I hold his wrist and slow down so the rest of my family gets out of ear-shot. “No, I mean, are we going back to Brooklyn or are we staying here?”
Dad looks up into the canopy of trees above our heads. The sky is brilliant blue today and the air is clear. “It’s nice here, isn’t it?”
I nod, but a heaviness comes over me.
“What do you want to do?” Dad asks me.
I shrug, reluctant to tell him my true feelings, so I ask a question instead. “What’s Mom want to do?”
Dad is quiet for a moment. “Mom feels torn. She’s needed in both places, and no matter what she does, it leaves someone vulnerable.”
“Not if we all stay together,” I say. “In Alverland.”
“Is that what you want?”
I remember what Fawna said to me about being honest when someone asks my opinion. “You really want to know?”
Dad nods.
I take a big breath. “I love it here.” I motion to the snow-covered pines, the hawks circling overhead, the squirrel tracks across the ground. “And I hate to see my family threatened.” I think back to Clay holding Persimmon prisoner in the tree. “But,” I say and cross my arms, “I’m selfish enough to want to go back to Brooklyn for myself and for Briar, because we both love it there, too.”
“I don’t know that that’s so selfish,” Dad says.
“Not everyone feels that way.”
“Yes, but . . .” Dad sighs, sending out a plume of white air. “I don’t know that we have a choice anymore.”
I look up at him, bewildered.
“Someone has to keep an eye on those dark elves running loose around New York,” Dad says.
“I think they have bigger plans than we know,” I tell him.
“You’re probably right.”
“But if they come back to Willow’s . . . ?”
Dad lays a hand on my shoulder. “Your sister can take care of herself, and she’s got Fawna and all the other first-firsts to help, too.”
“Does that mean we’re going back to Brooklyn?”
He nods. “For now I think we will.”
Even though I’m happy, I can’t quite smile and feel relieved yet. “What about Briar?”
Dad shakes his head. “I don’t know,” he admits. “Flora is very upset.”
I stamp my foot into the snow. “It wasn’t Briar’s fault any more than it was my fault, though.”
“No one thinks it was.”
“Then why can’t she come back with us?”
Dad sighs. He loops his arm through mine as we walk down the path. “Briar is a youngest-youngest, so her mother worries that she’s more susceptible than you because of her birth order.”
“Susceptible to what?” I try to work it all out as we move through the woods, which suddenly seem bigger and more mysterious to me than they ever have.
“To trouble,” Dad says. “I don’t know why, but youngest-youngests tend toward darkness. You see how Dawn is, and her mother, Hyacinth. It runs in the blood.”
“But that’s not fair,” I say. “Briar’s a good person.”
He nods. “We all know that, but we have to do our best to keep her that way. And even you can see that she takes more risks and makes poorer choices than you do sometimes.”
I can’t argue that one, but still the thought of going back to Brooklyn without Fawna and Briar is too much. “She has to come back with us.”
“We have to leave that up to Aunt Flora and Uncle River.” Dad hugs me to his side. “But I’ll do my best to convince them.”
chapter 25
I HAVE MORE butterflies in my stomach than I’ve ever had. Well, maybe not as many as when I was battling Clay and Dawn in the forest, or when I was waiting for Aunt Flora and Uncle River to decide if Briar could come back to Brooklyn, but other than that, I’m pretty well freaked out.
“What are you going to wear?” I turn to Briar, who studies our shared closet as we get ready for Chelsea’s New Year’s Eve party.
“I don’t know.” She scoots hangers over the bar. “I’m thinking about skinny jeans, yellow Uniqlo sweater, and boots. What about you?”
“Can’t decide.” I flop back on the bed and close my eyes. “Isn’t it funny to be back in the erdler world worrying about what we’re going to wear?”
“I really thought they weren’t going to let me come back,” Briar says for the six hundredth time since we got to Brooklyn last night. It took a lot of convincing, but Flora and River finally agreed that Briar could return on the condition that she never cast another spell on an erdler and that she has to go back to Alverland for Willow’s wedding and for the whole summer.
