by Anika Rahman
“Well, then, now you know what I am capable of doing,” Lucifer finished off. “Sweet dreams, Rosie.” And with that, he walked off, getting away from me and James while I just stared at him.
James casually walked over to me, back in his normal self, and put his arms out and inched closer to me, wanting to hold me, but I stopped him, taking a few steps back.
“Who are you? Actually, no. What are you?” I asked, horrified. I thought of Elliot and what would happen if I lost him, my only family.
“Rosemarie, it’s not what it looks like. I can explain, really. Please don’t leave me once you find out the truth about me. Please, I need you. I lov—,” James started.
“Answer me! What are you? If you really loved me, you would’ve told me all of this earlier. You don’t love me, at all. You’re such a liar,” I yelled, enraged as the tears finally fell out of my eyes. James flinched at my sudden eruption. I was never mad at anyone except for now.
“I-I’m a fallen angel,” James stated, not very proud of it.
That wasn’t so bad. I could date a fallen angel. As long as he is from Heaven’s side. That would mean that he is blameless. Harmless even. This all seems unreal, but after watching him like that, I know for sure fallen angels really exist.
“Which side?” I said, my voice barely a whisper.
“From-from Lucifer’s side.”
chapter 8
break-ups and make-ups
My instinct was to run past him and this crazy school, away from all of these people and into the safety of my brother. He would know what to do, he always does. I stood there, on the roof, completely numb. My whole body and mind was numb. I tried my best to process his words. Surely, I’ve heard wrong.
“I-I’m a fallen angel.”
“From-from Lucifer’s side.”
His words kept playing over and over again in my head like a broken radio or something. He was joking, right?
“Y-you’re from—from L-Lu—,” I stammered, trying to even out my breathing.
“Yes, love. But, love, really, I’m not proud of it either. I was afraid to tell you because I was scared that I might lose you, for good this time. I wasn’t ready to go through that all over again. I’m sorry, that was very selfish of me and I shouldn’t have done it,” James said, his voice heavy with dismay and pain and something else.
“You’re lying to me and this,” I said, pointing around the whole roof and everything, “is all just some sort of a nightmare. Please tell me this is a nightmare, James. I need to know that this is a nightmare. You’re lying. Any second now, you’re going to burst out laughing and yelling ‘gotcha,’ right?”
“I-I’m a fallen angel.”
“From-from Lucifer’s side.”
I tried my best to ignore that voice and tried to shove it out of my mind but it was futile.
“Hello, Rosie. I just wanted to tell you that I am in love with you and I would appreciate it if you would consider going out with me and break up with him. If you do become mine, I won’t hurt anyone you love, but if you reject me . . .”
Great, now Lucifer’s voice. I did see what he could do without even touching or anything. I didn’t even want to think about what he could do to me, Elliot, Maddie or even poor Savvy.
“Angel, love, I’m not lying to you. I’m telling you the truth. That was Lucifer, my Lord now,” James said, his head hung.
“Don’t ever call me love or Angel ever again,” I yelled through gritted teeth. James was really sweet and all but all of this was pathetic. I didn’t need his love right now. He put me in danger and it was up to him to fix all of this mess.
“Rosemarie, I don’t want you to leave me. Please don’t leave me. It took me forever to find you. I can’t risk losing you, I just can’t,” James begged, he literally begged. The James I knew would never do that. He would never do that.
“I-I am very sorry. I really am, Rosemarie. I never intended for you to be hurt. Please believe me. I love you. There is no way that I can stay away from you, I can’t,” James said as his eyes really shone with unshed tears. The James I knew would never cry, never.
“James, I am so sorry that I have to do this, but I can’t. I just can’t continue like this. I need some space and time to think and I just don’t think that we should continue with it,” I stated. I didn’t even regret a single word I said. I really couldn’t continue like this.
Those beautiful baby-blue eyes of his locked with mine for a long time. My face was wet with tears, but I really couldn’t go on like this.
“Rose, let me help you. Let me explain all of this to you. Please, don’t leave me. Let me make it better,” James told me once more. What could he do? Kiss the pain away? I’m not the one who needs help; he is.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t, James. I just can’t,” I said, turning around to head for the door.
“Rose! Wait! If I were to ask you later on, after you get everything under control, would you do it all over again? I mean the ‘us’ thing?” James begged. He really meant it all. He reached for my wrist and I let him pull me closer to him one last time.
“I definitely would, but I just need some space,” I said as I put my head on his chest and let him wrap his arms around me, just for this last time. I towed away too quickly, leaving behind a very miserable James who mourned every moment of today on the roof.
* * * * *
The next three weeks or so went off in a daze. I returned to my regular schedule and word spread around very quickly about our break-up. I had gotten used to the whole “just ignore them” thing. Maddie even helped me out with the whole thing. She was so supportive and such a good friend; she never asked me anything. She just saw me and said, “Don’t worry, Alice. Everything is going to be okay.”
Inside me, nothing felt okay. I felt like someone pried out my heart and replaced it with emptiness. Every time that I would think of all of our times together, my heart would swell with emotions but all those emotions would leave me in about a few seconds, laughing at me and saying that I really had no heart.
