by Gina Conroy
“Can’t blame him. Yet what a hard thing to do.”
“He said the police haven’t released the body yet, so he’s not sure when the funeral will be.”
“Surely they’ll speed up the autopsy. He was a judge.”
“It’ll still take time.” Daniel rubbed his head in a brisk motion, then pointed down the sidewalk. “Ready?”
“Sure.” Ciara locked her door and then joined him.
They walked side by side as they retraced their route from the previous night. They stopped when they reached the bridge over I-395. Below, the headlights of cars raced, heading into the city and down into the Virginia suburbs. Daniel seemed lost in thought, not attempting to keep up banter. As the silence stretched, Ciara wondered why he’d bothered to join her. Being alone wasn’t so bad in light of his brooding.
She bumped his shoulder. “What’s eating you?”
He started and glanced down at her. “What?”
“You’re a million miles away. Why come if you didn’t want to? I didn’t make you.”
“I couldn’t stomach going home to nothing.”
The words branded her. “Thanks.”
“Wait, that’s not what I meant.” Daniel stifled a groan. “Today everything’s coming out strange.”
“This from the guy who won every moot court competition he entered?” Ciara arched an eyebrow, and in the light of the streetlamps he could tell she wasn’t biting.
“My wit abandoned me.”
“That happens. But seriously, go home. I’m not someone to mark time with. Either be here or go.”
Her words hit him in the chest like a line drive. He could remember every moment of the last time she’d thrown them at him. Still regretted walking away. Not fighting for her. Guess he had a choice this time. Would she let him make it? Her posture tensed as if she’d braced for him to stalk off like he had the last time. Instead, he forced his shoulders to relax.
“I’m not going anywhere, Ciara.”
“This time?”
He nodded. “I’ve regretted leaving.”
“Then why did you?” He saw moisture reflected in her eyes. “I stayed right here.”
It had seemed the right choice at the time. Now he knew he’d turned into a coward that night and all the nights following. Ciara had paid the price. Maybe she’d give him a chance to fix it. Make things right. Earn the right to be with her again.
Maybe.
Daniel’s eyes tried to send her a message, but in the shadows, Ciara couldn’t read them. Just once, she wished he’d come out and say it. Whatever was on his mind, just spit it out. What made it so hard for him to own what he’d done?
He’d left.
She’d stayed.
And then they collided in court. Two planets destined to crash and explode whenever they intersected. She loved the attraction, hated the collisions.
She shoved her hands in her pockets and turned away from the traffic flying by below. It was time to head home. “I’m sorry, Daniel.”
As she walked away, she listened. Would he follow?
The whizzing of cars threatened to overlay any other noise, but she couldn’t hear him. She bit back a tear at the realization he wouldn’t follow her tonight. She shouldn’t have expected anything else.
Two days later, Clive buzzed Daniel. “Detective on the phone for you.”
Maybe the man had news for him. Good news. Daniel desperately needed some as his thoughts continued to cycle back to the night he let Ciara walk away—again. “Thanks.”
He picked up the phone and punched the blinking light. “Evans here.”
“This is Detective Howard. I’m working Judge Banter’s murder.”
“Yes, sir. What can I do for you today?”
“Do you know if the judge had any health conditions?”
“No.” Daniel scoured his memory. “He hadn’t mentioned anything the last few times we met.”
“All right.”
“Have you talked to Alexander? He could at least tell you who his dad’s doctor was.”
“He didn’t know. Typical kid. Out of touch with his parents’ health. And there are no prescriptions at the house. We’ll keep digging.”
“Any suspects?”
“A few, but can’t mention them in an ongoing investigation.” The detective’s voice indicated he thought an attorney should know that answer.
“Sorry I couldn’t be more help.”
The detective thanked him and hung up. Daniel’s fingers hovered over the numbers, poised to dial Ciara. Had she received a similar call? Maybe if he hadn’t let her walk away, he could call. Instead, it felt like the chasm between them had widened again rather than shrinking. He was a fool.
Ciara kept waiting for something—something she didn’t want to define. But if she looked at her cell phone one more time, just to make sure she hadn’t somehow missed a call, she would chuck it out the nearest window so the closest vehicle could run over it.
No man should have this much control over her thoughts, especially Daniel.
She groaned. She’d done it again, let her thoughts cycle around when they should be focused on her job.
Her clients added meaning to her days. If she could protect one woman and her children, she’d done something that mattered. But could she really do that anyway? She wasn’t God. She could only do her best to provide some boundaries.
“Get up.” Linda stood in the doorway, Vera Bradley bag hooked over her shoulder. “It’s time to get you out of here.”
When Linda had that look in her eye, Ciara hopped to attention. The woman’s instincts had been aroused, so she might as well go along. Otherwise, she wouldn’t hear the end of Linda’s mothering. Ciara tugged her purse from her bottom desk drawer and stood. “Where are we going?”
“Somewhere we can clear your head.” As soon as they exited the office, Linda made a beeline for King Street. She set a pace that made Ciara almost trot to keep up.
“Where’s the emergency?”
“You need some ice cream therapy.”
“I don’t know about the therapy, but ice cream sounds good.”
