by Brie Paisley
I reach over and grab his hand. I squeeze it, my way of thanking him, because he’s right. I’m not the same lost and hopeless woman I was months ago. I feel like I’m finally finding my own way. My way to Carter, to freedom, and to being happy. “I did cry about it,” I tell him and let out a small laugh.
“It would surprise me if you didn’t, Shel. He told some heavy truth in his letter. You know, you really never do cease to amaze me.” I feel my face flush at his compliment, and he reaches over to tuck my hair behind my ear. “You know I love seeing you blush for me.”
“Carter,” I shyly say and playfully slap his hand away.
He laughs, then his face turns serious. “So, I’m with a millionaire now. Should we go out and buy us a mansion?”
I snort loudly, which causes both of us to burst out in laughter. My laughter dies down before his and I say, “That’s the one thing I didn’t understand.” He frowns, and I add, “I never got any money. At least, not that I can remember. My tuition was paid for by scholarships. I had a full ride for the full four years.”
Carter rubs his chin, seeming deep in thought. “You didn’t sign anything while you were married?” I shake my head because I honestly can’t recall signing away one and a half million dollars. “Okay, I need you to think back. When you left, did your mother have you sign anything and not read it?”
I suck in a breath and close my eyes as I try to recall that day. I remember nothing but being hurt and utterly broken. I dig deeper, knowing the truth has to be somewhere in my memories. When I came home the next day, Mom was in the living room on the phone, and once she saw me, she smiled. I thought it was creepy, but then again, I knew she loved to watch me suffer. I remember her asking me tons of questions, drilling me really, about what had happened. I broke down and told her, thinking just once, one fucking time, she’d be a mother I needed. Instead, she told me it would be best for me to leave and start over in South Carolina. She said she knew Carter would end up hurting me, and he’d never take me back. Her words worked. She made my choice to leave that much easier, and I went directly to my room to pack. I recall her coming into my room asking me to sign some paper. I cannot remember what it was, but she was adamant about me signing it. In my emotional state, I jerked the paper out of her hand and signed my name. I tossed it back to her and went back to packing.
I snap my eyes open and look at Carter. “I did sign something. It was right after you and I broke up and I was a fucking wreck. She kept badgering me about signing the paper, and oh God, I didn’t read it.”
Carter gets out of his chair and sits on his knees in front of me. He takes my hand, careful not to take the one still holding Dad’s letter, and says, “It’s okay, Shel. We’re going to figure this out, I promise. I know Henry, and I can call him right now to figure out what happened.”
“It’s not about the money to me.” I pause for a minute as I compose my thoughts. I don’t care about the money at all. “I’d rather have exactly what I have now, than be the richest person in town. I just want to know what happened to it. If I knew, maybe I could get it back and donate it to a charity or, I don’t know do something good with it?”
“I know where your heart is, Shel. I know you just want to figure out what happened, and why your mother tricked you. I’m positive she had you sign over the benefits to her, but we can try and prove she did without your knowledge. It’ll be hard since it was so long ago, but I’ll call Henry and we’ll go from there okay?”
I place my hand on his cheek as I softly say, “Thank you, Carter. I really have no idea what I would do if I didn’t have you in my life. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” He smiles at me, and I lean down to thank him properly. It never fails. Every time I kiss him, he takes my breath away. Makes my heart beat faster, and makes my stomach flutter as if I’m about to fly away.
His thumb rubs my face as he takes my lips, but he doesn’t let the kiss go too far. He slowly pulls away, groaning, as he says, “I really don’t want to scar Mary.”
I laugh, saying, “No. I wouldn’t be able to look at her the same.” As much as I would love for him to take me on his desk, I’m not willing to risk the embarrassment afterward. Plus Carter’s office isn’t sound proof.
Carter gives me one more peck on my lips, then stands. He holds out a hand, and I place mine in his as pulls me out of the chair. “I’ll walk you out.” I nod, and let him lead me out of his office. Once we get outside, he says, “We’ll figure out what happened to your Dad’s money. I promise I’ll get to the bottom of it.”
