“Think about some ways you can actually reunite with Seth.”
Karla was relieved when her visitor arrived. Her hopes were high that it would be over. She’d tried to wait for her visitor to call, but he never did. So Karla called him.
She hurriedly tried to be the best hostess and offered refreshments or food. He took a beer. Clearly, he was in his own world.
He drank half before making an excuse. “I apologize. I usually don’t drink.”
“Ralph, you’re certainly not the first man to drink in my presence.”
“I can’t believe that bastard.”
Karla wasn’t feeling so positive. “The settlement conference started off rough?”
“World War Three would have been easier.”
Her hopes dashed, she asked, “He was a total ass?”
“My lawyer said they weren’t even willing to deal. They wanted me to drop the case. Now my lawyer isn’t as excited about the case as he was before.”
“Ouch.”
“Yeah, ouch.”
“Isn’t that bad faith or something? You know, to go into a settlement conference knowing you’re not going to settle?”
Ralph shrugged. “He knows that I know, but he knows I can’t prove it. What a fucking bastard.”
Karla was lost, sure anyone listening to him wouldn’t know what he was talking about.
She cautiously glanced around the room wondering if he was talking to someone she didn’t see. “I’m confused. What does Seth know that you can’t prove?”
Ralph slammed the bottle on the wooden table. “I know he knows about me and Gabby. I bet you anything that he found out when he was about to promote me.”
“You were having sex with that…”
He stared at her. Ralph’s expression told her to watch how she categorized Gabby. Karla cautiously continued. “You and Gabby are dating.”
“It’s more than that,” he corrected.
Karla was stunned. Gabby was Cincinnati’s town crier when it came to her relationship with Seth. Actually, she thought Gabby had no tact. Apparently, she was wrong.
Karla tried not to ask but failed. “How long have you two been… together?”
Ralph relaxed when he talked about Gabby. A smile quickly appeared and disappeared before he answered. “It started about June of last year. I was surprised.”
“Why?”
“I’d asked her out a couple times over the years, but she said no.” He shrugged sheepishly.
“What changed her mind?”
“Probably that son-of-a-bitch Carter. He loves treating women like toilet paper.”
She cringed when she thought about Tatum. “I thought she was trying to get back with Seth.”
He shook his head. “She was trying to get my job back. She thought if she pretended to be interested in him, he would promote me. I was against it. I hated it, in fact, but she’s her own woman.”
Karla thought Gabby wasn’t her own woman so much as she was a good con-artist. However, she was more concerned about the lawsuit than their relationship.
She changed the subject. “No deal, huh?”
“No deal.”
“So what happens next?”
Ralph tensed again. “I’m going to keep this suit moving forward.”
Tatum added up her billable hours at her apartment. She knew she should have done it at work, but she ran out of time because Adam and his clients with their endless questions and files had distracted her. Or that was the excuse she was using.
She was pleased with how her relationship was going. Besides, she needed to do the homework Dr. Bev had given her. She had to think of ways her relationship with Seth could be rekindled. Tatum thought the day at the gym would have made a difference. In some ways, it had. However, Dr. Bev was right. She needed to do more.
The frustration filtered through her body when she tried to figure it out. Seth wanted her to make the first move, but she didn’t know what constituted a first move. Clearly, the day at the gym wasn’t a first move, so what would be?
Then it happened. Tatum finally realized what she was doing wrong. It was something she didn’t do. Tatum was making the mistake that most women made. She was thinking about what Seth wanted. He told her to make the first move.
Tatum ripped the paper she was using to add up her hours off the legal pad. She wrote in block letters on the top: WHAT I WANT. She listed the things she wanted from a relationship with Seth. The usual things — honesty, trust, good sex — were at the top. However, she did list reality too. She wanted to keep her relationship with Seth real because before, she’d been living in a nightmare. She was always suspicious and accusing of Seth. She didn’t want to go to the other extreme. Tatum refused to take a one-way trip to fairytale land. She would always see the relationship, Seth, and herself for what they were.
Tatum began writing a short paragraph. It was what she wished. Her thoughts began flowing like a writer freed from writer’s block. Her fears flashed before her eyes. She suddenly remembered her parents’ warnings, her aunt and uncle’s opinions and grandmother’s name calling.
After she’d finished with her fears, Tatum’s desires stormed into her heart. She wrote about what she really wanted from her a relationship and remembered the most important therapy session. Throwing the legal notepad aside, Tatum leapt from the couch. She hurriedly walked to her bedroom.
She couldn’t remember where she’d put it at first. She was looking for the letter her therapist had made her write.
Tatum stood in the middle of her bedroom. It was written shortly before I met Seth.
She checked her closet and briefcase. No luck. Then she remembered. It was in the cabinet behind the DVDs. She’d hid it because of Seth. After she’d found him in her apartment a while back, she didn’t trust him, and her paranoia had gotten the best of her. She envisioned Seth rummaging through her things. He wasn’t the noisiest man she’d ever met. He was just the most vocal about it. He didn’t care if she knew or not.
