“Is my mother in on this?” I couldn’t help but wonder if this was perhaps a family legacy.
“No. Fortunately, she has no clue what exists outside the human world. Teagan, your father was very heroic but you are stronger. The power of the bloodline increases with each generation. You have to believe in yourself. At the end, your father was left to fight alone against his own Guardian, one who used everything he knew about your father as leverage to destroy him.”
To my surprise, I felt sad and angry. How strange that I would share a bond so significant with someone I never knew and that my mother could never be a part of it.
Garreth slowed the car to the side of the darkening street and turned to me. Even after spending the entire day with him, the sight of him made me weak yet powerful at the same time. I knew at that moment that whatever I faced, whatever was expected of me, I could handle, as long as he was by my side. I couldn’t bear it if anything happened to Garreth.
Today, a door had somehow opened, allowing what was meant to stay myth or phenomenon to be more real than the world I knew, and now I was facing the impossible. If it were true, could I do the impossible? Could I, me, an ordinary girl, defeat a dark angel? My hands were hot with sweat as I thought about how my father, an adult, failed at this. And now it was up to me.
“Can I ask a dumb question?”
“Sure, but I doubt it’s dumb.” He was rolling the windows up now against the evening chill that was descending, and once again I caught a whiff of that beautiful incense.
“Is it normal for an angel to have a last name?”
Garreth’s brow rose in stunned curiosity. “You go from talking about your father vs. darkness, to angels with last names?”
“I’m just trying to understand all this. It’s too much and this is how I deal with it, okay?”
“Let me explain. This hasn’t exactly been done before. No Guardian, other than me, has been granted this type of request. For a Guardian to appear like a human is no easy task. We may look the part but we are not like you at all, and in order to create a human identity for myself, I had to adopt a name, for enrollment purposes. Carver High School frowns upon single names. It confuses their filing system. Unless you’ve reached celebrity status, which most of us haven’t yet.”
“Don’t tell Brynn Hanson that, she’ll freak,” I interrupted.
His laughter echoed within the space inside the car, erasing the tension.
“I simply chose a last name suitable for what I had been granted. Adam was the first man created by God.”
“And you’re the first angel to become human on earth?”
“Not human in the true sense. Lineage within our race is nothing like a human’s. Guardians simply aren’t created the same.”
I noticed we were racing back to my house at a speed I never would have attempted. Trees and houses zipped past in a blur.
“Hey, I thought angels were all about safety and preventing accidents. Do you realize how fast we’re going?”
Garreth looked at me, the gleam returning to his eyes after all the seriousness of the last few hours. “I’m taking on the daunting task of appearing like a normal teenager. Might as well enjoy it.” He reached his arm over and pulled me into his side where I rested my head against his chest. I closed my eyes for a second, wishing later would never come.
We pulled up to my house and I was grateful my mother’s car wasn’t there. I climbed down out of the seat to the sidewalk, and Garreth was already there, waiting for me. He led me by the hand up the steps to my porch, away from prying eyes. It was dark, private, the moment utterly ours. He cradled my cheek in his hand and I felt a tingling sensation against my skin. Puzzled, I pulled my face away, noticing the octagram in his skin glowing faintly. With a flash, it burst into a brilliant white light, much brighter than the night Garreth appeared to me in my room. He held it high over my head, the magical blue of his eyes sparkling silver in the glow as the light showered over me, protective and pure. It sank into me, its warmth running through me like white blood as it spread down my legs and into my feet. I watched it seep through me, watched it under my skin as it crept within me, encasing me brilliantly before it faded and dissipated under my flesh.
“Your name means light, and it’s almost as if you’re giving yourself to me.” I held my arms out in front of me, staring at them in wonder.
“I’m giving you all that I am, but it may not be enough. Over the next few days the light that shines from me will grow faint. You need it more than I do right now.” He pulled me to him and kissed the top of my head, letting his lips linger in my hair while I let my arms weave around his waist and pressed myself into his chest.
“What do you mean your light will grow faint? I don’t understand.”
That look returned to his eyes. The look of deep longing, of finding and recognizing something that had been lost, but it was changed now. Different.
“Eight days was my given limit. It’s uncertain if that’s enough time for me to return.”
Why would that be bad?
“But then you could stay with me. That’s a good thing, right?”
He shook his head. “I would no longer be your Guardian. I’d be earthbound.”
“But we’d be together.” My voice was getting that excited twinge to it.
“Teagan, I wouldn’t have the power to protect you, not like I’ve done in the past. After all this time, I’m just supposed to stop? And now, facing Hadrian is an absolute certainty.”
Why was he arguing with me on this?
“Then we face him together, like you said.”
“And what if I fail?”
I swallowed hard at his words. That just couldn’t be possible. “You said I might be stronger than you against Hadrian. You need me.”
“You’re my responsibility. Not the other way around.”
Archangel’s blood or not, Garreth wasn’t going to relinquish his day job anytime soon.
“Teagan, Hadrian is after you more than he is after me. I’m the obstacle in this game.”
“Then why give me your light?”
