Trust No Bitch

by Nene Capri

  “What?” she asked.

  “You’re still sexy as a muthafucka, ma,” he said. “You can’t hide that no matter what you put on.”

  “Ain’t nobody trying to hide nothing,” she lied. “Anyway, don’t worry about how sexy I am, you just keep up with that little goodie-goodie chick you’ve been seeing?” she said, sitting down across from him with her legs folded underneath her.

  “Eyez? Goodie-goodie? Nah, you got her all wrong. You should know better than to judge a book by its cover. Baby girl used to hug the block with the big dogs. She’s corporate now, but she’s still gangsta with her shit.”

  “You said all that to say what? All bitches bleed.”

  “I ain’t come over here to tongue wrestle with you.” He stopped her. “I guess Gator ain’t taming that pussy right so you giving me all that attitude. But it’s all good, that’s what happens when you give a little boy a job that was meant for a grown ass man,” He rested his hands on each leg only inches away from his dick and stared at her trying to figure her out.

  Lissha felt his eyes all over her and her body began to heat up. Her nipples tingled and her kitty purred. She hated that she couldn’t stop herself from wanting him. Her mind told her to follow the script that Big Zo had written, but the epicenter of her womanhood had a mind of its own. She unconsciously squeezed her thighs together and tore her eyes off of him.

  Kiam seemed to sense her dilemma. He smiled knowingly and patted a spot on the sofa right next to him. “C’mere, shorty,” he said, his voice thick with primal seduction.

  “Nah, I’m good.” Lissha shook her head. She knew that if she went over and sat beside him and he didn’t push her down and get all up in that pussy she would end up throwing his ass down and taking her some dick.

  “You sure?” he asked.

  “Yeah. I’m not going to let Daddy down. One of us gotta be trustworthy.” She was determined to stand firm.

  She turned her head away from Kiam before his mouth watering gaze made her change her mind. The moment of weakness passed. She was good now.

  Her words were like a punch in the chest. The warning was clear. She had just set things on the right track with that statement.

  Kiam knew exactly what he needed to do.

  “Okay. Well, I wanted to drop this off to you.” He reached down and picked up the backpack and handed it to her. Lissha opened the flap and looked inside at the bands of dead faces. “Take care of the girls and make sure Pop is straight,” Kiam instructed.

  “You don’t have to remind me to take care of Daddy, that’s what I do. I been doing it long before you showed up, so what makes you think I would stop now?”

  Kiam cocked his head to the side. “Fuck is your problem?” “Fuck is yours?” she asked right back.

  “You know what, I think you want me to do to you what Gator can’t.”

  “And I think you want Daddy to do to you what you know he will.”

  Kiam was up off the couch as soon as the comment left her lips. He grabbed her by the face and gritted, “You trying to disrespect me?” His voice was low but lethal.

  Lissha said nothing.

  “See, when you be around pussy ass niggas too long you forget how you should never talk to a man.” He tightened his grip on her face and forced her to look in his eyes. “You see any bitch in me?”

  “No, I don’t. Now get your fucking hands off my face.” She dug her nails into his arms.

  Kiam accepted her half-hearted submission. He released her and allowed himself a minute to cool off. When his chest stopped heaving up and down, he said, “You almost got fucked up, shorty. Don’t ever try to pit me against your father again. I love and respect Big Zo to the utmost but I fear no man.” He turned his back to her and walked to the door.

  “Kiam,” Lissha called out.

  “Fuck you want?”

  “I apologize,” she said. “I would never pit you against Daddy.”

  He shot her the deuces and kept on pushing. He didn’t know what the fuck he was doing playing with her anyway. His loyalty to Big Zo had to trump lust, and his love for Faydrah should have extinguished any flame that sparked between him and any other woman. It was time for him to dead the bullshit and stand firm on principle.

  Chapter 26

  New Beginnings

  Faydrah moved around Kiam’s new condo opening appliances and carefully putting them in their place. Uncovering the couch and love seat, she smiled at the idea of her finally being able to see Kiam enjoy life.

