No, this was something different. Something was coming, but she had no idea what. Just as quickly as the feeling washed over her, it faded away, leaving her alone and confused. She shook it off and increased her pace as she made her way to the daycare center. She’d spend an hour there at most and then head back home. There was no use being careless and spending too much time out on the streets alone, especially when she felt as though someone may be watching her.
Her Pack was on the verge of change, and she knew not everyone was happy with that. No one knew who would become Alpha or goddess-blessed, though the Pack had a feeling it would be her brother. As for Dawn, no one thought much of anything about her. She was just who she was.
“You’re being an idiot,” she mumbled to herself. Annoyed, she quickly called the daycare center and told them she wouldn’t be able to volunteer today. When her wolf was on edge like this, she knew better than to ignore the signs.
She needed her family and the relative safety of her den. With her wolf closer to the surface now, she headed to her car and drove the short distance to her den. There was one major city near the three shifter dens—the Redwoods, Talons, and Centrals—with a few smaller towns dotted around, as well. She knew of one other Pack, the Aspens, that lived a few hours south, but as far as she knew, she’d never met them. Thankfully, most of the area around where she lived was either owned outright by the other major wolf Packs, or it was considered a nature preserve.
She drove through the wards that surrounded her den and parked next to the small house where her family lived. The Centrals had been in hiding for so long that they hadn’t built up their den like others had. So, she still lived in the home she’d grown up in with her parents and her brother, Cole—most likely their future Alpha.
As soon as she got out of her car, her brother walked out, a frown on his face and his arms open. They were close in age—both in their mid-twenties—and had grown up with only each other to lean on. While she might not understand the path her brother was on now, she knew he’d always be there for her.
She leaned into him, inhaling the scent of his wolf that spoke of power and strength. Her wolf calmed. Dawn hadn’t needed to say a word, yet he’d been there for her. That was Pack. That was family.
And maybe one day soon, the bonds that she’d only heard about that slid through wolves and anchored them to the moon goddess and each other would wind through her, as well.
But for now, she had her family. That was all she needed.
And no matter what, she wouldn’t think about the scowling wolf who’d spoken directly to her for the first time that day. He didn’t fit into her plans—no matter how much he intrigued her wolf.
Chapter Three
Blood spilled to the ground, covering Mitchell’s hands and knees as he bent over her prone body and tried not to move her. She was so fragile, so human, and covered in so much blood. Too much blood.
“Heather,” he whispered, his voice cracking. “Don’t move, baby.”
She blinked her deep green eyes up at him and shivered, her gaze not quite right. He was losing her inch-by-inch, moment-by-moment, and there was nothing he could do.
Nothing she’d let him do.
“You did this,” she whispered, her voice a rasp. “It was you. It’s your fault.”
He reared back, the darkness surrounding them growing ever closer. This wasn’t right. This wasn’t how it had happened. He stared at the blood on his hands, his body shaking.
He hadn’t done this. He hadn’t killed her.
But there was blood on his hands.
Mitchell sat up in bed, his sweat-slick skin sticking to his sheets. He peeled the top sheet off and grimaced before running his hand over his face. He hadn’t had that dream in a few months, but it was just as vivid as ever. It always started the same—the blood, his fear, and the ragdoll look of Heather near him. But the ending changed every once in a while to either show him what had truly happened or manifest as his fear lashing out at him. At least in this version, she hadn’t crawled to him like in one of those horror movies. That one hadn’t let him sleep soundly again for almost a month.
He’d lost Heather decades ago, yet he still dreamed of her.
That’s what happened when you lost half of your soul—you didn’t get it back.
“Goddess, help me,” he muttered, not really expecting an answer. She may have spoken to some of his cousins, but she’d never shown herself to him. If it weren’t for the fact that he could literally shift into a wolf when he wanted to and feel the Pack bonds as well as the tie that spoke to him as Beta, he’d have thought the goddess just a figment of someone’s imagination.
Annoyed that he’d woken up like he had and would never be able to get back to sleep, he got out of bed and stripped it before heading to the laundry room. He tossed the sheets and his sweaty shorts in and started the load. He had other laundry to do, but he wanted to get rid of the evidence of his sleepless night.
Though he wanted coffee, he figured a shower would probably be the best idea. He could still feel and scent the sweat on his skin, and he wouldn’t be able to get comfortable until he washed it off. It wasn’t quite sunrise yet, and that meant he had a few hours until he met up with his brother and headed to the meeting with the Packs. He could at least get a few things done around the house since he was up at this ungodly hour.
Mitchell walked naked into his bathroom and into the shower stall, turning on the water to full blast before it heated up. His wolf growled deep inside at the rush of cold over their skin, but he ignored it. After sweating through his sheets like he had, the frigid temperature was a blessing. He quickly washed his hair and body, his eyes not quite open since he hadn’t slept well.
As he slowly woke up, so did another part of him, and since he only got relief from his hands these days, he gripped himself, squeezing the base slightly. Water slid down his back, and he added soap to his hand so he could glide over himself with ease; his fist clenching around his length as vivid images of soft blond hair and blue eyes filled his mind.