“I know you will, Carter.” And he will. Carter knows how much it means to me to find out why Mom stole from me, and no matter what, I can always depend on Carter to help me along the way.
Carter and I have spent every second together for the holidays and of course, we had more than a few laughs at the Harlow Christmas dinner. Carter spent way too much money on me as far as presents go, but I showed him many times just how much I loved them. Now it’s January, and it’s a new start for us. I feel it, and I don’t even try to question it. Even though Carter hasn’t made a lot of progress with figuring out what’s going on with Dad’s money, I know he tries almost every day to put the puzzle together. At this point, I’ve decided not to worry about it anymore. I still wish I knew what happened to the money, but at the same time, I don’t need it. I have everything I could ever want, and if I never find out what happened, then I’ll be okay with it. Carter also helped me go through the items in the attic of my old home, and now I have more pictures of Dad. There wasn’t much to go through. It was mostly old toys of mine that I donated to the Salvation Army, some ratted old clothes, and tons albums of Dad’s family. I kept what I could, mainly the photos, and now I feel as though I can move forward with my life. I’ve come a long ways from my old self, and I know this is just another step in the right direction.
I can’t remember the last time I was so blissfully happy, but I don’t over think it. I’m going with it and holding onto my happiness tightly. Which is why when I pull up at Annie and William’s after my shift at the Waffle House, my heart sinks. I park William’s truck by the silver Lexus letting it idle for a few moments, wondering if my eyes are playing tricks on me. They have to be because there’s no way Mother is sitting on the porch swing. When she waves at me, I know I’m not dreaming. I pinch my arm just to be one hundred percent sure. I take in a much needed breath, and turn off the truck getting out shortly after.
I slam the truck door shut, and notice Annie’s car isn’t in the driveway. I’m guessing Annie and William are gone, which is why Mom is sitting outside. I know Annie doesn’t care for my mother, but she’d never leave her sitting outside. Annie is just too nice to be rude to anyone, no matter how much she doesn’t like them. I slowly make my way to the porch already dreading her visit. It can’t mean anything good, and I thank God Carter will be here soon. He’s off today, but he’s with Caden and Cason, helping them move new furniture into their apartment. I’m really not sure why. Carter mentioned something about Caden and fire, and I knew it wasn’t anything serious since Caden wasn’t in the hospital.
I walk up the steps to the porch, but I don’t make a move to go inside the house. Annie might be a nicer person than I am, but I refuse to let my horrid mother inside their home. “What are you doing here?”
“Can’t a mother come visit her only child?”
I’m not stupid to think she really wants to actually visit me other than for a reason. I mean nothing to her, and she’s done nothing but show me that my entire life. “Just tell me why you’re here.” I’m not playing into her childish games. You’d think for a woman in her early fifties, she’d be a bit more mature, but no. She makes sixteen year olds look like the damn Dalai Lama.
She rolls her eyes and fluffs her hair over her shoulder saying, “Honestly, Shelby. I don’t know why I even bother with you.” I clench my jaw, trying to reign in my anger. I don’t want to end up in jail for punching her, but it’s
getting hard not to give into it. “I know you’ve had your boy toy looking into your father’s account.”
I frown, wondering how she knew about that. “Does privacy mean nothing to you? What gives you the right to check on anything I do, and do not call Carter that.”
“I know everything that goes on in this shit town. Haven’t you figured it out already? Henry’s an old friend, one that still falls to his knees when I say so.”
Oh, God, I’m going to be sick. I grimace, trying not vomit all over the porch. “I’d rather not have that mental picture thank you. And what does it matter if I’m checking into Dad’s accounts? It was my money. I should know what happened to one and a half million dollars, don’t you think?”
“Always such a child,” she sneers as she moves off the swing. “You know, you’re nothing but disappointment after disappointment. You could’ve had anything you wanted, but no. You couldn’t handle anything that was given to you.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I’m seriously considering her having some sort of mental illness at this point. She keeps talking in code, and I have no clue what she’s getting at.
