by Becky Flade
“Maggie, are you okay?” he asked. Guilt swept through him, replacing the panic, as he took in her tear- ravaged face. “Oh, baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
Aidan pulled her out of the truck and into his arms. He rubbed her back until the sobs subsided to sniffles. Maggie pulled back and asked, “Why did you come after me?”
“Honestly, Sly gave me a good proverbial kick in the ass. He looked like he was ready to give me an actual kick in the ass, to tell the truth. Maggie, you must realize why I’m hesitant.” She simply stared at him, forcing him to explain. “I’m a werewolf. What if this child isn’t . . . .natural.”
“What do you think I have inside me, Aidan? A monster?”
His silence was answer enough.
“Aidan, this baby is ours. We made him together as a man and a woman. Two people who . . . care for each other. Gealach did not father this child. You did. What happens to you every night is the product of a curse; it is magic. It is not a birth defect, a genetic abnormality, a disease, or an infection. That’s how flaws are passed down from father to child, through DNA. Not through magic. Do you honestly believe it is more likely than not that you will pass on this curse to your offspring?”
“I don’t know, Maggie. I can’t know. And neither can you. Not until it’s too late. It could hurt you, or worse. And that’s not a risk I’m willing to take.” He explained.
“What would you have me do, Aidan? Are you going to stand here and tell me to abort our child?”
“Yes.” He watched as she absorbed his answer and as the pain he’d caused contorted her features. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath; Aidan heard it waver and catch. When she opened her eyes again, her expression was shuttered but he could still see the raw hurt in her eyes, along with the anger. When she spoke, she did not waver.
“I love you with every beat of my heart. But I will give you up before I give up this child. Understand?” She left him standing there in the dirt streaked snow on the side of the road. And for the second time that day he stood watching as she drove out of sight; this time he didn’t follow. Aidan felt sick in his stomach. She had looked at him as though he’d physically struck her. Self-hatred consumed him.
Aidan got back in Sly’s truck and slowly turned toward home. He’d known she was going to want to keep the baby. But he thought that maybe she hadn’t considered all the possibilities. He should’ve known better; he knew her better than that. She said the child was conceived by them as man and woman that cared about each other. She loved me with every beat of her heart. That’s what she’d said. Maggie hadn’t said she loved him since the night she was attacked by those bastards that would’ve raped her. And even then she’d confided in Gealach, not him. Thinking of those men and that night brought his mother to mind.
He thought of his mom as the miles passed in a blur. She had given up everything to raise him by herself. Sacrificed her youth; a fortune that was rightfully hers, just to be his mother. He never heard her complain. She had made his childhood one of laughter and light. He never knew he was a product of violence. Aidan could only begin to imagine how terrified she must have been: nearly a child herself, pregnant, poor for the first time in her life, abandoned by her family.
An image of Tala flashed through his mind’s eye. He had thought of her over the years, how could he not when he turned into a wolf each night courtesy of her mother’s wrath, but he hadn’t actually pictured Tala in more years than he cared to count. He couldn’t be sure if the picture he formed was true to her or not, it had been so long. But all he felt was sadness for the life she lost and responsibility for his part in it. They’d been barely out of childhood themselves; and each had paid for their foolishness with their future. But Tala had been the one pregnant, scared and alone facing a man she’d thought a friend as he came at her with violent, deadly rage.
After leaving Sly’s truck outside the stable, Aidan let himself into the house Maggie had been slowly turning into a home and went straight to his bedroom closet where he retrieved a small metal lockbox from the top shelf. Setting it on the bed, he opened it slowly and delicately removed the few items stored on top: his birth certificate, his mother’s death certificate, the news clipping from Tala’s death, the deed to the Cherry Farm, and his will leaving his entire estate—sans Cherry Farm and its stables; those he left to Sly—to various wildlife and forest conservation groups. He made a mental note to call his attorney and change his will so that Maggie would become the beneficiary of his estate. Finally, he came to what he’d been looking for, the small velvet pouch holding his mother’s meager supply of good jewelry. He’d given away the costume pieces to her closest friends.
