by Sarah Pond
Olivia felt a pain shoot through her body, she hated that she had hurt Jasmine so much. Olivia took Jasmine's hand, and squeezed it. Jasmine looked up, and Olivia leaned across and kissed her. Emma came back from the bathroom to see Jasmine and Olivia holding hands. Well, that seems to have gone okay, she thought, relieved.
It was after midnight, and Olivia and Jasmine were ready to go home. They waited for Emma to come back from the dance floor, and went to collect their jackets.
When they arrived home, Emma said goodnight and went to her room. Jasmine followed Olivia into her bedroom, and they started to get undressed. Since Olivia had met Chloe, she was feeling unsettled. Olivia brushed her teeth, and then got into bed. Jasmine climbed in beside her, and cuddled up to Olivia's back. Olivia said, 'Chloe was stunning. She has amazing eyes.'
Jasmine murmured, 'Uh huh.'
She felt Olivia take a deep breath. 'Did you sleep with her?'
Jasmine held her breath for a moment, she really did not want to be going there. Olivia continued, 'I know it's none of my business, really, but I can't get the thought out of my head, I just want to know.'
Jasmine simply said, 'Yes,' and felt Olivia's body stiffen. Jasmine's heart sank. Hesitantly, Jasmine started, 'After you ended things with Liam, I was hopeful that we might have another chance. Then, when you started seeing Will... I thought I had lost you.'
Olivia turned over to face Jasmine, tears in her eyes, 'Sometimes I just don't get why you're with me, you could have anyone you want.'
Jasmine looked into Olivia's eyes, 'I want you. No one else. You. You seem to be forgetting that Chloe was hitting on you. I think that is one of the many things that I love about you. You don't realise just how fucking sexy you are, and it's quite disarming.'
Olivia smiled in spite of herself. Jasmine continued, 'You are sweet, thoughtful, kind, and you have a freedom in the way you express yourself that moves me. You inspire me, and you continually take my breath away.'
A tear ran down Olivia's face, and she kissed Jasmine, very gently and slowly, trying to convey how much Jasmine meant to her. They held one another, and became entwined, and made sweet, slow love into the early hours.
When Olivia and Jasmine got up at mid morning, they went into the kitchen to get a drink. Emma was having her breakfast, and she watched the two of them, the way they were with each other, how they moved around with one another. 'You two are the cutest couple. What are you going to do today?'
Olivia looked at Jasmine, and smiled. Then she looked at Emma, 'Not a lot, we're a bit tired after last night. We'll probably go for a walk. How about you, are you seeing Matt today?'
'No, he's playing football with his mates today.'
'You can come out with us if you fancy it,' Jasmine offered.
Emma said thank you, but that she would leave the lovebirds to themselves today!
Over the next few weeks, Olivia was still trying to get to talk with Becky. When Olivia rang her Mum, she would get updates about Becky, and she knew that Becky would stop by to chat to Ella. 'Mum, it's so hard. I can't do anything if she won't answer the phone.'
Her Mum said that Becky was still struggling to come to terms with everything. 'You have to remember, that you're off doing this exciting new thing, working in London, and you've fallen in love, and you're happy. Becky is still here, her best friend has moved away and she feels that she's losing you to Jasmine. You have been friends since you were so young, and I'm afraid it really is a case of time, you can't rush her.'
Those last few words really struck a chord. Olivia remembered how she had felt when Jasmine had declared how she felt about her. Ultimately, she had needed some time and headspace to realise on her own what she wanted. 'Thanks, Mum.'
Olivia did keep trying to speak with Becky. Eventually, one day Becky answered her phone. 'Hi Becky, how are you?'
'I'm okay, how are you?'
Olivia tried making small talk, but it was pretty hard going. Olivia hated how things felt between them, and the stilted conversation. Olivia said, 'Look, I really want to be able to talk to you. I miss you. I'm still the same person I was, nothing has changed.'
Then it all came out. Becky told Olivia how she had felt when Olivia had moved away, how she missed her, and their life, hanging out with Dan and Liam. 'I think it's great that you knew what you wanted to do, and good that you did it. It's just that I thought you would get it out of your system, and you would come home, get back with Liam, and things could go back to the way they were. But you've been gone over a year now, and you're with Jasmine, and I'm just finding it really hard. I know I sound selfish, but that's how I feel,' Becky sobbed.
