by Kat T. Masen
Alistair yells for the final round, which is met with a lot of boos. I bring my phone closer to me, the blurry screen appearing to be after two in the morning.
Ava slides another glass to me, despite my focus being questionable and words slurred.
“So, where to now?” she whines with a frown. “I’m not ready for bed.”
“I don’t want to be alone tonight,” I tell her honestly, downing the whisky in one go. I’d become immune, there no longer being a burn.
“Let’s go to your place?”
I turn to face her, tilting my head. “My place?”
“Look, I would offer my place, but that’s only if you don’t mind watching two men fucking each other?”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Yes, Austin. I said it. A penis in another man’s asshole. So, your place?”
I don’t even know where to begin with that conversation, assuming she lives with gay roommates, but who gives a fuck—my place isn’t far, which is a bonus.
We stumble because walking would be a far cry from how we get home. The only thing which keeps us alive and protected from dying of hyperthermia is our duet of “Islands in the Stream.” A few homeless people shout, telling us to shut up.
When we finally reach my apartment, it’s slightly better but still cold. I turn on the heat and yell out for Jonah, my roommate, but remember he was at some party tonight.
“This is your place?” Ava questions while removing her jacket and throwing it on the sofa. “It’s cute.”
I laugh, almost stumbling on my own feet, to which I hold onto the wall for balance.
“Cute? I should probably be offended.”
“Okay, small. But hey, I get it. You’re a doctor and probably barely spend time here.” Ava giggles, letting out a hiccup. “I’m guessing your refrigerator has only Chinese takeout boxes.”
“Far from the truth,” I contest.
She opens the door, her eyes widening because Chinese take-out isn’t something I enjoy unless absolutely necessary. Jonah is a gym buff, and he doesn’t consume anything unless it comes in a shake.
“Okay, who’s the health nut? And is that Kale I see?”
“As you said, Miss Edwards, I am a doctor. I kind of know the importance of taking care of my body.”
Ava closes the refrigerator door, then glances my way with a simper.
“I can tell.” She nods, biting her bottom lip. “You look good. Though, you’ve always looked good. Guess I couldn’t admit that before without being crucified, huh?”
I lean against the wall, crossing my arms with a grin. “You’re not so bad yourself.”
“I’m old,” she blurts out.
“Old? Come on, Ava. You’re gorgeous. Like a fine wine that gets better with age.”
“You’re just saying that because you’re standing with me inside your kitchen. I’m washed up. A potential has-been. Everyone wants younger women. I’m not even good enough that my boyfriend had to go fuck some other guy.”
She rests against the refrigerator, closing her eyes. The fabric of the silk dress she wears clings to her curves, and it’s confirmed under this lighting—there’s no bra. Don’t even think about it.
“Ava, what’s going on?”
“I don’t know anymore.” She lowers her head, unable to look at me. “I am nothing.”
Moving closer to her, I raise her chin with my finger. As I stare into her eyes, I remember all the times we were together, from back in high school to the big moments when Millie was around. Ava is gorgeous and always has been. I’m not one to compare her to her sister, but all four Edwards daughters are absolutely stunning in their own right.
And yes, if the truth were to be told, there were moments which passed between us. But like anything forbidden, you back off to avoid dangerous territory.
“You, Ava, are worth everything. So, you’re not a teenager? You’re a beautiful twenty-five-year-old woman who any man would be lucky to have.”
My gaze falls momentarily toward her lips, pink and supple, but I scold myself for pushing the boundaries, knowing we shouldn’t even be doing this.
“Austin,” she croaks.
I breathe, swallowing the lump inside my throat to answer with a simple. “Yes?”
Ava’s shoulders curl over her chest, her bottom lip now trembling. “If any man is lucky to have me, why am I alone tonight?”
“You’re not alone,” I remind her with a low voice, struggling to control my urge to prove her wrong. My fingertip grazes the strap of her dress as I see her suck in a breath.
“No, I’m not…alone,” she manages to let out.
“Ava…”
“Austin,” she counters breathlessly. “Choose me, please. Just for tonight.”
I raise my eyes to meet hers, begging myself to do the right thing but slowly losing the battle as she becomes too irresistible with her plea. Don’t do it. Think of the consequences.
Fuck the consequences.