Opening the bag, he pulled out the necklace he’d given her with the money he’d saved from his first job, a single strand of pearls with matching earrings she’d saved for special occasions, and the single diamond filigree ring she’d never been without. He’d wanted to bury her with it, but she’d called it a sweet, useless gesture. The ring wouldn’t do her any good in the ground. His grandmother later told him that it was the only thing she took with her when she’d left home. It had been handed down to her from her father, who’d been given it by his grandmother. She’d never hocked it, and he was sure there were times during his childhood when the extra cash it would’ve fetched was desperately needed. But it had been special to her, and therefore was special to him.
Aidan stared at the pretty antique ring and heard Sly’s words from earlier in the day echo through his subconscious. He knew what he had to do. When he returned the lockbox to its hiding spot in the closet, the ring was in his pocket.
• • •
Maggie didn’t allow herself to feel. She hid her broken heart under a polite facade, the way her mother had taught her. She made it through the drive into Brandwyne and her appointment with the obstetrician with a cold, hard knot of pain lodged in her chest. The rest of her was numb. She wouldn’t even allow herself to think about it; she feared she’d crack if she did. It wasn’t until she was nearly home that her walls began to crumble.
She had known Aidan wouldn’t be happy; the expression of horrified disgust that had twisted his face the day she told him she thought she might be pregnant had been haunting her. But she hadn’t considered that he’d want her to have an abortion. The very idea of it made her shake in revulsion. She wondered if he could ever love their child, wondered bleakly how long before this wedge between them would drive them apart. Would he look at her in a few more weeks when she began to show and see a monster? A sob hovered, tears hammered against that knot of crushing pain. She tried to cling to anger in an attempt to stave off the flood of grief that threatened.
When she had seen him pull up behind her in Sly’s truck, hope had swelled with a desperate edge. Remembering how happy she’d been to see him Maggie swore, at herself and at Aidan. She’d be damned if she would allow herself to become “that” woman. She swallowed the tears, the pain and the anger, and snapped the radio on, drowning herself in Slash’s maniacal chords for the last few miles.
She parked and looked at the house. It wouldn’t be dark for several hours yet and she couldn’t tell from the outside if Aidan was home. A part of her wanted to run away, instead Maggie cut the engine, pulled her hat low over her ears, stepped out into the cold and hurried to the door. As soon as she stepped over the threshold she knew she was alone in the house and Maggie released the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding.
Thankful for the reprieve, she decided to take a shower. As she stood under the beating spray of hot water she felt the tension wash away. Maggie’s hand settled over the flat curve of her belly and she finally allowed herself to enjoy the wonder of having heard her baby’s heartbeat for the first time. It was strong and fast. It was perfect. “Hey there, Mowgli,” she crooned.
Maggie already felt a connection to the new life growing inside her. She already had the inbred need to protect and nurture him. And as she stood there she experienc
ed a sense of purpose like none she’d ever known. She silently vowed her child would never need to look elsewhere for the love he deserved.
When she stepped from the bathroom, she found their bedroom crowded with lit candles. The heavy drapes had been pulled to keep the sun from the room, giving the appearance of evening in a house that was designed to let in as much of the day as possible. Aidan stood at the foot of the bed, his expression unreadable, and held out a hand to her. Maggie crossed to him, touched by the unexpected romance but confused by the timing. He took her hand in his and knelt. It felt to Maggie like all the air had been sucked from the room. He couldn’t possibly be doing this now.
“Maggie O’Connell, will you marry me?”
“Aidan, what . . . ” Maggie’s confusion grew.
“You’re not going to have to go through this alone. We’ll do it together, right or wrong.”
