An Amish Match

by Jo Ann Brown

  Sleep eluded her. The boppli seemed to have acquired a love for step dancing, and her thoughts were strident. Each time she tried to divert them by praying or thinking of something else, she was drawn right back into the morass.

  Usually she loved having store-bought pizza with its multitude of toppings, but she could barely tolerate the smell. She picked at a single piece while the rest of the family enjoyed the treat and the celebration. Somehow she managed to put on a gut front, because neither the kinder nor Joshua asked if something was bothering her. In fact, the whole family seemed giddy with happiness.

  She wanted to feel that way, too. Was she going to allow a single scent, which might not even have been there, ruin her whole day? Again she prayed for God’s help, adding a silent apology for spiraling into the terror that had stalked her during her first marriage.

  The feeling of a worthless weight being lifted from her shoulders brought back her smile...and her appetite. Rebekah finished the slice of pizza and then had two more. She smiled when Timothy and Debbie began to tease Levi about a girl he’d been seen talking to several times during the past week while working with Onkel Daniel. As he turned the tables and jested with his sister about fleeing from the chicken coop and a particularly mean hen that had chased her halfway to the house, Rebekah joined in with the laughter.

  After they finished their treat, Joshua volunteered his and the boys’ help to clean up the kitchen. She started to protest, but he insisted. Grateful, she went with the younger kinder into the living room and sat next to the sewing basket where her hand mending was piled. No matter how often she worked on it, the stack never seemed to get smaller. She took the topmost item, a pair of Levi’s trousers that needed to have the hems lowered...again! The boy was sprouting up faster than the corn in the fields.

  It didn’t take Joshua and his sons long to redd up the kitchen and join them. The boys sat on the floor, and she assumed Joshua would read to them as he did each evening.

  “I have something else for our celebration tonight.” He smiled at Rebekah. “A birthday gift.”

  “Joshua, it’s not my birthday,” she replied.

  “Who said it was for you?”

  She stared after him as he walked out the door. Hearing a muffled giggle from Debbie, she saw the little girl had her hands clamped over her mouth. Her eyes twinkled with merriment. Levi wouldn’t meet Rebekah’s gaze and Timothy, for once, was grinning broadly. Only Sammy, playing with his blocks on the braided rug, seemed oblivious.

  What were they up to?

  Her answer came when Joshua returned to the living room. He placed a cradle by her chair.

  She gasped when she ran her fingers along the cradle’s hood. The wood was as smooth as a rose petal, and it had been polished to highlight the grain. Maple, she guessed, because it had been finished to a soft honey shade. Not a single nail head was visible, and she saw dovetail joints at the corners. Her eyes widened when she realized it had been built with pegs. Only an extremely skilled woodworker could have finished the cradle using such old-fashioned techniques.

  “What do you think?” Joshua asked, squatting on the other side of the cradle. “As a birthday gift for the boppli? Like I said, it isn’t for your birthday.” He chuckled and the kinder joined in.

  Rebekah was speechless at the magnificent gift and even more so that Joshua had gotten it for her. A warmth built within her, melting the ice clamped on to her heart.

  She whispered the only word she could manage, “Danki.”

  “I hope you like it. Jeremiah built it.”

  “It’s beautiful.”

  “He does gut work.”

  She stared at the cradle and knew that gut was a feeble description of the lovely piece. Jeremiah must have spent hours sanding the wood and staining it and polishing it until the grain was gloriously displayed. She couldn’t imagine the amount of time it had taken to cut the corners to fit together so smoothly.

  “Do you like it?” Debbie asked, inching across the floor to run her fingers along the wood.

  Before she could answer, Levi began a story about how Joshua had asked them to keep the secret until the cradle was finished. Even Timothy added to the tale.

  Looking at their animated faces, she smiled at her family.

  Her family.

  Sometime in the past weeks, this house had become home and these kinder as much a part of her life as Sammy. And Joshua? She couldn’t imagine her days without him being a part of them. His gentle teasing, his solicitude, his joy when Sammy called him Daedi.

