by Demi Alex
“You sure, koukla mou?”
“No, thank you. I’m good.”
He moved half the fish on to Justin’s plate, and Justin squeezed lemon over both of their now filleted fish. “Thanks, love.”
“Seriously, you’re making me comfortable, showing you care about me, and treating me like family. You don’t need to do any of it. I’m not family.”
“You are family,” Justin said, his easygoing demeanor gone. “You’re part of me, and that makes you part of Paul. He may not need to do any of the shit you’re babbling about, but he does it because he cares. And we both want you in our life. Easy or not.”
“J, a sincere and honest friendship is one thing, and under different circumstances it could have been easy. But it’s not now. The rest of this week is going to be a bitch. Paul and I want the same thing.”
“Don’t fool yourself, koukla mou. This,” Paul said, extending his arm and circling a pointed finger around the table, “thing between the three of us and what is happening here is what has you agitated. Not the rest of this week. The way you’re feeling has nothing to do with the resort. It’s this. It’s real. And it will not go away.”
“Paul,” Justin said in a warning tone.
“Don’t deny or candy-coat it, Justin. It is what it is.” He looked from Bethany to Justin and back again. “It’s not going away because you choose to ignore it.”
Confused, because there was clearly a point she was missing, Bethany sucked in a breath and considered her words carefully. “Something is getting lost in this conversation. What I said was simple. You being nice won’t make me change my position on the resort.”
“I don’t expect your position on the resort to change,” Paul said, his amber-colored eyes growing dark and his Adam’s apple moving. “I’m talking about this energy between us. It’s here. We all feel it. We all want it. But we’re denying it.”
Still baffled, she rubbed her fingers against her temples. Did he want her out of their life, or was he talking about more than a friendship? The thought of the latter had crossed her mind, had even starred in her afternoon shower fantasy. But Paul didn’t even know her. What if he didn’t want to share Justin with her?
“I’m sorry. I’d never want to come between you and Justin,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean to imply that. We don’t need to do this if you don’t want to be friends.”
“I want to be any kind of friends to make us all happy,” Paul said, lowering his voice. “Baby, the more I get to know you, the more I like you. So much so. Don’t think for a single minute you’re doing anything wrong. You’re perfect. We’re the screwed up ones.” He waved his hand between himself and Justin.
“Maybe it’s screwed up, but it’s the safest and surest way for us to be together,” Justin said, not hesitating to take her hand.
“As long as it doesn’t cause problems between you guys, I’m okay with it,” she said, keeping how frustrating it would be on her hormones to herself.
“Paul and I are together on this. We want to be in your life, sweetheart.”
She squeezed his hand. “Good. I like you there.” Then she reached for Paul’s hand and did the same. “I like you there, too. A lot.”
“The feeling is more mutual than you could imagine,” he said, lifting her hand to his lips and placing a kiss in the center of her palm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply it was you. Trust me, it’s me. But I’ll do what it takes to keep this good.”
“I can take it. Let’s clear the air, so we can move forward,” she said. “Any other questions, clarifications, or anything? Let’s not leave any skeletons in the closet.”
Paul placed his fork on the table and crossed his arms over his chest. “I have one. We’ve been ignoring the elephant at the table, haven’t addressed the past, and I agree we need to clear the air so we can move forward.”
She didn’t realize how hard she was squeezing her hands together until Justin nudged into the tight knot, pried her fingers apart, and took her left hand in his.
“And I’m not blaming you, but because of the way he automatically comes to your rescue, I need to ask,” Paul said, indicating Justin’s lap and their joined hands.
Justin shifted and leaned forward, looking as if he was about to explain, but Paul held up his hand, wanting to be heard.
“No, babe. It’s not jealousy, and I don’t have a problem with any of it,” Paul said, his voice going softer as he swiped his palm down his face and rubbed his chin. “I don’t understand why you broke up with such a great man, a man you clearly still have feelings for, and a man who still loves you. Why?”
Chapter Thirteen
Justin still loved her?
But he’d broken her heart. Bethany had been shattered, and she’d crawled into bed and hadn’t been able to come out from beneath the covers for weeks.
Even after all that, she was sitting with him, as a friend, because she was a sucker for putting herself in the position to be hurt again. And considering she’d done exactly that, the night had taken a turn directly toward pain and disappointment.
“It wasn’t like that,” she said, trying unsuccessfully to retrieve her hand from Justin’s hold.
“It was,” Paul said, his gaze narrowing on her, and all the neighboring diners fading from her awareness. “I met him months after your breakup, and I saw what it had done to him to be thrown away because he didn’t meet your daddy’s socio-economic criteria.”
Tears blurred her vision and the knot in her throat restricted her breathing, but Justin’s warm hold grew stronger and she managed not to break down.
“It was a long time ago,” Justin said, gripping her hand hard and gaining her attention. “We were kids. We’re not any longer.” He squeezed harder, making her look into his eyes and find fierce determination. “That relationship was doomed from the start, but we’re not at the mercy of others any more. None of it’s an issue for either of us. Okay?”
