Damaged But Not Broken

by Hearts Collective

  Shit. She’s gonna freak if she doesn’t know we're scheduled to play next.

  I listen to one more song and then force myself to head back to the guys. I can’t help thinking about how damn sexy she is, especially when she’s singing.

  Twenty minutes later, Ben, Ryan and I are heading through the halls to backstage. I can still hear clapping for Paige, and then she appears like a vision, just before us.

  I see the shock register across her face.

  “Blake!” she exclaims, her blue eyes wide and confused. “What are you doing here?”

  I give her an apologetic grin. “We’re up next.”

  She looks dumbfounded back and forth between the guys and me. Ryan flashes her a smile, but she’s too stunned to respond.

  “I had no idea,” I add, “I just realized you were playing a few minutes ago.”

  “Blake, let’s go,” Ben says, pushing me forward, looking between Paige and I.

  She nods, her face still surprised. “Right.”

  The guys hurry ahead of me, and I grab Paige’s wrist.

  Her eyes flash and she looks at me with hurt.

  “What?” she demands.

  I’m not sure what I’m doing. “I’m sorry,” I murmur, releasing her. “I’ll see you around.” It sounds silly, but it’s all I can manage.

  “See you,” she says softly, and then she disappears down the hallway.

  We play our set, and the audience seems more excited than normal. Maybe it’s because Paige has riled them up. She’s nowhere to be seen when we finish, but Kenny grabs us as we come off stage.

  “Great news boys!” he booms, pulling us towards the table. “The tour is official! Fifteen cities and you leave in three weeks! You open in Memphis!”

  “No shit!” Ben exclaims, high-fiving Ryan.

  I finally get a grip and I whoop with excitement.

  “That’s fantastic!” I yell.

  Kenny motions to a waitress, who brings us three beers. Kenny is nursing his tonic water, and the four of us toast.

  “Becky will have details at the start of next week, but start preparing. The tour will last about a month.”

  “Do we have an opening act yet?” Ryan asks after nearly downing his beer.

  “Not yet, but I’m working on it,” Kenny says. “And afterwards, I really want to get you guys in the studio to record an album.”

  Ben whistles. “Holy shit.”

  “I know,” Kenny grins, “Congrats!” He looks up and I look too. Paige is making her way across the bar, looking slightly uncomfortable and out of place.

  “Excuse me,” Kenny says, getting up and making his way towards Paige.

  He puts his arm around her shoulder and starts leading her towards our table. Once Paige sees us, she stops and whispers something to her father. He shakes her head, and guides her along.

  “Paige, I know you know Ryan and Blake, but this is Ben, the other member of Rust.”

  Paige smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes and she keeps stealing glances at me. “Nice to meet you,” she says kindly.

  “Paige is my daughter,” Kenny explains, and I see Ben make the connection. He gives me a quick look and then smiles at Paige.

  “Pleasure is all mine,” he says smoothly, shaking Paige’s hand.

  “I was just telling these guys that I’ve booked them a tour,” Kenny tells Paige.

  “Wow, a tour. Congratulations. That’s really exciting.” She looks down before I can catch her eye.

  “If you’ll excuse me, I’m really tired,” she says, and she hurries away.

  Kenny, Ben, and Ryan stare after Paige, and I hurry up from the table.

  “Excuse me,” I say, rushing after her.

  I catch her just out of sight of our table, and slightly hidden from view by the exit.

  “Paige.”

  She turns around, she seems relieved at first and then instantly frustrated.

  “What are we doing Blake?” she demands, “Why are you following me?”

  Why am I following her? Because I can’t stand things like this.

  “Because it can’t be this way, Paige. We have to find a way to be friends somehow. This is too awkward. Too weird.”

  Paige’s face hardens. “That’s not what your fiancé said,” she spits.

  I’m confused because I know that Savannah wants me to do have nothing to do with Paige, and honestly, I could care less at this moment. But how the hell does Paige know any of this?

  “What do you mean?” I ask slowly.

