by Kim Stokely
“Alystrine?” Kennis reached out toward me. “Are you all right?”
I wrapped my arms around my waist to try and steady myself. I couldn’t take my eyes from the woman. “I’m so sorry.” I sank to the ground. “Please forgive me, I am so sorry.”
Kennis motioned for the other women to back away, but Andrew’s wife moved forward. She knelt in front of me. “Is it a vision?”
“No.” Tears streamed down my face. “A memory.” I grabbed her hand. “You’re Andrew’s wife, aren’t you? The Healer?”
I saw the weight of her sorrow press on her back. Her shoulders stooped. “He was my husband.”
The sight of his headless body lying in a pool of blood in the tavern ran through my thoughts. “It was my fault he was killed. He died protecting me.” His high pitched scream of death echoed in my nightmares. “I’m so sorry.”
The woman pressed my hand against her chest. “Do not apologize, Your Majesty. I know you meant Andrew no harm. He died in service to the heir of Queen Etain and the noble Elder Geran. It was a death of honor and courage.”
“It’s all my fault.”
She frowned at me then. “Ruahk alone determines how many breaths we take on this earth. If He deemed Andrew’s life as complete, then who am I to demand he live?”
My breath came out in heaving gasps. “I don’t understand. How can you not hate me?”
“Have you no hope in a life after this one?”
“I don’t know.”
She lowered my hand into her lap. “The Elders teach that there is more than this world. Ruahk will bring us into his paradise at the appointed time.” Her smile spread across her face. “I will see my beloved husband again. Of that, I have no doubt. Until then, I have sons to take care of me and a community of friends who support me.”
Several women stepped forward and placed their hands on her shoulders as others murmured affirmations.
“Please.” I tried to stop my tears. “Please, tell me you forgive me.”
“There is nothing to forgive.” She must have read something in my eyes. “But if you insist. I forgive you, Your Majesty.”
I wiped my face with the sleeve of my tunic. “Thank you.”
Kennis helped me to stand. “I think my niece needs to rest now. Please, excuse us.” She wrapped her arm around my shoulders and guided me back to our tent. I barely made it to my bed before my legs weakened.
Kennis tucked me under a woolen blanket. “Get some sleep, Alystrine.”
I reached out for her hand. “Stay with me? In case the dreams come?”
She laid down by my side. I shifted so my head rested on her chest. She ran her fingers through my hair like she had when I was little and had a fever. Her voice quivered a moment as she sung a lullaby. I hadn’t heard it in years but its melody soothed away the horrible memories and replaced them with a feeling of security.
Oh do not weep, my child, my love
For there is hope from one above
There is a place of no more fears
Where there is joy and never tears
So sleep, my child, let the Messengers keep you
May they be with you and never forsake you
For out of their sight you never shall be
And always, my love, will you be with me.
If there was another verse to the song, I didn’t hear it. I drifted into a drugless, dreamless sleep for the first time in weeks.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Prisoner
“Come Alystrine.” Braedon’s voice spoke from the nothingness of sleep. “Would you leave your friend to suffer when your presence alone could set him free?”
The voice called and I let my spirit travel towards it.
“Yes, Alystrine. Come and see.”
I flew over the plains of the Elder Lands, over forests and rivers. Braedon’s voice pulled me as if we were bound together. I didn’t know where I was going, only that I had no choice in the matter. He demanded it and I was compelled to go to him.
I recognized the palace in Uz. No one noticed me as I soared above the walls and courtyards. I floated through the great wooden door, all the while clinging to the Lord Regent’s voice to guide my way through the passages.
I flew along the main corridor, past guards and Mystics. Down a circular stairwell, poorly lit and filled with ominous shadows. But I wasn’t afraid. Even as I traveled through the black aisles of the dungeon cells, Braedon’s voice soothed me.
Chains bound Josh’s wrists to the stone wall of a prison cell. Dirt and urine clung to his jeans. His face looked unmarked but frightened.
He mumbled something under his breath. I struggled to make out the words but couldn’t. I stepped closer to him and figured out that he was praying.
“Please, God, get me out of here. Please . . . I want to go home.”
If hearts could break, mine would have shattered.
“Please, God . . . I want to go home.”
I had to comfort him. I had to let him know I would do everything I could to get him back to the world he knew.
“You know what to do, Alystrine.” Braedon appeared by my side. “It is within your power to save him now.”
“But Geran . . . .” I turned back to watch Josh as he pleaded with God to save him.
“What does Geran know about you? About your feelings for this boy?”
“Nothing.”
“That’s right. He knows nothing about you. Why should you do what he tells you to do?
“But he knows you. He doesn’t trust you.” I stared into his black eyes. “Neither do I.”
He smiled then. A warm smile, not the crooked grin that made me shiver. “And yet you came to me when I called. You felt my desire for you.”
“It’s power you want, not me.”
