A pair of boots, too small to be a man’s, came to a stop next to me. I sighed and leaned my head against the wall, drawing my knees up.
Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Dana turn around, but instead of heading back downstairs, she sat on the top step. We were a few feet apart, facing opposite directions but sitting in line with each other.
“He was never mine, was he?” There was no anger in her voice—just a resigned kind of sadness.
“If it makes you feel any better, he fought it really hard. For a long time,” I told the ornate hall table in front of me.
“It doesn’t,” Dana answered.
“I’m sorry.” I was just as surprised as anyone to hear myself directing those words at her. But I really did feel bad about how it had all played out. She’d got caught up in our mess, and it wasn’t fair to her. Alec had hurt us both.
“Don’t be. You didn’t do anything. I see that now. I just wish he’d told me.”
But I had done something. I’d let him kiss me; I’d kissed him back when I’d thought he was with her. I wasn’t sure she knew that, and I didn’t want to rub salt in the wound. “He kept things from me too.”
“Fucker.”
I turned my head in her direction. She met my gaze and rolled her eyes, a tentative smile pulling at her lips.
I smiled back and shook my head.
At least there was one fewer person I had to watch my back with.
Twenty-Eight
Ethan and Josh got back just as Dana was leaving, so I let Alec and Tyler catch them up. I needed some time alone. I spent most of the day shut up in my now-permanent room, staring at the ceiling or out the window.
After a subdued dinner where Lucian didn’t join us and the guys kept looking at me warily, I decided I couldn’t put it off any longer. The guys all got up to go with me, but I wanted to speak with Lucian alone. Much as I appreciated having Alec’s determination on my side, he tended to escalate situations.
The older man was on the balcony off his study on the first floor. A single desk lamp cast the room in an eerie yet cozy glow, throwing shadows over the vast bookshelves. I walked through the classically decorated room to the balcony doors.
Lucian stood at the railing, looking out over the yard. I grabbed a blanket off the leather couch and draped it over my shoulders before stepping out to join him.
It was a perfectly still night, so there was no biting wind. Just the snow falling softly, coating everything in white and silence.
A silence it was time to break.
I stood next to him, both of us looking out over the white powder, and waited. He knew all my questions; there was no need to voice them.
He sighed deeply, his breath misting in the cool air, and held a glass out for me. I took it reflexively; he had a matching one in his other hand, and both held a generous amount of scotch. Something exorbitantly expensive, I was sure.
I brought it to my lips but couldn’t discern any fancy undertones in the flavor. It just tasted like alcohol. It burned my throat on the way down and made my lungs burn, but it did make me feel warmer.
“Your mother glowed too,” Lucian finally said, “when the Light flow got really intense. I only saw it a handful of times, but it was exactly like what you did.”
“They told you about that?” I looked at him out of the corner of my eye.
“I saw it in the footage from the train station.”
“I thought Alec took care of that.”
“He had Charlie delete it all, but I am the director of the top security firm in the world. Give me a little credit.”
“Fair point.” But if he’d found it, who else had?
“Have you figured out yet that when you glow, it allows you to draw Light from Variants?”
“No. Only that I can transfer to them remotely. Although I don’t know what it is or how it works. My research is yielding no results.” I frowned at the amber liquid and took another sip. Could I really draw Light out of others? I couldn’t remember doing that, but the few times I’d glowed had been under extremely stressful circumstances. I’d been acting on instinct.
“I only experienced it for myself once and saw her do it a few more times, but she told me about it—what little she knew herself. Evelyn, you need to be very careful with it. When you glow like that, when you tap into such intense power, it allows you to give a Variant an ability. Someone who doesn’t have one, you can give it to them.”
“Whoa . . .” I whispered, my mind racing.
“But it kills the Variant you’re drawing Light from.”
I whipped my head around to look at him. He didn’t meet my gaze, continuing to stare out into the silently falling snow.
“The only way to give a Variant an ability is to draw it from another, but you take every scrap of Light they’ve ever possessed, and it kills them. Have you ever wondered how Davis got his ability?”
“No,” I whispered, dread trickling down my spine.
“You may have seen mentions in the media about his ability manifesting in his early thirties—much later than is common.” Lucian took a sip of his own whiskey. “Well, it didn’t manifest. Your mother gave it to him.”
The implications of that settled in the silence between us.
The snow continued to fall. Soundless. Steady. I knew the answer was right there in front of me. In the icy flakes, in the amber liquid, in Lucian’s unsteady voice.
But I just couldn’t wrap my mind around the idea that my mother had killed someone.
“What do you mean?” I sniffled, not entirely sure if it was from the cold or the emotion beginning to choke me. I lifted the glass to my lips once more; my hand was shaking.
“She didn’t mean to do it. She knew as little as you did about how it works, why she glowed. But Davis is very manipulative, and she thought she was in love. So she drained another Variant dry, not knowing it would kill him. In the weeks after, she realized she was pregnant, and Davis, drunk on his new power to read people’s minds, dumped her.”
“How do you know all this? You said you didn’t meet my mother until after I was born.”
