by Karen Lynn
She set two cups of coffee on the table and waited with baited breath.
“I'll come back after work to see Alex every day…”
“What are you talking about? Are you moving out?” Why didn’t I check the truck for his bags?
Still unable to avoid her eyes and not sure how to handle it, he took her fragile hands in his, holding them tight. “Kristen, its better if we spend some time apart. Just to see how it goes.”
Her full lips appeared even more inviting as they quivered, making it almost impossible to resist. And like he feared, it kept getting harder. When a soft, helpless sound escaped those lips, he couldn't stop himself from caressing her hair.
“I don't have to see anything Jake, I know…” The tears prevented her from finishing.
His fingers brushed her cheeks, trying to wipe them away.
“That's what you say now, but I'm not sure you mean it, Kris. What you did, how you feel about him… I need time to get over it.” It was his most valiant effort to be strong and determined.
Her sobs grew louder, more heart wrenching.
“I'll come by every day, I'll help you with money. It'll be just a few days. You know where I am.”
“No, I don't want that Jake. Where will you stay, how far away?” She whimpered between convulsive sobs and sniffles.
Maybe she’s finally giving in. It would help since I am starting to doubt my decision. In an effort to focus, he rubbed his forehead needing to relieve the pressure.
They sat in silence for a couple of minutes listening to Alex's sporadic gurgling noises. Giving Jake a dejected pout, she left the room to check on him. He told himself not to pay attention, to ignore it all, but couldn’t tune out her sweet voice as it trickled out of the bedroom. When she returned with Alex in her arms, he took a deep sigh.
“Here's daddy.”
The cheerfulness in her voice failed to convince him and in an instant, Alex lay cuddled in his arms.
She’s planning to break my heart and doing a great job.
He gazed at his son, stressing. Can he sense the turmoil?
“Where did you say you were staying?” A hint of moisture still shone in her eyes as she stared at him.
I can’t let her play me like this. He shifted around in his chair to face her.
“At Henry's restaurant. He has a studio upstairs. Kris, come on be reasonable.”
“Reasonable? You're the one being unreasonable. I thought you weren't running from your problems anymore.” Her eyes were innocent and wide as they sank into him.
Once again, she surprised him. Was he really running, or doing what was right? Suddenly drained of energy, he exhaled and handed Alex back to her.
“I'll be back after work. We can have dinner and talk. I'll bring something from the restaurant.” He was already on his feet when she returned from putting the baby down.
She didn't want to beg him—it wasn't something she excelled at or enjoyed. But the threat of being alone, especially after the incident with Logan, his continual pursuit and looming imprisonment, all came crashing down at once, destroying her willpower. Sometimes things just had to be done.
“Jake please, at least stay here tonight then if you still feel this way in the morning…” Her arms fastened around his waist entrapping him. She stood on her toes straining for his face.
“Okay Kristen, we'll see. I'll text you later.” He shook his head wearily, waiting for her to release him. Seeing it wasn't happening, he lifted her up, kissing her. Her arms traveled upward, encircling his neck. “Come on baby, please. I'm late already.”
When she eventually relented, he ruffled her hair, letting his eyes roam her from head to toe one last time before he entered the truck. Despite how much he battled looking back at the house, he was compelled to. The image of her face in the window haunted him as he sped away.
* * *
The afternoon was too glorious to stay inside obsessing about Jake, or re-living the horrifying encounter with Nick. Most of all, a reprieve from Logan’s persistent nagging promised a welcome distraction. When Alicia invited her to lunch, she didn’t think twice, except about bringing the baby.
Jake will be even more upset, but since he’s over protective and threatening to leave me anyway, why should I care? It really isn't up to him anymore.