As I walked over to my locker, I tried to focus on everything that was going on around me. Everyone was exhilarated about the dance coming up next week. Maddie had wanted to drag me there but I refused to go. Maddie had even made Elliot forced me to go and at last, I had to agree.
Just as I opened my locker, a note fell out of it, leaving me with so many memories. James had written me a letter on the day of our first kiss. I ignored that and bent down to pick up the letter. It read:
Roza,
I heard about your break-up. I am truly very sorry for your loss? I really don’t know what to say at a time like this. But I am sorry for all the lies. As you have seen, I broke up with Krystal right after our talk on the roof. I hope you are happy. I would love for us to start over, really. Like, all over again. Roza, will you make me the happiest man on Earth by meeting me on the roof today after school? Any other guy would say that my previous sentence is very stupid but I’m still new to all these American phrases. Please, meet me on the roof. Can’t wait to see you there.
Love,
Adrian.
* * * * *
Seriously? Another roof meeting? I might as well just go because I have nothing else to do. Adrian was asking for forgiveness and I guess I was the one acting like a bitch. I need to be a civilized person and forgive him. I never thought that I would use my name and the word “civilized” in the same sentence. But then again, I never thought that I would have to date a fallen angel. Maybe we all should expect the unexpected.
* * * * *
Once I had gotten there, Adrian was already waiting for me. When I walked up to him, he simply embraced me for a long time while I hugged him back. The same blue-green eyes flashed across my eyes again as I pulled away from the hug and looked up, into his blue-green eyes.
“I am so glad you could make it. How have you been, Roza?” Adrian asked as he flashed me one of his lopsided grins. If I didn’t think of him as just frien
ds, I would’ve really fell right then and there due to his killer smile, but I only think of him as a friend and just a friend.
“I’m good. How are you? I got your letter and I was a bit confused,” I said, tilting my head to the side a little for emphasis.
“Oh, I’m fine. Why were you confused?” Adrian asked me, his brows knitting together into a stretched letter V.
“You said that you were sorry for infuriating me. I’m the one who should be sorry for being mad at you, really. And I’m sorry.”
“No, please do not apologize, that was really my mistake. Will you forgive me?”
“Of course I will,” I said as the beginning of a new friendship took place.
The rest of the evening, we conversed and got to know each other more and more. He really wasn’t that bad of a person. He even escorted me home and left me all longing for James.
The last time James had escorted me, I had said yes to his question, I really now regret my choice. Was that a good idea?
* * * * *
Everyone was really chatty this whole week and I couldn’t wait until the dance. Krystal had chastised me for not getting a date, but why does she care if I don’t have a date? It was freakin’ Valentine’s Day. The slogan was probably a stupid one, but I didn’t mind at all. It’s “Roses are red, Salsa is hot. Chocolate has calories, Dancing does not!” To be honest, it was the stupidest slogan ever. This year, everyone would alternate their dance partners so everyone gets a chance to dance. Again, a very stupid idea.
I had three letters in my locker, three simple letters in my locker from the three guys in my life. They were like a reminder of my pain I try to get rid of every day. They were a reminder of my past, something I so badly want to escape.
The first one read:
Roza,
I just wanted to ask you something really important. I would write it in the letter, but it seems very stupid. Meet me after-school on the roof. Please. I promise you won’t regret a thing. You can trust me; I’m your friend. Please meet me on the roof. I’ll be waiting for you. Oh yes, don’t bring anyone with you. Trust me and don’t bring ANYONE.
Love,
Adrian
I slightly frowned at that letter, but I decided to obey. I opened the second letter and it read:
Rosemarie,
I know that you probably don’t want anything to do with me, but I need to ask you something really important. Meet me on the roof after-school. I promise you I’ll keep my distance. I won’t touch you in any way that would make you uncomfortable. Please meet me on the roof. Please.
Love,
James.
The last one read:
Rosemarie, Rose, Rosie,
I just love the sound of your name in my mouth. The way the letter ‘s’ makes a ‘z’ sound. It’s beautiful, just like you. I have something very important to ask you. Please, meet me on the roof after-school. Don’t be afraid, I won’t hurt you. I promise.
Love,
Lucifer.
All three of the letters told me to go to the roof after-school. I have no idea on what I should do. I should just go on there. I was wrong, this is a nightmare.
* * * * *
Once I went to the roof, all three of them were arguing while I was the only motive keeping them from tearing each other apart. Once I entered, all three of them turned to face me.
“Rosemarie!” James yelled out as he ran over to hug me tightly, burying his face in the crook of my neck. I instantly hugged him back, longing to be held by him. The tingles I felt around both James and Adrian had intensified, leaving me with a feeling of being on cloud nine.
It lessened slightly when Lucifer pried us apart, shoving James aside, literally. Then, Lucifer hugged me tightly, burying his face in my hair.