  Paige shakes her head. “It’s not my place to say anything.” She stops. “But you can tell her she better not set foot on my dad’s property again,” she blurts out.

  “Wait. What?”

  Paige shakes her head. “I promised myself that I wasn’t going to say anything to you.”

  “Did Savannah come to your house?”

  I can tell Paige is wrestling with the answer and then she gives up.

  “Yes. She was waiting for me when I came home Monday afternoon. She basically told me to stay the hell away from you and threatened me with her powerful family. I told her to get the hell off my property.” Paige raises her chin with indignation.

  “What the fuck!” I hiss, seeing red. It was one thing for Savannah to give me a load of shit. It was an entirely different thing to have her showing up at Paige’s house, telling her to keep away and making threats.

  I was sick.

  “What else did she say?” I ask through gritted teeth.

  Paige shrugs. “That was pretty much it. She said she saw through me and that she didn’t trust me.”

  I pound my fist against the wall and Paige jumps with fright.

  “I told her that I am not the kind of woman who goes around stealing other people’s fiancés.” She levels me with her gaze. “And I’m not, Blake,” she says in a steely voice. “No matter what I feel for you, I will not pursue you. I will not act on any of my feelings for you. Do you understand?” She’s practically shaking at this point and it makes me want to pull her into my arms.

  “Of course, Paige,” I murmur, “I know that.”

  “I just want to be clear. And yes, I do want to be your friend, and I will just have to deal with my feelings, but I don’t really know how we can go about doing that when Savannah is being a –” she trails off, but I know what she wants to say.

  Bitch.

  “Right now, I don’t care. We have a history, and I can be friends with whoever I damn well please. I’m not going to have her showing up in your driveway terrorizing you.”

  “Well, it wasn’t exactly terrorizing-’’

  “You know what I mean. We are friends, end of story.”

  “And you’re not bothered by my feelings for you? You don’t think this is going to get in the way of our friendship?” Her blue eyes are wide and open, trusting whatever my answer may be. And in that moment, I want to be more than friends. I want to push Paige up against the wall and kiss her like she’s never been kissed. I want to tell Savannah to fuck off and that we’re through.

  Instead, I nod. “We’ll deal with it,” I manage to say, because she isn’t the only one struggling with feelings here. We’re foolish and stupid, but we somehow can’t leave one another alone.

  The air between us is charged and the longer we go without speaking, the more intense the feeling becomes.

  “I really should go,” she says softly.

  I don’t want to see her leave, but I don’t really know what to do otherwise. Kenny and the guys are just out of sight and if we’re gone for too long it will seem strange.

  “How about a friendly lunch date next week?” I ask.

  Paige grins ear to ear – that smile that I’ve seen so many times and I’ve found myself thinking of more often than I like.

  “Sure, that would be great. How does Tuesday sound? We can hang out at my dad’s again.”

  “Sounds fun.”

  There's an awkward silence between us, we’re both not s
ure what else to say, and Paige pushes open the door to leave.

  “Tell my daddy I’m waiting in the car, okay?”

  I nod and watch her walk out of the club. I make my way back to the table and nothing seems amiss.

  “Paige is real beat,” I say to Kenny, “she told me she’s going to wait in the car.”

  “No problem,” he says, standing up and plunking two twenties down – much more than the cost of our beers. “You boys celebrate some more without me, you hear? We’ll get to work on Monday.”

  We thank him again as he makes his way out of the bar.

  Ben raises his eyebrows and looks at me. “Isn’t Kenny’s daughter the one you dated back in the day?”

  “That’s the one,” Ryan answers for me, “but don’t get any ideas because I already started laying the groundwork last week.”

  “Yeah, well we’ll just see about that,” Ben says, his eyes gleaming at the challenge, “Too bad Blake here can’t participate. I bet he’s wishing he could get back in on that action.”

  Ryan guffaws. “Please. Blake here is probably getting laid all the time by Savannah. I doubt he has two minutes to even think about Paige. Right?”