They strolled along A1A, enjoying the 85-degree weather and the warmth of the sun on their bare skin. Alex fell asleep the minute he hit the car seat and still dozed in his stroller. After a few minutes Kristen stopped to tuck his little blue blanket tighter around him and looked around her. The damp sand sparkled like diamonds before her, beckoning. She didn’t have to say a word. Alicia lifted the baby into her arms. With a relieved sigh, Kristen stepped out her sandals and sprinted into the surf. The squawking of seagulls mingled with the laughter of bathers soaking in the aquamarine sea filled her with an unusual sense of serenity. Until she peeked up at the sky, so clear, pure, blue and Logan’s face made a surprise visit, buckling her knees.
Why is peace so unattainable?
Shaking her head to dispel the image she dashed across the sand sinking to her knees next to Alex.
“Are you okay?” Alicia plucked off her sunglasses, to squint at her. Kristen gave her a meager nod. “Let’s find a place. I’m starving suddenly.” Anxious to change the subject, she offered some suggestions for lunch venues. By the time they made a decision it wasn’t an accident that The Red Sun Cafe was in the opposite direction. The mere thought of walking past it, made her skin crawl.
They settled on the first café they came upon—just her luck, another favorite. How could it be with so many places on the beach to choose from? As the brief feeling of bliss was replaced by melancholy, they found a shady table hidden in a corner. But she couldn’t hide from the memories.
An unexpected text from Steven Joseph brought the glow back to her face.
“Good news?” Alicia asked, setting down her menu.
“My attorney in New York said he’s brought in someone to help with the divorce. They want to get Logan served before he goes to prison.”
“That's great! So why do you sound so weird?”
Kristen lifted Alex onto her lap and began feeding him. It was a good question; one she couldn’t provide an honest answer for. Alicia sat back, her thick dark curls shimmering in the sun, her pretty, tanned face enthusiastic and vibrant.
Kristen acknowledged her with a sad smile, then sighed. “I guess I wanted him to be settled in at prison first. It sounds ridiculous, I know. How can anyone get used to being locked in a cage?”
“I'm sure Jake will be thrilled.” Alicia returned the smile.
Why hadn't that crossed her mind? Her smile died. “If I see him to tell him, maybe...”
The waitress brought their drinks and took the lunch orders, bringing a temporary pause to their conversation. Kristen burped Alex, felt his diaper to see how he was doing, and returned him to the stroller. Lost in thought, her sights roamed to the street, taking in the array of tourists and locals wandering by. When she turned back, something in Alicia's eyes and the way her body clamped up chilled her to the bone. Before she could open her mouth, she heard his voice behind her.
“Krissy! You finally came back to life!”
Her hands tightened instinctively on the stroller. Then she froze. She didn't have to see his face to know who it was. “Logan, what the hell do you want?”
He bent down next to her snickering. “Aw shit! He still looks the same. Too bad he doesn't look anything like you.”
Without tilting her head, her eyes flashed upon him. “Get lost Logan, before I call the manager!”
Alicia could see she was about to have a meltdown. “Logan, can’t you tell she doesn't want to talk to you? Are you blind or just deaf?” Standing up, Alicia held onto the table, her contempt uncontrollable.
Logan couldn’t suppress the heat rising to his face. “Who the fuck asked you?”
“Don’t talk to her like that!” Kristen’s
eyes were on fire. Alicia shot a stunned look at her.
Unfazed, Logan fluffed it off with a broad grin. “What—I'm just talking to my lovely wife. What’s wrong with that?”
A moment later he sat next to Kristen, his expression changing to one of sincere compassion. Alicia grunted, returning to her seat after Kristen gave a reassuring nod.
We’re out in public, in a high traffic area. What could he possibly do? Unconvinced, Kristen remained on high alert, refusing to lift her protective shield from the baby.
After some hesitation, she found the courage to look him square in the eyes, astonished to discover the arrogance gone. Logan smiled, certain her relaxed body ensured her surrender. Satisfied, he placed his hand on hers. Letting out a loud gasp, she pried it away.
The sparkle in his eyes intensified as he slid closer to her ear, then died away as he whispered, “I know why you've been avoiding me, Krissy. I told you I was sorry. I got too wasted. It was a big mistake.”
