“So you tell me, what do I do?” she asked in panic, her heart pounding with such ferocity she was afraid the whole world could hear.
Jeffrey didn't answer, he already left the thoughtmission.
The Creation Company, and Jeffrey in particular, were facing an image crisis that demanded immediate attention. A company-employed thought technician contacted Candy. After ruling out network hardware and infrastructure, he examined her head. The component seemed to be in order. Blood flow checked out fine. Everything was wired correctly and there was no obvious cause for a malfunction. There were no previous documented incidents in which uncontrolled thoughts made it through the safeguards.
Hours later, after the whole world already knew about her blasted allergy, Candy was developing an allergy to her career. Parguin flew a circle around her and landed. If only he could read thoughts, the little feather ball. If only.
***
After the incident, the life of stardom started weighing heavy on her. She was tired of the brain merchandising, the color schemes, the long beauty treatments, the strict diet, hard training, concert preparations, rehearsals, interviews; a super-cool world with no substance. She was tired of releasing a new single every week with her virtual image doing the actual singing. The day she finished rehearsals for her new song, Sugar Trash, she thought to herself – as tending owls removed her makeup and massaging a cream of aloe vera and Japanese garden fish eggs into her face – that she missed her old misery. She yearned for the days when she was nothing and had her peace.
The world soon forgot about the embarrassing thoughtmission incident, and it actually won Candy some new fans who appreciated the young singer's honesty and defiance. Sales went up and life went on. Now and then, she made a holo appearance performing to Neverminds in their shelters. Candy would never dream of going anywhere near those people, but her managers explained that performing for these poor souls could contribute to her image as someone who cared about the less fortunate in society.
“Let me make this clear,” Jeffrey thoughtmitted, “those Neverminds - I don't care if the lot of them croak, but it's good for business.”
“They were really happy to see me perform,” Candy crooned. “You should have seen the excitement in their eyes, like they've never been to a concert in their lives, really cute.”
“You don't fucking say. Just get on with it once or twice every month, and more importantly, make sure to tell the world about it.”
“Okay,” Candy said, angry with herself for showing enthusiasm.
Everything went smoothly, and Candy was certain that things were back to normal, until another unintended thoughtmission shocked her mind readers:
I miss my old boyfriend, she thoughtmitted. And how could I tell people my dear father raped me? It's all a lie. I want to cry. I can't tell myself apart from Candy Metal anymore. I can't believe they asked me to dedicate my last song to Parguin… I've only just met him. It's so pathetic. Who does that?! Even a lie needs some credibility.
The sudden incoming thought wave knocked her back and she almost choked. She was chewed out of her wits, and felt the truth and lies dancing a dark infernal dance inside of her.
And then she broadcast what would be her swansong. She was about to be shut out the candy shop: Jeffrey got me to sign that straightjacket of a contract and have consensual sex with him. It was rape! It doesn't matter that I agreed so I could get the deal. And he even chose to imagine me as some starlet. He fucked me straight and up the ass.”
Jeffrey was going berserk on their private channel: “What are you doing, you insane bitch?!”
“I don't know what to say!” she tried explaining, “I didn't thoughtmit! I don't understand this!”
“Now I look like an absolute asshole. I fucked you up the ass? Cheeky cunt, you're trying to destroy me. Fucking whore. What is this shit? We built you up from nothing and now you miss your boyfriend? You're through!”
Jeffrey was hysterical. He felt like he was free falling from the ninety-ninth floor. Candy had shamed him in front of the entire world, and he was determined to get rid of the nuisance. Without warning, he instructed Minds to disconnect her from the Vision Pro. He separated her from her virtual image and cut her off the corporate account. He issued a press release, saying that the talent had had a mental breakdown, that she was no longer associated with the company, and that he wished her a full recovery.
Jeffrey Star didn't mind airhead, shallow, stupid starlets as long as they respected and valued the charade. There was no room for rebels. The moment they admitted to the charade, the jig was up. Candy Metal turned out to be a sugar bomb health hazard. The company was forced into damage control mode, and called experts in to deal with the crisis.
Jeffrey and his partner Gabriel Sky thoughtmitted. “Our image is in jeopardy. Holy shit, this is ludicrous! All because that little bitch is losing it.”
Jeffrey tried to relax with an oxygen mask that dropped from the ceiling after identifying his signs of distress.
“I want her out of Creation… she's done enough,” he shouted. “I told her more than once, but she insists on breaking her contract.”
“The whole thing's weird,” his partner puzzled. “I don't really get what’s going on with her.”
“I don't care! That ungrateful bitch, it makes no difference what's causing this. All I want is for you to take care of it, not to lose any clients over it, and not to have my reputation permanently damaged. I'm getting thoughtmissions from all over the world and it's not slowing down. Enough is enough!”
“Consider it done,” his partner said.
***
In the meantime, Candy found herself accounting to her shocked mother. Her family could not believe that she would ruin her career like that.
“Candy, when and where did you say your father raped you?” the devastated mother shouted. “How could you?”
“I signed the contract. I showed it to you and you signed it yourself, and it was there, didn't you read it?”