  He watched her joyfully move about the rooms hanging curtains and arranging the furniture that she had helped him pick out. While he walked off to answer a call from Lissha, Faydrah opened several boxes looking for the lamp that she had bought to go with the living room furniture.

  Her eyes popped out of her head when she saw that she had opened the wrong boxes. Two of them were full of money and a count machine. The third box that she opened contained guns, a silencer, vests, black clothing and boots. She snapped the boxes shut like she had seen somebody’s dark family secrets.

  Faydrah wished like hell that she hadn’t mistakenly opened the wrong boxes, because now her mind was racing and her joy was gone. When Kiam returned to the living room she was still bending over the box which contained the weapons. His eyes roamed over her body admiring her curves in her tight leggings and tank top.

  Coming up behind her he wrapped his arms around her waist and whispered in her ear. “Let’s go break that new king-size in.” He pressed himself against her butt and began walking her up the stairs.

  “I have work to do, Mister,” she giggled.

  “Me, too, I gotta see how these springs work,” he shot back, steering her into the bedroom. Playfully, he tossed her up on the bed then crawled between her legs.

  “Stop Kiam,” she screamed with laughter as he bit and tickled her stomach. In spite of what she had seen, she could not stop herself from enjoying his rare playfulness.

  He pressed his body down onto hers and planted soft kisses on her lips. She parted her lips, demanding his tongue, while her hands went on an expedition. The surge of testosterone that shot through his body had him ready to put that ass to sleep.

  “Kiam wait,” she pleaded as his hands slid under her shirt and gently caressed her breast. Kiam ignored her plea as he traced her lips with his tongue. “Baby, we need to talk.”

  “About what?” he asked, grinding his steel against her clit while planting soft kisses on her neck and collar bone.

  “No, seriously.” She pushed him up slightly to look into his eyes.

  “What’s on your mind, shorty?” he asked, still in full fuck mode.

  “What’s going on, Kiam?”

  “We about to fuck real hard for a little over an hour then fall asleep and start all over again,” he rasped, leaning in and kissing her again.

  “Kiam, wait. I need to talk to you for a minute.” She gently pushed him up.

  “What’s up?” He paused to hear her out.

  “What are you doing? I saw some things that let me know you’re back in the streets.”

  “What you talking about, Eyez?” he asked.

  “I don’t have to explain. You know what I saw.” Kiam sat all the way up and rubbed his hand over his face.

  Faydrah sat up next to him. “I wasn’t being nosey, I was looking for that lamp I bought you,” she explained, then her expression turned somber. “I guess I knew before I saw those things, because I know you. You’re right back in that life,” she accused.

  Kiam laid on his back resting his hands behind his head. “I gotta do, what I gotta do,” he said.

  “What you gotta do? What does that mean?”

  “You know what this is Eyez.”

  “No, I don’t. I know that you just gave up eight years of your life over some bullshit.” She glared down into his face.

  Kiam sat up. “I’m not doing this with you right now.” He shook his head.

  “Why not, Kiam? Because I’m touching on
some truth?” she challenged.

  Kiam stood up and headed out of the bedroom. Faydrah hopped up and caught up with him at the door. She grabbed his arm and planted herself in front of him. “Where are you going? Really, you’re going to just walk away in the middle of a conversation?”

  “For real, shorty, I’m not trying to talk about it. Move out the way.” His words hurt, because they confirmed her suspicions, but she choked back the pain and continued trying to reach him.

  “Baby, I love you,” she said. “I always have. Many days I thought about moving on. But I couldn’t because I knew I couldn’t let go of you. It didn’t matter that we didn’t keep in touch, you owned my heart. I kept dreaming that you would come home and leave these damn streets alone so we wouldn’t ever have to be apart again.”

  Kiam stood quiet as she took him by the face and continued her plea. “You are a brilliant man, the same effort you put into hustling and killing, you can put into something positive and become just as successful.”