“Do you really want the truth?”
“I already know the truth. I found Dad’s letter.”
“And you really think that’s all of it?” Please tell me there’s not more to it. I can’t handle any more revelations. When I don’t say anything, she takes it as her cue to fill me in. “You think it was a coincidence you met Easton? You think everything you’ve been through is by sheer chance?”
I step back, her words cutting me open. Slashing every wound I thought had healed. No, she wants me to bleed. I shake my head saying, “No, you wouldn’t be that cruel.”
She laughs as I back into the front door. I don’t know who this woman is standing in front of me. She’s not my Mother. I have no fucking idea who she is. “This is comical really. But yes it’s true. Once Carter finally figured out you were nothing but trash, I made you sign over all the money your father gave you, and you didn’t even know!” She lets out a laugh, one that sounds like she’s happy with herself, and she finds this situation hilarious. I don’t see anything funny about any of this, and I have a feeling it’s only going to get worse.
“Easton and I knew each other long before you ran off to college, and you know how much his family is worth.” Tears swell in my eyes hearing her tell me all of it. Every single thing my mother has ever done has been for herself. “Of course, Easton couldn’t marry me because his parents wouldn’t approve of my age, but you were quite the bargaining chip. You see, Easton was my toy. My shiny new pet that I loved to play with, but sadly some toys must be put away. Then there was the fact that I had some pretty hefty dirt on him. He was willing to do anything and everything I asked. That included giving me anything and everything I wanted.” Her face turns cold, hard, and the viciousness in her eyes make my breath catch in my throat. “Then you fucked everything up. Easton was more than happy to marry you, and let me keep the money, but no. He had to go and fall in love with you. I knew if he started to care for you, he wouldn’t let me get that money your father tried so hard to keep from me. I had no choice, but to intervene and make him realize what you really are.”
It’s all making sense now. Why in the beginning Easton was so nice and caring to me, then as soon as she came, he changed into a man I didn’t recognize. “That’s why you came. That’s why you both broke me down to my weakest point. All for fucking money, that I didn’t even know about, or even wanted. Why would you do that! I’m your daughter, your only child. How can you be so damn cruel?” I hate how weak and sad my voice sounds, but this hurts. It cuts me straight to my damaged soul, making those wounds bigger than before.
She steps closer to me as she says harshly, “I didn’t even want you! I begged your father to let me abort you, but no. He had to have his precious baby. You fucked up my life, and I was just taking what I was owed. You don’t think I didn’t see how much your father loved you? He adored you, and he forgot all about me. I was left alone with no one because of you!”
“Let me guess. You thought the best way to punish Dad and me was to manipulate my entire life, solely for your benefit? All because of the money?”
She points a finger in my face as she declares, “Of course for the money! I didn’t give a damn about you, or your father. He was a nice distraction, and of course I loved how he used to give me everything I wanted. My life was perfect until I got pregnant with you. But then you ran away like a child, and Easton stopped giving me what I wanted. I want what’s mine, Shelby. Don’t you dare say you didn’t love all the lavish gifts Easton gave you. All those beautiful parties, all the pampering, and how much he doted on you.”
Her hand falls as I shake my head. “I never cared about the money! If anything, I felt like someone else, someone shallow, and selfish. That’s not me, Mother. I would’ve traded every bit of that if I knew I could have what I do now back then.”
“You really are pathetic, aren’t you?” She rolls her eyes at me again, and I’m about to tell her to leave when she says, “No matter. It’s time to grow up, and take responsibility.”
“Excuse me?”
“Come on, Shelby. It’s time to go back home, and makeup with Easton.”
My eyes widen, shocked, she would even think of this. “You have got to be fucking joking. Why would I ever go back to him?”