“I didn’t even bother to read your texts, Logan.”
His shudder vibrated into her body, but she continued ignoring those eyes that tore into her flesh and the lump in her throat that threatened to choke her. With one quick jerk of her head, she moved back, before his scent became intoxicating. This time nothing he will do or say is going to affect me and make me forgive him!
“Yes, it was a big mistake! But I don't want to talk about it now. What are you doing here anyway?” Peeking over at Alicia’s sickened face, she hoped she wouldn’t lose control and vomit all over the table.
The waitress brought their salads and asked if Logan would be joining them. Her tight grip on the table slackened when he declined.
“I just finished a business meeting and was about to leave when I spotted you. It must be my lucky day. Let me make it up to you while I can.”
Repulsed, she responded by frowning. Is this meeting really just a coincidence? Or is there no limit to his madness? Since the roofie incident she couldn’t stop fretting over whether or not he was a co-conspirator. Either way, the mere fact he considered Nick a friend, sickened her.
“Have you spoken to the lawyer?” Logan sat back, his eyes never leaving he face.
She flinched, taken off guard. Which one is he talking about? He doesn’t know about the divorce yet, so it must be Micky.
“He left me a message about your plea hearing next week. You accepted it then?” Even though she knew he had, she needed to hear it from his mouth.
Although he tried to hide it, her words hit a nerve, bringing a twitch to his face. She picked up on it and subconsciously brought her hand to her chest, unnerved by the stabbing twinge it provoked.
“Yep. Guess I'll be going in pretty soon, but more than likely, not for long.”
A dark shadow fell over his face as he leaned over to press his lips to her cheek. Sensing her body tautening he purposely held them there longer than necessary, while she held her breath. Finally breaking contact, he gave her a seductive look, glanced at Alex, and started strolling away.
“Let's talk Krissy, we don't have much time.” Against her will, she tipped her head to watch him leave, disregarding the glare of Alicia’s combative eyes.
Kristen numbly whisked away a lock of hair that had fallen across her face. They finished their food in silence, the waiter cleared the table and strode off. Alicia cleared her throat, eyeballing Kristen once again.
“I’m going to tell Steven to have the divorce expedited.”
For a minute the impulsive decision stunned her as much as it did Alicia, but her determination was evident and there was no going back. Once Jake saw a copy, hopefully he’d be convinced of her love for him. Then she could lure him back home.
* * *
The damper Logan put on the afternoon, compelled them to cut it short right after lunch. Every time she allowed Logan into her head, she wanted to kill herself. Or better yet, him, for introducing Nick and all the ensuing misery into her life. For that horrible night in New York that she longed to forget and everything else he lured her into. But the most powerful reason of all, for making her fall in love with him in the first place.
Thank God, he’ll be locked up and out of my life. Now all I have to do is snuff out my feelings for him permanently, get Jake back and everything will be perfect.
By the time they returned to the house and put Alex down, the uneasiness had let up. The time was ripe for Kristen to get everything off of her chest and Alicia wasn’t willing to leave until she did.
“What did he do this time Kris? I have a feeling it's really bad.”
Kristen pondered her question. How much should I reveal? More criticism and judgment will send me over the edge.
But once she started, every detail came pouring out of her like raging rapids. Muted by revulsion and disbelief, Alicia’s mouth hung open. The intensity of her reaction dispirited Kristen even more.
“You need to call an attorney and bring charges against that monster, Kris! He was planning to drug and rape you, and Logan helped him!”
“I'm not sure Logan planned it, Alicia. I’m not making excuses for him, but he was really drunk out of his mind this time.” Alicia’s disgusted grunt, made it even harder to look her in the eye.
“Come on Kris! Isn’t he always? You already told me it’s the second time, at least with Nick! Put that motherfucker away once and for all!”
