“So you’re all refusing to let me pleasure you because you know the others will be tempted too?” I arched a brow, skeptical.
Tyler chuckled but nodded. “That, yes, but also . . . Eve, I’m trying to be mindful of you. Of what you are and aren’t ready for. It’s—”
“That’s my decision to make. Not yours.” Who did he think he was to decide when I was ready to have sex?
“I’m not trying to control you!” Tyler wasn’t quick to anger, but he wasn’t one to back down when he believed in something. “I’m just trying to give you the space to make that decision yourself—to not have it made for you by the pull of the Light. Eve, there’s four of us. Once you cross that line with one, the other three won’t be able to resist much longer. You won’t be able to either. Are you sure you’re ready for that?”
My immediate gut reaction was “Yes! Sweet baby Einstein, yes!” But I didn’t speak. My instincts were screaming at me to jump him, tear his clothes off, and deal with the consequences later. But my pesky logical brain was throwing up all kinds of doubts. Like how it could be dangerous if my Light control slipped. Or how I wasn’t entirely sure Alec wanted it. Or how I wasn’t sure I wanted it with him after the way he’d treated me. I wanted the physical—the way he made me feel was undeniable—but did I want all the emotional baggage that came with the physical pleasure?
“We’re just trying to give you time.” Tyler smiled reassuringly before giving me a kiss on the forehead. “At least some of us are,” he mumbled under his breath, and it made me smile.
It also made me realize I had yet to have a proper reunion with the rest of my Bond.
I followed Tyler out of the bedroom only to find Alec stalking across the living room toward us.
“Well, at least you’re dressed this time,” he grumbled, crossing his arms. “I can’t get Kid to move or speak or anything. He’s starting to freak me out. Fix it, precious.”
I ignored his pompous attitude, already brushing past him on the way to my big guy.
Nineteen
Ethan was still in the same spot in front of the car, his shoulders tense, his gaze fixed on the ground.
I marched right up to him, my heart aching, but he wouldn’t meet my eyes. I’d expected him to be upset with me—he’d been the most hurt when I’d attempted to run away the first time—but I hadn’t expected this.
“Ethan? Talk to me,” I pleaded, petrified I’d pushed him too far—that yet another one of my Bond connections was about to fracture—but I knew he needed more than words.
I burrowed up against him, pressing my face into his chest and tucking my arms under his to wrap them around his waist. The back of his shirt was damp with sweat, and I could feel the tension in every rigid muscle. But it was the million-miles-per-hour hammering of his strong heart under my cheek that took my breath away.
He was scared.
My eyes started to sting, an unbearable ache growing in my chest that had nothing to do with the Light.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured into his white T-shirt.
I pulled away only long enough to lift onto my toes and move my arms upward. He still wasn’t looking at me, but his body was responding to mine, his head dipping so I could reach his neck.
I took it as a positive sign and forged on, doing what felt natural. I lifted one leg, winding it around his hip, and then held on tight to his shoulders as I lifted the other too, wrapping myself around him completely.
His hands remained by his sides, so I ended up clinging to him like a monkey. I didn’t care how ridiculous I looked or that my arms were already starting to ache from the effort. I’d hang there all day if that’s what it took to wipe that heart-wrenching look off his face.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured again into his neck and pressed a soft kiss to the same spot. His breathing shallowed, his big chest jostling me with every inhale.
My thighs were already in a jellylike state from what Tyler had done between them. My legs started to tremble, and I slipped just a fraction, nearly losing my grip. I caught myself, but Ethan moved in the same instant.
The sensation of me slipping away from him once again, even a tiny bit, was enough to break whatever spell he was under. He took a sharp breath as his arms finally flew around me. One went to my ass, holding me up, and the other banded around my back.
His head dipped, and he took a long inhale before mirroring my action and lightly kissing my neck. His lips lingered as I spoke again.
“I’m so sorry I put you through this again, baby. I wasn’t running away from you. I was only trying to help save Charlie. I would never run away from you again, ever.”
He sighed, his breath against my neck sending goosebumps over my entire body despite the stifling heat—and despite the fact that every inch of me was flush against someone who was known to spontaneously combust from time to time.
He pressed his lips once more to the same spot, darting his tongue out just a little before trailing his lips up the side of my neck, across my jaw, and over to my mouth. He kissed me, pouring all his frustration and fear into it. I kissed him back with all I had, pushing my tongue into his mouth, crushing my breasts against him, grabbing a handful of his hair.
He needed me to show him I wanted him as much as he wanted me, but I did it because it felt right.
Someone cleared their throat.
“I hate to break this up”—Josh’s quiet, steady voice made us pull away from each other—“but we have company.”
Ethan’s eyes finally met mine, and I was more than relieved to see a smile pulling at his mouth. I pressed one more quick kiss to his full lips, and he lowered me to the ground.
I kept my hands on his shoulders. “Are we OK?”
“Not by a long shot.” His usually booming voice was pitched low and ragged. “But I’m glad you’re safe.”
Before I could say anything else, he grabbed me firmly by the hips and turned me to face Josh.
