by Sarah Pond
Phoebe began crying even harder, and Fran put her arm around her until she calmed down a bit. 'Is something the matter with Jasmine?'
Phoebe shook her head. Eventually, through her sobs, Phoebe told Fran what had happened. Fran sat back, shocked. Once Phoebe had explained everything to Fran, she started to calm down. Fran couldn't believe it. She felt numb all over, and said that she would move into the spare bedroom whilst they decided what they were going to do.
In the office, Laura was asking Olivia about her visit home to Cornwall. Olivia said that she had had her fitting for her bridesmaid's dress, and that Tina looked gorgeous in her wedding dress. 'Although it was only a short visit, it was good to see everyone. Becky, my best friend, is also a bridesmaid, so we all had a lot of fun trying dresses on.'
Jasmine walked into the outer office as they were chatting, and said, 'I can't wait to see you in your dress. I think you'd look amazing in a wedding dress, too,' and looked at Olivia in a way that made her insides melt.
Laura felt a bit like a third wheel, and said, 'I think I'll pop out and get some drinks, what would you like?'
Olivia turned around, her cheeks flushed, 'I'll pop out, I think I could do with some fresh air.'
Laura smirked, and Olivia grabbed her jacket and bag, and headed for the cafe. As she was walking up the road towards the cafe, she saw Fran. 'Hi, how are you?'
'Um, okay I guess,' Fran replied, 'We're trying to work things out.'
Olivia was a bit confused, 'Sorry, is everything okay with you and Phoebe?'
Fran shook her head, 'Not really. I didn't know how she had been feeling, and after what happened, I'm just not sure that I can stay with her.'
Olivia asked if she wanted to talk, and they went into the cafe together. Sitting down with their drinks, Fran started telling Olivia what was happening. She said that she loved Phoebe, but just didn't know that it could work, knowing how she felt. She explained that Phoebe had been distant and acting strangely, and how she wouldn't talk to Fran about it at first. Then she started talking about Jasmine, saying how a few of their friends really fancied her. 'Well, you know how it is. People notice Jasmine, men and women. She's very beautiful. She told me it was a mistake, but I can't get the thought of them together out of my head, there's too much history between them.'
Olivia felt the colour rush from her face, and she felt as though everything was going in slow motion. 'What are you talking about?'
'Oh my god, you didn't know? I'm so sorry.'
Fran had presumed that Jasmine would have told Olivia. Olivia felt sick, and said, 'I have to go,' and rushed off before Fran could stop her.
CHAPTER TWENTY TWO
Jasmine was thinking that Olivia had been gone a long time. She checked her phone, and saw that she had a missed call. Olivia's probably forgotten which drink I asked for, she smiled to herself.
She dialled her voicemail and heard Fran's voice, 'Jasmine, it's Fran. I just bumped into Olivia. She asked how I was. I thought she knew what happened. She seemed pretty upset, I'm really sorry.'
'Shit.' Jasmine put the phone down.
Olivia walked along the road, tears in her eyes. She kept replaying Fran words over and over again in her head, 'She told me it was a mistake, but I can't get the thought of them together out of my head.' Did that mean what she thought it did? Her head hurt at the thought of it, and she still felt sick. Olivia heard her phone ringing, and saw that it was Jasmine. She couldn't talk to her now, not walking along the road. She let it go to voicemail.
Jasmine walked out of her office to speak with Laura. She explained that something had come up, and Olivia wouldn't be coming back to the office this afternoon. Laura saw the strain on Jasmine's face, and realised that there must be some problem between her and Olivia. Laura was pleased that Jasmine was with Olivia, as she had never seen her so happy. But at times like this, the atmosphere in the office could be rather tense. Laura hoped that whatever it was would be sorted out soon. Jasmine finished up what she was doing as soon as she could, and started packing her bag up to go home.
Olivia didn't want to go home just yet. She knew that Jasmine would be leaving work soon, and she needed some space to calm down before she could talk to her. Olivia still had a key for Emma's flat, so she headed there. She sent Emma a text to let her know, so that she wouldn't surprise her. When she arrived at the flat, Olivia headed straight for her old room. She threw herself onto the bed, convulsing with sobs, the tears flowing down her face. Some time later, Olivia heard a tap on the door, and Emma looked in. Seeing the state of Olivia, she went over to hug her. Olivia started crying again, and Emma waited for her to calm down, before asking what was going on. 'I think Jasmine might be having an affair.'