“Maybe I should wear my orange T-shirt with the manga girl,” she says. “Kenji likes that.”
“What if they don’t want to see us?” I ask, sitting up now.
“I keep having the same thought. What if we walk in and they’re like, ‘Ho-hum who are you?’”
“At least Bella won’t be there tonight.”
“You sure about that?” She holds up a short skirt and the manga top in front of her body, studying herself in the mirror.
“Are you joking? Chelsea and Bella hate each other.”
Briar shakes her head. “That never stops erdlers from pretending to be friends.”
“True,” I say. “It’s not like dark elves and light elves, is it? Erdlers can be both good and bad, sometimes at the same time.”
“You don’t think elves are that way?” She shoves the skirt back into the closet and takes out a pair of black cords instead.
“Just seems more cut and dried with us. You’re either dark or you’re light. Good or bad.”
Briar shakes her head and puts the pants and shirt back in the closet. She flops down on the bed beside me. “I’m not so sure about that anymore.”
I turn over and prop myself up on my elbow so we’re face-to-face. “You’re a good person, Briar.” I reach out and squeeze her shoulder. “Doesn’t matter if you’re a youngest-youngest or a first-first or a middle like me.”
“But what if it does matter?” she asks, biting her lower lip. “What if that’s the reason I do things like let Clay and Dawn cast a spell on me?”
“You had no control over that. You had no way of knowing what they were up to.”
“But you knew right away that something was wrong with them.”
I’m quiet because it’s true, but then I say, “They would’ve found a way in, Briar. Whether it was through you or not.”
“I just made it easy.”
I hug her. “I love you for who you are.”
“Thanks.” She pulls away. “I hope Kenji does, too.”
I draw in a deep breath. “There’s only one way to find out.” I hoist myself off the bed. “And we’d better get ourselves together. We have to meet Ari and Mercedes in twenty minutes.”
At nine-thirty sharp, Ari and Mercedes are waiting for us on the train platform so we can ride the subway together to Carroll Gardens, where Chelsea lives.
“So?” I ask as soon as the doors close and we pile into seats. “How was it? How was the performance?”
“Oh honey,” Mercedes says, slapping my leg. “You don’t even want to know.”
“I’m dying to know,” I tell her. “Who played my part?
“Nobody,” she says with her eyes wide.
“Padgie didn’t recast it?” I ask.
“Padgie,” Ari says, “has taken a mental hiatus.”
Briar and I both blink at him.
Mercedes cracks up. She looks great with her curls pulled back in a loose ponytail and a new Brooklyn Industries coat she got for Christmas. “After you guys left and Timber and Kenji took their ill-advised road trip, Padgie lost his cotton-picking mind. The man just wandered around the stage, pulling at his hair, muttering like he was Lady Macbeth”
She does a perfect Mr. Padgett impersonation, muttering, “How could they do this to me?” which makes us all snicker.
“Never m
ind that the fool had never finished writing the dang musical,” Ari adds.
“By the time Timber came to his senses and got back to Brooklyn, Padgie was long gone,” Mercedes says.
“Where’d he go?” Briar asks.
“La-la land,” Ari says.
“The cuckoo nest,” Mercedes adds.
“Huh?” Briar and I both say.
“The man just checked out,” Mercedes says. “He was like an empty house. Ain’t nobody home.”
“Now he’s on an extended personal hiatus,” Ari tells us. “In Aruba.”
“And the performance?” I ask.
Mercy shakes her head. “Never happened.”
I reach out for her arm. “Oh Mercy, I’m so sorry.”
“I know, right?” she says, shaking her head. “I finally get a decent part and the director flies the coop. But . . .” She smiles big. “I did get cast in that mayo commercial!”
“I’m so happy for you!” I hug her tight.
“But you know what the best part was?” Ari asks.
We all look at him. “Bella got doubly screwed. Mr. Padgett canceled the show, and that weird Clay dude who was her manager split. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so pissed.”