“Because I’m your Guardian. Every time I can prolong your life on this earth is worth it to me. It’s worth giving up mine for yours.”
What could I possibly say to that?
Garreth looked past my shoulder into the darkness that surrounded the porch. I took a tiny step closer to him. My heart was having trouble finding the good-bye I knew I had to acknowledge.
“But what will you...”
“Shhh. I’ll come back tonight. I promise.”
I was still afraid, but the newfound courage surging within me was so much stronger than giving in to my fear. Our fingers touched then slipped away, and I watched him walk around his car, open the door, and get in.
I watched the clouds stretch across the fading light of the day like elegant fingers, curling and crushing the glow from existence. Above the trees the sky was already darkening, as though an ink spill was spreading across the heavens, darker than any night I had ever seen. I took one last look at the blackness that was quickly threading itself into a deep cloud, a blackness that was alive, hovering, waiting. I ran inside and slammed the door.
Chapter Eleven
I shot a quick glance at the clock as I passed the kitchen, ran up the stairs two at a time to the bathroom, and stared at the face looking back at me. Nothing unusual, just a bit flushed, perhaps. My eyes looked a little wild, but beneath the frantic glimmer in them was something I could only detect as calm. My skin still felt warm from the pure protective light it had just absorbed.
I went to my room and sat down at my computer. It took a few seconds for it to start up and load. I impatiently bit my cuticles as I stared at the screen, waiting for the tiny icons to appear. The arrow of my mouse finally replaced the poky hourglass and I hurriedly Googled the word “angels.” Thousands of references came up for me to sift through. I didn’t have time for that. I typed in “Hadrian.” Nothing. Finally I typed th
e word “octagram” and at last it seemed I was getting somewhere.
The first listing had mathematical configurations involving the shape but it was the second that proved more promising. The website glowing on my computer screen was one containing information about magical symbols and their meanings. I scrolled down, perusing the contents until at last I found the word “octagram” and clicked on it. It took only seconds for the beautiful star to appear and take my breath away. There it was, a perfect likeness to what was engraved into the skin of Garreth’s right palm and I found myself missing him tremendously. I tore my eyes from the picture and scrolled down to read about it.
The eight-pointed star, or octagram, represents the cycle of time and the power of regeneration and return. It corresponds with the Wheel of the Year, therefore, representing the circle of seasons…
I read further, skimming over the parts pertaining to Wiccan and Pagan traditions. ...the unbroken cycle of life-death-rebirth...Gnostic meaning creation...Nordic meaning protection...two forms of the octagram. UNICURSAL is one continuous line forming the star, meaning harmony, knowledge, the future. BICURSAL is made up of two overlapping squares, representing conflict and separation.
I compared the two and without a doubt it was the unicursal star that was on Garreth’s hand. Still intrigued by the beauty of the eight-pointed star, I scrolled down, almost reaching the bottom of the web page.
The number eight is the number of the harvest, metaphorically allowing one to reap the seeds sown in the past. It is the number of fate, destiny, and justice and is long believed to symbolize completion.
Garreth had said my star was almost complete. What happens after that? I took a deep breath and pushed the thought to the back of my mind where I knew it wouldn’t stay for long. What good was anything if our time was almost up? Not just a few more days, but eternal time? I couldn’t help but feel his time to be my angel was swiftly coming to an end. I was scared of the unknown. Something, lingering in the not-so-distant future, would separate us for eternity, I was sure of it.
I scrolled back up to the top of the page to let myself study the two stars. Where had I seen the other one before? I touched the screen, tracing my finger over the squares that poked in and out of each other and a sudden chill traveled up my spine. I placed the website into my Favorites file for safekeeping just as I heard the door open downstairs, bringing with it the sound of my mother’s voice and a mouthwatering aroma wafting through the entire house.
From the moment I strolled into the kitchen, it was clear I was at the mercy of the white cardboard box with red lettering lying on the table. My stomach growled and my mother turned to look at me with a crooked grin.
“Did you skip lunch again?” She turned to the sink, focusing on the suds and the running water. “And I see you forgot about the dishes too.”
“Sorry, Mom.”
I was still in a state of disbelief from this afternoon with Garreth and I was struggling to cover it up with what I thought was supposed to be normal. I wondered if I looked different, because I certainly felt different. I tried to shake the trancelike stupor I was in and grabbed a dishtowel, but my mother beat me to it, wiping dry the last of the dishes she intended for our pizza.
She still looked tired but she was looking at me with concern now.
“Are you feeling all right, honey? You look a bit flushed.” She held my chin in her hand, turning my face to one side, examining it.
“Fine, Mom. Just hungry. Actually, I do have a headache now that you ask.” I sat down and opened the lid of the box, studying each delectable triangle.
“You need to remember to eat properly. This crazy work schedule of mine is going to require you to be a bit more independent and responsible for yourself.” She took a huge bite then proceeded to douse her slice with a hefty shake of Parmesan cheese.
I found her comment amusing. My mother had no idea. She wasn’t aware of any invisible enemy sporting large, dark wings. I chewed my pizza slowly, utterly lost in my own thoughts. I counted again. Five more days. Five more days to spend with Garreth. Five more days to defeat Hadrian.