He was a bad liar, and she knew it was as much an issue for him as it was for her.
“We’ve agreed on something new,” he said. “Something better.”
In spite of suggesting they put things behind them, Justin hadn’t defended her or explained the truth. The friendship card was because he believed it was the only way for them to be in each other’s lives since he’d found someone else to love. Paul was an amazing man who had just proven he was willing to tackle the hard stuff for Justin’s sake, but no one had ever compared to Justin for her. No one even came close.
“Our bond isn’t one dimensional. We’re woven into each other, heart and soul,” Justin said, his dark gaze seeing past her shield. “The past doesn’t negate our future, and our relationship will only get stronger. I’m willing to buck convention. Make it work. You’re so worth it to me.”
Justin’s words went far to make her feel cherished and special, even if the circumstances of their so-called new relationship were peculiar. Then Paul’s words register. Not the emotion or concern in his words. The actual meaning of the words.
“I didn’t break up with him. Justin ended our relationship.”
“I did not,” Justin said. He released her hand and angled his seat away. “You know better than that.”
“No, Justin. She doesn’t,” Paul said, moving closer to her and placing an arm around the back of her chair. With a finger on her chin, he turned her to look at him. “Did you read his emails?”
“No.” What they were saying negated everything she’d known about the worst time of her life. He didn’t end their relationship? Somehow, she managed to overcome the tremors raking her chest and breathe.
“Did you receive the package we sent you?”
“No,” she whispered, unable to verbalize what she needed to know, but from the looks on their faces, both men knew.
“When you didn’t reply to my calls or emails, I figured the best thing to do was give you time to accept my decision. I had no choice but to walk away fr
om that scholarship.”
“It was a full ride,” she said. “It was a way for us to be together for four years. On our own. The way we’d wanted. The way we’d planned.”
“There were conditions,” Justin continued. “I had to do what I did. And when I did, I was confident you’d have agreed with me. I didn’t think—”
“She really doesn’t know,” Paul repeated, rubbing his hand up and down her forearm. “Justin never walked away from you, koukla. He walked away from what your father thought should happen for you.”
Pressing her fist in the center of her chest, she thought back to the very moment. Justin had dropped the bombshell on her with her father still in her dorm room. He’d said he couldn’t do it. It wasn’t fair to sign away their lives at such a young age. He was transferring and enrolling in a state university. She was being left behind. Alone.
“Your father was okay with me and you being together during undergrad,” Justin said, meeting her gaze. “He wanted us together so nobody else would take advantage of his little girl. Right before I came to your room and told you I was leaving, I’d met with him, at his insistence, at the Union. At first, I figured it had to do with more overbearing guidance for his girl. But I was so naïve.”
“It actually did,” Paul said, caressing her shoulder. His voice was low and gentle. His touch strong and reassuring. With him at her side, she was confident she could listen to what was being said, no matter how much it hurt.
“I kept the contract he wanted me to sign. A fucking legal document put an expiration date on us. I mailed you a copy the following year,” Justin said. “Paul was there. He was with me. I wasn’t sure you would ever open the envelope, but I had to try.”
“I never received a package from you,” she said to Justin. “I deleted the voice mails and emails without listening to them or reading them. I was hurt and angry. I didn’t want to ever see you again. I felt betrayed beyond belief.”
“That makes sense,” Paul said, the voice of reason. He cupped the side of her head and placed a kiss on her hair. “Listen to him, baby. He never betrayed you. Let him make it better.”
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, and for the first time in years, she believed she could be freed from the hurt of that betrayal.
“Right off the bat, your father promised me an internship for the first semester of my senior year. The internship would have been in the London office, and it was his way to initiate the beginning of the end for us,” Justin explained. “I was supposed to return the final semester, start to distance myself and act like a dick to you by insisting we see other people, and finally call it off after I had secured a job with a company of your father’s choosing. He would privately pay a year’s salary as a signing bonus if I managed to convince you to continue with grad school before I called us off.”
No. He couldn’t have been so ruthless. Her father was opinionated and controlling, but he couldn’t be so manipulative as to intentionally cause her pain.
“He said it was in your best interest, and if I cared about you, I’d agree,” Justin said, the muscle ticking in his jaw the only sign of his distress. “I told him I didn’t need his fucking money, and I would take care of my woman and my education on my own. That is why I couldn’t sign away our lives. We didn’t need to be rich, sweetheart. We needed to be us.”
“I know,” she said, wiping at the moisture on her cheeks. “And I didn’t give you a chance to explain. I only heard you weren’t going to be with me. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize. I left that meeting with your father, and instead of coming straight to you, I went to my room and packed my bags. By the time I got to you, he was with you. Knowing how calculating he is, I assumed he’d told you about the internship and the job offer and was putting a spin on my response. I never thought you didn’t know. I assumed that you knew. And instead of getting into a physical altercation with your father, I walked away, with every intention of discussing how you would also transfer with me once we were alone.”