“I want both, is that wrong?” His fingers whispered across my cheek, not actually touching me but sending shivers through me nonetheless. “You are beautiful. Any man would be glad to have you as his wife.” His eyes held mine so I couldn’t move away, even though I wanted to. “All I want is for you to take the throne, and for Ayden to be at peace. Can you not see that by uniting the Mystics and the Elders through our marriage, the land will finally heal?”
I tore my gaze from him and looked at Josh.
Braedon bent down to whisper in my ear, “If you won’t come for the kingdom, will you not come for your friend?”
“I am coming.”
A hard edge came to his voice. “Not with an army, Alystrine. Not with Geran and Kennis whispering in your ear to fear me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve removed the barriers around the castle. Your spirit is here already. Follow its passage through and come.” He turned to Josh. “I will set him free the moment you are here. Sigal will transport him to the other world.”
A trickle of blood ran down Josh’s arm as he struggled to get his hands out of the chains that bound him to the wall.
“I am only waiting for you, Alystrine.”
I readied myself to find the passage. I had to save Josh.
Braedon smiled and took a step back. “Good.”
Alystrine! Stop!
Quinn’s voice startled me and the dream Braedon wavered out of focus.
“Come, Alystrine,” the Lord Regent beckoned. “Come now before the passage is broken!”
I struggled to find the currents of air that could bring me to Josh.
He lies! Wait until we are ready. Until you have an army behind you!
Braedon’s arm passed through the bars and pointed to Josh. “Wait and he dies.”
I focused on the air around me and pushed. Something forced me back. It was as if I tried to walk against a hurricane. I doubled my efforts but so did the wind. “Let me go!”
But now there were hands pulling at me, keeping me from taking to the passages and saving Josh. I beat at the hands and wind around me, but it was no use. The bond was broken. I couldn’t find it again.
Quinn, Kennis and
Oded fell away as I sat up from my bed, shrieking with anger and frustration. “He’s going to kill him! Don’t you see? Braedon’s going to kill him!”
Quinn tried to grab my arms but I threw him off. “It was a trick. What you saw was not real.”
“Yes it was. I saw him.” My breath came in shallow pants. “I saw Josh in that cell.”
“Even if you did, do you really think Braedon would let him go if you returned alone?” Quinn tried hard to make me look at him, moving his face in front of mine so I couldn’t escape his eyes. “Think about what you know. If you returned alone, with no one by your side, what would Braedon do?”
“He promised he would let Josh go.”
Quinn lifted an eyebrow. “And what would that gain him?”
I struggled to wake up enough to think clearly. “I don’t know.”
“Nothing. And when has the Lord Regent ever let himself gain nothing from a deal?”
“But I would be at the palace, just like he wants.”
Quinn nodded. “But what of the next thing he’d want? He would not be satisfied with having you there, he would want the coronation as soon as possible, whether Geran or Kennis or anyone else you trusted could be by your side. Do you not see how he would keep using your friend?”
It made sense, even in my sleep induced haze.
“He will not kill the boy. Yet. Not while he still has use for him.”
I clutched Quinn’s arm. “He was so scared. He was praying to go home.”
The Portal put his hand over mine. “Then Ruahk, who hears the prayers of all those who call on him, will surely keep Josh safe and bring him home.”
Geran lurched into the tent, barely keeping upright as he leaned on Devnet. “What have you done?
I pulled my knees to my chest. “Nothing. I dreamed is all.”
My father loomed over me. “You tried to travel to the boy, didn’t you?”
I placed my forehead against my knees and covered my head with my hands. I was tired. I’d never felt so exhausted–physically, emotionally, everything drained. Would I ever feel good again?
Devnet helped my father to sit at the foot of my bed and then took a seat by my side. They sat around me in a circle. I was trapped.
“You were trying to find a passage to the boy, weren’t you?” my father asked again. “Do not lie to me.”
I didn’t lift my head. I couldn’t find the energy. “I thought it was a dream. It didn’t seem real at first.”
“What did you see?” Devnet asked.
I explained the beginning of the dream, of how I’d felt called by Braedon, bound to him, somehow. How I’d travelled in the dream to the palace and found Josh. I left out Braedon’s suggestive comments. No need to go there at the moment.
“You spirit travelled to him?” Geran sounded angry.
I didn’t respond.
“Answer me, did you Spirit Travel to him?”
“I think so.”
Geran groaned. “This is why we must wait to take you to him. You must gain more control of your powers.”
Kennis rubbed my back. “She needs to rest.”
Quinn shifted next to me. “She can rest after the coronation. Too many things are left to chance until the crown is on her head.”
“But should she take the crown when she is so unprepared?” Oded argued. “She needs to know more about Ayden, its people and its history.”
My fingers twisted in my short hair.
Devnet added his two cents next. “The Council of Commons and the Elder Council are ready to crown her now. They are willing to grant her time after the coronation to learn rather than postponing her monarchy.”
Geran slapped a hand against the packed earth of the floor. “But she cannot rule when she allows herself to be influenced by her emotions and dreams.”
“Brother,” Devnet countered, “you have not seen the power the Lord Regent has gained over the past eight years. All but the Mystics are desperate for change. Braedon gone and Alystrine in his place.”