  I laugh weakly and make some lame comment about Savannah being a sex fiend. I know Ben and Ryan, and who knows how many other guys, envy me. Because even though Savannah is a handful, she’s hot as fuck and straight oozes sex appeal.

  We hang out for another couple hours, but I don’t remember too much of our conversation. I don’t drink any more beer, and by the time I get home, Savannah is curled up on the couch in her soft pink pajamas, sound asleep.

  Some infomercial is playing, and I flip the TV off. I stop for a minute and stare down at her. She looks so sweet and harmless in her sleep, and I’ve never really understood the need for her to wear all the makeup she wears. She looks softer and prettier without it.

  Sighing, I pick her up and carry her back to the bedroom. She mumbles against my chest, and I lay her down on her side of the bed. I know I should crawl into bed next to her, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I keep thinking of how she showed up unannounced at Kenny’s house and blasted Paige.

  I imagine an unknown car in Paige’s driveway scared the shit out of her. She’s doing a pretty good job so far of hiding her demons, but from careful observation I can tell that Paige is jumpy now by nature; she always seems to be on alert.

  Silently, I pull off my shoes, jeans and shirt. Wearing only my boxers, I make my way into the living room and sprawl across the couch. I fall asleep thinking about our upcoming tour and about Paige. I have a dream that the band is on tour and Paige comes out to visit us in one of the cities...

  Paige finds her way to my hotel room and knocks on the door. I open the door, surprised to see her there, and she walks into the room without saying a word.

  Wordlessly, I watch as Paige sets her guitar down, unhooks her black sweater and tosses it in a chair. Slowly, she reaches behind her and I realize she’s pulling down the zipper of her dress. She pulls down one strap at a time, until the dress slides to her hips, revealing her pink bra. She wiggles out of the dress and she’s standing before me in a matching bra and panties set, her body even more beautiful than I remember.

  My jaw about hits the floor and she gives me a sexy smile as she unhooks her bra and lets her big beautiful tits fall free.

  They bounce slightly against her chest as they fall out of her lacy bra. I gulp hungrily.

  Leaving only her panties on she walks towards me and gently pushes me back on the bed. I don’t resist as she unzips my pants and pulls them down my legs. She follows with my boxers, and neither one of us is surprised to see that I’m thick and hard for her.

  Still not speaking, Paige grasps me in her hands and I groan. Her grip is tight and firm. She lowers her lips to me and takes me into her mouth, pushing me deep into the back of her throat. I groan again and let the pleasure wash over me. It feels so fucking good, and I feel myself harden even more inside her warm mouth.

  She works me over, moving up and down my shaft until I’m delirious with pleasure.

  I groan again, her name just on my lips...

  And then my eyes fly open.

  I’m disoriented, but the pleasure is real.

  Daylight fills the room, and I’m still lying on the couch, but Savannah is crouched between my legs, sucking me off like her life depends on it.

  “What the hell?” I say angrily, trying to push her off me.

  “Hiya sugar,” she purrs, before taking me deep into her mouth again. “Thought you might like a little morning wakeup call before I left for work.”

  I look more closely and see that Savannah is primped and ready for work, and she’s wearing a sheer black bra, no panties and a garter belt and stockings.

  “I’m not in the mood, Savannah,” I growl, trying to push her off me.

  “Well I am,” she pouts. And before I can move again, she pulls her mouth off me, and scoots higher before sinking down on me.

  “Argh!” I groan. Savannah is wet and ready, clearly having planned this morning riding session.

  “Don’t fight it baby,” she murmurs, bucking her hips against me, knowing how to get us both off. “This is what we both need.”

  When she’s through with me and we’ve both climaxed, she climbs off and sashays away. She turns back around just before she reaches the bedroom.

  “Now you’ll be thinking about me all day,’’ she smirks.

  Hardly.

  TEN

  Paige

  Staying Focused

  Just as I had hoped, I don’t have much time to think about Blake. Now that I have a schedule of my gigs from Becky, I spend a lot more time preparing and writing new music. Of course, I haven’t forgotten about my lunch date with Blake on Tuesday, but at least it’s not consuming my mind.