Impossible.
I began to feel the weight of what was expected of me. The shrill ring of the phone momentarily shook me from my thoughts, but it wasn’t enough to distract me for long. I slipped back into the black hole of my dilemma, chewing my pizza as I pondered.
“It’s Claire.” My mother held the phone out to me.
“Hello?” I swallowed the last bit of crust.
“Teagan? What are you eating?”
“Pizza.”
“Are we going out? It’s Saturday.”
“Yeah, I guess so. How was last night? Did you patch everything up? And are you going to tell me what’s going on with you two?”
“Only if you promise to tell me about you-know-who.”
I wasn’t sure if I could trust myself not to tell her what was going on. Even if I tried not to, she had a way of pulling it out of me, which would be fine under normal circumstances. Except this wasn’t my secret to protect.
“Who wants to know? Madame Woo?” I asked.
“Nah. That was kind of stupid anyway. I just want to know.”
Stupid? She certainly seemed to find it funny yesterday. I could hear a shuffling and another voice in the background.
“Is Ryan there right now?”
“No, we’re meeting him later.”
“Then who…?”
“Gotta go! Pick you up at eight.”
I weighed my options. Garreth said he would be back tonight, however I had no idea what that meant in angelspeak. If I said no to Claire, my mother would pry. Saturday night out with Claire was practically a tradition. How could I break it?
I hung up and absentmindedly scratched the palm of my hand. Maybe things were turning around. I didn’t feel very lucky but maybe, just maybe, things would work out with Garreth, with Hadrian, with my suddenly frantic and insane life.
I took the crust left on my plate and tossed it into the trash.
“Plans with Claire?” Mom’s nose was in the paper.
“Yep. Plans with Claire.”
I was thinking about heaven as I went upstairs to get ready. Heaven. Immediately, Garreth came to mind and I thought about canceling with Claire and waiting for the one person who would make me truly happy. But that wouldn’t work, coming up with an excuse to both Claire and my mother. So, heaven would have to wait. Most people waited a lifetime for it. In my case, I was the lucky one. It would wait for me, at least until I came home.
Chapter Twelve
I ran down the steps to the white car waiting below. The dull pounding of bass poured loudly from the stereo and out the door that had been opened for me, the one I quickly shut once I slid inside.
“What are you listening to?” I felt myself grimace at the blaring noise that clearly had no right to be labeled music.
“It’s Ryan’s. Cool, huh?” Claire had to yell over the screeching guitar solo that filled every possible inch of space inside the small car. Strangely, she didn’t seem to mind. She peeled away from the curb, the tires of the Cabrio screaming for traction on the pavement. There was no need to answer whether I liked the music or not. My voice couldn’t compete with the heavy metal or the peeling rubber. Besides, something told me that she didn’t really care anyway.
I felt my face redden at the thought of my neighbors, peering out from behind their curtains at the racket we were causing or, worse yet, the look on my mother’s face as we drove away.
“Do you mind turning it down?”
“What?”
“Turn it down!”
I knew that was probably a bad idea. It would open the door to the conversation I wasn’t prepared for, my date with Garreth. But, at least, it wouldn’t cause me to lose my hearing at an early age.
I was shocked when Claire obliged, turning the knob the slightest bit possible to the left. At least I no longer had to shout.
“Don’t you LOVE this?”
<
br /> “It’s not my favorite, but hey, to each his own.”
I stared at the stack of newly acquired CDs. I recognized two out of the whole pile. As I thumbed through the case for something milder, I realized her old music had been replaced entirely. What confused me most was the stereo facing me. It was huge and expensive-looking, housing so many buttons and switches that it wouldn’t surprise me if a nuclear warhead could be detonated from it.
“What happened to your old stereo? You know, the one your brother installed for your birthday? Four months ago?!”
“Oh, isn’t this great? Ryan said the acoustics on my old stereo were junk.”
“Old stereo? Junk? Hello? It was brand new! Top of the line!” I couldn’t believe my ears. “Simon mowed a lot of lawns last summer to get that for you.”
I could only imagine the amount of hurt Claire’s older brother would feel when he learned all his efforts had been tossed away. At that precise point, the volume turned up, just enough to conveniently drown me out.
I stared out the window, speechless and desperately wishing I had never agreed to go out with my best friend who was suddenly a stranger. Claire was not Claire tonight and it was more than her sudden change in musical preference. With each streetlamp we passed under, the inside of the car became illuminated for a few seconds, allowing me glimpses of Claire’s transformation: the outfit, the makeup, the very different Claire she had chosen to become tonight.
I ran a compatibility check between the two of us in my head during the six seconds of silence between tracks, which was, amazingly, more deafening than the music had been. I noticed Starbucks pass by my window in a blur.
“Uh, Claire. You missed the turn!” I reached for the knob and twisted it violently to the left as far as it would go. “Claire! You passed it!”
“I know.” She looked over at me, a smirk turning up the corners of her mouth. She was deviously calm. “We’re not getting coffee. We’re getting out.”
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