Emma looked shocked, 'No way. She's crazy about you.'
Olivia told her about bumping into Fran. She said that something must have happened if Fran might be leaving Phoebe, they had been together for years.
Emma said, 'I just can't believe it. What does Jasmine say?'
'I haven't spoken to her yet, I've only just found out.'
'You've really got to talk to Jasmine.'
Jasmine made her way home, calling Olivia's number again, and leaving a message, 'Please, Olivia, we need to talk. I don't know what Fran said, but nothing happened. I really need to talk to you.'
When she arrived home, she called out to Olivia, and went to look for her. She wasn't at home, shit, where was she. There was only one place that she could think of.
There was a knock at the door, and Emma opened it to see Jasmine standing there, looking upset. 'Is she here?' she asked Emma.
'Look, she's in a right state. Maybe you should come back later.'
'I have to see her, I have to explain. Please.'
Emma could see how desperate Jasmine was. She stood back to let Jasmine in, and closed the door. Jasmine went to the bedroom, and opened the door to see Olivia on the bed. She looked terrible. Jasmine wanted to hold her, but knew that she would have to tread carefully. Jasmine started to move towards Olivia. 'No, don't,' Olivia warned.
Jasmine stopped, and asked if she could sit down. Olivia said no. Jasmine said, 'I don't know what Fran told you, but I promise you that nothing happened. I love you, it's that simple.'
Olivia sobbed, 'The minute I go away, Phoebe is there. Did you fuck her?'
'No, I didn't do anything, I swear to you. We spent the day together. Phoebe came back home for a coffee, and she tried to kiss me. I stopped her, and told her to leave. That's it.'
'Why didn't you tell me?' Tears were streaming down Olivia's face.
Jasmine was dearly wishing that she had told Olivia, but it was too late now. She was going to have to deal with it as it was. If only she could hold Olivia, and she would know how she felt. Jasmine let out a long breath, 'Nothing happened, and after the way you reacted when you found out Phoebe was my ex, I wasn't sure whether to tell you. I had missed you, and when you got home, I really wasn't thinking about it. I should have told you, I'm sorry.'
Olivia looked at Jasmine, a hard expression on her face, 'Fran says lots of their friends fancy you. I suppose it was just a matter of time.'
Jasmine stared at Olivia, feeling like she had put a knife in her heart. 'Fuck you.'
Jasmine left the room, and headed for the front door, slamming it behind her as she left.
Jasmine couldn't believe that Olivia had said that. Christ, did she think that she was that shallow, or that easy for that matter. When would she get it into her head that Jasmine only wanted Olivia, and no one else. Maybe she was better off without her. In her heart she knew that this wasn't true, but in this moment, her heart felt like it was breaking into little pieces.
The next day, Jasmine arrived at work early. She didn't know what she was going to do, but for now, she was going to bury herself in work.
Olivia knew that Jasmine had meetings all day, and took advantage to go back home and collect a few things to take back to Emma's. She was just going to stay a couple of
nights, so that she and Jasmine could both cool down. After Jasmine had left Emma's yesterday, she hadn't tried calling Olivia again. Olivia knew that what she had said was below the belt, but she was still very upset with Jasmine. Olivia arrived in the office a little later than usual, but Laura was pleased to see her. She didn't know why Olivia hadn't come back to the office yesterday afternoon, and decided from the look on Olivia's face, that it was best not to ask. Laura let Olivia know that Jasmine was in her first meeting already. Olivia got stuck in with work, and managed to avoid seeing Jasmine all day. The next few days were very much the same, with both women keeping busy and avoiding each other. On the couple of occasions when they did have to talk, it was very strained.
Back at home, Jasmine was feeling miserable. She hated that she could feel so bad over someone else. At least when she was single, things were more straight forward. But who was she kidding, she wouldn't trade any of the time that she had spent with Olivia. Although it had been unbelievably painful at times, they had shared so much love, so much fun and companionship. Not to mention, the phenomenal sex. She missed her so much. But how could they be together if Olivia didn't trust her. Whenever there had been problem, Olivia would shut down or run off. Well, she wasn't going to do all the chasing this time. If Olivia was going to run off again, she would leave her to it. Jasmine decided that tonight, she just needed to forget for a bit, and numb the pain. She wanted to go to a club, have some drinks, and dance.
