t have recognised what it was, but the atmosphere was charged, everyone’s emotions ramped up as the magic slid over their skins. They moved with abandon, with unrestrained joy and my heart skipped, fear and anticipation making me breathless.
The rumours that Heloïse had spoken about were true, Corin did hide his power. Tonight though he was making an exception, putting on a display for me and I smiled despite myself, pleased that he felt he needed to at least.
Bloody hell, I must be drunk after all.
The lights flickered and went out and there were screams and ooohs and shrieks of laughter and I stood rooted to the spot, knowing it was his magic that had shorted the electricity supply. Someone must have found the breaker and flicked the switch as suddenly the music blared again and the lights flicked on as everyone cheered, and I found Corin standing right in front of me.
We both stood motionless, eyes locked, staring at each other while the crowd began to dance again, even wilder than before. I felt his hand on my waist as he pulled me closer.
"Dance with me," he said.
Well I guess I had to start somewhere. I closed my eyes and pretended he wasn't there, dancing like I had before, apart from him, though his hand remained at my waist. I moved with the music as though there was nothing else in the world, nothing else that mattered. I wasn't sure what did matter anymore anyway. My head was a mess, a snarl of thoughts and emotions I had no hope of untangling, so what the hell did anything matter?
At first he didn't touch me further but let me dance, though I could feel his eyes on me as clearly as though his hands had taken their place, and I soon realised that I couldn't pretend Corin away.
He was impossible to ignore.
He had moved behind me now, his hands on my hips and his body pressed against mine as we danced and I felt the heat of his hands, burning through the material of the dress. I gave up and opened my eyes and gasped as I saw the bright light around us, his magic and mine entwined in colour and swirling patterns. I stopped, transfixed and looked around at him anxiously.
"It's alright," he said, his lips close to my ear. "They can't see it."
I turned to face him and he kept his arms around me. "That's quite a secret you've been keeping," I said against his ear.
He moved one hand to my face, looking at me intently. "I told you, I'm full of surprises." He didn't drop his gaze and in the end I had to look away but he lifted my head so I had to look at him again. "Come, Jéhenne. Time to go."
I felt him take my hand in his and I followed him obediently as he made his way back through the crowd. As drunk as I was I could still see the covetous looks he was given by every female he passed. Take him, I thought bitterly, you have his bloody baby, but even as the words appeared in my mind I knew I didn't mean it, not entirely anyway. I sent a longing look at the bar. I'd drunk more than I ever had in my life and yet somehow I still felt way too sober to get through tonight. I would have the hangover from hell in the morning, except I guessed Corin could take care of that for me with his healing powers ...as I'd be waking up with him.
The thought made me stop in my tracks and he turned to look at me quizzically. I swallowed and forced a smile and made myself walk forward once more, though not very steadily.
"Did you have a coat?" he asked and I frowned at him. The question seemed far too mundane with what was happening in my life right at this moment. Did I have a coat? I shrugged.
"Don't remember."
He pulled me closer. "Come on, I'll keep you warm enough." It was said with a smile that made my skin heat and I had to accept the truth of his words.
We got outside and I shivered as the f
reezing air hit my bare skin; the dress had not been designed with warmth in mind. He slipped off his jacket and put it over my shoulders and I muttered a thank you as he led me to his car.
A bright red, flashy sports car sat by the kerb. I raised my eyebrows at him and he shrugged with a grin. “Best I could do at short notice.”
“Where did you get it?” I asked as he opened the door for me.
“I ...borrowed it.” He closed the door with a smile and I decided I was far from caring what that meant.
He got in and the engine purred to life and I watched Claudette’s house disappear from view.
“Relax, Jéhenne.” He was looking at my white knuckles grasping the edge of the seat with amusement, and it wasn’t because of his driving.
“Can’t see that happening anytime soon,” I muttered. If I could drink that much and still be freaking out, there really was no hope.
“We’ll see,” he replied softly and I felt my stomach clench.
It wasn’t far to his house sadly and before I knew it we had pulled up outside an elegant Maison de Maitre. I just sat there, rigid, glued to my seat as he got out and walked around the car to open my door. He gave me his hand and I took it, trying to suppress the shiver that even that little contact gave me. There was a knowing look in his eye though and I knew he felt it just as I did.
I walked to the front door, feeling his hand at the small of my back, just the lightest touch but every one of my senses seemed totally focused on it. He opened the door and held it open for me.
“Welcome to my home, Jéhenne.”
I paused on the threshold for a moment ...and then stepped inside.
It was warm and welcoming, lamps placed in dark corners giving a warm glow to the place. He led me to a large living room hung with heavy brocade curtains which I guessed covered French doors to the garden, and a fire blazing in the big stone hearth. The furniture was old, obviously antique and, even to my inexperienced eye, of beautiful quality.
The Heart of Arima. Page 20