There was a long pause in the conversation. Seth leaned against the headboard. He smirked and rested his hands on her waist. “So you wanted me to take advantage you?”
“I just told you that, didn’t I?”
“I know everyone has told you there’s something wrong with people with money. I want to know, in your heart, did you want me to make love to you last night?”
She looked away. She understood where he was going with this, but she didn’t like it. Damn it, he was starting to sound like her therapist. He was always searching for truth she wasn’t ready to reveal.
Tatum sighed. She didn’t want to admit what she was about to say. “Yes, I want to have sex with you, but I’m not ready.”
“I didn’t ask if you were ready. I asked if you wanted to.”
“Yes. What does that have to do with anything?”
“It helps me know that there’s something at the end of the rainbow.” He caressed her waist.
She frowned. “Sex?”
“You,” he corrected her. “Sometimes I can’t tell if you’re just going along for the ride or if you feel something.”
Tatum stared at him. She couldn’t believe what he was saying. “You think I’m with you because I want—”
“To experiment?” he questioned. “Yes.”
Chapter 9
It was another surprise visit. Karla had been having a good day until her boss entered her office. His smiling face scared her as it always did because there was malice in that grin of his. Mr. Gault started talking before she could form her thoughts. He was now worried about the Carter account.
“I heard from a source at MPR that they were close to re-signing Carter.”
Karla didn’t know how to respond. She hadn’t heard anything like that. If it was true, she was going to lose her job. Suddenly, she saw her life flash in front of her eyes like this news was a life or death experience. She envisioned working the rest of her life in a labor job somewhere. She was going to be sick. They’d depended on her to close the deal. Now, she was about to lose it all, even with a deal with Seth seemingly on the table.
Karla rushed from her seat and walked around her metal desk, ready to battle. “Mr. Gault, I swear I am not going to lose this account. I swear.”
“I don’t need you to swear. I need results.” He smiled.
“I know. I know.” Karla began to panic.
“Do I have to remind you how important this account is Karla? For you and for me?”
She shook her head until she was dizzy. “No, sir. I know.”
“Then do something about it.”
“I’m working on it. Trust me. I will have this account delivered on a silver platter for you.” That’s after I use the same platter to serve up Tatum to Seth.
Her boss paused, his smile still plastered on his face but a moment of hesitation obvious in his eyes. She didn’t think he felt comfortable with the answer. Karla envisioned being fired and started sending out resumes in her mind.
“That’s good, Karla. Then I expect you will bag the account.”
He walked out of the office. She couldn’t believe what had happened. She didn’t understand it either. Her boss had added more pressure. She just prayed Tatum and Seth were somewhere having sex.
“Are you experimenting?”
The question stunned her again. Tatum couldn’t envision the answer. She’d never seen herself as anything but a victim. Now, she was being forced to see herself in a different way. She knew, however, she couldn’t ignore the answer this time. Dr. Bev wouldn’t allow her to ignore it.
“I pray that I’m not.”
“What does experimenting mean to you?”
“Experimenting means not caring about the other person,” she explained. “I compare it to looking at cheat sheets when you need to study for a big exam.”
“Good. That was a clear explanation.” Dr. Bev paused to write in the notebook.
Tatum continued like Dr. Bev never spoke. “Now I’m terrified that I’m experimenting. I’m worrying if I’m doing this for the right reasons.”
“What are the wrong reasons?”
Tatum knew the answer. “Being with Seth just to be with a white man and making sure I hurt him before he hurts me.”
“So you can say everyone was wrong and you were right. So you can say that you didn’t get hurt,” Dr. Bev concluded.
She felt a great burden lifted. “Exactly. I just don’t want to hurt Seth.”
“Then you care about him?” Dr. Bev asked.
Tatum shrugged, refusing to let her feelings be her guide. “I’m not sure.”
Tatum left the office, unsure if she could go through with it.
She hadn’t seen Seth in almost three months.
She claimed to have a heavy workload. She didn’t think Seth believed her, but he humored her. He kept calling though. He called her at work and home. Tatum had finally given in and agreed to lunch. Once again, she was arriving at Score…reluctantly.
Gabby quickly approached. Her smile made Tatum uneasy. She wasn’t sure why. It reminded her of the night she met Seth — Gabby had watched his every move like she was his overseer.
“It’s so nice to see you again. Tatum isn’t it?” Gabby slowly showed her to the table.
Tatum nodded. “Yes.”
She sat and reached for the menu. Gabby, however, continued to hold it. “I can’t believe Seth…Mr. Carter is finally dating. Trust me, it’s past time.”
Tatum didn’t respond. She knew Gabby wanted some information.
“I guess he’s probably taken you on a trip and showed you the ropes of the business.”
“No,” was all Tatum said, placed her hands on the table. She shifted uncomfortably in her chair, feeling like she was being questioned by the police. Gabby opened her mouth to speak. Unfortunately for her, Seth approached them.