Now sitting on the couch, Tatum reread the letter. Her heart soured with fear, hurt, and excitement. She feared her plan, hurt by the soulful words behind her terrible past. But excitement gripped her too. She was eager to share the letter.
That was her plan. She would rewrite the letter and send it to Seth. Tatum hoped he would understand the meanings of her words. Most of all, she hoped it would be her first step to the new beginning they needed.
The letter was putting herself out there. Seth knew some things about her past, but he didn’t know it all. He didn’t know the names her grandmother called her or how she’d let those names define her.
Tatum had always been strong, but her past made her stronger. Confronting her family made her mature. The struggle to let go of her family made her whole. She wasn’t listening to that little girl who couldn’t grow up anymore. Tatum didn’t know when it happened, but that little girl had stopped crying.
Thanksgiving had freed her. When she’d confronted Uncle Donald, her grandmother and aunt, she was able to be free of the pain.
She was the most thankful for her cousins refusing to support her. It taught her the most important lesson; you accept love and support where it’s given. She’d expected her family to be there for her because they were blood. But her therapist was right. Family didn’t have the right to hurt their own.
Yes, she thought as she rewrote the letter, Thanksgiving had freed her. However, the conversation with Myra motivated her. Tatum was now willing to love and lose. She was willing to be hurt. Myra was too. However, her father’s acceptance had gotten in the way. She’d given up the love of her life to keep her father happy. The worst part was that Uncle Donald didn’t even know about the sacrifice.
Tatum wasn’t going to lose Seth because of her family. She wanted to be in the relationship despite what they taught her. Myra could continue to be a martyr, but it would be a one-woman club. Tatum refused to join. She didn’t care what color Seth was, how much money he had. He love
d her and she loved him.
She tapped her pen on her knee as she proofed the letter, making sure it was free of all errors before writing the final part and replacing the To Whom It May Concern with Seth.
Grabbing a stamp and envelope from her writing desk, she wrote Seth’s address. She thought about sending it to the club, but she didn’t want anyone to open it by mistake so decided his apartment address would be the best place.
She sealed it and instantly felt foolish for writing on a legal notepad. He might think it was unprofessional. Then she reminded herself it had nothing to do with business. This was her official first move.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Adam questioned, his voice more concerned than professional.
Seth stood in his apartment talking on the phone. He was fulfilling his promise to Tatum. He didn’t allow the ramifications to penetrate his brain. She was doing what was right. It wasn’t fair, but right.
Seth took a deep breath, exhaled roughly, and nodded. “Just do it.”
Adam still tried to understand. “How? When…?”
“Let’s just say I have to pay for what I did.” He walked into the living room and picked up his mail.
“Yeah, but this is a little to the extreme.”
Seth smiled. “Well, when I fuck up I do it big, so…”
“Yeah, but this…”
Seth didn’t want to talk about it anymore. He had to move on. “I appreciate all your help with the matter.”
“Let’s just wait for the other side to approve this deal,” Adam said, cautious.
Seth’s confidence wasn’t shaken. “He’ll take it. Ralph would be a fool not to.”
“I know, but are you sure?”
He didn’t answer. Seth’s attention was instantly diverted. He saw an envelope with Tatum’s handwriting.
“Seth, are you there?”
“Uh, yeah, yeah, I’m here,” he quickly replied.
“Are you sure?”
He didn’t care about the conversation anymore. Seth’s curiosity was wrapped up in the envelope. “Just draw up the papers. I’ll tell Ralph when I get to the club.”
“Wait, that’s not wise. Let me see if I…”
“Adam, it’s a done deal. Draw the papers up and get this behind me.”
Seth hit “end” on the phone and tossed it on the loveseat. Ripping open the envelope, he hurriedly read the contents. He was floored by what he read. She had poured her soul into this letter.
He sat numbly on the couch. Tatum was calling herself some awful things. He couldn’t believe it. She wasn’t anything like she was describing. She wasn’t the N-word. She wasn’t subhuman. Seth wanted to shake her and hug her at the same time.
Quickly, Seth grabbed his jacket and rushed out of his apartment.
It was late, too late for visitors. Tatum lay in her bed, dozing off with an open paperback novel on her face. She was supposed to be reading, but somehow it kept slipping closer and closer to her face the groggier she became. The knock at the door scared her awake.
She figured it was Seth or maybe Kate. Karla would probably be with her boyfriend at this hour. She smiled as she thought that it could be Seth. Her stomach flittered with excitement and fear. She’d mailed her letter to him a while ago. Maybe he wanted to talk about her first move. Grateful she hadn’t changed into her night clothes, she answered the door.
Suddenly, Tatum’s happy expression disappeared. She felt lightheaded. She knew whatever her visitor wanted it would change her life forever, but she wasn’t going to give her visitor a chance to hurt her. She tried to slam the door shut but wasn’t fast enough.
“You know I’ve been a hostess for years and I’d been fired if I’d done that.”
Gabby walked into Tatum’s living room and Tatum prayed for strength not to hurt her.
She forced herself to be calm. “What do you want?”
Gabby glanced around the room, nose turned up. “You certainly don’t have any taste.”
“What,” she repeated angrily, “do you want?”
“Have you ever been to Seth’s house?”