“You were right about Clay and Dawn,” Mercedes tells me. “They were creepy.”
“Creepier than you can even imagine,” I say, and Briar nods.
“They’re long gone now,” Ari says.
I wish Ari was right. I wish that dark elves were just the bogeymen lurking around the edges of my dreams like I thought when I was a kid. But it’s not a joke anymore. The dark elves are real, and Willow still has what they want. They may be gone, but they’ll be back. I can only hope that next time we’ll be ready for them.
“And Timber?” I ask, refraining from adding a hundred more questions like, oh I don’t know, Is he still my boyfriend, or will the fact that I’m an elf and he’s a werewolf put a damper on the whole thing?
Ari shakes his head. “You haven’t talked to him?”
“Not lately,” I say.
“And why aren’t you guys going to the party with those guys?” Mercedes asks us.
Thinking quick, Briar says, “We want to surprise them.”
“Nice,” Ari says. “I wish somebody would surprise me once in a while.”
The train slides into the Carroll Gardens station. I slip my arm into Ari’s. “Somebody will someday,” I tell him as we head up the steps.
The streets are packed when we emerge from the station. “Feel good to be back to civilization?” Mercedes asks.
“I’m sorry,” Ari says, pulling out his CrackBerry and sending a text that we’re on our way. “Alverland sounds nice and all, but aren’t you guys bored out of your gourds after twenty-four hours there?”
“It’s not as boring as you might think,” I say, then Briar and I look at each other and try not to laugh.
“Kenji and Timber said that little town Ironweed was beat,” Ari says.
“What are you even talking about?” Mercedes asks Ari. “This place was dead while they were gone. The club was shut down, Kenji and Timber were off acting like nut jobs driving around the U.P. of Michigan looking for these two, the performance was canceled, and we just sat around watching Dexter from Netflix for two weeks. I’d rather have been in the woods with you.”
“Maybe next time,” I say, knowing full well that will never happen.
Ari points down a street. “There it is,” he says. We see Levi and Nora walking up the stoop to a lovely old brownstone covered in twinkling Christmas lights.
“Cool,” Merci says, speeding up the sidewalk. “I hope this is fun.”
Mercedes and Ari immediately head for the kitchen when we get in the door.
“I hope they have shrimp,” Mercedes says. “I love me some shrimp.”
“Come on, hungry hippo,” Ari says, following her. “Let’s get you some food before you die of malnourishment.”
Instead of going with Ari and Mercy, Briar and I wander around looking for Kenji and Timber, but we can’t find them.
“Maybe they’re not coming,” Briar says as we go back into the empty foyer and drop down on the bottom step of the staircase.
“We could ask Chelsea,” I offer.
“I haven’t seen her either,” Briar says.
We hear voices behind us on the stairs and both turn around at the same time. My heart climbs into my throat when I see Timber walking down behind Chelsea, who laughs over her shoulder. Briar grabs my hand. I stand up quickly and pull her around the corner.
“I can’t believe it,” I whisper while I peek by the door frame. “Has he been up there with her the whole time?”
Briar squeezes my hand and tugs. “Come on.”
I hold back, fearing what happened while I was gone. “No, I can’t.”
“Yes, you can,” she insists, and tugs harder.
We pop around the corner just as Timber and Chelsea get to the bottom landing of the steps where we’d been sitting.
I wish I had a replay of Timber’s face so I could decipher every emotion that registers when he sees me. Surprise. Bewilderment. Frustration. Is he still in love with me or is he mad at me, or does he even remember that he was? Then his face settles—eyes bright, mouth swinging upward in seeming delight, his hands reaching toward me.
“You’re here,” he says.
“And you’re there.” I point to Chelsea, who leans against the banister with what I could swear is a smirk on her face.
Briar lets go of my hand and gives me a little shove. I trip forward into Timber’s open arms. “Oops!” I say, and begin to step back, but he pulls me close. “I didn’t know when you were coming back tonight.”