  Because Sammy loved him.

  And, she realized with a start, she wanted to let herself fall in love with him, too. Really in love, not this make-believe marriage. She wished they could share a love not overshadowed by fear and uncertainty.

  “It’s lovely,” Rebekah said to Debbie, giving the girl a hug. “Danki for letting this be a surprise.”

  “Daedi said you didn’t have a cradle for Sammy, and we wanted you to have one for my little sister.” She winked as Levi insisted, as Debbie had hoped he would in response to her teasing, that the boppli was a boy.

  Joshua glanced at his kinder, then said, “I’m glad you like it, Rebekah. I was surprised you didn’t have one for Sammy.” His gaze slid away from hers, and she wondered if he thought she wouldn’t want him speaking poorly of Lloyd.

  Hoping to ease his abrupt discomfort, she said, “Lloyd told me that he intended to get Sammy a cradle, but then I guess he didn’t have the money for it.” She ran her fingers over her belly. “This little one won’t have to sleep in a drawer. Danki, Joshua.”

  Before she could think about what she was doing and halt herself, she leaned forward and kissed his cheek.

  * * *

  Joshua wasn’t sure who was more surprised at Rebekah’s kiss, him or her. She pulled back so quickly and turned away to say something to the kinder that he couldn’t guess what she was thinking.

  But he’d heard what she said. Lloyd had promised to get a cradle for their firstborn, but then hadn’t given her the extraordinary one he’d purchased. Where had that cradle gone? Joshua knew it was unlikely that he’d ever get an answer. That bothered him less than the grief he’d heard in Rebekah’s voice when she spoke of her late husband.

  How could he hope to win her heart when it belonged to the daed of her two kinder? He hadn’t relinquished his love for his late wife. Astonishment ran through him. Tildie! When was the last time he’d thought of her? He was shocked that he couldn’t recall.

  He went through his normal evening routine, but his gaze kept wandering to Rebekah. She worked on lengthening Levi’s church pants until it was time for prayers and for the younger kinder to go to bed. Before she took Sammy into the downstairs bedroom, she gave Debbie and Levi each a kiss on the cheek, and his own skin sizzled with the memory of her lips against it.

  Soon the footsteps upstairs disappeared as the kinder found their beds. Timothy had gone outside without any explanation, but Joshua was used to his son’s changing moods. Not that he appreciated them, but he expected them.

  When Rebekah returned, she continued her sewing while he perused a new buggy parts catalogue that had come in today’s mail. Neither of them spoke as they sat facing each other across the cradle.

  “Joshua, it’s time,” she said suddenly.

  He leaped to his feet and stared at her, dropping the catalogue on the floor. “Already? I thought the boppli isn’t due for a few more weeks. Will you be okay here while I call Beth Ann?”

  She put her fingers lightly on his arm. “Joshua, it isn’t time for the boppli. It’s time to talk about selling Lloyd’s farm.”

  Glad that the kinder were elsewhere so they hadn’t seen him jump to conclusions, he lowered himself into his chair. He didn’t wait for his heart to slow from its panicked pace as he asked, “What has changed
your mind?”

  “I told you I needed time to think over the decision, and I have,” she said.

  Joshua’s teeth clenched so hard his jaw hurt. She was shutting him out again. He glared at the cradle, which had reminded her of the husband she’d chosen with love instead of the one she’d agreed to wed for convenience’s sake. He’d never imagined he’d be jealous of a dead man, but he couldn’t restrain the horrible emotion.

  Lord, help me walk the path You have chosen for me and forget about other men’s. You brought Rebekah and her family into my life for a reason. Let me be Your instrument in helping them live as You would wish for them.

  “All right,” he said, hoping hurt hadn’t seeped into his voice. “I’ll make the arrangements with Jim Zimmermann to set an auction date. It’ll take some time to prepare the auction and advertise it. He’ll want the most bidders there possible so you can get plenty of bids for the farm and the equipment.”