Understanding dawned on her. He was a good man and he wanted to do the right thing. But not out of love. Maggie didn’t know how much more sadness her heart could hold. “Thank you, Aidan. But I’m saying no.” She knelt and took his hands in hers. “We both know how you feel about this pregnancy. And we both know that I gave you an ultimatum today. I’m forcing you to be a father to a child you don’t want. If I told you tomorrow I’d changed my mind and agreed to have an abortion, you’d be relieved. How can we start a life together when I’m forcing you to do something you are vehemently against? We can’t.”
He took her face in his hands, and kissed her gently. “Okay, I understand. I want you to keep the ring.” Maggie shook her head no but he pressed it into her palm. “My mother would have wanted you to have it.”
The ring was beautiful and she knew how much it meant to him, having been his mother’s. She preferred this over anything that could have been bought in a store. This had meaning. It would be passed down to their child and their grandchildren, she’d see to it regardless of what happened between her and Aidan. Maggie wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight. “It would be a real shame to waste all this pretty candlelight.”
“Hmmm, yes it would.” Aidan’s mouth had already started a gentle pursuit of her neck, leaving tingles along the line of her jaw and under her ear. I need more than he’s capable of giving, but this can be enough for now. They stood slowly together, the towel Maggie had been wrapped in falling to the floor.
Chapter Eighteen
Maggie and Aidan were working in companionable silence when Maggie’s cell phone rang shrilly. He could tell she was irritated by the interruption, but a quick glance at the caller id had her smiling and swiveling her chair around. Aidan tried not to stare at her engorged stomach as she stretched her legs. She was more than eight months along, and though she said her doctor reported both she and the child were healthy, he couldn’t contain his growing anxiety. Aidan noted the mood shift, the cheery hello, and reasoned it was Jenna on the other end.
“Excuse me? Where are you?” Maggie sat up quickly in her chair. “Seriously? Oh my God, why didn’t you get one with GPS? You’re on the right road, just keep on going the way you are. Did you pass the big, blue farmhouse yet? Okay, then it’s just a couple miles. See you in a few minutes. Love you, too.” She closed her phone and threw it to the desktop before turning to Aidan. “Jenna’s here, or at least she will be in the next few minutes.”
“You’re happy?” Aidan wasn’t sure what he heard in her voice.
“Of course I’m happy, she’s more of a sister than friend and I haven’t seen her in months. I’m just worrying over how we handle the Gealach situation.”
“You haven’t told her?”
“I wouldn’t betray your trust that way, Aidan. On the bright side, there is no spare bedroom in this house so she’ll have to stay at the inn in town. We’ll just have to come up with excuses as to where you disappear to each evening.” Maggie’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound of tires on shell. Her face broke into a wide smile. “That’s her!”
Aidan followed Maggie, his pace much slower than hers despite her size, and watched as she threw herself in the arms of a tall, beautiful blond as soon as the woman stepped from the vehicle. They were both talking over the other. Honestly, Aidan thought, I wonder how they can even understand what the other is saying. He stepped down on the drive and Maggie led Jenna over.
“Aidan, I’d like you to meet Jenna Gavin, my oldest and best friend. Jenna, this is my Aidan.” While Maggie beamed, Aidan and Jenna sized each other up, both wary and more than a little suspicious. “Come on, come on, let’s go in. Work is definitely done for today. Who wants a drink?”
Soon the three were sitting around the kitchen table, Aidan and Jenna each enjoying a cold beer, while Maggie sipped on orange juice. He listened and watched as the women laughed and talked. Seeing the easy, casual bond between them, he realized for the first time how difficult it must be for Maggie to keep such a big secret from Jenna and how much she was willing to sacrifice to be with him. He noticed before long that Jenna called Maggie Sweetie more often than not and used a rare lull in the conversation to ask why.
Jenna looked at him as though she’d forgotten he was there, but he was sure she hadn’t, that it was an intentional gesture meant to put him in his place. “The whole family calls her Sweetie. Always have.”
“Mother got the job at the country club about two weeks or so after we moved in next door to Jenna and her family. There was this huge tree, just right for climbing on the McAllister’s side of the shared yard. Mother hadn’t found a sitter for me yet and left me to my own devices her first day on the job, so I decided to climb the monster. I fell and broke my arm.”