  Removing her hands from his face Kiam affirmed his position. “I hear you. But I’m not in that place right now. I got things I have to do. I got mad love for you, but it’s you who has to decide what you’re gonna do. I already know what I gotta do. Now you can either ride with a nigga or hop off,” he said as he walked away.

  “What kinda statement is that?” she railed. “I guess that’s some bullshit those jailhouse niggas put in your head.”

  Kiam turned on his heels moving back in her direction. “I’m my own fuckin’ man. I don’t need no nigga to validate who I am.” He raised his voice, peering down at her.

  Faydrah gritted her teeth and stood up in his face. “Who you trying to convince, me or yourself?” Unlike the niggas on the street she had no fear of his reputation. With her he was just Kiam.

  “I don’t have to convince you of shit. I’m a loyal nigga, you know that. I made promises to a man that I love and respect like a father, so I’m going to keep my word. That’s my get down, you already know that. I would never disrespect you, but if you can’t roll with what I gotta do, then you know what you gotta do.”

  She rested her hand on his chest. “Yeah, you’re right,” Faydrah agreed. “You are loyal. But the person you need to learn to be loyal to is yourself.”

  Kiam looked away as her words threatened to shatter his illusions of what being official meant. As mad as it made him for her to challenge the code that he lived by, he knew deep inside her words came from a caring place. But the ego that lay within him would not let him submit.

  Faydrah saw that in the stubborn set of his jaw. Why in the hell am I wasting my breath? she asked herself. She removed her hand from his chest and set her own jaw. “You’re right. I am going to get off,” she stated as she walked downstairs to gather her things.

  Kiam rubbed his fist in his hand. He wanted to stop her but a false sense of pride took the wheel and was driving a wedge between him and the only woman he ever really loved.

  As Faydrah hit the door, struggling with her shoes, her purse fell to the floor. Snatching it up, she flung it over her shoulder then franticly searched for her car keys.

  Kiam walked into the living room, plopped down on the couch, and silently watched her. He was too stubborn to utter what his heart demanded that he say.

  Faydrah said, “I was just going to walk outta here and not say anything else to you, but I’m not built like that. All this shit you got going on up in here.” She waved her arms around. “It’s all going to crumble around you. And the very muthafuckas you vow loyalty to are gonna be the ones to stab you in the back.” Her voice cracked and her eyes filled with tears.

  Kiam’s heart ached over the pain he was causing her, but his response didn’t show what he felt inside. “You done?” he asked bluntly.

  Faydrah held back her tears and forced a smile. “I damn sure am,” she replied with strength. She grabbed the door knob and snatched the door open, slamming it as she stormed out.

  When she got outside the door all of her emotions spilled over. She leaned up against the wall, held her purse tight in her arms and let the tears fall. She slid to the ground as the pain in her spirit no longer allowed her legs to support her weight.

  Placing her face in her hands, she wept. She cried for who Kiam could be and who he was determined to remain. She never wanted to upset their bond but she knew that she could not live with herself if she didn’t tell him how she felt.

  On the other side of the door Kiam was dealing with the same feelings. His heart told him she was right, but the beast in him had made commitments he was not going to ignore. Conflicted and angry, he got up and headed to the door to return to the streets. He looked down and saw her sitting on the floor with her back against the wall, sobbing.

  “Baby, what you doin’?” he asked softly.

  Faydrah looked up with pain and sadness in her eyes. “I don’t want to live without you Kiam,” she said from the heart.

  “Come here ma.” He reached down and gently lifted her to her feet. Faydrah went into his arms and leaned her forehead against his chest.

  “Baby, please get outta the streets. Do that for me,” she asked in a desperate tone.

  “I’m not going to lie to you. I can’t get out right now. But I promise, nothing I’m doing will hurt you. I need you to chill and let me do what I do,” he maintained.

  Faydrah had to allow that, because letting go was no better option than trying to live without air. “Okay, Kiam,” she agreed, “but you have to promise me that when shit is piled against you, you’ll get out.”