“No, where was it written?”
“It was part of the deal. Don't you remember Jeffrey saying that I didn't have a good enough story for the audience, so they'd make one up for me?”
“No… your father signed, and then I did, but we didn't read the fine print.”
“I did it for you...”
“I didn't ask you to lie for us!”
The thoughtmission was cut off. Candy could not relay her thought to her parents. “Fuck! Come on, stupid fucking Minds!”
She held her head in her hands and screamed. Re-Minds also would not work, and she needed to remember Ryan now more than anything, to hold him.
Her voice hoarse from screaming, Candy walked to her bedside Dream Maker and yanked out a chocolate bar sprinkled with antidepressants. She chewed long on every bite, finishing one bar and starting on another. She finished five bars like this, trying to relax and suppressing an urge to crush the world in her hands and snap the chip in her head. In the end, she felt a blood substitute-sugar level drop, and pulled the blanket over her head. She activated the night setting in her room and fell asleep with dozens of stars twinkling on her walls and a giant yellow moon hanging on the ceiling.
Come morning, she discovered her digital nightmare was not quite over yet. She felt an overwhelming loneliness. She could not think about or remember anyone she knew. Again, she could not thoughtmit to anyone, and could not answer incoming thoughts. She was a wreck. All her campaigns were canceled, no one wanted to hire her. She could not access her profile.
“What's happening to me, and what am I supposed to live on?” she screamed hysterically at her tending owls after realizing she was cut off from all Minds services, but unable to do anything about it.
***
“You think we might have been too hard on her?” Gabriel thoughtmitted Jeffrey, who was chewing on a vegetarian entrecote steak.
[24]
“I don't want to hear about her,” Jeffrey said and returned to a brain
sex session where he was forcibly pounding Sandy, a chubby brunette who was splayed face down on his office desk. Her dress was torn, her underwear down on her feet, and her nipples crushing against the glass table with every heave. “She can go back to what she was, a failing singer with big dreams.”
“I have a better idea,” said Gabriel. “We can still turn a profit on her, if we only explain it all away as some technical malfunction. It’s a shame to start something new from scratch. We made billions on her this year alone.”
“She's an exploitative bitch!” Jeffrey shouted him down, and penetrated the woman's rump with increased vigor. “She's gone and blasted all her fucked up thoughts, when I was the one who created her!” Sandy started crying in pain.
“You're crossing the line. The act is becoming violent. Cease, or it will be considered rape,” said the system's voice, which did not allow over aggressive brain sex.
After climaxing with a groan of relief, Jeffrey paused to give his breathing a chance to return to its normal rhythm, and poured himself a glass of purifying water.
***
Lucy/Candy was desperate, without recourse. She had nowhere and no one to go to. She could not thoughtmit to anyone.
The digital door of her apartment opened unexpectedly, and through it came two intruders in black uniform.
“Sorry for the inconvenience. We're ordered to evict you and leave all the content of the apartment as it was when you entered.”
“What? You can't take everything away from me… my whole life’s here, all of my things! Who sent you, Jeffrey?”
They did not answer, just stood there with frozen faces.
“Where will I go? What am I going to do? How can you do this?” she asked in a broken voice.
“We're here to evict you. Please, vacate the apartment. It's for your own good.”
“I have nowhere to go to! Please, help me!”
“If you cause any trouble to delay us, we'll be forced to react accordingly.”
Candy just stood there staring at them as they waited for her to clear out.
“Can I at least take my clothes? Parguin?” she asked and looked at him. He was the only one she could clearly remember.
“Clothes, yes. Neopet, no.”
Parguin turned to look in another direction, as if refusing to say goodbye.
“Who’ll take care of him?”
“None of your concern. He’ll receive adequate care and return to Jeffrey. Come on, we're in a hurry.”
She had no time to think. It was no use thinking. She stuffed as many things as she could into a bag, and turned to see if she forgot anything, but there was nothing of value. She did not even have any memories left of the time she was good. She had nothing worth remembering. Maybe it was better to step outside and forget everything, she thought. She wanted no memory of that luxury apartment, none of Jeffrey, and mostly none of herself.
Here's to Nothing
The two men waited with their arms crossed, apprehensive. Candy walked out downcast, and her silhouette disappeared into the night.
Jeffrey wasted no time. Their best technicians were on the job, working to keep Candy's image running even though she was gone. It was not very complicated. Vision Pro created a 3D model that was true to the Candy Metal original. No one could tell the current virtual Candy from the ‘real’ Candy that was there a moment before. The image assimilated her lifestyle, her voice, her preferences, and even her thoughts. She appeared in commercials, live from her apartment or on special events. In fact, there was no need for a flesh and blood Candy, and Creation held all the rights.
Jeffrey arranged for his virtual babe to be interviewed on Great Minds. He even arranged a photo opportunity of her parents holding hands with Candy's virtual image and giving her support while she confessed her Re-Minds addiction. They talked about how a memory overdose had knocked her out of her senses and made her thoughtmit that ‘nonsense.’ Her virtual image apologized to the audience, who were thrilled and applauded the ‘home interview,’ which was assembled by programmers to get the digital experience the company was looking for.