James, unable to see that, pulled Lucifer away from me and started arguing again. I noticed that Adrian was the only one of them that didn’t come over to me to hug me. He just stood where he was. I walked over to him and held out my arms for a hug which he melted into very eagerly. Adrian had hugged me a bit tightly, as if I would poof out of existence any second.
“How come you didn’t go over to hug me like those crazies over there?” I murmured.
“That was very impolite of them so I—very manly— waited for my turn,” Adrian answered as he grinned at me lopsidedly.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Prince Charming. You are not getting to her before me,” Lucifer yelled as he walked over to us and started the argument as James joined in. That went on for about a minute or two until I had to tear the three musketeers apart.
“Hey! The questions you were all going to ask me?” I asked.
“We were going to . . .,” all three of them started and got into another quarrel about why they are all so similar.
“Again with the fighting! Stop it! I’m serious. One at a time, please,” I said as Lucifer, most confident of them all, strode over to me.
“Rosie, will you go to the Valentine’s Day dance with me?” he asked as he held out his hand. James and Adrian were turning red from all of this and I knew it was from anger and not from any kind of embarrassment. I just smiled and beckoned the next one. Adrian walked over to me and knelt down on one knee and held out a bouquet of red roses to me.
Lucifer sighed and walked away from me, going off to stare at the ground and kick rocks while a triumphant look clouded James’ face.
“Roza, will you make me the happiest man on Earth by going to the Valentine’s Day dance with me?” Adrian said. Here we go again. Adrian and I just made up, but now this? I beckoned James and he followed while Adrian retreated back to where he was.
“Ange—err, Rosemarie, will you give me the honor of being your date to the dance?” James asked as he bent down on both knees.
All three of them were now standing in a line with Adrian on the far left, James in the middle and Lucifer on the left. How could I say no to all of them except for Lucifer? I really didn’t care about his feelings. I didn’t even care about anything he did but he looked like he really wanted me.
“All three of you are really great guys—even you, Lucifer—but I can’t go to the dance with any of you. I’m really sorry. I truly am,” I announced and turned around to leave. I saw that Adrian’s eyes were filled with tears while James looked like he just lost everything. Lucifer, on the other hand, looked like he just lost the most important game of his life. I wish I could go with James or Adrian.
All three of them were saddened, it was written across all their faces. I knew that all three of them were very competitive and would go to extreme measures to get me. I didn’t even know what to do. Were my lies really beneficial towards our futures? We’ll have to wait and see.
chapter 9
dance, dance revolution
Two days and counting. Just two more days until the dance. I already chose my dress and mask. That’s right; we were supposed to wear a mask since it was a masquerade dance. My mask was a red color with two red feathers on the top left and right corners. The mask was decorated with sparkly golden lines vining its way around the surface. The best part was that the mask matched the dress which was also a deep red color. It was four to five inches above my knees and it was very . . . flowy. It had a black ribbon like belt around its waist. It had a V-neck with a collar on the back part. The dress was full sleeve, but the sleeves were see-through with a long cut from the shoulder to the wrist with red cuffs. I couldn’t wait.
* * * * *
I was suddenly very aware of all the eyes on us as Maddie and I made our way through the crowd and walked over to the back of the room. I could somehow sense Adrian and James in the room, but not Lucifer. I could somehow faintly sense Lucifer, but not as strong as Adrian or James.
When I sensed Adrian and James, a weird tingling feeling washed over me and somehow, a part of my brain knew that Adrian and James were in the room, watching me and every single move I made. To be honest, the room was pretty dark, but had a single chandelier hanging from the ceil
ing above, lighting up the middle like a spotlight being lit. The room was filled with red ribbons, balloons and props and even the fading light that the chandelier cast was a light shade of red. They really outdid themselves with the catering and everything.
“Oh c’mon, Alice. Are you still hung up on the fact that you rejected three guys? C’mon, they’re all a bunch of lame-os. You deserved better than James in the first place. He’s a wack. Adrian seems like a really nice guy, on the other hand. You shouldn’t have let him down,” Maddie droned on, snapping me out of my reverie. That girl could talk alright. Mark had asked her out and Maddie let him down, none too gently, of course. I kind of pitied him; Mark truly loved Maddie, but she felt nothing for him but hatred. She should at least give him a chance. Speaking of which . . .
“H-hey Maddie,” Mark waved to Maddie as he made his way towards us on cue.
“Oh, it’s you,” Maddie sneered. Seriously, try being nice to him for once.
“Yeah. I was wondering if you would like to dance with me. Just one dance, I promise,” Mark vowed. Before Maddie could answer, I felt someone come up behind me and wrap his arms around my waist.
“She would love to,” said Lucifer. Oh, hell to the no. He was not going to put his dirty little hands on me. As Mark steered Maddie away, her face had concern, mistrust and anxiousness scribbled all over it. I felt bad for her; that poor girl has been through a lot lately, but Mark still deserves a chance.
“Lucifer!” I practically yelled as I pivoted to face him, still caged up in his arms.
“Well, hello there, Rosie. Whoa, is it just me or is it suddenly very hot in here?” Lucifer said, fanning himself. I snorted at his lame “romantic” line.