“I can't do that.” Glancing up, she saw the fury in Alicia’s eyes and quickly looked away. “You don't understand, if Jake finds out he’ll go after both of them, most likely kill them and end up in jail. Or what if they kill him? I chose to be there with Logan. I truly doubt they would charge them with conspiring to drug and rape me.”
“But what about what Nick did in Brooklyn? I don’t get it.”
What a surprise, who does? “I just can’t do it Alicia. I am not going to dig up the past and relive all that pain after all this time. I was living in another world back then. The case would drag me and Jake through the mud, probably for nothing. I’m not going to put him through that.”
“I get it, okay. But what about Logan? Don't tell me you don't want him to get a longer sentence at least. He's a certified dick. Why can't you see that? You're about to fuck up everything with Jake for a certified dick! Unbelievable!”
The scenario was all too familiar and irritating to Kristen. She'd given up hope long ago that anyone would understand her attachment to Logan. Still it irked her big time to be constantly bombarded with negative criticism. And revealing the truth about their bond was out of the question.
“It's very complicated.” At the end of her rope, she needed to end the conversation before she said something she regretted.
But Alicia was on a roll, and didn't back down.
“Everything is with you, Kris, that's what makes you so fascinating to me. Well one thing anyway.” A momentary devious twinkle in her eyes vanished into bitterness. “But I don't get what you see in Logan. It’s not like he’s the only sexy, rich guy around. Get the damn settlement and get rid of him! It drives me nuts to see you melting over him. If it was me, I would've castrated him by now! The next time you just have to fuck him, grab the scissor afterward and cut it off. Problem solved. Then I'll be really proud of you.”
Despite herself, Kristen burst out laughing.
“Too much blood. I couldn't stand it!” As they roared with laughter close to tears, the front door creaked open. They were so engrossed and basking in the sudden light atmosphere, they didn't notice Jake fixed in the doorway, shopping bags in hand.
Kristen was the first to sense him and whirled around, her eyes wide.
“Jake! You're early.” She rose with a quick glance at Alicia, who hunched over stifling her laughter. Jake stayed in place, an uncomfortable look spreading across his face. Aware she had to act fast, she rushed to him and threw her arms around his waist. The tension in his body was undeniable.
“I came by at lunch time but you were out. Where'd you go with the baby th
is time?” Stone faced, he released himself from her embrace, leaving her gaping as he sauntered off to the kitchen with the bags. Determined not to give up, she stalked him.
“That smells delicious!” Alicia called out from the living room.
“It's from Henry's. You’re welcome to stay for dinner if you want.” Out of the corner of his eye he spied on Kristen, desperate to figure out what she was up to. At least she was having fun with Alicia, not Logan for a change.
He never heard Alicia approaching, but there she was right in his face.
“Oh no, no. Thanks, we just had lunch a while ago. I really have to go anyway.” Alicia flicked her hand along his arm and breezed by to join Kristen, who slumped against a wall, watching. After brushing Kristen’s cheek with a kiss and whispering in her ear, she was gone.
“What did you bring? It smells so good” Before he could answer or reject her, she flopped onto his lap and began nuzzling his neck.
“Just some Cuban food. But you already ate.”
His mopey face encouraged her.
“I'm so happy you're here.” She snuggled closer. He didn't budge. “I'll be hungry again, soon don't worry.” She persisted, her eyes wide and innocent as she gazed up at him.
“I thought we agreed not to go too far with the baby for at least a month.” His mouth hardened into a firm line, his eyes woeful.
“I know, but it was so beautiful outside and we didn't go that far. Plus, we sat outside far away from everyone.” She worked hard at being cheerful against his gloominess. It didn't seem to be working. Not allowing it to dissuade her, she got on her knees, reaching up to kiss his face. “Are you mad at me?”
“No. I was just upset when you weren't here earlier.” Without warning the tension in his body dissipated, his eyes softening. Cupping her face, he kissed her with increasing passion. Reluctantly breaking from her lips, he studied her face. “I missed you.”