“Because I told you to. Because you’re his wife, and he wants you back.” My heart begins to pound, feeling the fear taking over. Just thinking about going back to him makes me sick to my stomach. I won’t do it. I can’t do it. “Don’t fight me on this. Go pack your things. We’re leaving.”
“No, I won’t go back to him. Did you forget about me divorcing him? I’m no longer his wife. I know all you want is another paycheck, but I refuse to leave with you.”
She laughs, a disturbing sound, as she says, “You don’t have a choice! Easton may have given up on you, but I will not let you run away and take everything away from me again.” I don’t really know what comes over me after she says this. Something in me snaps, and I release a deep laugh. I don’t hold it back. I laugh loudly, as if what she wants is the most hilarious thing I’ve ever heard. I bend at my waist, holding my sides, as my laugh rolls through me. It’s freeing actually. The fear, the pain I felt, and the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach vanishes with my laugh. “What’s so funny?”
I slowly rise, wiping my eyes, as I tell her, “You, Mother. You really think I’d ever go back to Easton?” I shake my head smiling as I say, “If you think that for one second, you need fucking help. I will never ever go back to him, or to South Carolina. I don’t give a damn what you want. I’m finally happy here. Finally living my life the way I want to, and I will be damned if you will come here and mess this up for me.” She starts to cut me off but I hold up my hand as I narrow my eyes at her. She quickly shuts her mouth, and I can tell I’m still shocking her of how I’m acting. I’m done letting this woman control me. “I’m done, Mother. Never in my life have you given a single thought about me. Not once have you cared about my wellbeing, or if the choices you make will affect me. You’re selfish, ruthless, and you manipulate everyone around you. I’ve done enough for you, and I cannot believe you would even think I would endure all I did again! All my life I knew you hated me. I knew you never cared how I was teased as a child, made fun of because I wasn’t like everyone else, and that’s all your fault!” I step closer to her as I say through clenched teeth, “If you dare to try and mess up what I have right now, I swear I will make you regret it. I’m done with you or anything to do with you. You’re just another sad, lonely, gold-digging whore, and I never want to see you again.” All the anger from my entire life fuels me, giving me the courage to stand up to her for once. Her words may hurt and they may make me doubt myself, but I won’t let her know that. She’s not going to control me, or influence me anymore. I can’t guarantee Easton won’t come back, but I have a feeling
he won’t. He got everything, and I’m sure by now, he’s found someone else to degrade. She just wants me to go back to make me suffer for her own sick ways.
She finally finds her bearings, and she does exactly what I knew she would. “That was a very touching speech, but you forgot one thing.”
“I’m sure you’re going to tell me whether or not I want to know,” I say, preparing myself for her harsh words that I know are coming.
“Yes, I will tell you because you need to hear them. You’ve seemed to have forgotten your place.” She smirks, a disgusting look shining in her eyes, as she says, “No matter what you do or wherever you are, everyone around you will see what you really are. You’re just a sad pathetic little girl. You’re nothing, but a worthless piece of trash.” She shakes her head, as if she can’t believe she’s even looking at me. “You’ll never amount to anything, and I’ve never been so disappointed in you.” I suck in a breath, slowly letting it out. This is nothing I haven’t heard before. In fact, she and Easton used to say the same things to me on a daily basis. The only difference now, I won’t believe it. I refuse to let these words affect me, and change who I am just so she’ll accept me. I’m sick and tired of trying to gain her affections, and for her to finally start being how a mother should. I don’t need her in my life anymore. I don’t really know why I spent so much time and effort trying to make her proud of me, but I know now that I never needed it. She’s shown me so many times she doesn’t give two shits about me, or about my happiness.
I really think the biggest shocker to her is when I don’t respond. I show zero emotions, even if I’m ready to run away from her. It’s taking everything in me to stay and listen to her. I don’t lower my eyes like I use to. Thankfully, my eyes don’t swell with tears. I don’t plead for her to stop with her hateful words, and think about me like I use to. I don’t do anything to show her I care about what she says, and when I see Carter’s truck pull up, a grin forms on my face.