“Yes,” Tatum answered dryly.
“Really? Did you know I redid the bedroom?”
Tatum cringed then lied. “I’m sorry, I was too busy enjoying myself in the bed to look around.”
“He doesn’t love you. Did you know that?”
“Are you aware that he doesn’t love you?”
“Yes. He loves me and only me.”
Tatum sighed.
“Normally, I would let Seth tell you. You know, break it to you gently, but I’m not—”
“I don’t want to hear what you have to say.”
“I’m pregnant and Seth’s the father.”
Tatum stared at Gabby, who smirked at her. She glanced down at her stomach. She wanted to call the woman a liar, but she couldn’t. She did look pregnant.
What are you going to do?
Tatum wasn’t sure what to say. Of course, she knew what she wanted to do. She wanted to punch Gabby, but she reminded herself she couldn’t hit a pregnant woman.
She couldn’t believe it. Her life was close to being perfect. She’d made the first move. All she was waiting for was Seth. Now Gabby was telling her that Seth was having a baby with her. It wasn’t fair.
She tried to be calm. She wanted to cry and bemoan her fate. The little voice in her returned. It told her the family was right. This was what they’d meant. Seth claimed he’d loved her, but he’d returned to Gabby.
But then, she struggled to fight the voice she thought she’d gotten rid of. It wasn’t true. He wouldn’t do that. Seth called Gabby “Ms. Right Now.” He wasn’t serious about her. They didn’t have to be serious to make a baby.
Tatum was leaning toward her new-found freedom. She had a life; she had a purpose. She’d made great changes. She couldn’t go back now.
She remembered the night of their argument. He didn’t return home. Theoretically, he could have gone to her house. He could have had sex with her. After all, he’d told her it was over.
“You know I’m right. We made a baby together. You need to move aside and let us be happy.”
Tatum snapped out of her trance. She wasn’t going to let Gabby push her aside. She’d never fought over a man; she wasn’t raised like that, she wasn’t going to start now, and she wasn’t going to let Gabby make her regress. She wasn’t going to become wrapped up in fear.
“Good.”
“Good?” Gabby questioned, confused.
“Yes.” Tatum hesitated, not sure where she was going with this. “I wasn’t ready to have children yet. So, this is the second-best thing.”
“What?” Gabby screamed.
Tatum continued giving the best acting job she could. “Yeah, this is great. Seth and I can have him or her on the weekends and summers.”
“No. You can’t have my baby.”
She shook her head, pretended to calm her visitor’s fear. “Don’t misunderstand me. I don’t want to raise your baby. Just pretend to be a family.”
“No.”
“Although you’re not as dark as I am, you have a lot of color to you. So the kid will look like mine when Seth and I take him for weekends.”
“Bitch, you are not having anything to do with my baby.”
“Get it through your thick head then! I’m not going anywhere. If that baby’s Seth, then we’ll all be raising that child.”
“Why don’t you just leave us alone? I’m pregnant with Seth’s child, not you.”
“It doesn’t matter. As long as Seth and I love each other, I’m going to be that child’s second mother.”
Gabby slapped her. Tatum slapped her back.
“Bitch!” Gabby screamed.
“Get out!” Tatum countered.
“You will never get my child,” Gabby remarked before leaving.
Tatum’s shoulders slumped after the door shut. She was going to cry. She needed to release the anger and disappointment she felt. But th
e tears that stung her eyes didn’t fall. They didn’t have time. Someone knocked on the door.
She knew it was Gabby again. The woman had probably pretended to forget something so she could torture her again.
Tatum quickly wiped away the tears from her eyes and opened the door. “I told you to leave me alone!”
“What did I do?”
Tatum stared at a confused Seth. She couldn’t believe it. He was here at the worst possible time. She knew she couldn’t face him right now. Her mind was scattered. She couldn’t think.
She walked away. Seth closed the door and followed her into the bedroom.
“I want you to know that you’re not any of those names,” he began.
Tatum stared at him, distracted. “Names?”
Seth’s voice was raw with emotion as he told her, “I’m not going to repeat them. I read your letter.”
It was the worst possible time for this.
Seth walked over to her and placed his hand on her arms. “I know you may be embarrassed that I’ve read something so personal, but it helped me understand a lot. And I want you to know that you are not, and never will be, any of what they said.”
She hugged him tightly. His aftershave smelled of citrus, and she lost herself in his touch. Tatum tried to brush aside Gabby’s news. She wanted to merge herself into his being.
“Thank you,” she muttered.
“Don’t thank me. I didn’t do anything.”
Tatum pushed him away.
“What’s wrong?”
She forced herself to stare at him. “Gabby’s pregnant.”
He stared at her staring at him. “What does that have to do with us or the letter?”
“She says it’s yours.”
Seth double blinked. She’d expected Seth to react but when he didn’t, it confirmed her worst fear. Seth was the father of the baby.
“It’s not true,” he remarked.
“You’re not the father?”
“No!” Anger jumped in his voice.
“When did you last fuck her then?”
He winced at her terminology.
“When did you—”
“I heard you.”
“Then answer the question.”
The Score Page 24