When she arrived at the club, Jasmine checked her jacket and went straight to the bar to order herself a rum and cola. After her third drink, she made her way to the dance floor. She didn't notice how people watched her walking over to dance, thinking how they would love to dance with her. It was dark and noisy at the club, with flashing disco lights and a thumping beat. It was Friday night, the music was loud, and it was packed with people dancing closely together. Once she had been dancing for a while, a good looking guy starting dancing with her. She didn't care, she just wanted to get lost in the rhythm, and let go of her thoughts for a few hours. They danced for a long time, Jasmine sometimes with her hands on his shoulders, and his on her hips. He really liked this woman, she was so sensual. He watched her lips, really wanting to kiss them. Jasmine was aware of him starting to lean in, and she excused herself, and started to walk away, back towards the bar. The guy followed her, offering to buy Jasmine a drink. 'That's very kind, but no thanks. I'm with someone.'
'I can't see anyone. You've been dancing with me for the last hour.'
'Look, you're really cute, but you're not my type.'
He smiled, his best cute smile, 'What is your type, then?'
'Well, for starters, you would need to have tits.'
'Oh.' The guy couldn't help but laugh, and deciding that it was a lost cause, wandered back to the dance floor.
Jasmine then heard a voice behind her, 'I can help you there!' and turned around to see Susan smiling at her.
They hugged, and Jasmine asked where Samantha was. Susan explained that they weren't together now. 'I'm surprised to see you here. I didn't think this was really your scene.'
'Well, tonight it is. I don't want to talk, I just want to dance.'
They sat at the bar together, Susan drinking wine, and Jasmine nursing another rum and cola. They got up to dance, and the cute guy watched the two of them together, realising that tonight was not going to be his lucky night, as he had thought earlier. Susan danced closely with Jasmine, thanking her lucky stars that she had come out tonight. This was the first time that she had been alone with Jasmine. That was, if you could call being in a packed full nightclub alone. Susan wondered whether Jasmine was still with Olivia, but as she didn't want to talk, she wasn't going to ask. Well, she would see where the evening would take her. Susan danced as close to Jasmine as she could dare get. Jasmine was oblivious to this, her head was muzzy, and all she could feel was the throb of the music beating through her.
At two in the morning, Susan knew that it was time to take Jasmine home. Jasmine was too far gone to tell Susan where she lived. She found out that Jasmine had checked her jacket, and was trying to ask Jasmine where the receipt was. Susan slid her hand into the back pocket of Jasmine's jeans. No receipt. As she tried the second back pocket, Susan couldn't help feeling a rush of excitement as she touched Jasmine. She pulled out the receipt. After she had collected their jackets, she led Jasmine outside into the crisp air to get a cab. Back at her place, Susan got Jasmine onto the bed, removed her jacket, and managed to get her jeans off of her. She pulled the covers over Jasmine, and left her to sleep. She put a glass of water on the bedside table, and went to bed.
On Saturday morning, Olivia's phone rang, and it was Fran. She asked if they could meet up, and Olivia agreed. They arranged to meet at a cafe near Oxford Circus at midday. Olivia arrived to see Fran already at a table. Fran greeted Olivia, and thanked her for coming. 'I just wanted to talk to you, I felt awful about the other day.'
Olivia replied, 'Sorry I ran off. If Jasmine had told me, I wouldn't have reacted like I did. How are you?'
Fran said that she wasn't great. She still didn't know what she was going to do. Phoebe wanted them to stay together, but how could she when she was making a move on Jasmine. She can't be happy or she wouldn't have done it. Fran looked at Olivia, 'For what it's worth, Phoebe said that Jasmine was shocked at Phoebe's behaviour, and made her leave. Jasmine only has eyes for you, you need to know that.'
Olivia replied, 'The day I saw you, Jasmine tried to explain. I was really upset, and I said something really horrible. We haven't spoken since, except for at work. I think I've really screwed it up this time.'