  “I promise, shorty.” He held her closer to his chest. “Now let’s go back inside. You out here embarrassing me in front of my neighbors.” He pulled her inside and closed the door with his foot.

  “Shut up.” She hit his arm. “You should be glad somebody cares about your black ass.” Faydrah sat her bag down and pouted her lips.

  “What?” Kiam smiled. “Does this mean I can’t see them legs on my shoulders?” He licked his lips enticingly.

  “You think your ass is cute.”

  “Girl, you see all this.” Kiam put his arm up displaying his bicep. “Nigga on point.”

  “Whatever. You just better be careful. And that chick I saw at your hotel room. You watch her. I don’t trust that bitch.”

  “I got it. Now come make up with me. You got my little nigga all upset.” He walked over and picked her up.

  Faydrah wrapped her arms and legs around him as he carried her to the bedroom and laid her on the bed. He took his time undressing her, then he slowly undressed himself.

  Naked and wrapped in passion Faydrah laid tenderly under his precise push. Each stroke affirmed their love but she could tell that he was no longer the Kiam she fell in love with, he had morphed into something else.

  With each pleasure-filled release she wondered what had changed him. Was it the time in prison or the feeling of abandonment each time he lost someone he loved or trusted?

  Either way she knew it was only a matter of time before she would be lying with a stranger. She wondered how much of herself was she willing to lose while trying to save the broken pieces within him.

  Chapter 27

  Treacherous

  Lissha moved around her house trying to get her mind right to deal with Kiam. She had not seen him since their little altercation the other day. It was pick up time and he insisted that she go with him. She both dreaded and looked forward to seeing him.

  A moment after she grabbed her gun, her phone rang. Checking the screen revealed that it was Big Zo. “Hello,” she answered.

  “Baby girl.” His voice boomed into the phone.

  “Hey, Daddy.” She forced her voice to sound chipper.

  “You alright?” he asked

  “Yeah, I’m good. How are you?” she replied, trying to shift the weight in the other direction.

  “I’m good now. I’m just checking on you. I had a feeling that you might be going through something because you haven’t cal
led in a few days.” He gently probed.

  “Everything is fine. I’m about to go to the store with Kiam.” “Yeah?”

  “Mm hmm, they just got some fresh watermelon in and I know it’s on sale.” She shot him some code real quick.

  “Alright handle your business. Hit me when you get back.” “I will,” she assured him, reaching for the button to disconnect.

  “Lissha?”

  “Huh?” She put the phone back to her ear.

  “Get your shit together. We got too much on the line,” he reiterated, pacing back and forth in his cell.

  “What you mean, Daddy?”

  “You know what I mean. I know you, I can hear the wavering in your voice. But I taught you better than that. Don’t make me regret my decision. Talk to you later.” He hung before she could respond.

  Lissha wanted to throw her phone against the wall, run to her room and jump back under her covers and pretend that none of this was happening. As soon as she started into her feelings she heard a car horn outside her door.

  “Oh, boy, here we go,” she sighed, heading for the door. And as if the day couldn’t get any worse she looked up and saw the bitch from the hotel propped up in the front passenger seat of Kiam’s truck like the fucking Queen of England.

  Lissha took a deep breath, closed the door, and strutted down the walkway. She climbed into the backseat and closed the door, staring at the back of Kiam’s head with disgust in her eyes.

  Sensing she was shooting him prisms he reached up and adjusted the rearview mirror and gave her a smile. “Good afternoon, Miss Lissha,” he said all formally, like he was driving Miss Daisy.

  “Ain’t shit good about it. I thought we had business to handle, I didn’t know it was bring your friends to work day.”

  Faydrah looked over at Kiam and smiled. She was not frazzled by the heat that was coming from the back seat.

  Kiam looked over his shoulder at Lissha. “This ain’t no friend,” he clarified. “This is the result of what happens the next morning after you make that pussy purr.” He leaned over and kissed Faydrah’s lips.