“Of course.” Linda lowered her sunglasses just enough to let Ciara know how ridiculous her statement was. “Every girl needs it from time to time. Now spill the beans.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Don’t play dumb. I may be your paralegal, but I’ve worked with you long enough to know when something is eating through you. I don’t think it’s a client situation this time. We haven’t had an emergency in several weeks. So what is it?”
Ciara’s steps slowed. Linda was much more than her assistant. The woman’s kind care and concern had won her over almost from Linda’s first day on the job. If anyone at the office really knew Ciara, she was the one. But that didn’t mean Ciara wanted to lay everything out for inspection.
Linda slowed her pace as they neared Scoop’s Grill and Homemade Ice Cream. The deep green storefront gave way to an inside with a refreshingly short line. Often the line would extend outside, and Ciara didn’t have that kind of time for a quick break.
“So are you going to say anything?”
“Other than the Rocky Road, what looks good?”
Linda rolled her eyes, then chuckled. “All right. You don’t have to say anything. But if you don’t shake whatever’s bothering you, the big boss is going to notice. I’m surprised you haven’t yanked your cell out half a dozen times to check it for calls.”
“Am I that pathetic?”
“Lately… yes.” Linda placed her order then paid. “I know the judge dying shocked you, but that doesn’t explain all this.”
Ciara accepted her paper dish of gooey pistachio ice cream. “I know. Let’s just say it’s reopened old wounds. The kind I’m a fool to entertain.”
“So why do that?”
Ciara took a bite, letting the creamy flavor slide down her throat as she bought time. “I’m a glutton for torture?”
Linda shook
her head. “Try again.”
“I’m a fool who believes true love exists.” The moment the words left, she cringed. She had not meant to say those words out loud. Not even to Linda.
Linda scooped a bite into her mouth and dug out another. She pointed the loaded spoon at Ciara. “True love exists. But it takes a lot of work. The kind that doesn’t run when something gets tough.”
“Did you somehow join us on our walk?”
“Us? Meaning Daniel Evans?”
“Yeah.” Ciara pushed back out on the sidewalk. “I told you I’m a fool. He’s already hurt me once, and I let him walk right back in after one nice evening.”
“But you walked away?” Linda’s brow furrowed as she followed.
“I did.” Ciara grimaced and pulled her shoulders up. “Can you believe it? We were talking, and I walked away like a fool. And I wanted him to follow me. What a waste of hope.”
Chapter 5
A waste of hope. The words echoed through her mind as Ciara tried to focus on her job. When had romance and true love devolved to something too painful to risk?
When she and Daniel first broke things off.
She’d been convinced they had forever in front of them. A bright future working together, righting the wrongs of their little corner of the world. That happily-ever-after never materialized, and she’d let the disappointment kill her hope of ever finding love. Working on so many broken marriages didn’t help her perspective. It was easy to become jaded. To believe anything else came from watching one too many Disney cartoons as a kid. She’d bought into the whole idea that there was one man out there who would complete her and make her whole.
She knew better. Really she did. Life had shown her Jesus was the only One who would never leave her.
Where did one buy hope and learn not to spend it frivolously on people who didn’t respond?
She pulled on her trench coat and added a stack of case files to her briefcase. Nothing like a little late-night reading to keep her occupied. Maybe she could make up for her wandering thoughts. She walked to her car and then drove up King Street to her neighborhood. When she pulled into the cul-de-sac, she slammed on the brakes.
What was he doing here?
Daniel leaned against his car, legs crossed and his hands crammed in his pockets. His sports jacket looked rumpled, and his hair mussed like he’d just run his fingers through it again. She eased the BMW into the parking spot next to his older sedan.
“You could get your car towed if you leave it here.” What an opening line.
A tired smile lifted the corner of his mouth. “That’s why I didn’t leave.” He studied her a moment. “I hope I won’t have to leave it here long.” “What?”
“Join me for supper tonight.” He glanced down at the pavement. “I want to make it up to you.”
“Make what up?” The man didn’t make any sense.
“Letting you walk away.” He looked up, his gaze colliding with hers with such intensity she almost jolted. “Give me another chance?”
She searched his eyes. Could she open her heart again, risk him hurting her? She tugged her lower lip between her teeth. Everything in her screamed no, except for a small corner of hope that whispered it could be okay if she’d risk it all. “Okay. But don’t do something like that again.”
Daniel shoved his hands in his pockets to resist reaching out and touching the strand of hair that had escaped her ear. How like Ciara to agree, but then tack on her own stipulations. He’d seen that maneuver a hundred times. “Do you need a few minutes to get ready?”
“No more than five.”
“I’ll wait here.” He gestured to his car. “Make sure this piece of metal doesn’t get towed.”
She studied him another moment, her hazel eyes probing his, and he wondered if she found whatever she looked for. Part of him questioned why he’d come. They seemed destined to act like two magnets, attracted and repelled all at the same time. It was a maddening dance, but one he had to try again. Maybe this time they’d get the steps right and avoid each other’s toes.
He flipped around and placed his elbows on the roof so he could watch for her return. After another long day, he’d considered heading home, but the detective’s call had made him reluctant to spend the evening alone.
