Can't Let Go

  I bolt up, the sheet falling to my waist, and Dex shakes his head, smiling ear to ear. “What?” I ask, grabbing the edge of the sheet to cover myself.

  Dex’s hand touches mine, nudging the sheet back down and then his body rests on top of mine as he seductively kisses my collarbone. “We have about five minutes before one of those girls barges in.” I’m relieved that he’s okay with everyone knowing about us, it shows how much he really does love me.

  I giggle and rub my hands up and down his back. “How’d he know it was me?”

  Dex doesn’t get up but continues his exploration of my body. “I’m not sure, but I’m thankful he didn’t see any inch of you. Sorry for the ninja move.” I feel his lips turn up as they move on my skin.

  Playfully, I smack his shoulder to move forward and scoot out from under his large body. “Shower time. Obviously, our day of exploration is over,” I toss over my shoulder.

  He sits up so his back rests along the headboard, his bare chest covered in tattoos I traced with my fingers last night. Him explaining the times he had them done and the deep meaning behind each one, some easier than others to figure out.

  “What are you doing?” I ask him, shaking my head at his sly smile.

  “Watching you,” he says, shifting his feet. “I may need to have a half time show. I’m not sure I can go the whole day without being inside of you.” His eyes burn, gazing at my skin as they follow me around the room, capturing the butterflies that swarm in my stomach with anticipation of more than his eyes on me.

  Seductively crawling up the bed, I give him a quick kiss on his lips. “Just give me a signal, and I’ll be up here waiting,” I say and then slide off his body.

  “Tease,” he jokes, and I wave my hand at him while walking into the bathroom, reveling in the heat of his eyes on me.

  FINALLY, I MAKE it downstairs, but the game is already in the first quarter. Dex, Brady, and Rob sit on the couch, and Trey bounces Drew on his lap in the chair. Eyeing him from the hallway, Dex’s vision is already focused my way. The thought that maybe he’s been waiting for me brings a tingling sensation streaming through my veins.

  Entering the kitchen, I dread the twenty questions that are about to come my way from Sadie or Kailey. I release the built up anxiety at seeing Chloe and Tara coloring at the table. Kailey sits on the counter and Sadie flits around the kitchen, putting a few snacks together for the guys. Noticing the pans from breakfast in the sink, I’m bummed I missed Brady’s cooking, but then flashes of Dex’s arms wrapped around me tight this morning flicker to life and the sadness vanishes as fast as it appeared.

  “What’s the cheesy grin about?” Kailey raises her eyebrows in a knowing sign. My eyes dart to the girls and then back to her. “Hi, girls.” I wave.

  Both turning their attention to me, they wave back. “Hi, Chrissy.”

  “Give it up. I doubt Trey kept the secret,” I say softly when I approach her and Sadie a safe distance from Chloe and Tara.

  They both laugh. “It’s about time anyway.” Sadie turns her attention to me and wraps her arms around my shoulders. “I’m so happy for you.” A warmth spreads through my blood, because I not only have Dex, but the friendships of amazing girls as well.

  “What a waste of Ryland Davis, though.” I push Kailey lightly, and she falls into the cabinets a little and then steadies herself. “Just kidding.” She hops down and hugs me as well.

  “How did Trey even know it was me?” I ask her, pouring chips into a bowl.

  “We got our pedicures together last week, and then he came to pick me up, remember? We showed him our toes with that flowery nail art. The guy has the memory of an elephant.” She humorously shakes her head and then takes a seat at the table with the girls, pulling out a crayon and helping Tara.

  “I’d say. What kind of a guy pays attention to that much detail?” I ask.

  “My guy does.” Her smile shining, purely elated that Trey is hers.

  “I’ll be right back,” I tell them and venture into the living room. Unsure of how this whole thing with Dex and I will be received, I go the long way. Down the hallway by the front door and then behind the couch. Leaning over, I hand the bowl of chips to Dex, and he pulls my arm down so my face is right by his. “You’re beautiful,” he whispers in my ear and kisses the corner of my lips. To think not even twenty-four hours ago I was desperate to hear those words leave his mouth. Hearing them now brings a smile to my face that I’m certain no one could shatter.