  I play another gig on Saturday night and another on Monday night. Both are incredibly successful, and I’ve had a handful of people ask if I have an album out or any singles.

  My daddy's come along to all the gigs so far, and now I’m starting to feel silly that I have a chaperone. I know he likes to see me play, but I understand he has a business to attend to, and better things to do with his time. I need to suck it up and start going by myself.

  I haven’t spoken to my mom in a bit, which has been partly intentional, but when I wake up Tuesday morning, I decide it’s a good time to call.

  “Hey Momma,” I say when she answers the phone.

  “Paige, honey! How are you? I’ve hardly heard from you. Is everything okay?” I cringe when I hear the worry in her voice.

  I should have done a better job keeping in touch over the past month or so.

  “I’m doing well. I’m sorry I’ve been so lousy with keeping in touch. I’ve been really busy and Daddy has been great about helping me get settled in.”

  “I’m glad to hear it.” She pauses for a second. “How is everything else?” she asks, and I know she means how am I handling being back in Nashville.

  “It’s alright,” I say slowly, “You know, once I finally started going out a bit, it wasn’t that bad.”

  “Are you spending time with any of your old friends?” I hear the hope in her voice. She always hated how I had no friends in Bristol.

  “Momma, no one reaches out to me. The only person I’ve seen is Blake.”

  “Blake Evans? Goodness it's been a while. How is he?”

  I take a deep breath. I want to be careful what I tell my mom here. “He’s doing real well. He is actually a musician, too. Turns out Daddy manages his band. We’ve hung out a few times, but it’s a little complicated.”

  “Complicated how?” My momma’s voice as that edge which means she knows I’m not telling her everything.

  “Well, he’s engaged.”

  “Hmm. That sounds nice. Have you met his fiancé?”

  And then I find myself spilling the whole story to Momma, telling her about how there is a weird attraction between us s
till, but I mostly think it’s me, and how his fiancé is a nasty woman who showed up at the house to threaten me and accuse me of trying to steal her man.

  “Oh, Paige,” my mom says when I’m through. “You need to be careful. Even if it’s platonic, you and Blake have a history. You can’t go messing with his life that way.”

  “I’m not messing, Momma! We both want to be friends!”

  “But you just told me you still have feelings for him.”

  “I can’t help it!”

  “Paige, I would love nothing more than for you to meet a wonderful man who makes you feel safe and loved. And if Blake were single, maybe he would be that man. But he is taken, honey. And obviously his fiancé is feeling threatened, bitch or no bitch. That is only going to bring you heartache and drama and those are two things you don’t want as you adjust to this new life of yours.”

  She’s right of course, but I don’t want to hear it.

  I change the subject to my new calendar of gigs, and my mom slowly relents and promises to come down one weekend to hear me sing. We don’t bring up Blake again, but I know she wants to talk more. Maybe calling her wasn’t the best idea.

  By the time I hang up, I need to rush to get ready for Blake’s visit. I take a quick shower and put on a cute dress, and then hurry off to the main kitchen. I stocked the fridge the day before and I start laying everything out on the island in the kitchen.

  This time Blake doesn’t even knock on the door, but instead pushes it open.

  “Hello?” He says, poking his head through the door.

  “Hey! Come on in.”

  He comes into the kitchen; his hair perfectly messed up, wearing jeans and an old t-shirt.

  “I brought some snacks,” he says, holding out two bags of potato chips.

  “Perfect. I was just laying out fixins’ for sandwiches. Help yourself.”

  Blake picks up a plate and starts building a sandwich and I do the same.

  “Want to eat out on the patio again?” I ask.

  “Sure. It was nice out there.”

  We take our lunches and head out back.

  We steer the conversation clear of Savannah and instead talk about our music. Blake and the band are busy getting ready for their tour, and I can tell he’s really stoked. The afternoon stretches on and during an unusual lull in our conversation, Blake gazes longingly at the pool.