by H J Perry
The TV camera broadcast a wide view, showing the three of them sitting in a flower-filled garden.
"Jason Tant played for England, and Carlos Garcia played for Spain. Both of you have played for Birmingham South City, along with our third guest Harry Carter."
"By ironic coincidence Jason, you could have also played for the Spanish team as you have a Spanish mother." The camera focused on Jason.
"Yes, that's correct. As Carlos often reminds me."
"Carlos, despite having Spanish parents, you have lived in the UK for most of your life. And we are sitting in your garden."
"Not just mine." Carlos smiled at the camera.
"Indeed, you and Harry have been married for how long?"
"Nine years."
"Tonight's show is part of a series about gay men and sports. Harry and Carlos, you married and kept your relationship secret for years, and Jason you did the same with your husband."
"Scott isn't a footballer, but right now he has the most important job to do. He's looking after all of our children, next door.
"You live next door to each other?" The interviewer asked as if she didn't already know for the benefit of the viewing audience.
"Yes, it's a nice street, and our friends live here." Jason waved a hand in the direction of Harry and Carlos.
"So how many children do you all have?"
Harry answered. "Between us, we have four. Two each, all under the age of five. And we've never worked so hard."
They all laughed.
"It seems incredible now that you were married to each other back in 2013 and continued as high-profile footballers, yet kept it a secret." The statement was addressed to Harry and Carlos, as Jason married Scott a few years later, toward the end of his career.
"We had little choice. It's not so long ago, but the world was very different back then." Harry was eager to tell his story. "In 2015, we were approached by a few people who knew about us to consider coming out publicly as part of a crowd of gay footballers. It was thought if we all came out together, the focus wouldn't be on any one or two people, and we'd be instantly accepted."
"What happened?"
"We thought about it. Society was tolerant, we had legal equality, and it seemed like a good idea. But throughout the following year, there were regular homophobic incidents that convinced us making a public statement at that time would have been bad for our lives or our careers."
"Was it the same for you, Jason?"
"Harry and Carlos were married, but very few people knew they were together. It was different for us. In 2015, Scott and I were a couple, and most men on the team knew about us. It just wasn't public information. We married in 2016."
"So the problem wasn't from your teammates?"
"No. Other players were fine. I don't know what it would have been like if we'd have been transferred to a different team or abroad. I think our main issue was with the fans. Again, not all of the fans, just an unpleasant but loud minority. No one else expects abuse from the public when they go to work, but footballers expect it."
"Was there an issue of wanting to keep your private lives private?"
Harry and Carlos looked at each other before Carlos answered the question.
"I was knocked out by Harry from the moment I met him. If there is such a thing as love at first sight, I was afflicted. I never wanted to keep things secret at all, and I would've gone public from the start. I felt so lucky that Harry would even consider dating me." Carlos squeezed Harry's hand, and the camera zoomed in on their entwined fingers.
The interviewer asked Harry, "I can't believe you didn't feel the same about Carlos."
"I didn't feel the same at all; opposites attract you know." He smiled. "I fell in love with him, but I didn't want anybody to know because I was scared, really scared. And I think a lot of people don't understand what it was like in football back then. I was scared of losing my job and being rejected by the guys in the locker room. I'm not sure that would have happened. But I'd been brought up to believe that being gay was wrong."
"Now, I know it wasn't true. Even then, most people supported equal marriage and equality and had gay and lesbian friends, but I focused in on the negative stuff. Like I had selective hearing and closed out the positive."
"I still can't imagine how difficult it was to hide your relationships."
"Introducing the person you love most as if they were just a friend is really not a nice feeling, and we've all been there." Jason waved his hand to indicate the three of them.
"It was very weird introducing Harry and having people assume he was a friend or a co-worker rather than my husband. I certainly didn't like it. Not that he was a co-worker for very long; we were only on the same team for a few months before he was transferred to my previous team in London. I think that made it a little easier. There's no way we could have worked together every day without people noticing."
"Actually, I came back to BSC on loan, and I think the players did suspect, but they never said anything," said Harry.
"How did you maintain the long-distance relationship?"
"It's not an impossible commute between the two cities, so we managed."
"I have to ask, when you were players you avoided interviews like this. What is the main reason that you're willing to do this interview now? Has something changed?"
Jason started. "I never wanted the media talking about my private life and my sex life. I thought it was nobody else's business. I was doing my job that I was good at, and that's where I thought the media focus should be."
"So what has changed?" the journalist prompted.