  I’m surprised the guys remain silent, as though they missed the whole kiss and closeness of Dex and me. Feeling more at ease with the situation, I confidently strut across the room, back to the confines of the kitchen to hang out with the girls. “So you nailed her, right?” Rob asks Dex, and I’m about to turn around until, “OUCH! Hey, I deserve some fucking credit,” he adds and a smile turns up my lips as I disappear through the doorway.

  “Girls, why don’t you go show the boys your drawings,” Kailey suggests. Chloe and Tara jump out of their chairs and rush into the room, right as the boys roar to life. “You,” she points to me, “sit and talk,” she demands, and Sadie smirks up at me while cutting a brick of cheese.

  “Does Brady have a reprieve today?” I tease.

  “When the Browns play, he does nothing but sit on that couch the entire game. I made breakfast this morning.”

  “So, I made the right decision in staying in bed?” I joke, and she throws a piece of cheese at me.

  Then her shoulders shrug. “Probably though. Even Rob passed,” she comments and begins positioning it all on the tray. “Stop avoiding the conversation. Let’s hear it.” She leans back in her chair, giving me all of her attention.

  “The big man finally came around to his senses, huh?” Kailey adds, mimicking Sadie’s position in the chair. I bite my lip, not wanting to give every moment of my alone time with Dex, but excitement to share my happiness boils inside of me at the same time.

  “I guess so. I’m pretty sure I have Ryland Davis to thank.” My stomach clinches, thinking how I have to tell him that our date for Saturday night is off.

  “Whatever worked, hallelujah! That boy couldn’t figure out which way was up lately. He came over to the house every day last week. He and Trey would talk for a bit, nothing important. He’d spin the girls around and then leave.”

  “Huh?” I question. “I wonder why?”

  She shrugs. “I have no idea. Trey said he didn’t bring anything up. Just asked Trey how life was for us.”

  “I think Dex has a hard time with fully committing,” Sadie adds, and Kailey tosses a chip at her. “I mean before. Like he had a hard time figuring out how to accept his feelings—”

  “Stop, Sadie. I understand what you’re saying.” Truth is, I do. It’s hard to accept the turnaround Dex has done in such a small amount of time. But, I’ve always trusted Dex, and this time is no different. For some reason, in my bones, I know he’s ready. He’s accepted his feelings, and a selfish part of me believes he’s enjoying the excitement I bring to his life.

  “Yeah, I didn’t mean that he doesn’t love—have you guys said it yet?” Sadie leans forward, her eyes bulging with curiosity.

  I nod, and they gush, both moving forward in their chairs, eager for the nitty-gritty details. I feel like a fog has come over me because I’m finally able to share with my friends that the one thing I’ve dreamed of for years came true last night.

  “Who said it first?” Kailey asks.

  “Did he?” Sadie chimes in before I can even answer.

  “He did,” I confirm, and they both ohh and awe over my answer.

  “We’ll be right back,” Brady screams from the front door, and we all stand.

  Trey walks in, hands Drew to Kailey, and the girls stand by her legs. “What’s going on?” she asks him when his lips peck her cheek.

  “Mrs. Fletcher needs our help for a second,” he informs her and jogs down the hall.

  All of us girls look out the window and admire the bo
ys helping their elderly neighbor by putting garbage bags over her plants and flowers, protecting them from the frost that’s due in tonight. My heart bursts for Dex a little more, if that’s possible, when I see him giving her some extra attention. A half hour later, the boys are jogging back over, and we all sigh at the sight of our knights in shining armor. The same guys who are willing to miss their football game to help their elderly neighbor.

  THE NEXT MORNING, I climb out of the happy restraints of Dex’s sheets. His light snores continue as I wander into the bathroom to start my day. Awoken from sleep two hours prior, I lay in bed, debating on how I would break the news to Ryland. I hate that the anxiety of what I have to do overtakes my time with Dex. He hasn’t asked me any questions, and I haven’t divulged that I had agreed on another date. I guess there’s no need to either worry or bring out alpha Dex when I’m squashing it today.