'Oh Becky. I didn't know myself whether I would like London, but I knew I had to try it. I didn't have a long term plan, and I certainly would never have imagined in a million years what would happen with Jasmine. But things do change, life changes, and we have to go with that. As it is, I'm loving my life here, but that doesn't change the fact that you're my best friend, and I miss you.'
Once they had cleared the air, they talked like they used to, and Olivia was relieved. She asked how Lucy was getting on at the gallery, and Becky told her that she and Liam had started dating. Olivia said that she was really pleased for him. Becky said, 'So am I, I was fed up of his moping about. Also, Lucy was going all soppy every time he came by the gallery. They're very sweet together.'
Things started to feel like they were going back to normal with Becky, and Olivia was so relieved.
A couple of evenings later, over dinner, Olivia told Jasmine her about her conversation with her Mum, and also how she had eventually got to talk with Becky. Jasmine was thrilled for her. Olivia wondered whether her Mum had had a chat with Becky, and encouraged her to talk to Olivia. Becky was like another daughter to Ella, they were very close. Whatever had happened, Olivia was so happy about it. Jasmine said, whilst they were on the subject of family, she had been thinking about inviting her Mum out for dinner, and how would Olivia feel about meeting her Dad too. Olivia said, of course. Jasmine explained that she wouldn't introduce Olivia as her girlfriend, but as her colleague, if she was okay with that. 'As I mentioned before, my Dad is old school and stubborn, but I do want him to meet you. Would that be okay with you?'
Olivia said that it would, and Jasmine said that she would arrange something.
Olivia was getting dressed, ready to go out for dinner. She decided to wear her new green dress that she had bought on their recent shopping trip. She was putting her earrings on, and saw Jasmine walking up behind her in the reflection of the mirror. Olivia smiled, and Jasmine stood behind her, and wrapped her arms around Olivia. She kissed her neck, saying 'You look gorgeous.'
'Thank you, so do you. I'm feeling really nervous about meeting your Dad.'
'You'll be fine. You've already met my Mum, it will be alright.'
Olivia turned and kissed Jasmine. They were ready to go, and the cab had arrived. When they arrived at the restaurant, their coats were taken to be hung up. They were shown to their table, and Jasmine's parents were already seated. Grace caught sight of them, and they rose as Jasmine approached with Olivia. 'Hello darling, how are you? Olivia, lovely to see you again.'
They each kissed one another on the cheek, and then Jasmine introduced Olivia to her father. 'Pleased to meet you, Mr Carter,' Olivia shook hands with him.
'Pleased to meet you, too. And call me Henry.'
Henry was about six foot tall, with steely grey hair swept back, and parted at the side. He was stocky, and his face had strong features, as though it was carved from granite. Olivia supposed he was quite handsome, but she also found him rather intimidating. They took their seats, and ordered drinks. 'So, how are you, Dad?' asked Jasmine.
'Well, thank you. And yourself?'
Henry wasn't a man to use more words than he needed to. After a few more short exchanges, Grace saved them and started talking about a charity that she was beginning to become involved with. With Grace and Jasmine keeping the conversat
ion going, Olivia was able to relax a bit. As Jasmine had already told her what her father was like, she was prepared for the lack of small talk. Still, Henry was polite towards her.
As it was now November, the conversation turned to Christmas. Grace asked whether Olivia had any plans. 'Actually, I was going to go back to Cornwall for Christmas, but I haven't discussed it with Jasmine yet. I was going to ask her if she would like to come with me.'
As soon as the words had left her mouth, she thought, 'Shit.' Jasmine looked round at Olivia, surprised and pleased. Henry asked, 'What does Jasmine have to do with your holiday arrangements,' and seeing the look on Olivia's face, said, 'I see.'
Jasmine looked at him, then at Grace. Henry's face went dark, and he stood up, 'Excuse me, I need some air,' and he walked out into the foyer of the restaurant.
Jasmine was furious, 'Oh, for Christ's sake, this is ridiculous. He is impossible.'