A headache blossomed in my brain as I listened to the adults around me argue. Their words sounded like a giant swarm of bees in my brain. “Be quiet!”
The others went silent. Kennis kept her hand on my back but stopped rubbing. I clutched at my short hair, pulling just hard enough to make my scalp hurt but not hard enough to pull any out.
“Alystrine?” my mother whispered. “Are you unwell?”
I choked out a sharp laugh. The men stayed silent. I could feel their eyes on me. Staring. Wondering what was going on inside my mind.
“Alystrine?” Kennis sat closer so she could wrap her arm around me. “Talk to me.”
“Why?” I asked. “Nobody listens to me. You all have your own plans. Each of you have your own vision of what I should do, of who you want me to be.” I shuddered under the weight of all their expectations. I lifted my head found myself staring into my father’s eyes. Those ice blue eyes that had drawn me into this world just a few weeks ago. I dropped my hands to my side. “You’re right. I’m not ready to be queen.”
He seemed pleased that I agreed with him. His smile faded as I continued, “But not because I think I need more training. These . . .” I struggled to find the words I wanted. “These gifts I have, these powers, they may help when I take the throne, but they won’t make me who I am.”
I sat up straighter as I grew more confident in what I wanted to say. I sought Devnet’s face. “A good friend of ours gave me some advice. Andrew told me I needed to stop worrying about what everyone expected of me and start deciding who I wanted to become.” I glanced around the room at all the faces watching me. “That’s the one thing none of you have given me time to do. I need to figure out who I am now, in this world, with these new responsibilities. And I don’t know how.”
To my surprise, it was Devnet who spoke first. “We should have thought . . . .”
I waited for him to say more.
He shook his head as if angry with himself. “How could we have been so blind?”
Geran frowned. “To what?”
“When a child displays that they have been given a gift from the Messengers, what do we do?
Geran lifted his arms to his side in what appeared to be frustration. “We train them, like I said.”
Devnet leaned forward, his light brown hair falling across his eyes. “Yes, but not only to strengthen their gifts, but in their walk with Ruahk.” He brushed his bangs away so he could see Kennis. “Am I right in thinking you did not instill a belief in him to Alystrine?”
My mother’s face grew hard. “I was forced to marry a Mystic. Ruahk had no use for me.” She clutched her hands together in her lap. “I could not teach what I didn’t know.”
“I place no blame, no condemnation on you,” Devnet said. “I only mean for the others to understand.” He addressed the other Elders. “Can you not see? What is habit for us, a belief in a higher power, a sense of our lives being part of something bigger than ourselves, is foreign to Alystrine. Power, earthly and spiritual power, has been thrust upon her.” He turned his focus to me. “She needs time to seek Ruahk and understand her relationship to Him and to this world.”
Quinn’s hands clenched into fists that he rubbed against his knees. “There’s no time for that!”
My uncle’s voice rose. “Then she will fail. Until she knows who she is, what her place is in this world, she will not have the strength to do all that is required of her.”
I wanted to hug him. Finally, someone who seemed to understand what I was going through.
“Braedon wants her crowned by the next whole moon.” Quinn shook his head. “That manner of spirit searching takes months of solitude.”
“What will the Lord Regent do if she does not return?” Geran asked.
“Torture the boy publically.”
My father shrugged as my body trembled.
“If that fails to lure her back,” Quinn continued, “he will execute the boy and then, I suspect, he will declare her unf
it for the throne.”
My father’s ice blue eyes burned with hatred. “He would not dare.”
Quinn matched his stare. “The Mystics have a powerful army, not to mention a hundred Black Guards, demons who torture and kill for pleasure alone. Braedon will unleash them upon us if he believes there is a chance the Commoners will not fight for the Elders.”
Geran’s voice rose. “And why would they abandon us?”
Quinn gestured to me. “If Alystrine does not return, he will make up a rumor about her mental state or her physical health; anything that will lessen her abilities in their eyes.” His fist struck the ground. “The people are desperate for peace. A lasting peace this time. Braedon has given them that for the past eight years, albeit a peace bought through fear and intimidation.” Quinn lowered his voice. “If the people are not convinced of her strength and talents, they will follow Braedon, no matter what it costs them in the end.”
Oded, who had listened to the exchange with his head in his hands, looked up. “The full moon is yet twelve days away, is it not?”
Quinn nodded.
“Then surely we can give her a few days to seek her purpose?”
“What good will it do?” the Portal asked. “A few days?”
Oded gave Quinn a look that seemed a mix of pity and frustration. “Have you been so long in the realm of the Mystics that you have forgotten the power of Ruahk?”
“No, but–”
Oded held up his hand. “There is no argument you can make. If Ruahk himself, or through his Messengers, wishes to make Himself known to Alystrine, He will.” Oded pushed himself to his feet. “If Ruahk wishes to help her know her purpose, He will help her.” The old man’s voice shook with power. “I will call the Elder Council together. We will seek Ruahk’s will for a holy site for her to seek her destiny.” He seemed to defy anyone to oppose him.
No one did.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN