by Claire Adams
By dinner time, I was feeling restless and was dreading spending the night alone, so I showered, pulled on jeans and a T-shirt, and headed over to The Lucky Clover for a drink. I turned on my phone to call Tony and saw the text that Emily had sent me the day before. I’d ignored it when it first showed up, and now I hesitated for a moment, then deleted the message before I texted Tony and asked him to meet me for a drink.
The bar was pretty empty when I arrived, and I was surprised to see KO back behind the bar.
“Where you been, lady?” I asked, as I shed my coat and sat down on a stool.
“Away,” she replied with a smile. “What’ll it be, big guy?”
“Give me a whiskey and a draft,” I said, pulling out my wallet and tossing a 20 onto the bar.
“Going straight to the hard stuff, eh?” she laughed, as she took the bill and set it on the register before she poured my shot.
“Just need to relax a little,” I said, as I pulled the glass of amber liquid toward me and stared into it as she drew me a beer.
“I heard about your daughter,” she nodded, setting the foaming glass in front of me. “I’m glad she got home safely.”
“Yeah, well, that might not be the end of it,” I said glumly. I knew Emily was living at KO’s house, and that if the bartender was back, then she had surely heard about what had happened.
“So, what’s going on?” she asked, as she turned on the sink beneath the bar and poured soap into one side. When I didn’t say anything, she shrugged and began washing dishes without a word. When one of the old guys at the end of the bar signaled her for another round, she turned off the water and walked to the end of the bar.
“It’s all fucked up,” I said quietly, when she returned from taking care of the other guys.
“What’s fucked up?” she asked, without looking at me.
“My ex-wife has filed a petition with the court to get sole custody of my daughter,” I said, as I lifted the whiskey and quickly tossed it back. “She thinks I’m an irresponsible parent, and I’m beginning to wonder if she’s right.”
“That’s bullshit,” KO said matter-of-factly.
“Yeah, well, I didn’t know where my daughter was for almost 24 hours,” I shrugged. “So, if the shoe fits…”
“Look, I know you blame Emily for a lot of this,” KO said, looking straight at me. “And she’s feeling awful about what’s happened, but you need to talk to her, man.”
“I’m not sure there’s a lot to talk about,” I said flatly. “She didn’t tell me that my daughter had returned. That’s a breach of trust.”
“You’re such an asshole,” KO said, shaking her head. “You’re going to blame Emily for the trouble you have with your wife simply because she was caught between trying to make sure your daughter didn’t take off running again and making a call to you?”
“She’s an adult! She should have acted responsibly!” I said, raising my voice as I felt the anger rising inside me.
“Don’t fucking yell at me, man,” KO warned. “I’m just saying that maybe you need to take a good look at your own responsibility in the matter before you point the finger at someone who was caught between a rock and a hard place. You know that Remy met up with Em at your house earlier this week and was exceptionally rude to her, right?”
“She did? She was?” I said, stunned that Emily hadn’t said anything about it to me.
“Yeah, Remy treated Em the way Em’s mother treats her,” KO nodded. “All manners and nice, but underneath it she just tore her to bits.”
I said nothing as I downed my beer in three swallows and tapped the bar for another round. KO refilled my glasses and stood silently waiting for an answer.
“Are you saying this is all my fault?” I finally asked.
“I’m not, but I think you are,” she said, as several guys entered the bar and sat down next to the old guys at the other end. KO left me sitting there brooding while she went to take their drink orders.
“What do you mean I think it’s my fault?” I asked when she returned.
“I mean, I think you feel guilty for not being able to read a teenager’s mind and for going on a date with Emily the night that Nina ran away,” she said. She waited for her words to sink in, and then leaned across the bar and added, “And I think it’s a lot easier for you to blame Emily so you can run away from what you feel about her.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I said, looking away. I did know what she was talking about, but I hadn’t yet admitted it to myself, so hearing her say it was unsettling.
KO opened her mouth to say something else, then closed it and walked away. I tossed back the second whiskey and was halfway through the beer when Tony came bursting through the door hollering, “Bartender, pour me a beer! We’re gonna celebrate tonight!”
Tony slapped me on the back as he shed his coat and took a seat on the stool next to me.
“What are we celebrating, man?” I asked without enthusiasm.
“I’m gonna be a dad!” Tony said happily.
“So, you got laid, did you?” I chuckled. “Congratulations, buddy.”
“Thanks. Anita and I talked it over, and we found a middle ground, man,” he nodded. “And I gotta tell you, it’s been damn good since then.”
“Imagine that,” I said without enthusiasm. “Talking it over solves the problems.”
“Yeah, man, it sure does,” he said, giving me a confused look. “What’s going on with you?”
“Eh, Remy,” I said, without elaborating. KO pushed Tony’s beer down the bar and left us alone.
“What’s she done now?” he asked, before downing half the beer.
“She’s filed a petition to get sole custody of Nina,” I said. “She blames me for what happened, and says I’m an irresponsible parent who can’t be trusted to raise our daughter.”
“That’s bullshit!” Tony yelled. “What the fuck is wrong with that woman?”
“I don’t know, maybe she’s right, you know?” I said glumly.
“She’s not right, B,” Tony protested. “You’re a great dad. She’s just mad that Nina’s growing up and you can’t control her.”
“How the hell did you arrive at that conclusion?” I asked frowning at him.
“Man, I was a teenager once, too,” he laughed. “I can’t believe you don’t remember what that felt like! To want to be grown up and make your own decisions, and to be pissed off when your parents wouldn’t let you.”
“My parents never stopped us from making decisions,” I said, thinking about how I’d never rebelled against my parents because I’d never had to.
“Then you’re one lucky son of a bitch,” Tony laughed. “The rest of us have had to forge our own paths in the face of resistance.”
“But I never resisted Nina,” I said angrily. “I’ve let her do what she wanted to do — within reason.”
“No, you’re a good dad,” Tony agreed. “But have you ever thought about the fact that maybe you’re the good parent and Remy’s the one who is irresponsible?”
“What the fuck?”
“C’mon, man, she’s got an iron fist when it comes to Nina,” he said, shaking his head. “Maybe she’s the one whose not doing the parenting thing right. Think about it.”
I nodded but said nothing. Until Tony said it, the fact that Remy might be the bad parent had not crossed my mind, but it didn’t change the fact that Emily was the one who’d made the decision to keep vital information from me.
And yet, I kept replaying KO’s admonition and wondering if there was still a chance for me and Emily to make things right.
Chapter Forty-Two
Emily
It had been almost a week since I’d last spoken with Blake, and I’d begun to give up hope of ever talking to him again. KO had told me about the conversation she’d had with him at The Lucky Clover, but since he’d remained silent, it seemed as if the talk hadn’t done any good. I resigned myself to the fact that it was over between Blake an
d I, and that I should find a way to start to move on.
On Monday afternoon, I was cleaning up my desk as I prepared to head home for the day when Nina burst through the classroom door.
“Em—Ms. Fowler, I need you to do me a favor!” she said, in a voice filled with urgency. She was sweating and looked as if she’d been running.
“Nina, what’s going on?” I asked, surprised that she was talking to me after she’d so carefully avoided me for the past week.
“I need you to come to the courthouse with me! Please!” she cried.
“Why? What’s going on?” I asked. KO had told me that Remy had filed a petition to get sole custody of Nina, but that’s all I knew about it.
“My mom is trying to take away my dad’s right to see me,” she said, as her voice cracked and tears started to well up. “I need you to come explain what happened when I ran away and help me and my dad!”
“Nina, I’m not on the witness list,” I said, shaking my head. “I don’t think the judge or your dad would appreciate me showing up and telling my side of the story.”
“But you know what happened! It was all my fault!” she cried. “I’m going to testify, but I need your help. Please, Emily!”
I sat at my desk, turning the situation over in my mind and wondering whether going with Nina to the courthouse would make things better or worse for her. I’d given up on reconciling with Blake, but I didn’t want to make his life any harder than I already had, and I definitely didn’t want to contribute to him losing custody of his daughter.
“I don’t think this is a good idea, Nina,” I said, shaking my head slowly. “I think your mom and dad are perfectly capable of hammering out an agreement that will allow you to see them both, and that the judge will make the best decision for all of you.”
“Emily!” Nina wailed. “If you don’t come talk to the judge, she’s going to make me live with my mother until I’m 18!”
“I seriously doubt any rational judge would ignore what you want, Nina,” I said, trying to reason with her. “It’s not good for any of you.”
“You have no idea what my mother is capable of,” Nina pleaded. “I need your help! Please!”
“Nina, I’m not going to insert myself into your parents’ custody case,” I said firmly. “It’s not welcome or appropriate.”
Nina stared at me for what felt like an eternity before turning and walking out the door without saying another word. I knew I’d let her down, but I also knew that showing up wouldn’t make a bit of difference. No judge would listen to what I had to say.
I finished grading the History papers that I needed to return the next day, and then packed up my things and got ready to go home. When I pulled my phone out of my purse, I saw that Blake had called me around the same time Nina had come to my classroom. When I punched the voicemail box and listened to the message, I knew that what I’d told Nina had been wrong.
“Emily, I’m sorry,” Blake said. “I miss you.”
Without thinking about what I was doing, I grabbed my bags and ran to my car.
Chapter Forty-Three
Blake
I paced the hallway of the courthouse as I waited for the judge to call our case. I could still feel the effects of the alcohol I’d consumed the night before, but I’d done my best to counter them with a cold shower. At my lawyer’s urging, I’d put on the only suit I owned and was trying to look like the upstanding citizen and outstanding parent I was supposed to be.
My lawyer had advised me to say as little as possible and to bring character witnesses if I could. I’d asked Chief and Tony to come testify on my behalf, but I’d avoided calling Emily. I wasn’t entirely sure if it was because I thought she wasn’t a good character witness or if I just didn’t want to open the door when I had no idea where it would lead.
I wanted her back, but I felt fairly certain that when she’d told me to get out, she’d meant for good.
When Remy and her lawyer showed up, I watched as they marched down the hall toward the judge’s chambers and went inside. It occurred to me that the deck was already stacked against me. Remy had filed this paperwork so quickly, and I was now certain that she knew she was going to win this fight long before this. She’d been waiting for me to screw up so that she could bring the issue before a judge and cut me out of Nina’s life. She’d finally get her revenge on me for leaving her.
I sighed heavily and ran a hand through my hair as I tried to think of any way I might be able to influence the proceedings so that I wouldn’t lose custody of Nina. I couldn’t come up with a single new idea, and the situation seemed hopeless.
Ten minutes before we were due to enter the courtroom, Nina came running down the hall as if her life depended on it.
“Dad! Dad! You have to call Emily and tell her to come here!” she yelled.
“Nina, slow down, what are you talking about?” I said, as my daughter flung herself into my arms, nearly knocking me off my feet.
“Dad, you have to call Emily,” she pleaded, as she looked up at me. “You have to tell her you’re sorry!”
“I did call her,” I said wearily. “She didn’t answer her phone.”
“If you call her, she’ll forgive you, Dad!” Nina urged. “She thinks you’re mad at her, but she wants to help! Please call her, Dad! I don’t want to live with Mom full-time! I want to be with you!”
“Nina,” I sighed, feeling torn between doing as she asked and not wanting to disappoint her when things didn’t turn out the way she hoped they would. I knew what we were up against — Remy and her high-powered lawyer had curried favor with the judge and the deck was decidedly stacked against me. I was not going to win this round.
“Dad, please, just do it,” Nina said softly. “If you love me, just do it.”
“That’s not fair,” I protested.
“Call, Dad,” she said, as she stood on her tiptoes and kissed my cheek. “Just call.”
She let go and stepped away to find the bathroom as I pulled my phone out of my pocket. She smiled at me and then disappeared around the corner. I looked at the phone screen and then pulled up Emily’s number and hit Send. I waited as it rang, and then felt both relief and disappointment as it went to voicemail.
I hesitated and then left a second message before hanging up.
When Nina returned from the bathroom, I told her I’d called and left a message. She nodded and took my hand as we waited for our turn in the courtroom.
Ten minutes later we were called into the courtroom. I scanned the hallway, but there was no sign of Emily. I sighed heavily as we entered the room and took my place at the table with my lawyer. I knew this would move quickly and that I wouldn’t get to say much in my own defense. Remy and her lawyer had made sure of that.
We stood as the judge entered, and once she’d rapped her gavel on the bench, we began. Chief and Tony provided statements supporting my assertion that I was a good father and an upstanding citizen, but the judge didn’t seem moved by either man. Remy had brought several of her business associates to testify, but it was obvious that they didn’t know Nina nor she them.
“Does anyone have anything else to add before I render my decision?” the judge asked, from her position above the court.
“I do,” said a voice from the back of the courtroom. I turned and saw Emily striding up the aisle confidently.
“And you are?” the judge asked.
“Emily Fowler, Your Honor,” she replied, as she walked to the front of the room and faced the judge. “I’m Nina’s 10th grade History teacher and Blake Gaston’s girlfriend.”
I heard Remy gasp as Emily explained who she was, and when my lawyer turned to me with a questioning look, I simply nodded. I had no idea what Emily was doing, but it was obvious to me that she had a plan to help.
“There’s no mention of you in the papers that Mr. Gaston filed with the court, Ms. Fowler,” the judge said, giving her a skeptical look.
“I know,” Emily said, bowing her head in deference before
turning to look at me. “I made a mistake, and Blake was furious with me, but I wanted to come tell you what happened, and I wanted to let him know that I still love him.”
“She can’t do this, Your Honor!” Remy cried, as she stood up.
“Ms. Gaston, I suggest you sit down and let me decide what I can and cannot allow to happen in my courtroom,” the judge warned. Remy’s lawyer pulled her back down into her chair and whispered urgently in her ear. Remy crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back, looking like an angry child. The judge turned back to Emily and said, “Ms. Fowler, what is it that you have to add to this hearing?”
“Your Honor, I was the one Nina went to the night she returned after running away,” Emily began. “I wanted to call her mother and father immediately, but she begged me to wait until morning to do it so she could have a chance to gather her thoughts and be able to explain what she’d done and why.”
“And you thought this was a good idea?” the judge said, raising an eyebrow.
“No, Your Honor, I did not,” Emily admitted. “But I was afraid that if I didn’t give Nina a little bit of space, she’d take off again, and then it would be my fault for pushing her into a situation that might have been truly dangerous. I made a bad decision, but it felt like the best one at the time.”
“Why didn’t Nina want you to contact her parents?” the judge asked. “Did she give you a reason?”
“She did, Your Honor,” Emily said, looking over at me. “She was trying to figure out a way to tell her mother that she wanted to live with her father full-time, and she didn’t want to hurt anyone.”
“Nina Gaston wants to live with her father?” the judge asked, as she looked down at the paperwork on her desk and began flipping through it. “This is not the impression I got from the petition that was filed with my clerk.”
“She does, Your Honor,” Emily nodded. “She feels that despite having her best interests at heart, her mother is overly controlling and often absent since she travels a great deal for her job. Nina feels that she would be happier living with her father and visiting her mother on the weekends her mother is in town.”