He didn’t give his hostess a second look as he grabbed the menus from her hands. “That will be all. Thank you,” he said brusquely. Once seated, Seth started the conversation. He studied Tatum until she looked away. “So this is what you look like?”
Tatum grabbed a menu from him and pretended to look at it. “Very funny. I said I was busy.”
“Whatever you say.” Seth’s tone was sarcastic.
Tatum felt weird. It was the first time she was on the defensive. She had to think about a lot since their last date, and she still couldn’t decide if she was experimenting. Why, after all these years, would you want to try to have a relationship with a white man now? She had asked herself that question continually. It didn’t make sense to her.
Silence shrouded the table. They ordered and more silence followed. They ate in silence. The waiter took the empty plates away. There was more silence. The waiter gave them dessert. More silence.
“You really talk too much.”
Tatum shrugged. “It’s your fault.”
He almost choked while drinking. “Now, this is what I’m used to.”
She took a sip of her water. “You gave me a lot to think about.”
“Well?”
She knew her therapist would be proud of her for what she was about to admit. “I think I want to know the same thing. I wish I was certain, but all I can do is…”
“Is what?” He leaned forward, hanging onto every word.
She leaned back, feeling forced to be honest. “Follow my heart.”
He took his time to ask the next question, letting the silence hang between them as he ate his dessert. Tatum wondered if he cared. Had he already assumed she was breaking up with him? If he did, she’d have only herself to blame.
Seth didn’t seem satisfied by her announcement. “Do I have to ask, or are you going to tell me?”
Tatum was going to comment on his condescending attitude, but she decided against it. She decided she didn’t care. Instead, she stared at her dessert. “I want to be with you.”
“Okay.” He winked at her. “You plan our next date.”
She stared
at him. “Now you’re giving orders.”
“No. I planned every time we saw each other previously. Now it’s your turn.” He shrugged.
“Whatever happened to being romantic?” The question was more like an interrogation.
Seth seemed amused by the question. “That goes both ways.”
“You’re saying I’m not being romantic?”
Seth pretended to think about it. “Nope.”
She defended herself. “I’ve kissed you before.”
“Oh?” He laughed. “Was that because you were happy to see me or surprised I found you?”
“You can’t plan romance.” Tatum sidestepped the question. Guilt leapt through her body and she didn’t know why. It wasn’t like they were teenagers who’d been caught kissing.
Seth leaned over and kissed her. His lips pressed against her seconds before he slid his tongue into her mouth, and she welcomed the sweet taste of his coffee on tongue as she deepened the kiss. Tatum was glad she was sitting because it made her knees shake. It was a long, sweet kiss, and she ran her fingers through his hair as he deepened it, not ready for him to pull away.
“I think my point is proven.” Seth smirked.
“Fine, I’ll plan the next date. Just be on time and bring wine.” Lord knows I’m going to have to get drunk that night.
Seth wasn’t going to take the call, but he decided to humor her. She was going to keep calling until he did anyway. He leaned back in his cushioned chair in his office. Placing his feet on his desk, Seth waited.
“Seth, how are you today?”
“Karla,” he said dryly, flipping through a golf magazine.
“I was just calling to see how things were going between you and Tatum.”
Seth began reading an article, bored with the conversation already. “Isn’t she your friend?”
“Of course!” She sounded insulted. “I have asked her the same question.”
Now, Seth was interested. “What did she say?”
“She told me that she…” Karla stopped talking.
“I’m busy.” Seth threw the magazine on his desk. He was disinterested again. Karla wasn’t being much use to him right now. However, he decided to give it one more chance. “So, if you just want to breathe into the phone, I suggest you call someone else.”
“No,” she told him frantically. “I… In the beginning, she was going to go on the date then break it off, but we talked, and I convinced her to change her mind.”
He was unsure if she was talking about May or September.
He picked up a different golf magazine. “Have you talked to her recently?”
“Not about you.”
“And you believe she has changed her mind.”
Karla didn’t hesitate. “Yes. She was actually excited about your date and making a go at it.”
Seth didn’t believe her. “Really?”
“Yes, really.” Karla stressed her words so he would know how emphatically she meant them.
“Good.” Seth decided to tell her what she needed to know. “The account is yours as long as Tatum continues the relationship.”
Karla was relieved. “You won’t regret it.”
Seth hung up the phone without replying. He looked at his watch. Tatum was supposed to let him know the details of their next date. He actually had no idea what she would come up with. Then he thought about Karla. He couldn’t believe she was hounding him about the deal. She should just make it happen and not worry him about it.
There was a knock on the door, and then Ralph entered the office. “Are you busy?”
“No.” He threw the magazine aside.
“I just wondered when you were going to make the decision.”
“I haven’t had the time. I interviewed what’s-her-name and she was a total disaster. So it looks like the job is yours as long as you keep up the good work.”