Josh’s green eyes were practically shining in the bright Australian sun, and his gaze was making up for the way Ethan’s had avoided me.
He didn’t come to me as Tyler had. I didn’t go to him as I’d known Ethan needed me to. No, with Josh, I was always on an equal footing. We leaned into each other at the same time, and he pulled me into one of his bone-crushing hugs.
I dropped my forehead to his shoulder. Ethan let me go, even encouraged me to go to Josh; he knew that’s what we both needed. But he stayed close because that’s what he needed. I could still feel his heat behind me, one of his hands on my hip.
Josh pulled back, threaded one hand into the hair at the base of my head, and kissed me. I returned the kiss with all the intensity he was throwing into it.
He grunted and stepped forward farther. My back connected with Ethan’s chest as the evidence of Josh’s arousal pressed into my front. Solid as always, Ethan didn’t lose his footing; he only lifted his other hand to grab my hip, his fingers seeking out the exposed skin above my shorts.
Knowing Josh was hard and ready to go made me want to drag him into the house to finish what Tyler had started—maybe grab Tyler on the way too. My desire, my need for them, was dizzying. I didn’t even think before I arched my back, rubbing my ass against Ethan. The hardness I felt there as he met my grinding motion with one of his own proved he was just as ready.
I was trying to decide whose shirt to remove first when Josh broke the kiss. I gave him a questioning look, both of us breathing hard, and he licked his lips and glanced over my shoulder, having one of his silent conversations with Ethan. Ethan took a deep breath and squeezed my hips one last time. Then his searing heat at my back disappeared.
It helped sober me up. Tyler was right; I was having trouble controlling my sexual impulses, and I couldn’t entirely be sure if it was my own desire—the estrogen, dopamine, and oxytocin my brain was releasing—or the Light that was driving it.
I also remembered the extra person. My eyes widened, and I backed away from Josh while still keeping my ha
nds on his shoulders, not quite ready to let go. I was a little surprised to see Tyler standing close on my left, his hands on his hips, his body blocking us from the striking woman behind him.
He gave me a smile and a little nod, and I turned back to Josh.
He had that knowing look in his eyes. Of course Josh would have been aware Tyler had come over to give us some semblance of privacy while the three of us pawed at each other like animals with no impulse control.
I kept my eyes locked on Josh’s, reveling in the connection we shared, but his smile slowly dropped from his lips, his eyebrows knitting together as he searched my face. “When are you going to stop running?”
His words hit me with the weight of an eighteen-wheeler. The question cut to the core of who I was as a person.
I’d spent my life running, spurred on by my mother, her eyes always looking over her shoulder. But I’d run from her too, hiding things about myself I knew she would disapprove of—like Harvey. I’d grown so much since meeting my guys, but I was still running from some things. Like the fucked-up situation with Alec and what that meant for the rest of us.
Josh watched me intently as half-formed thoughts and conclusions ran through my mind. But after a moment he simply kissed me on the forehead and stepped out of our embrace. Now was not the time for that conversation.
He turned to face Tyler and cleared his throat. “Eve, this is Nina. Nina, this is our Vital, Eve.”
Tyler stepped out of the way so I could face the woman, the Lighthunter, properly. She was tall and had an athletic build—the toned muscles in her arms and midsection making her every movement seem effortless—and her complexion was a rich umber. The black hair on her head was buzzed very short, but her graceful movements and the delicate lines of her face and hands made it impossible to mistake her for a man. She was wearing a red crop top and tan pants with rips all over them.
She looked right at me with almost black eyes and smiled wide. “So this is your Light? Hello.” She spoke with a heavy French accent. “Nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too.” I stepped away from my guys, extending my hand in greeting. If I could blush, I would have. She’d seen every kiss, heard every moan, as I reunited with my Bond. “Sorry about . . . uh . . .”
“Not to worry.” She shook my hand. “I am well acquainted with the dynamics of Bonds.”
“Right. Because you’re a Lighthunter?”
She nodded with a small smile.
“Nina has more than proven she’s the real deal,” Tyler said, placing a hand at my lower back and making me sigh with pleasure. Even though I no longer felt as if the Light were about to burst out of my skin, tearing me apart in the process, something still felt off; there was still an almost pulling sensation in my chest.
“You scared your Bond half to death. I don’t know what they would have done to me had I refused to locate you.” Her words were ominous, but she looked very amused. Then her smile faltered as something behind me drew her eyes. “Why do you not reunite with all your Bondmates?”
“What?” I’d never heard the term Bondmates, but it was obvious she was talking about my Variants. Specifically the one Variant I had yet to properly deal with.
“Your Light clearly flows through him, but it is dim. The connection is strained.” Her gaze wandered to the spot on my chest right where I could feel that dull ache. I raised my hand to rub at it, not particularly wanting to discuss with a total stranger the clusterfuck that was my relationship with Alec.
She stepped forward and gently pulled my hand away, immediately replacing it with hers. My eyes widened, and my mouth opened to say something, but all that came out was a small gasp of surprise.
“So much tension . . .”
For some reason, I felt compelled to explain it to her. “Yeah, Alec and I, we—”
“Not just that one thread,” she interrupted. “All your threads are tense. Your Bond is unsteady.”