Olivia excused herself, and went to the toilets, shutting herself in a cubicle. Jasmine followed after her, and tapped on the door. Olivia said, 'I'm fine. I'll be out in a minute.'
But Jasmine could hear the sob in her voice. 'Hey, come out and we can talk.'
Olivia sniffed, 'It was going well, why did I have to mention going to Cornwall.'
Jasmine sighed, 'He's always been like this. You didn't do anything. He's pompous and rude. Please come out.'
Reluctantly, Olivia opened the door, and walked out to Jasmine. Jasmine put her arms around Olivia and held her. Once Olivia had regained herself, she wiped her eyes and they went back out to the table. They saw that Grace was talking with Henry in the foyer, with lots of gesticulating between them. Grace returned to the table, saying, 'Sorry about that, your father has a headache and is going home.'
Jasmine looked at her mother, 'I don't know who you think you're kidding, he is so fucking rude. I don't know how you put up with him.'
Grace looked lovingly at her daughter, 'Don't let him ruin the evening. Now, tell me more about your plans for Christmas,' and she touched Olivia's arm.
Olivia was grateful for Grace being so sweet, and said that she was going to ask Jasmine to come back with her for Christmas. Jasmine was delighted, and said that she would love to. Grace really liked Olivia, and appreciated how happy she made Jasmine. In the past, if something like tonight had happened with Henry, Jasmine would have made a scene, and it wouldn't have ended well. Now, the three of them could enjoy the rest of the evening in a much more relaxed atmosphere. As the evening wore on, and the wine was flowing, Olivia plucked up the courage to ask Grace how she and Henry had met. Grace smiled, 'Well, I was at an event thrown by a colleague of mine. I was nearly thirty, and at that time I had just recently come out of a rather volatile relationship, and was nursing a broken heart. Then along came Henry, suave, charming and decidedly straight forward. He was dependable and direct, and it was a nice change for me. Being quite a lot older than me, he seemed confident and sorted, and after an emotional rollercoaster of a relationship of the previous couple of years, I was ready for some stability. I did want to have a baby, and then when I became pregnant rather quickly, he insisted that we got married, he wouldn't hear of me having a baby unwed. I did love him, though.'
Olivia said, 'But he wasn't the love of your life?'
Grace looked at Jasmine, 'I'll always love him because we have Jasmine. But the love of my life was the person I was with before I met Henry.'
Olivia asked, 'Did you ever see him again?' Grace shook her head.
Jasmine said, 'I don't think you ever told me this. Would it never have worked with you two?'
Grace looked down, 'No, we were great when things were good, but we clashed, and when you are with an amazing artist who has massive periods of self doubt and could be very moody and destructive, it was hard. I said I needed some time apart, and it was just after that, that I met your father.'
Jasmine said, 'I know what he's like, and for me that's one thing, but I don't want him to take it out on Olivia.'
Grace smiled at her, 'I know, darling. That you and Olivia have each other, even when things can be really difficult for you, is what is really important. I see the way you look at each other, and how you are together. Don't let convention get in the way, like I did.'
Jasmine looked puzzled, 'What do you mean?'
'The person I was with before your father, the love of my life, she was called Jasmine, and I named you after her.'
CHAPTER TWENTY
Jasmine just sat staring, trying to take in what she had just heard. Olivia held her hand, worried. Eventually, she stuttered, 'Wh, what are you talking about, why have you never told me this before?'
Grace said gently, 'I had told you before that I was in love with someone before I met your father. I also told you that we stopped seeing one another because I wanted to have a baby and they didn't. Also, even if she had wanted to, it was more a case of it not being easy to have a child in a same sex relationship. It's easier nowadays than it was thirty years ago, not to say that it's plain sailing. And like I said, our relationship had been rather a rollercoaster, so not the best environment to bring a child into the world.'
Jasmine looked at Grace, 'Why are you telling me this now?'