Jenna picked up the thread. “Daddy saw her fall out of the corner of his eye and came running. He got there just a smidge too late to catch her but just in time to hear the bone in her arm snap. Daddy scooped her up to take her home but Mags told him her mother was at work so he brought her into our kitchen, calling for my mom. There Maggie sits in our cluttered kitchen dressed in a fluffy, pink and white princess dress, not crying, very politely saying ‘yes ma’am’ and ‘no sir.’ Daddy tells Mom he heard the bone break and Mom just pulls Maggie into her arms and says, ‘It’s okay Sweetie, I got ya.’ And Maggie burst into tears.”
Aidan looked to where Maggie stood and she shrugged, as if to say it was an old story and an even older hurt. “A couple of days later Jenna’s mom offered to babysit me. Best thing my mother ever could have done for me was say yes.” Maggie smiled brightly. “I found out years later, that every penny Jen’s mom received went to buying me play clothes and my own toys. But the whole family has been calling me Sweetie since I fell out of that tree.”
“How long before you climbed it again?” He asked. Maggie’s smile brightened. Jenna looked at Aidan speculatively. Maggie excused herself to go to the bathroom and he was left alone with her friend. The silence quickly became uncomfortable. Without Maggie in the room the atmosphere was chilly and, Aidan thought, a little hostile. He wasn’t sure exactly what this woman knew about his relationship with Maggie but Aidan had the distinct impression that Jenna Gavin did not approve.
“It was a pleasure to finally meet you, Jenna.” Aidan stood. Jenna looked him squarely in the eye and inclined her head slightly in acknowledgment of the courtesy but she didn’t return it. “I’ll go see if Sly needs a hand in the stables; let you and Maggie catch up. I’m sure you have a lot to talk about.”
He had the door open before Jenna spoke, “She deserves better.”
“I know.” Aidan shut the door and repeated to himself, “I know.”
• • •
Maggie returned from the bathroom to find Jenna alone in the kitchen. “Where’s Aidan?”
“He went to play with his horses and give us some privacy.” Jenna smiled. “Just look at you? You’re beautiful, Sweetie.”
“I’m huge.” Maggie countered and then laughed as she lowered herself into a chair. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled to see you, but why are you here
, Jen? I know you didn’t come all this way to tell my fat ass that pregnancy becomes me. What’s up?”
“Nothing’s up. I came for several reasons, not the least of which is to throw you a fan-fucking-tastic baby shower like any decent best friend and God-mommy.” Jenna helped herself to another beer. “I miss you, Mags. And I wanted to see how you’re doing for myself. The last few times I talked to you, you sounded down. How are things between you and Aidan? Any better? Worse?”
“It’s . . . complicated.” Maggie shrugged one shoulder in an empty attempt to convey less than she felt.
“Then explain.” Jenna took another sip of her beer. “I must admit, I was impressed that he knows you well enough to figure out you got back up in that tree first chance you had.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Yeah,” Jenna replied, sarcasm dripping from each word, “that’s what complicated means.”
“We want different things.”
“He did ask you to marry him.” Jenna pointedly reminded her.
Maggie pushed herself from the chair abruptly causing it to tip over and began to pace. She needed to move. “That wasn’t a proposal that was a solider falling on his sword!” Maggie jerked her arms toward the sky. “He was trying to do what was right, out of some old fashioned sense of duty or honor, or some shit like that. Sure he went to the trouble of getting down on one knee, but seriously he looked like he was facing a firing squad, Jen. Can you imagine, in this day and age, making an archaic gesture like that? And thinking I’d say yes? He didn’t even hide his relief when I turned him down! I am not my mother. I will not enter into a loveless marriage because it is socially, morally or financially advantageous. Screw that.” She caught the hint of a smirk on Jenna’s lips. “You did that on purpose.” Maggie accused.