He paused for only a second, his brain misfiring since that image wasn’t one he normally thought of when he made himself come. Annoyed, yet still in need of release, he pushed thoughts of that particular woman away and tried to get his orgasm over with. Of course, his mind and wolf never seemed to listen to him these days, so now he couldn’t help but picture Dawn licking her lips.
With a growl, he picked up his pace and pumped his hips, visions of Dawn on her knees as she took him into her mouth, and then him making her come over and over again filling his mind. When his balls tightened, he fisted his other hand against the shower wall and came hard, his body shaking, and thoughts of Dawn never leaving his mind.
Cursing, he cleaned himself up again and turned off the now cooling water. What the hell had that been about? He’d never thought of anyone but Heather when he came. Hell, these past few years, he’d only thought about the shadow of a woman since it’d been so long since he held Heather in his arms. Now, with just one spoken word to the woman he’d been avoiding for the past year, he’d jacked off to her?
Bile filled his mouth, and he bent over the sink, trying to calm himself so he didn’t throw up. His soul belonged to another—even if she hadn’t fully understood what that meant at the time. He didn’t have the right to think of anyone else like that, let alone a younger wolf who hadn’t yet seen the world, and especially a woman he didn’t even know. She might be beautiful and may even have a spine of steel considering what Pack she’d grown up in, but she wasn’t for him.
No one was anymore.
Disgusted with himself, he wiped his face and brushed his teeth before pulling on the clothes he’d laid out. He had to see his brother before he went to the all-Packs meeting later that day. Honestly, he wasn’t in the mood to do either, but he didn’t really have a choice.
Max hadn’t been the same since the final attack on the den that left so many of them dead or injured. Once, Max had been the
smiling one of the Brentwoods, the only one who seemed to have made it out of the prior dictatorship within the Talon Pack emotionally whole. That couldn’t be said anymore, and Mitchell hated the loss, but letting Max know that wouldn’t help anything.
Pushing thoughts of that and whatever the hell he’d been thinking about in the shower firmly out of his mind, he headed over to Max’s home that wasn’t that far from Mitchell’s. All of the current Brentwoods lived within the den walls, though now it was by choice and not how it had been before Mitchell became the Beta. His uncle, the former Alpha and his cousins’ father, had been an asshole to the highest degree and hadn’t wanted anyone in his family to have a life of their own. So though some, like Mitchell himself, had been forced to have jobs outside the den to put money in the family’s coffers, they’d been forced to live under the archaic rule of an Alpha who didn’t care for his people.
Things were different now, but sometimes it was hard to throw away decades of memories and learn to live in the now. Shaking his head, he knocked on Max’s door before walking right in since he’d never needed an invitation in the past to see his sibling. And if Max had a problem with that, well, Mitchell would just force his little brother to deal with it. Treating Max as anything but who he’d always been would only hurt him in the long run—at least that’s what Mitchell figured. He could be doing all of this wrong and might end up making things worse, but he was at a loss for what to do. Normally open-and-honest Max was now closed off tighter than a drum. None of the others in the Pack—Mitchell included—could get to his little brother through Pack bonds. Max had bottled up his emotions and needs so tightly that no one could help.
Not that they’d know what to do if they could…
“Max, you ready to go?” Mitchell called out.
Silence greeted him, and he let out a sigh before going into the living room and starting to clean up. It wasn’t that his brother was messy, it was as if Max just didn’t care anymore. Clothes were strewn about, and books were left open and stacked on top of one another. There wasn’t any dust or garbage around, but things were a little cluttered—something that had never been the case before the attack.
“You don’t need to clean up after me,” Max said softly from the doorway.
Mitchell looked up sharply, though he’d scented his brother before the other man spoke. “I don’t mind.”
Max snorted. “Yeah, you do. It’s fine, Mitchell. You don’t have to act like the nice one.”
Mitchell just shook his head and piled up the clothing in different hampers Max had left out in the living room. “Shut up. I’m just helping since I’m here and I don’t like messes.”
“Helping because you want to? Or because you think I can’t do it myself?” Max growled and held up what was left of his right arm. The explosion that had taken out part of the den had also taken his brother’s arm below the elbow. Shifters could heal many things, but they couldn’t regrow limbs or organs.
Mitchell let out a sigh, and the scars on his brother’s face and neck tightened. Since Max wore a long-sleeved shirt—with one arm pinned up—Mitchell couldn’t see the rest of the jagged scars that ran along his chest and body, but he knew they were there. He’d watched his cousin Walker, their Healer, try his best to piece Max back together after the maniac who’d attacked them took out his personal wrath on Max, but it hadn’t been enough. There had been such trauma to Max’s body that his brother hadn’t been able to heal without scarring. Maybe, one day, his body would heal more, but for now, every time Mitchell’s brother looked in a mirror or down at himself, he would see the evidence of what happened.
No wonder Max didn’t laugh anymore.
“We need to head to the all-Packs meeting. Gideon wants us both there.” Mitchell was going in his role as Beta since all the Packs needed their Alphas and Betas there. In addition to the lieutenants who would be there for the Alphas’ safety as their security force, each Pack could also bring one additional member. Gideon wanted Max since he was not only a council member, but also a calming force. Usually. Mitchell wasn’t sure the latter was true anymore, but if Gideon wanted it done, they did it.