Then Olivia asked Fran what she thought she was going to do. She didn't envy her situation, and she realised how lucky she was in comparison. On her way back, she decided to call Jasmine, and wanted to say that she was coming home, and could they talk. Jasmine's phone went to voicemail, and Olivia left her a brief message. Olivia went back to Emma's to get her things, then headed home, feeling much happier. When she arrived, she called out to Jasmine, but there was no answer. Olivia rang Jasmine's number again, and again it went straight to voicemail.
Jasmine woke up on Saturday morning feeling terrible. Her head was banging, and her mouth was so dry, she thought she must have eaten a bag of sand. She rubbed her eyes, feeling disorientated. Where the hell was she. Under the duvet, she realised that she was only wearing her top and pants. Fuck, whose bed was she in? She didn't recognise the room at all. Jasmine tried to remember what had happened last night, but trying to think just made her head hurt more. She vaguely remembered dancing with a guy, and hands on her hips, and he had wanted to buy her a drink. She was sure that she had said no. But she did remember dancing with a woman, or had she dreamed it. Sitting up, she felt a wave of nausea as the room spun around. She slumped back onto the pillows, as Susan walked into the bedroom. 'Hey, how are you feeling?' she asked, handing Jasmine the glass of water. 'Looking at you, I would say not too good!'
She sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for Jasmine to finish drinking. She took the glass from Jasmine, and set it down. Jasmine looked at Susan, 'We didn't, did we?'
'No. You were in no state. I brought you here to sleep off the alcohol, I couldn't let you go home alone.'
'Thank you.'
'Not that I wouldn't have jumped at the chance.' Susan looked intently at Jasmine.
Jasmine got up quickly, excusing herself, and dashed to the bathroom. She emptied the contents of her stomach, which was mainly liquid, into the toilet, and flushed it. Susan followed her to make sure that she was okay. Jasmine was sitting on the floor, her head in her hands. Susan stroked Jasmine's shoulder, 'I didn't think the idea of sleeping with me was literally sickening!'
Despite herself, Jasmine smiled weakly. Susan helped Jasmine get freshened up and made her a hot drink. Once she was feeling slightly more human, Susan suggested that she have a shower, then maybe she could manage a bit of breakfast.
It was now qui
te late on Saturday afternoon, and Olivia was getting concerned that Jasmine hadn't arrived home, or tried to call her. Suddenly, her phone rang, making her jump. She saw Jasmine's number, and was relieved. She held the phone up to her ear, and before she could say anything, she realised that the voice at the other end wasn't Jasmine's. 'Hi, Olivia? It's Susan. Sorry to bother you, but Jasmine's just left, and I've just found her phone on the floor. Can you let her know it's here.'
Olivia hung up, and put her phone down.
About half an hour later, Olivia heard a key in the door, and looked up to see Jasmine, looking tired and dishevelled. 'Olivia, you're home,' Jasmine pulled her shoes off, and started to walk towards Olivia.
'I tried calling you.'
'I lost my phone.'
'Susan just rang. You left your phone at her place.' Olivia looked upset, and Jasmine wasn't sure that she could deal with this right now.
Olivia asked, 'Did you spend the night with Susan?'
Jasmine was exhausted, 'You know, I can't keep doing this. I know I made a mistake not telling you what happened with Phoebe. I tried to apologise. But you fucked off back to Emma's on Tuesday. You've been gone four days. So what if I'd had enough, and went out dancing last night. I got drunk, Susan happened to be at the club, and she took me home because I was in such a state. If you can't trust me, I can't do anything about that. Maybe it's not meant to be for us.'
CHAPTER TWENTY THREE
Over the last few weeks, Jasmine had tried really hard to get on with her life. As before, she threw herself into work. Laura and Jason really felt for her. Still, with Olivia gone, maybe she would start to get back to her old self. Olivia had left for Cornwall over three weeks ago, having given in her notice. They hadn't started looking for a replacement yet, Jasmine just couldn't face it at the moment. Laura said that she was fine on her own for now. Jason didn't want to push anything, as Jasmine was still rather delicate. Jason and Laura really missed Olivia, the office just wasn't the same without her. Neither of them could believe that she was gone. She and Jasmine had had their blips, but they always seemed to work them out.