Ralph nodded. Seth ran his hand through his hair and struggled to make conversation with his employee. He didn’t quite understand why it was so tough. They’d never had a problem talking before. However, he felt relieved when he thought of something. Even though it was a little over two months after the event, he commented, “Uh, I heard the Juneteenth booth was a success.”
“Yeah, I think it helped you out a lot.” Ralph sounded relieved and shoved his hands into his uniformed pants.
Seth nodded. “Good.”
Ralph said, sounding like he was forcing excitement in his voice, “The couple who won the free dinner will be here a week from Tuesday.”
Seth nodded again. He tried to pretend he cared. Then a thought occurred to him. “Are you up for some additional duties?”
Ralph was surprised and it showed in his tone. “Sure.”
“I’m going out of town next week, so you’ll be responsible for Score.”
“That’s fine with me. I can definitely do the job.”
“Good.” Seth was positive Ralph could do the job, but he wasn’t ready to let the job go. Score, after all, was his baby.
Ralph opened the door to leave. “Thanks again.”
Tatum lit candles then immediately blew them out. She didn’t want the candles to melt before Seth arrived. Romantic? Tatum didn’t know how to plan romance. It was supposed just happen.
Dressed in a short black dress and black heels, she waited. Nervous. She wanted this to be over. The meal was cooked and she just needed the man, but then the knock on the door made her want to run in the opposite direction. Maybe if she was real quiet, he’d think he had the wrong apartment. You can’t do that. It’s not nice. But, it’s safe.
“Tatum?”
She walked to the door like she was walking to her execution, taking deep breaths. You’ve lain in bed with this man. You can’t be afraid now.
Tatum unlocked the door and slowly turned the knob. The dread returned. Something bad was going to happen tonight. She knew it.
Once the door opened, her heart soared. Seth looked sexy. He was dressed in dark blue cotton shirt and black slack with red roses in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other. His bright blue eyes sparkled with anticipation.
“You look stunning.” Seth kissed her.
“Make yourself comfortable. Dinner is ready.”
She hurriedly attended to the roses like they were going to wilt in seconds, more nervous than she thought. Seth opened the wine and handed her a glass.
“So is this what you envisioned?” They walked to the living room.
He smirked. “The night is still young.”
“Do you want to eat first or talk?”
He shrugged. “I’m following your lead.”
She decided they would eat. The quicker they did that, the faster Seth would leave.
Tatum quickly placed dinner on the kitchen table. They talked over dinner.
“Are you close to your parents?”
Tatum wasn’t expecting the question. She told herself she wasn’t ready to talk about them yet, but she heard herself answering almost against her will. “No. They died in a car crash my senior year in college.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“I think that’s why it’s so tough to get past my fears. Some of the people who created this problem aren’t around.”
“Do you think you would have told them about us if they were alive?”
Tatum tapped her fingers on the oak table as she thought. She wasn’t thinking about how to answer the question. It was more important to figure out how to sidestep the question. “I hope so.”
“So,” Seth paused to drink more wine, “am I your first interracial relationship?”
Tatum rolled her eyes. She didn’t think she was going to hear that question again. “We’re back to that again?”
Seth chuckled. “Just say so.”
“Yes and no.”
He shook his head. “Is that your answer to everything?”
“There’s never a clear-cut answer to anything.”
“Yes, there is,” Seth disagreed.
/> She stopped tapping and picked up her fork.
“Try me. Ask me a question,” he challenged.
“Okay, how about,” Tatum ate while she thought, “were you always attracted to black women?”
“Yes. My mother thinks it started with my Janet Jackson poster.”
She laughed. “I don’t think I’ve ever met a man — black or white — who didn’t have a crush on Janet Jackson.”
“Is there anyone in your family who wouldn’t have a problem with us?”
“I never really thought about it.” Tatum stood and cleared the table. Seth went to her CD player in the living room and chose something soft and romantic.
As she joined him in the living room, Seth extended his right hand. “Shall we dance?”
Tatum took his hand and began slow dancing, placing her arms around his neck, melting in his embrace. Seth pulled her closer and she closed her eyes, submerged herself in his touch. He caressed her body as they danced. It reminded her of the hug.
God, he feels so good.
The song ended. He kissed the nape of her neck. Tatum pulled away and looked up at him. Biting her lip, she decided to do it. She licked her lips and kissed him. Seth placed his hands on her behind, pushing her hard against him.
Tatum broke the kiss, trying to figure out if she should follow her heart. She needed him. She wouldn’t be complete unless he was inside her.
Forget them, she boldly thought. They won’t keep me warm at night. He will.
He broke the kiss, rested his hands on her waist, and studied her. “Are you okay?”
Now was the time. She wanted him so badly, she could scream. “That night at the restaurant, you said you would let me use you to prove I had nothing to worry about.”
“Well?”
Tatum didn’t care what anyone thought. This was the time she was going to have fun. It was just the two of them in her apartment. Two consenting adults. “What if I wanted to have sex with you tonight?”
Seth didn’t hesitate. “Then I would say I’m not interested.”
The Score Page 8