Life went on, and Jeffrey was content. He had extended Candy's shelf life, and could use her image for as long as it pleased him. The plan worked, and her followers carried her through. Public forgiveness had made her a hero. Candy was more famous, loved and human than she ever was.
***
Meanwhile, flesh and blood Candy was walking aimlessly in the streets, unaware of the growing fame her likeness was enjoying. She watched cars flying above her now and then. She wanted to scream, but her thoughts were mute. She was wasting away. Even the stray Neverminds who were hanging around one of the shelters seemed more useful than her. She shared her wanderings with abandoned cats and dogs. These organic animals had lost their appeal, and had been put out onto the streets by their previous owners who now favored neopets. Minds users who passed by tended to ignore them. She stooped down in her misery to pet an abandoned dog and cried.
Unexpectedly, she remembered discussing with Jeffrey the image she was going to adopt. She told him, “But I want to be me.”
“You're not interesting enough,” he said. “It's time for who you were to go in the trash and welcome the new Candy. Don't look so offended, it's for your own good.”
She kept walking, embarrassed that no one recognized her without the Vision Pro and all the other cosmetic enhancers. When she got sick of walking, she stopped and looked around. She tilted her head up to look at the top floor windows. What was she after all this time, if not a better life for her parents, a promising horizon to look forward to? She wiped her tears with the cuff of her sleeve, tired of crying like that. Her vision was blurred and a heaviness set in her.
She walked toward the shelter she passed by before. It was already dark. The wind whistled in her ears and swayed the trees. The intense cold froze her cheeks, but she did not care. Suddenly she was running, on and on, like her life depended on it.
She was worried her spirit would break if she stopped.
“What will happen to us after we die?” she asked Ryan once when they finished a run together.
“Nothing,” he answered and collapsed on the grass.
“Nothing?” she implored and flopped down next to him, leaning on his shoulder.
“What do you want to happen?”
“Dunno, maybe nothing really,” she laughed, got up and helped him up.
They continued to run together, and stopped all the time to kiss and grope.
“Let's hear it for nothing!” he shouted at the top of his lungs, his arms spread up and out, and they exploded together in laughter.
“For nothing!” she shouted after him.
She had never considered already becoming nothing in her lifetime.
8
Eternal Sunshine of the Hollow Mind
One by one, all the brilliant guests were piling into Solly Grey's apartment to celebrate crossing the remarkable one billion user mark, accomplished after only several months of activity. Outside was completely dark, but the guests were treated to an otherworldly sight. The network was using their minds to broadcast the Eternal Sunset Mindsphere: a view of a sky blue ocean lapping on an icy shore, and a pink-orange-yellow sun nearly clearing the horizon.
Above their heads flew pandemoniums of white digital panda-parrots and koala-parrots. The small waiters zooming between the guests were a cross between a penguin and an orca - enlarged clones of Christoph's Orcuin. The guests were all over these plump waiters, carrying their trays full of vitamin rich caviar, algae delicacies, odd sorts of sea foods, glasses of fine martinette, purifying cocktails and other treats for the soul. The digital creatures were ever poised at the guests' disposal – kind, quiet and disciplined.
Among the guests were Christoph Müller, the financial backer of Minds, and Fabian Sean Rockefeller, his right hand man and the software evangelist who coordinated the efforts of hundreds of programmers. The two took up position in the corner of the room wit
h Fabian's neopet, Alaska the seal pup, who crawled beside him and watched the guests playing an ice-breaking mind game called Intuition. The gameplay called for one guest to focus his or her attention on another guest, and transmit a certain intuition regarding the person's past, life experience, personality traits or any other attribute. If the intuition was correct, and the recipient approved the contact request on the retinal menu, the two faced each other for a heated revelation of minds.
“Are you okay being here?” Fabian asked Christoph, slightly worried.
“No one knows who we are anyway,” he whispered.
In private igloos set up especially for the event, a more intimate kind of activity was going on. The participants, or most of them, were coupled up and transmitting full sensory Dream Sex feeds to approved users who were permitted to observe everything that went on without getting physically involved. The event was obviously controlled, so that no one could transmit outside what happened inside the igloos.
Even though it was set to be a private event, Christoph and Fabian chose to stay out of the festivities and played the role of restrained soldiers, mindful of their duties. The two, dressed in form-fitting suits, were not there for the fun. The people at Minds made sure to disable any attempt to capture their image, let alone leak it to the world outside.
The high point of the event was a game of survival, played inside a vast enclosure with participants shooting scorching balls of digital fire at each other. They looked like soldiers, armored and armed to the teeth with top notch weaponry, in a first person shooter that took place entirely inside their minds.
“This is brilliant,” Christoph said enthusiastically and positioned himself behind a wall, armed with a virtual laser pistol, making plans to vanquish all his opponents until he was the last one standing, the almighty victor. And indeed, one by one, all of Christoph's men fell, and he was left alone with Fabian in a head to head face off. It turned into a grueling battle of minds with a gathering audience of spectators.
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