"If I can answer that. For me, I see this as a big opportunity to help others who may be in the closet or coming to terms with their sexuality or different from the mainstream in any way. I struggled to accept who I am, I prayed to God to change me, and over the course of a very short time in my life, I went from being unhappy and isolated to married to this fantastic man here." Harry looked proudly at Carlos.
"What about for you, Jason?"
"My issues were very different to Harry's. The change for me was that through the past eight years we have seen so many other sportsmen come out, from Olympians to rugby players and cricketers. All had received tremendous support within their sport and from fans, and had, for the most part, been treated with respect in the media. The world has changed, and I figure football must have changed too. Obviously, I'm older, married, I have children, and I'm no longer a professional footballer. All of those things make a difference."
"Carlos, did you want to say anything about why you wanted to do this interview?"
"People who don't know us may assume we're all the same, three gay footballers. But we had very different histories before we settled down with our partners. Unlike the other two, I'm bisexual. I didn't have to hide being gay because people knew my ex-girlfriends and just made assumptions based on what they knew about my past. Maybe that's why I never wanted to hide my relationship with Harry; it's not something I was used to doing. And I'm glad we don't have to do that anymore."
"Cut." Everyone froze momentarily and then looked towards the director.
"That was great. I just want to have a quick break, and then we'll re-film the opening to this piece and a conclusion." The director walked over to the interviewer to continue a more private conversation. What he had to say was still heard by all present. "I want the introduction to specifically mention the World Cup in Qatar this year is held in a country where homosexuality is a crime and gay Muslims like myself face the death penalty."
"Yes. I wondered about saying that at some point."
"It's important and get's attention. Put it first. Then we'll film the conclusion. You're winding up bringing the interview back to this point. Ask the guests about it because they along with many other football players and supporters are considered criminals in that country. These players are retired, but what would it be like for gay players who are out there about to play the biggest games of their career i
n that environment."
In the garden, they could hear the sound of the children playing next door. They were assured the microphones would not pick up and transmit that external noise. Nevertheless, it sounded like Scott and the children were having more fun than sitting stiffly smiling in front of a camera crew.
Thankfully interviews like this came along infrequently, but all three men recognized that as celebrities and role models, they were in a fortunate position to inform, influence and help others.
The end.
Author’s Afterword
In 2013 Robbie Rogers quit football and came out. He was playing in the division below the Premiership at the time. He subsequently returned to the US to play in MLS for LA Galaxy and has been a terrific advocate for LGBT people in sports.
Today, Robbie Rogers is still one of only two completely out, full-time, professional footballers in the entire world out of an estimated 500,000 men.
There has been an increasing number of top sportsmen coming out over the past decade. Almost all report positive and supportive experiences after coming out. My fictional characters in Britain would be very aware of these. In particular ex-Premiership player Thomas Hitzlsperger, who came out in 2014 after he had retired; a number of Rugby players, including two in 2015; and Tom Daley the British diver who came out in 2013.
Civil partnerships for same-sex couples have been around for sometime in the UK. Equal marriage became a reality in 2014, it was 2005 in Spain.
There have been many and various initiatives to stamp out homophobia in football and raise awareness both in the UK and internationally in recent years. Players and fans are reprimanded for homophobic language, for example. Whether things have changed for players remains to be seen. In his book, Coming Out to Play, Robbie Rogers describes an environment that sounds ignorant and intimidating for a closeted gay man playing in the higher tiers of football in Europe in 2012.
Without doubt, the majority of the British public accept and welcome LGBT equality. We have LGBT friends and family members. In some macho male-dominated sports an archaic culture of homophobia may persist.
In October 2015 there was an announcement that at least two footballers who play in the Premiership will go public. This is where the story ends for Home Goal.
In real life, the story continues. Sportsmen derive a substantial part of their income from advertising. Nike, Adidas, and others have either cut sponsorship of celebrities who make homophobic comments or committed to continue funding of celebrities who come out. In deciding whether to go public LGBT sportspeople must consider the potential impact on their careers and future income, whether from funding or from appearances as a popular sporting figure.
Continued fighting against homophobia in sport is important. That is not just my opinion. In spring 2016 the British government announced an enquiry into this issue. They are investigating homophobia in football and its impact on players among other things.
If we think about how things have changed for LGBT sports people over the past decade, the future decade should bring in great change for the better. And I hope that change will spread internationally as today approximately half of the world’s population live in countries where it is illegal to be lesbian or gay. In those same countries, football is very popular. Football can boast the largest international viewing audiences for major events. Far greater than the American Super Bowl, for example.
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Warrior
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Rescued from Paradise
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Raven
Lenus
H J Perry lives by the English seaside, but she is slowly accepting having words translated into American for an international audience.
She also writes as Helen Jayne and as Helen J Perry.
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