  A heavy weight sits in my stomach the whole time I take a shower, blow dry my hair, and put on my make-up. I leave the bathroom after a pep talk to myself on what I would tell Ryland. He’ll have to understand, after all, he saw Dex’s reaction. “Ready?” I jolt, noticing Dex standing in his doorway in a pair of jogging pants and a sweatshirt.

  I smile and tilt my head. Walking toward him, my hands land on his shoulders and then slowly lower until I grab both strings of his hoodie and pull down. His face meets mine, and I kiss his lips. “What are you doing up?” I ask.

  “I’m always up for you,” he jokes, and I laugh, rolling my eyes. “Seriously, though, boyfriends drive their girlfriends to work.” He smirks, and I wrap my arms around his waist. The fact he’s trying so hard to please me, confirms I’m making the right decision today.

  “You don’t have to. I know you have class.” I give him an out.

  “Nah, I only have one, and then I’ll go work out and be primped and ready to pick you up.” He chuckles lightly. This more carefree side of Dex is nice; it reminds me of a younger side of him, when I knew him best.

  I inch up on my toes and allow my lips to press against his for a second before starting to pull back.

  “Too short,” he says, his hand cradling my head in his palm to keep me where I am. His tongue sneaks in, and I open with a tongue waiting to mingle together in the wet and warmth of our mouths. Abruptly, he ends the kiss by letting my hair out of his grip and then closing his mouth. Leaving me craving more, like always. I can guarantee there may never be a time that my thirst for Dex will be quenched.

  As I turn on my heels, he smacks my ass, and I venture across the bathroom tile floor into my room. “God, I love that ass,” he says, and I giggle the most flirtatious sound.

  DEX PULLS UP to the curb. The bakery has already been open for a few hours, but the insurance company, Lily’s florist, the bank, and other shops around this strip of downtown are all just now unlocking their doors and flipping their closed signs to open. “I’ll pick you up at five,” he informs me, and I have no idea how I’ll make it through eight hours without his hands, his lips, and his embrace. “It will go by fast,” he says, as though he heard my thoughts. I guess he has always been able to read my facial expressions.

  “All right, if I don’t get out of this truck now, I never will.” I laugh, and he places his finger under my chin, forcing me over to his side of the truck. Leaning as far as I can over the center console, he inches his mouth closer and kisses me. Gentle and loving without an ounce of his usual possessiveness.

  “Go break it off with Mr. Suave,” he says and winks. My shoulders slump, and my heart races with the thought Dex knew this whole time. “He’d be crazy not to ask you for a second date.” He raises his eyebrows in question.

  “I already had plans to do it,” rushes out of me before he can doubt.

  “I’m not worried, Chrissy. I mean come on, look at me,” he kids, his hands descending his body.

  I laugh. “Modest, huh?” I tease him, and he joins in the laughter.

  “Go. I want him to know you’re mine.” A quick peck on the lips, leaving me with the taste of his minty toothpaste to remember him by for the next several hours.

  I reluctantly stumble out of the truck and give Dex a wave before sneaking into the gallery. The smell of coffee already brewing fills the air, but there’s no sign of Ryland. Since he’d be the only one to open the door, I take another look, but he’s nowhere to be seen. Even the bathrooms are empty. Then the back door swings open and a gush of cool air wafts through the space. In walks a smiling Ryland easily holding a box in his arms.

  The door shuts, and he begins to walk my way. Dropping the box to the side, he doesn’t skip a step before closing the gap between us. “Good morning,” he says softly, leaning against the wall. The smell of his expensive cologne floats around the two of us, and that weight sinks deeper in my belly.

  “Good morning,” I reply, and he tilts his head at my demeanor, his smile faltering.

  “You okay?” he asks, giving me an opening.

  “Something kind of happened after you dropped me off the other night.” I begin to break whatever this was off.

  He nods his head slowly, a smirk forming across his lips. “Okay,” he rolls it off his tongue, waiting for more information.

  “Remember the guy in the truck?” My eyes divert to my shuffling feet, anxiety slowly building inside of me. I play with my fingers, pushing myself to spit it out. He’s a grown man, and it’s not like I’m much of a girl.

  “Yeah.” He pushes himself off the wall.