“What? No . . .” I knew where I stood with the others. I knew where I wanted our relationships to go.
“Yes.” She chuckled and dropped her hand. “You are all connected. You are as one. But you are not one. If there is tension with one Mate, there is tension with the whole Bond.”
“Oh . . .” The complicated situation between Alec and I was making things more difficult with the others too. They felt they had to take sides at times, and hadn’t I just had a conversation with Tyler about why they were holding off on physical intimacy?
“Why does he not come to her?” Nina asked Tyler.
“He doesn’t feel it would be received well. And he doesn’t think he deserves it. It’s complicated . . .”
“Oh, for Galileo’s sake.” I rolled my eyes and marched over to where Alec sat on the steps. If we could just hug it out and mute this annoying ache in my chest, maybe we could all get on with the important stuff—finding Charlie.
I stopped in front of him, determined, tiny puffs of dust settling around my feet. He had his head in his hands, his fingers digging into his scalp, his elbows resting on his knees. It reminded me a lot of the first time I’d seen him. He’d been sitting exactly like that in the corner of my hospital room after he’d saved my life.
Suddenly, I found myself wanting more than a means-to-an-end hug. I wanted him to look at me with those ice-blue eyes and speak to me with the honey in his voice.
I wanted the man who’d been kind and made me believe I wasn’t alone in the world. Not the one who had been cruel to me, ignored me, and pushed me away. I was finding it increasingly difficult to reconcile the two.
“Alec,” I said uncertainly.
He looked up, his eyes searching mine, his expression somehow simultaneously vulnerable and angry. “I know that I . . . I’m sorry . . . I just . . . fuck!”
He leaned back and looked up, rubbing his thigh with one hand. His other was tightening and relaxing rhythmically around something in his fist.
Usually he bailed well before this level of emotion was allowed to surface.
He reached out as if to touch me but pulled his hand back. I shuffled my feet, unsure.
Then I huffed—at him, at me, at this whole situation. My gaze zeroed in on his clenched fist and the delicate sliver string peeking out from between his fingers.
I reached out and covered his fist with my hand, and his nervous movements stilled. Using both hands, I uncurled his fingers to reveal my necklace—the tracking device. I took it and slipped it over my head.
His striking eyes followed my movements. I gripped the little silver rod pendant with one hand and placed the other back in his still upturned one. His calloused fingers closed around mine immediately.
I gave him a nod, hoping it conveyed what I couldn’t seem to find words for.
Part of me wanted to apologize for running away, for putting him through that again. The words had come easily with Ethan, but with Alec they just didn’t sit right. I couldn’t make myself say sorry to him when he hadn’t said sorry to me for so many things.
He gave me a little nod in return, the tension in his shoulders relaxing slightly. Folding both his big hands around mine, he opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again, his eyes flying from side to side.
I waited patiently, my heart beating a little faster. This was the most sincerity I’d seen in his face for a long time, the most vulnerability.
He looked back into my eyes.
“Evie.” His voice was like honey, and I nearly melted. “I am so sorry . . .”
Whatever he was about to apologize for, it was interrupted by Tyler rushing up to us, his gun by his side. “We have company.”
Alec stood and pulled his own weapon immediately, his face going hard again, all the rigidity returning to his posture. They moved together and nudged me behind them, shielding me from the oncoming threat.
I craned my neck and spotted an unfamiliar car coming up the driveway. This must have been the most action that driveway had seen in months.
A tiny jolt
of fear spiked in my chest. I stepped closer to the two broad backs in front of me, resting a hand on each. I needed something to hold on to.
Tyler reached around to hold me closer to his hip. Alec leaned back into my touch but kept both hands firmly on his weapon. Ethan and Josh moved cautiously to stand off to the side and in front of us. Nina simply got back into the car; it was most likely bulletproof if it had come from Melior Group.
The silver Holden Commodore slid to a stop in the gravel, the driver having slammed the brakes a little too hard.
When Harvey got out and raked his confused glance over the scene, I breathed an audible sigh of relief. The sound drew his attention, and he spotted my face between Alec and Tyler’s shoulders. Then his eyes took in the weapons in their hands.
“Hey!” He marched toward us. “Get away from her!” His voice carried, the squawk of nearby galahs punctuating it further.
He had no idea these guys were my Bond; he knew only that I was on the run from someone dangerous, and here were a bunch of armed men literally holding on to me.
My guys had no way of knowing Harvey wasn’t a threat either. This could turn ugly real fast.
“Wait, wait,” I rushed out, tapping both Alec and Tyler on the shoulder. “It’s OK, he’s—”
“Stay back.” Tyler’s command was calm but firm.
“I said get the fuck away from her!” Harvey was undeterred by the fact that both Tyler and Alec were raising their weapons, but it was Josh who reacted first.
He moved both hands in a shoving motion, and Harvey was thrown off his feet, sliding on his back almost all the way back to his car.
My eyes widened; Josh looked furious. I’d never seen him like that. He was always the calm one.
Vital Found (The Evelyn Maynard Trilogy Book 2) Page 23