  “It’s been this long. A little longer won’t make any difference.” She didn’t look up from her sewing. “I’d rather not go.”

  “I understand,” he said, even though he didn’t. Actually, he comprehended why she didn’t want to watch the farm as well as her house go on the block. What he didn’t understand was why she’d come to the decision to sell now.

  “Gut. Lloyd asked you to take care of us as you think best. He’d have trusted you to oversee what needs to be done, Joshua.”

  “Do you trust me, too?”

  She finally met his eyes. “Ja.”

  His heart seemed to bounce in his chest, beating madly as if it hadn’t made a sound since Tildie had drawn her last breath and it was finally coming to life again. Rebekah trusted him. As he held her steady gaze, he knew her faith in him wasn’t because he’d given her the cradle and a home for her family. He saw something more in her eyes, something that spoke of respect and camaraderie. He didn’t dare look for more. How could he ask for her love when he withheld his own heart? The thought of loving any woman other than Tildie seemed a betrayal.

  Or was he seeing what he hoped to in Rebekah’s gaze?

  He would know, one way or the other, with his next words. “I’d like to talk to you about one very important matter.”

  “I told you. I trust you to handle the farm auction.”

  He shook his head. “This doesn’t have anything to do with the farm. It’s about Sammy and the little one.”

  She curved her hand over her stomach. “What about them?”

  “What do you think of me adopting them?”

  Her breath came out in a gasp, and she stared at him without speaking. For the second time that evening, he had shocked her into silence.

  “Rebekah, I should have phrased that better. I’ve been thinking about this since Jeremiah dropped off the cradle. He asked if I intended to become the kinder’s legal daed.”

  She started to speak, then stuttered into silence again.

  “Take all the time you need to consider it and pray about it, Rebekah,” he said. “I’m not asking you to take this step because I want you and the kinder to forget Lloyd is their true daed, but if Jeremiah is asking, others may be, too. I think we should have an answer to give those who ask.”

  Finally she spoke in a whisper, “Ja, we should have an answer.” She put the garment she’d been working on back into the mending basket and slowly stood. “I need to pray about this, Joshua.”

  “I will, too.”

  She nodded and again started to speak, but said nothing as she walked out of the room.

  He heard the bedroom door softly close behind her, shutting him out as she did each night.

  With a sigh, he rose. He glanced at the stairs, but how could he sleep after the evening’s events? Rebekah had kissed his cheek, albeit as chastely as she did the kinder’s. She’d expressed her faith in him. She hadn’t turned him down when he spoke of adopting her and Lloyd’s kinder, even though he’d failed to mention the true reason why he asked. Not his brother’s curiosity or anyone else’s mattered as much as how much he had come to consider Sammy his own and the boppli, as well.

  He walked into the kitchen and noticed light flowing across the floor. He looked out the window and saw two figures silhouetted against the faint light from the lantern in the barn. One was Timothy. Joshua frowned when he realized the other person was Alexis Granger. She held the handles of a large tote bag with both hands, and she was talking earnestly. He couldn’t hear what they were saying, but their posture suggested they were discussing something important.

  What was the Englisch girl doing over here at this time of night? Brad had mentioned more than once that he insisted his daughter be home by dark, except on weekend nights when she could be out until midnight with her friends.

  He took a step toward the door, then heard a soft voice say, “Don’t.”

  Turning, he discovered Rebekah coming around the kitchen table. “I thought you’d gone to bed,” he said.

  “Sammy wanted a drink of water, so I came to get it.” She looked out the window. “If you confront Timothy in front of his friend, he won’t heed anything you say. You have to talk to him as you did about working with his onkels. He listened to you then.”

  “He needs to listen to me now.”

  “I agree, but he won’t hear you if he feels he has to defend himself. Talk to him tomorrow when you can be calm and present a reasonable argument about how he could hurt his friend’s reputation if it’s discovered he’s meeting her after dark in the barn.”