All those meals by himself got repetitious. And while many women thought dating an attorney was great, many were reluctant to get too close to someone who specialized in the law of broken families. Didn’t exactly feed their longings for happily ever after.
“Waiting for someone—or stalking her?”
Daniel startled and whipped around. A woman in her forties studied him. “Waiting.”
“All right. Treat her gently.”
“Do I know you?”
The woman laughed. “I don’t believe we’ve ever met. But I have the feeling you’re the man giving Ciara so much trouble. I’m Susan Holland. I live in that unit there.”
“Daniel Evans. Nice to meet you?”
“Nice to meet you, but I’m serious. Be careful around her. She deserves someone who will treat her like a princess.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Daniel wasn’t sure what else to say to an assault like that. He straightened with some relief when Ciara hurried from her town house.
“Hello, Susan. Ready to go, Daniel?”
“Absolutely.”
“Have a nice evening.”
Ciara slipped into his car then turned to him. “Did she give you a hard time?”
“No,” he bluffed. “Why would you think that?”
“Something about the shell-shocked look around your eyes. Where are we headed?”
“Shirlington? I know it’s close, but there are some great restaurants there.”
“Sounds perfect.”
Daniel pointed his car down the hill and, in a few moments, slid into a parking space in the parking garage. He opened the passenger door and waited for Ciara to slide from the vehicle. “Feel like the Carlyle?”
Ciara paused and looked at the cranberry red awning. The food was always excellent at the Carlyle, but did she think it was too formal for the night? “How about the Capital City Brewing Company? A burger sounds good.”
Sound invariably ricocheted off the concrete floor while the high stools made it easy to mix and mingle in a group. It provided a casual atmosphere compared to the Carlyle, but Daniel didn’t know if that was what he wanted tonight. Although, after his stunt earlier in the week, he decided to let her take the lead. This time he’d follow, even if it was to a nice burger joint.
She maneuvered among the tables set outside and into the restaurant. In no time, a hostess led them to a black Formica table in a corner. Daniel thanked her, hoping the location would give him a chance to actually hear Ciara. In short order, a waitress had glasses of tea in front of them and had collected their orders.
Ciara sat across the table, twisting the edges of the paper napkin wrapped around her silverware. Her jittery edge made him again regret letting her leave.
“I’m sorry, Ciara.” He reached across and stilled her fingers. A jolt of electricity shot up his arm, and he pulled back. “Forgive me.”
She considered him through glazed eyes. Had she felt the jolt, too? Then she seemed to snap out of whatever place she’d disappeared. “Yes.” She glanced down and uncurled the napkin, settling it across her lap. “But I’m not sure how many more times I’ll let you do that.”
“I understand.” What else could he say? It wasn’t like they could launch any kind of serious relationship.
Ciara studied him. He still didn’t get it. Didn’t understand the hurt he’d inflicted when he hadn’t fought for her. That was what the prince did. Battled for his girl, even if the fight was with her.
She needed to know she mattered. More than what, she couldn’t say. Simply that she mattered more.
A throb pounded a steady beat in her temple. She resisted the urge to step away, protect herself, and abort the headache. “Daniel, what is it you want?”<
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“Sorry?” He leaned back and crossed his arms across his chest. Even in khakis and a polo, he had an air of authority that had the women at nearby tables glancing his way. He brushed a lock of wavy hair off his forehead, and Ciara could almost hear the collective swoon.
“Is friendship what we can attain?” She gestured at the space between them. “Or is there more?”
“I don’t know.” He looked like he regretted bringing her here.
How long until the appetizer arrived? They needed something to look at other than each other. How sad was that? Two adults who couldn’t carry on a simple conversation. Discussing their jobs didn’t work. Instant jump to conflict. What else did they have in common?
“So where are you going to church?”
Daniel’s quiet question caught her off guard. “Me?” she asked.
He glanced around, a small smile on his lips. “See anyone else with us?”
“You don’t have to use sarcasm.” Yet she couldn’t help a grin. “There’s a community church right off King Street that’s not too far from my neighborhood. It’s a smallish congregation, but I like knowing most of those who call it home. Are you going somewhere?”
“Just switched to a non-denom in downtown DC. It meets in a theater, kind of different, but the pastor gets me every week. Being uncomfortable is a good thing.”
Ciara had to nod. She loved that her pastor seemed to nail her each week with ways her life needed to change to better reflect Christ. “I don’t remember you talking about church much when we clerked.”
Daniel shrugged. “It wasn’t that important. But I couldn’t be around a man like Judge Banter without wanting to learn more about how life could be infused with Christ in such a natural way. More than Sundays, but not preachy, if that makes sense.”
“It does.” Ciara prayed her life contained that same natural fragrance of Christ. “How do you reconcile that—” She stopped short. She did not want to bring up work. Not tonight.
“With my job?” He leaned forward, closing the distance between them. “Can you believe that just like some attorneys are committed to every accused person having a criminal defense, I’m committed to men having an attorney even if they aren’t great dads or husbands? Some have tried. Others don’t care. But they all get their defense. Maybe you’ll never accept that, but it’s who I am.”