When I feel his arms around me, I want to let go of all my doubts about his feelings for me, but not yet. Timber would hug a cactus, so this might only be a friendly hello. I should let go, step back, gauge the situation, but I can’t let go quite yet. I hang on, drinking in his fresh piney smell, remembering how elated I was when I found him at the bait shop in Ironweed and my surprise when he leaped out of the woods to tackle Clay, and how my family welcomed him to Alverland, but he doesn’t share any of those memories. Then I notice that he hasn’t let go of me yet either, so I stay in his arms for another second, tightening my grip against his back.
I catch sight of Chelsea, rolling her eyes from the landing. She plods down the rest of the steps and slinks by. Then Timber lets go of me. “Why didn’t you e-mail me or call me to let me know you were home?” he asks, searching my face.
“We just got back last night,” I say, but I can’t admit that I was too afraid to call him. I don’t know which is harder, battling dark elves or explaining myself to an erdler who can’t really know the truth about me. “We wanted to surprise you and Kenji,” I say, pointing to Briar.
“Well, I’m surprised,” he says, but I can’t tell if he means in a good way or bad.
“Did Kenji leave?” Briar asks.
“He wouldn’t have if he knew you were coming,” Timber tells her.
“But I couldn’t find him,” she says.
“I’ll text him.” Timber pulls out his iPhone and zips off a text. It buzzes within a few seconds. “Basement,” Timber says. “You should go find him.”
Briar looks at me. “Should I?”
“Duh,” I say. “Yes.” But she still hesitates. “You want me to come with you?”
Briar looks from me to Timber and back to me. I know she’s as afraid as I was. But then she straightens up and stands tall. “I can handle it.”
She goes, leaving Timber and me alone for the first time in what seems like eons.
“I missed you,” he says.
“You did?” I can’t hide my surprise. Was the affection he had for me before I left purely from the elf circle spell I cast or was some of it real?
“Didn’t you miss me?” he asks.
“I thought about you so much, sometimes it felt like you were right there with m
e.”
A grin spreads over his face until his teeth show beneath his lips. My secret wolf boy. My protector. “Really?”
“Yes, really,” I tell him.
“That’s funny,” he says, and takes a step closer to me. “Because I tried to find you.”
“I got your e-mails.”
He looks at his shoes and blushes. “Yeah, that was pretty messed up what Kenji and I did.”
“Did you get in trouble?”
Timber shakes his head and smiles. “Not too bad. My mom loves you. She understood.” Then he grabs my hand. “You want to get out of here? Go somewhere to talk?”
My heart pounds. “The last time I left without Briar, all hell broke loose.”
“She’s with friends,” he says, and tugs on my arm. I know that he’s right, that I can’t worry about her all the time and that I have to trust her to make good decisions. “All right,” I say slowly. “But can we go to my house? I have a present for you.”
“I have one for you, too!” he tells me.
He talks nonstop on the train ride back to my house. He tells me all about the road trip, how the performance was canceled, and how he was grounded and not allowed to go skiing with his dad for Christmas, then he stops and looks out the train window. We’re aboveground now, looking into the harbor where the lights on the bridges, boats, and the Statue of Liberty twinkle like urban stars. “I know I pissed off a lot of people by taking off, but I think driving up to Michigan was good for me.” He continues staring out the window. “Something changed in me while I was gone.”
I catch my breath and hold it, half afraid of what he might say, but then he shakes his head. “I don’t how to describe it, but I sort of feel older in a way. Smarter. Like I understand myself better.” Then he shrugs and smiles at me. “Maybe it was just doing something on my own. Getting out of the groove and away from my normal thing.”
“I know what you mean,” I say. “Sometimes changing up your life can make everything seem fresh again.”
“That’s exactly it,” he says. “No wonder I missed you. You understand me in a way nobody else does.” He studies me for a moment, and I feel like a tree unfurling new leaves in the spring under the warmth of his gray-blue eyes. “I swear, sometimes it’s like you know me better than I do.”
Selfish Elf Wish Page 26