  “Do you think they—”

  “I think they are gut people who care about each other, but I don’t think she sees him as anyone other than a friend. He might have a different opinion of their relationship. Even so, you’ve taught him well. Trust him to know the right thing to do.”

  He glanced once more at the teenagers, then nodded. “How do you know so much about teenagers when Sammy is only a toddler?”

  “I don’t know. I’m going with what my instincts tell me.”

  “I hope your instincts are right.” He looked out to see Alexis sprinting across the yard in the direction of the Grangers’ house. The large bag flapped against her legs on each step.

  “So do I.” He heard the fervor in her voice. “So do I.”

  Chapter Twelve

  On the day the farm was to be auctioned, the kinder pleaded to attend with Joshua. Rebekah agreed because she had always enjoyed auctions. She warned them that, other than Timothy, none of them must join the crowd that was bidding unless they were with Joshua or one of their grossmammis. Buyers would be annoyed if they were distracted by kinder running about.

  Grossmammi Wanda handed covered dishes to the kinder in the family buggy. Now that her cast was off, she seemed to be trying to make up for lost time. Each kind, including Sammy, was given a plate or a pot to watch over. Wanda had insisted on bringing food, even though the members of Rebekah’s old district would be offering food for sale. It was a fund-raiser for a husband and wife in the district who each needed surgery.

  When Joshua stepped up into the buggy, he said to his mamm, “We’ll see you at the auction later.”

  “We’ll be there as soon as Esther finishes frosting the cupcakes she’s making.” After offering a wave, Wanda climbed into her own buggy, turned it and drove down the driveway.

  “I get tired trying to keep up with her,” Joshua said, shaking his head. “She has more energy than a dozen people.”

  “True.” She looked from Wanda’s buggy to the one holding her family.

  Sammy was giggling and trying to peek into the plastic bowl on his lap. Debbie steadied it and whispered in his ear. That set him to chortling even more. Beside them, Levi was squirming as he always did when he was excited. Timothy sat in the front with his daed, trying to wear an expression of world-weary boredom, though
she suspected he was as eager to go to the auction as his siblings were.

  They were going away for the day, and she’d be alone in the house. Sadie had gone home for the weekend, leaving food for their meals in the refrigerator. Mending waited, as always, but she didn’t want to spend the day doing that or trying to work in the garden. Bending over was getting harder every day.

  She wanted to spend the day with her family.

  Instantly she made up her mind. “Joshua, can you wait a minute while I get my bonnet and shoes?” She smiled. “It may take more than a minute for me to find my feet and get my shoes tied, but not so long that we’ll be late for the auction.”

  “You want to go, too?” Joshua asked.

  She understood his surprise. She’d been adamant about not being there. Joshua believed it would make her sad because of memories of Lloyd. In a way, he was right, but her sorrow focused on how her dreams for a life with Lloyd had faded away into a desperate struggle to survive and protect Sammy from his daed.

  When Joshua had asked her about adopting Sammy and the boppli, he hadn’t had any idea how difficult it had been not to shout out ja immediately. Once the kinder had the Stoltzfus name, they could grow up without anyone watching for Lloyd’s weaknesses. Best of all, she wouldn’t have to disillusion Joshua about his friend. The secret of Lloyd’s abuse could truly and completely be buried along with him.

  She needed to find the right time to tell him that she wanted him to be the kinder’s legal daed. A time when they were alone so the kinder didn’t hear, and a time long enough after he first asked so he wouldn’t ask the questions she didn’t want to answer.

  “Ja,” she said. “I’ve changed my mind. Women do that, you know.”

  “So I’ve heard. More than once.” He motioned for Timothy to move to the back with his siblings. Joshua walked with her to the house, offering to help her with her shoes, and gave her the tender smile that made her heart do jumping jacks. “I’m glad you’re coming with us.”