“I didn’t. I lived in London for most of my youth, working for my father there. When an opportunity with Melior Group came up in New York, I moved back here, returning to my childhood home”—he gestured to the sprawling yard and the beautiful mansion—“and my sisters. Olivia was living in London with her family too. They came back not long after you and Joyce disappeared.
“I met your mother when I moved back, and realized she was my Vital. You were only a baby, but your father—”
“Don’t call him that.” My voice had the bite that was missing from the cold. I hadn’t thought before I spoke, but the reaction felt right. “I don’t have a father.”
“Fair enough.” Lucian nodded. “He was already out of the picture. He got what he wanted from your mother, and he was off, using his new ability to build his empire. It was only when he decided he wanted more from her that he came back.”
“What did he want?”
“He wanted her to do it again. To kill for him again. To take another Variant’s ability and help him figure out how she did it. He became radicalized, obsessed, had crazy ideas about how he could make more Variants. He wanted to change humans—give them abilities. It’s not scientifically possible. Humans simply don’t have the DNA, but he was . . . persistent.”
“What did he do?” I was afraid of the answer, but I needed to know. I couldn’t shy away from asking all the relevant questions, even if the answers pained me.
“Your mother felt awful about what she’d done. She thought a lot about turning herself in to the police, but she didn’t have any family, and that would have left you alone in the world. She just couldn’t do it. When Davis came back a few years later, he threatened her with exactly that. He said he would turn her in, make it sound like she was the one who’d orchestrated the whole thing. It would be his word against hers—a prominent businessman with friends in high
places versus a single mom, trying to figure things out. She was scared. She knew what he was capable of, and once again she chose to put you first. So she ran.”
And there it was—the answer to the question I’d been asking for as long as I could remember. I finally knew what my mother had been running from: my father.
I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart. “Why didn’t you come with us?”
If he was really her Variant, how did he ever let her leave? If she was his Vital, how could she stand to be away from him? The mere thought of separating from my guys sent a jolt of pain through my chest.
“It was the single hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but it was the best way to keep you both safe. I was already well-known in Variant circles, in the business world. My face was recognizable. I had a large family. I couldn’t just disappear. I would have been a liability. But by staying behind, I was able to help. I helped her stay hidden, stay one step ahead of him. I used every Melior Group resource at my disposal. Who do you think taught her how to make fake documents?”
I looked over at him and smiled. She’d taught me, but I’d never really thought about who taught her. “Yeah, she passed that skill on. Thanks, I guess.”
“You’re welcome.” He smiled into his glass before taking another sip. “And I’ve seen your fakes. They’re exceptional—better than some of the forgeries my professional guys can do.”
“Thanks.” My chest swelled a little. He didn’t strike me as a man who gave praise frivolously.
“Evelyn, Davis’s dogged pursuit of your mother and her ability is why we suspect he might be behind the Vital kidnappings. I never heard him mention it once since Joyce ran, despite the fact I kept him close, made deals with him, pretended to be friends with him—but I believe he never gave up on his mission to give others abilities. I think he just refined it. The fact that you’re like your mom—not only a Vital but one with all the extra power—is why she had to keep you from him. She couldn’t risk him using you like he did her. Hurting you.”
“So she knew. You guys knew I was a Vital even that young?” Abilities and Light access usually didn’t manifest until the teens.
“Alec was twelve when his ability started to manifest. You were only four but already showing signs of access to the Light. You weren’t transferring to him or anything like that, but it was clear you had a special connection. You felt particularly safe and comforted with him, and he was crazy protective of you. Playing with a toddler for hours on end doesn’t exactly top the list of desirable activities for most preteen boys. We all suspected. When you actually glowed one night during a temper tantrum, it was confirmed. Not long after that, Davis showed up again, making his threats.”
“And she ran,” I whispered, my breath misting in the cold.
“And she ran,” Lucian repeated, his voice low, sad.
We were both silent for a while, staring at the snow still falling steadily. If it kept up this pace, we wouldn’t be able to get a car down the driveway in the morning. I tried to digest all I’d learned, but it sat heavy in my stomach, making me feel a little lightheaded. Or maybe that was the whiskey.
I put my empty glass down on a table behind me and pulled the throw blanket tighter around myself. “Why did you keep me in the dark? You must have known who I was when you saw me at the gala. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Alec—”
“Fucking Alec,” I cut him off.
“He’s trying.”
“I know.”
We both sighed in the exact same way, mutually frustrated and grudgingly understanding.
“When your mother didn’t check in at our designated time, I knew something was wrong. Unless, of course, it was a last-second decision, she usually kept me informed about where you were heading next—sometimes I would help her set it up. Then she would check in once she got there.”
He looked at me expectantly, his eyes burning with the need to know why we’d abruptly left Melbourne.
“She found out I had a boyfriend,” I explained. “We were on a plane within hours.”
“Ah.” He nodded. “I assumed you were both . . .” He swallowed audibly. This was clearly difficult for him to talk about, and I felt a pang of guilt for putting him through it. But I shoved it aside. I’d been lied to so much my whole life. I deserved some answers.