Max met his eyes for a brief moment, the gold rim around the irises telling him that Max’s wolf was close to the surface.
“Don’t know why he needs me there. There are other council members that could go.”
“Because he wants you!” Mitchell yelled, then cursed inwardly when Max flinched. “Shit. I’m sorry. I had a crappy night, and I shouldn’t take it out on you. But, seriously, Gideon wants one of the council members with him since I think Kade is bringing one of the Redwood members that you work with. This should be an easy enough meeting, but you know how Blade is.” Blade was the Alpha of the Aspens and an asshole on most days.
Max ran his hand over his face and let out a breath. “I need to find my shoes.” He turned but halted before he made his way back to his bedroom. “Nightmares again?”
Mitchell swallowed hard. “Yeah.”
“You ever going to tell us why you have them? Or what happened that night?”
“Get moving, Max,” Mitchell growled softly instead of answering. “We don’t want to be late and give Blade any ammunition.”
Max didn’t say anything, but Mitchell saw his brother’s shoulders drop. However much Mitchell wanted to have Max whole and healthy again, he knew that there were some things he couldn’t tell. Some secrets were better left buried.
Gideon pinched the bridge of his nose, and Mitchell had a feeling his Alpha was about to reach across the table and throttle Blade. Frankly, it was just another day at an all-Packs meeting.
The name of the meeting was actually a misnomer since it was only the three Packs of the Pacific Northwest that met up like this. Mitchell wasn’t sure there had ever been a true all-Packs meeting, and he didn’t think there ever would be. Too many dominant wolves in one place meant that things could go haywire, quickly. Parker, their new Pack member, was the Voice of the Wolves and had met each Alpha over time to try and pave the way for connections, but Mitchell knew that, in some cases, that might be a lost cause.
Their animals were far too close to the surface to truly come together.
However, Gideon and Kade were trying to bring at least some semblance of peace to their territories. The war that had taken out the Centrals over thirty years ago came about because of greed and lack of communication. No one wanted that to happen again, so the Redwoods and Talons were trying to make sure they met and were kept in the loop on some things.
The Aspens, however, never looked like they wanted to be there.
“I’m just saying,” Blade drawled, “I don’t think the Centrals have a right to be a Pack. They called a demon to our world. Who knows what would have happened if we hadn’t taken it out.”
“We?” Kade asked, his head tilting like that of his wolf. “I don’t remember you coming to our aid when my parents died on the battlefield, and my son was left to become the Heir when he could barely shift.” Nick, Kade’s other son and Beta to the Redwoods, leaned forward, but not in aggression. Mitchell figured the kid—who wasn’t really a kid anymore—was just trying to keep his father’s temper under control.
Blade narrowed his eyes, but before he could say anything else, his Beta, a woman named Audrey, tapped her knuckles on the table.
“This isn’t getting us anywhere,” she said calmly.
Mitchell studied the woman and tried to figure her out. While her Alpha was a royal bastard, Audrey seemed like she had a decent head on her shoulders. She was the first female Beta he’d ever met, but in all honesty, he hadn’t met that many since he spent so much of his life under lock and key. There was something…off about her, though, and he couldn’t quite place it.
She must have felt his gaze because she turned to glare at him, and he gave her a nod, trying to ease the tension.
“We don’t have a say in whether the Centrals become a Pack or not,” Mitchell said after a moment.
�
�The hell we don’t,” Blade spat, and Mitchell could have sworn Audrey sighed.
“We don’t choose which groups become a Pack,” Gideon said softly, his voice firm. “That is up to the moon goddess. We might not be old enough to remember how it is when a Pack is first birthed, but we all know the stories. The signs. The Centrals paid a penance that was never theirs to pay.”
“Bullshit,” the Aspen lieutenant hissed. Mitchell didn’t know the other man’s name, but he always sided with Blade.
“Those who attacked the Redwoods are long dead,” Kade said over the other man’s curses. “If anyone should have an issue with the Centrals getting the blessing from the moon goddess, it’s my Pack, but we are all in agreement that those left to become a new Pack don’t deserve our wrath.”
Mitchell nodded. “They were the ones who left when they could, knowing they could die because of the Pack bonds, but they did so for their children. They’ve spent thirty years living a shadow of a life because they never felt like they would be welcome anywhere—and hell, I’m not sure they were wrong about that, at least at some points in these past years with everyone going on—but their wolves need that connection. Not everyone can go lone wolf.”
“Not everyone should have to,” Max said softly, surprising Mitchell. Max had been silent up until then, as if trying to keep the others from noticing him. Now, those who didn’t know Max stared at his scars, and Mitchell wanted to run his claws over anyone who dared to look at his brother in any way other than seeing the sacrifices Max had made for his Pack.
“We’re not here to decide if the Centrals deserve power,” Gideon said after a moment. “We all know this Cole will be Alpha. Our wolves know it, and our elders have spoken. But what we can do is help him. He’s never lived under an Alpha. He and his sister were born after they left the Centrals. They need guidance.”
Destiny Disgraced Page 3