  “Well, um … I’ve known him a long time and um.” Why won’t the words come out?

  “Chrissy.” He places his finger under my chin, raising my face to meet his. A reminder of Dex’s movements only minutes earlier and courage snaps in me.

  “He’s my boyfriend now,” I spit out and cringe, luring laughter from him.

  “You should look a lot happier about that,” he jokes, and the weight lifts in my stomach a little.

  “Oh, I am. It’s just I feel bad. I never meant to steer you wrong or —” I ramble. Honestly, I did enjoy my date, and I may have been using him as a distraction to my problems with Dex, but I didn’t do it expecting Dex to come around like he did.

  He shakes his head, a grin splashing across his face. “I didn’t think that. You don’t really seem like the manipulative type. I completely understand, Chrissy, and I wish you both luck. That’s not to say, I’m not a little disappointed because I did enjoy our date.” He pats my shoulder and begins to walk down the hall. My shoulders fall in relief, and the pounds disperse in my stomach. I’m finally able to truly enjoy the fact that this thing with Dex and me is real. “Oh, and he better not try to make you quit because you’re here until Jessa returns.” He laughs.

  “NO! He would never,” I shout, but bite my lip, because it’s something I could definitely see Dex doing. Then again, wouldn’t he have suggested that this morning?

  Ryland’s laugh bounces off the walls of the hallway. “Hmm … I’m pretty sure if you were mine, I would.” Then he retreats to his office, and I rush over to my desk to start the day, relieved the dread has been lifted. Ryland would make a great boyfriend to anyone, but to me, only one could hold that place and sadly it wasn’t him.

  AFTER MY CLASS, in which I didn’t accomplish much, since I mostly leaned back in my seat with a blank screen on my laptop, my eyes looking out to the room, with visions of Chrissy dancing through my head. The ones where she’s naked, lying in my bed. Her tits, ass, and every damn curve of her body I’ve committed to memory the first night. God, she gorgeous, and now that I stopped being a lame ass and have admitted my feelings, I can honestly say, I’m different. It’s not just Chrissy’s body that has me wrapped so tight, it’s the whole package of Chrissy Dawson. It’s just a bonus that her kind-hearted, smart and funny self is wrapped in a hot-ass package.

  It’s an odd encompassing feeling of security, or safety, that overcame me that night. I was going to wait, not divulge my love for at least a month. Isn’t that the norm? Hell if
I know, but I couldn’t stop the words. Her body molded to mine, the smell of her new fruity shampoo tingling my nose. A frightened sense took over me, and I had to tell her how I felt. How much I’ve always loved her before she left or doubted me.

  That protective part of me that has always shined through when it came to her told me to tell her, to put her fears at ease that I really did have an epiphany. That I do love her and always have. But that didn’t even compare to when she spoke them back to me. Just like that, I understood all of my friends. With those four words, I love you, too, I’d empty pockets, I’d give her my keys … everything of mine was instantly hers. Most importantly, she owned my heart. She held the one part of myself I kept hidden from most people. My friends, the only ones who truly saw any redeeming caring quality of mine, weren’t even aware of that part of me.

  With her, though, I wanted to be that guy. Brady, Grant, and Trey’s sudden personality shift; choosing to spend a night in with their girlfriend, cancelling shows, and ditching out on guys’ night out all made sense in that instant. I finally understood why they left after the shows to hold their girls in their arms rather than get drunk and screw a random chick.

  The shuffling of bodies jerks me out of my daydreaming and I scramble to grab my things. Swinging my backpack over my shoulder, I file out of the room. A few girls and guys I know from almost five years of school, saying pleasantries to pass the time until we reach the door.

  A half hour later, I’m jogging on the treadmill at Barbells when Grant walks up. “So, rumors are flying.” He leans against the vacant machine next to me. “You’ve jumped.” His cocky grin plastered on his exhausted face.

  “Man, you look like shit,” I comment, glancing over for a second before grabbing my water bottle.

  He laughs and nods his head. “I don’t disagree. I’ve been working a little too much because of the second location we’re opening. Jessa’s exhausted when I get home, but I try to take over some feedings so she can rest.” He palms his face, dragging it down past his chin.