He refilled his glass and took a big sip. “I knew your mother was gone. There was no way she would have gone that long without getting in touch. When I saw you at the gala, you can’t imagine how happy I was, Evelyn. To know you’d survived whatever it was that happened to her. To know we hadn’t failed after all . . . but I was so mad at Alec for keeping it from me. For a long time.”
“Still doesn’t explain why you didn’t tell me.”
“What was I supposed to do? Walk up to you in a room full of gossiping Variants and say, ‘Hey, I know you don’t know me, but your mom was my Vital, and I was in love with her, and I know who and what you are—by the way, why are you dating Ethan and not Alec?’”
I rolled my eyes. “You could have come to me after.”
“Alec begged me not to. He wasn’t ready to face it all, and if I’m being completely honest, neither was I. You didn’t know any of it, but you were where you belonged. You were safe and happy, and that’s all that your mother and I ever wanted, so I decided to let you enjoy it for a little while. Plus, I had to do all I could to keep Davis from finding out you were alive. That’s what I focused on.”
I should have been angry—what was it about Zacarias men that made them so determined to keep secrets from me?—but I just couldn’t seem to find the energy. He may not have handled it how I would have liked, but maybe he’d handled it how my mother would have wanted, and I couldn’t fault him for that. Besides, considering all he’d told me, all that had happened recently, we couldn’t afford to be at odds.
This was my new family. It was time to move forward.
I opened my mouth to say just that, but he beat me to it.
“I’m sorry, Evelyn.” It came out on a whisper, his voice quivering slightly. “I only ever wanted to protect you and your mother.”
“I know,” I answered quickly. “But no more secrets and lies and classifieds and keeping things from me for my own good. I’m not a child anymore. I have a right to make my own informed decisions about my life.”
“It’s hard for me to think of you as anything other than that little four-year-old who was the light of our . . . of your mother’s life, but I agree. No more secrets.”
His little slip didn’t go unnoticed. I was taken aback by just how much he seemed to care for me—I hadn’t even known who he was until a few months ago—but knowing what he was to my mother changed everything. I was a Vital too; I knew what it meant to have Variants.
I couldn’t trust myself to speak without crying. Instead, I took a tiny step closer to him and slowly lowered my head to his shoulder. After a beat, he wrapped a tentative arm around me and took another sip of whiskey.
The first day back after Christmas break was about as awful as I expected.
Walking to my last class, a Variant studies lecture, I was one-hundred-percent over it. I’d done my best to ignore the whispers and stares all day—to focus on the feel of Josh’s hand in mine, the heaviness of Ethan’s arm over my shoulder—but it was hard.
Dot’s mood wasn’t much better; any Light I’d transferred to her was gone, and she’d lost all ability to talk to animals without touching them. Zara’s absence was excruciating when I had to attend classes we’d shared and sit by myself—nothing but her betrayal in the seat next to mine and people’s gossip settling over me like a heavy cloak of deceit and pain.
I took my bulky coat off inside the building and headed for the lecture hall, juggling it with my book bag.
“Is it true?” A blonde girl who used to date Ethan blocked my path. I remembered her from when we first started dating; she’d never been shy to let me overhear her talk about how there was n
othing special about me.
“Hi, my name is Evelyn. How nice of you to finally introduce yourself.” Maybe because I was so acutely aware of Zara’s absence, my reaction was pure sarcasm. Although it did feel good to finally use my real name. It was freeing, despite the fact that I was introducing myself to a total bitch.
“Come on, are you really a Vital?” She crossed her arms over her chest. She had some friends with her, but a few other people also stopped to listen. Everyone wanted to know; she was just the first one to actually ask.
“I’m sure you’ve seen the news.” I refused to lower my voice. Let them listen. “Clearly I am.”
“And you have three Bonded Variants?” She asked skeptically. “That’s really rare.”
“Yeah, I know.” I matched her bitchy tone, laying a little more snark on top. It was all out in the open. I had nothing left to lose by being honest. A Melior Group agent was never far away, and they were all on orders to keep an eye on me. “And I don’t have three.”
She looked satisfied, turning to her friends. “I told you. No one—”
“I have four,” I cut her off.
They all turned to face me.
“Bullshit.” One of her friends scowled, but her eyes held a heavy dose of uncertainty.
“Believe whatever you want.” I sighed, shifting my bag off my shoulder; it was getting heavy.
“Four Bonded Variants is unheard of,” the blonde declared, as if I didn’t already know. As if everyone in the hallway didn’t already know. “You expect us to believe you have four and that the ‘Master of Pain’ himself is one of them? Please! You’re probably just using this to explain away the fact that you’re fucking half the school.”
“Not half the school. Just four guys—my guys.” I leaned forward for that last part. I was done being called a slut. I wasn’t technically sleeping with them yet, but she didn’t know that.
“I don’t believe you. No one goes near Alec . . .” Her eyes widened at something over my shoulder. The crowd shifted, shuffling away while still trying to stay within earshot.
Vital Found (The Evelyn Maynard Trilogy Book 2) Page 33