She wished he’d have explained then and there. She’d have left with him.
“I didn’t want to make a decision about your education for you. He was still paying your bills. It had to be your choice to tell him to go fuck off and come with me, or to get your education, and then tell him to fuck off.”
She sucked in a ragged breath, and bit down on her lip to keep it from trembling. She’d hated Justin for hurting her, but he hadn’t meant to. And there was such a fine line between love and hate.
“We’re okay now, koukla mou.” Paul smoothed her hair and kissed the side of her head again. “You both know the truth, and the truth is what matters.”
“That day changed my whole life,” she said, pissed that the sniffles were audible and she had to hold her hand near her nose to cover them. “I lost my best friend, chose a different major than I truly wanted, and even transferred schools.”
“I’m proud of you though,” Justin said, leaning forward and insisting she listen. “You’ve done well for yourself, Bethy. Not only are you successful, but you’re well respected in your field.”
Justin pointed to Paul, who was looking at her with nothing but adoration and care. She didn’t understand his complete acceptance, but she was grateful for it.
“Trust me.” Justin brought his chair even closer to hers, and beneath the table, he fit his legs on either side of hers and placed his big hands on the sides of her knees. “Paul checked you out and scrutinized every deal you’ve ever made before we arrived. The only thing he didn’t mention was your last name.”
“You researched me?”
“Yes, he did. I did, too, this afternoon. And I wish I would have made the connection with Luxury Homes and done so earlier,” Justin said. “But there’s a reason for everything, Bethy. Always a reason.” He wiped at the tears that wouldn’t stop clouding her vision. “If I would have known it was you, I would have reached out to you. Then maybe you wouldn’t have come. Maybe we wouldn’t be together right now.”
She shook her head. “I would have come.”
“Don’t cry then. No more tears.” He stood and opened his arms to her. “The past is the past. It’s behind us. Come here, Bethy.”
It was with Paul’s hand on her back that she managed to stand and move into Justin’s embrace. Suddenly aware of the other diners, she hid her face in his chest.
* * *
She’d believed he’d walked away. Just left her. No wonder she hadn’t wanted to speak with him. Justin did his best to soothe her and lay the conversation to rest. Tucking her trembling body against his, he motioned for Paul to settle up, and led her from the restaurant.
“Come on, sweetheart. We need some privacy.”
She fell into step beside him, and he was able to shield her from the others as he guided her out into the quiet.
“I should have taken you with me and explained later,” he said once they had crossed to the other side of the street and stood in the shadow of an overgrown bougainvillea. “I never thought to throw us away, and I’d never treat you in such a careless manner.”
“That’s why it hurt so much,” she admitted, looking up at him. “But everything happens for a reason. That day happened for a reason.” Throwing his words back at him, she smiled and leaned in to touch her lips to the underside of his jaw. “We are both where we’re supposed to be.”
As she spoke, she transformed from hurt to confident. Justin wanted her strong. He kept quiet.
“You’re with Paul. And he loves you. You love him.”
This time she waited for him to speak. He didn’t want to hurt her, and she hadn’t asked as much as stated.
“Very much.”
“I can see why. He’s good for you.” She stepped away, steady on her feet, not needing him any longer, and back in control. “He’s wonderful.”
Justin wasn’t willing to let her go. He placed a hand on her hip and held on. “Does my relat
ionship with Paul mean you don’t want me in your life?”
Shaking her head, she looked away and released her breath, before meeting his gaze again. “No, J. I want you in my life. I want to be in yours.”
“Thank you,” he said, lowering his head and touching his mouth to hers. “We’ll make this work.”
The signals in his mind crossed, and instead of moving away like a friend should, he moved closer.
She lifted her arms and ran her fingers through his hair, pressing her warm body against his, from thighs to chest, and moaning from deep inside her core when his erection pushed against her softness.
Inhaling sharply, her lips parted, and he felt her tongue wet them.
“Bethy?”
“Yeah?”
One. Just one taste, he thought. Just a kiss.
“Push me away, sweetheart.”
“No,” she whispered into his mouth.
And then he was kissing her, taking all she offered as he slipped past her lips, swept through her mouth, and asked for more with hungry nibbles as he grazed on the sweet offering.
One kiss wasn’t enough.
He tangled his fingers in her hair and lifted it off her neck, angling her face to meet her gaze, but her eyes were closed as her tongue licked over her lower lip, and he lowered his head and took it into his mouth, unable to get enough of her. He held her tight, needing to get closer, and with one arm curved protectively around her back, he walked her backward until he pressed her against the wall, and she was stretched up on her toes. Lost in the sweetest little sounds she made, he deepened the kiss.
She closed her lips on his tongue and sucked it into her own mouth, and it was his turn to groan. She held him to her, as they shared breath, heat, and each other.
Lights appeared. A car honked. And Justin’s logic returned.
He’d lost it. Taken. Demanded. Did her wrong. Placing his hands on her hips, he turned her so he could see her face in the light and make sure she was okay.