Grace looked into her daughter's eyes, 'Your father is a good man. I wish he was more accepting of your relationships, but you know how old fashioned he is. I'm telling you this because I see how happy you are together, and when you thought you had lost Olivia, I hated seeing you like that,' she turned to Olivia, 'Sorry, but I have to say this. Now that you know what you have together, and how happy you are, hold onto it. I know what it's like, and how it feels. Jasmine, I've never seen you so happy, and I don't want anything to get in the way of that. I've always admired how strong you are, how passionate you are about your convictions. I wouldn't change anything about my life, because I have you, and I love you more than anything.'
'Oh, Mum,' Jasmine and Grace hugged each other.
Then Jasmine turned to Olivia and held her hand. Jasmine wiped her eyes, 'Does Dad know about your previous relationship?'
Grace shook her head, 'No, only that it had been difficult and that it had ended. At the time, I didn't want to talk about it, and he didn't ask, so that was that.'
'Were there other women?' Jasmine wanted to know, she had so many questions.
'No, only her.'
'Why didn't you tell me this when I came out?'
Grace explained that it was a difficult time, and after the way Henry had reacted, she knew she couldn't say anything. 'Also, I was scared to talk about it. It took me a long time to get over her, and eventually I had shut those feelings away. I couldn't bear to open that up again, I'm not as strong as you are.'
When Olivia and Jasmine were back at home that evening, Jasmine was in a contemplative mood. As they got changed, Olivia unzipped Jasmine's dress, lowering it off of her shoulders, and kissing the back of her neck. Olivia asked whether Jasmine was okay. 'Yes I am. I was pretty shocked about what my Mum said, obviously. She talked about my convictions and strength, but I'm wondering about that. I do keep a part of myself shut away. When we were in Cornwall, I did feel freer, and it felt good,' Jasmine sighed.
Olivia looked Jasmine in the eye, 'You are a strong person. Just because you don't tell everyone your business doesn't mean that you're not strong. It's like you've always said, your business is your business, no one else's.'
Jasmine smiled at Olivia, and touched her face gently. 'I think it's sad that my mother didn't go for what she wanted to.'
Olivia replied, 'She did. She wanted you. And she had already said that her relationship with Jasmine wasn't working. She's happy with your dad, and accepts him as he is.'
'I guess you're right. Thank you. It certainly explains why she was so cool and supportive when I came out,' and she kissed Olivia.
They were putting their pyjamas on whilst they were talking, and Jasmine asked about Christmas, asking was it really okay to go with Olivia. 'Yes, I've spoken to my Mum,
also I've asked that you share my room with me, if they would be alright with that. I explained that I practically live with you at weekends anyway.'
Jasmine looked astounded, 'What did she say?'
'She said yes!' Jasmine hugged Olivia, she was so excited.
'Talking of living together, move in with me, please. I love you so much, and I hate it when you go home,' Jasmine made puppy eyes at Olivia.
Olivia laughed, 'Okay, yes.'
Jasmine was ecstatic, 'Really?'
'Yes, really!' Jasmine kissed Olivia, holding her close.
Then she started to slowly unbutton Olivia's top, kissing from her neck, downwards. As Jasmine ran her hands down Olivia's body, she felt that familiar twist and want in her stomach, and melted as she felt Jasmine's lips on her breasts. She lay back on the bed, closed her eyes, and gave in to the ecstasy.
They decided that Olivia would move in with Jasmine when they got back from Cornwall. Firstly, Olivia needed to tell Emma. After work one evening, Emma and Olivia were chatting, and Emma asked how things were going. Olivia said, 'Really good, actually. Jasmine is coming to Cornwall with me for Christmas. Also, do you remember that I said that she asked me to move in with her not long ago?'
Emma said, 'Yes I do. From the look on your face, I'm guessing you said yes?' Olivia nodded, beaming from ear to ear. 'I'm really pleased for you. I'm going to miss you living here, though.'
Olivia said that they would still hang out together. 'Emma, I want to thank you. You really helped me to get settled in London, it was so much easier than if I'd done it on my own. Also, you've been so supportive of me and Jasmine, I can't tell you what that means to me.'
She hugged Emma tightly. They drew apart, and Olivia asked, 'So how are things with you and the lovely Matt?'
Emma smiled, 'Very good, we're really happy. This is my longest relationship, and it feels good. I certainly don't feel ready to settle down yet, though.'
'I'm really happy for you,' Olivia smiled at her friend.