My lips crash onto hers as my body grows hot and feverish. She moans in my mouth, running her hands through the back of my hair. My hands wrap beneath her legs as I carry her toward my room, laying her flat on the bed. As I climb on top of her, pressing against her body, we lose ourselves in heated kisses, barely able to come up for air.
Her skin tastes of sin, an addictive taste I can’t seem to get enough of. It’s forbidden, because she’s my ex-fiancée’s sister. But the dangerous position we find ourselves in only adds to the adrenaline rush overcoming me. My kisses consume every groove and crevice, desperate to continue the deep moans she expels.
Pressing my cock against her, I’m eager to remove my pants and be inside her as if my life depends on it, but instead, I drag her strap down, exposing her beautiful tits in the pale moonlight that filters through the window.
My thirst to taste them becomes my only focus as I run my tongue down until I circle her nipples, causing her back to arch. They’re so fucking sexy, firm, and round, fitting in my hand perfectly. Desperate to remove my jeans, I manage to drag them off with my boxers, allowing my cock to spring free.
Ava breathes heavily, sliding her hand between us to grasp my shaft. The moment her soft fingers wrap around me, my body jerks with a long-winded groan escaping my dry mouth. Slowly, she begins stroking me, but I warn her we need protection, despite our inability to think straight and fuck like maniacs.
Leaning over, I pull my nightstand drawer open to retrieve a condom. In the dark, I fumble with the corner of the packet, ripping it open and sliding it on within a matter of seconds. This isn’t my first rodeo, and I’ve mastered the art to protect myself in record time.
“Ava,” I call softly, giving her a chance to pull away. “Are you sure? Once we do this, we can’t undo it.”
“No one has to know,” she whispers, cupping my face in her hands while bringing me in for a deep kiss. “It’s just between us.”
Her confidence erases my hesitation. It will be our little secret.
Dirty, raw, and completely off-limits.
As I enter her, she gasps loudly, beautiful as she lies beneath me. I’m unable to control my movements, desperate to finish but wanting to savor the moment.
I shift my body, wanting to see her on top of me, so she’s riding me with her tits in full view. My hands fall behind my back, watching her with a heated stare as I lick my lips, desperate to bite her nipples which stand erect.
“Austin,” she moans. “Don’t stop, please.”
Even if I try, I can’t, so far beyond thinking rationally. I wrap my hand around her nape, pulling her down to taste her lips. They’re soft, sweet, and taste so damn irresistible. But even in the dark room, with barely any light to cast our shadows, I’m drawn to Ava’s movements. The tilt of her head, the veins in her neck while she continues to call my name.
The way she makes me feel like a man.
Resistance is futile, and I want her in every way possible. I want to own her, only for this moment, determined to fu
lfill this newly created fantasy.
I demand she gets on all fours.
It’s time to give her what she wants.
My hands firmly grip her hips, thrusting in and out as my eyes shut, barely able to control the urge to come. Within minutes, Ava’s body tenses, and she calls out my name while coming, pushing me over the edge. The heated rush spreads all over my body, impairing my vision to become a burst of stars like a sky full of fireworks. My grunts slow down while I try to catch my breath until the only sound in the room is our heavy breathing as we both come down from the high.
Sliding myself out of her, I gently remove the condom and toss it in the trash near the nightstand. Unable to find any energy, I fall onto the bed beside her, the two of us silent until Ava sits up.
“I should go home.” She attempts to stand but loses her balance. I pull her back into the bed, knowing we’ve both had too much to drink to go anywhere or do anything else.
“You’re drunk, and it wouldn’t be safe. Stay here.”
“But…”
“But what?” I demand, thinking how unsafe it is outside on the streets right now. Throw in the fact that she’s a beautiful woman. There’s no chance in hell I’ll allow it. “You’re staying here, and that’s final.”
“Okay,” she agrees, keeping it simple. “Hey, Austin? Happy New Year.”
I close my eyes with a grin, but my head begins to spin as the night finally catches up with me. My lips move as I mumble the sentiment in return, but then it all becomes too much, and sleep is imminent. I turn to my side, making myself comfortable, and welcome her warm body beside me.
“Good night, Ava,” I whisper, then reach out to pull her body close to me.
She doesn’t pull away nor say another word. And before I can even speak, she is fast asleep in my arms, her gentle snores like music to my ears.
It’s just one night. That’s all it’ll ever be.
Our secret.
One night between two people who desperately needed only one thing.
Companionship.
Four
Ava
My head is pounding like a woodpecker constantly banging one spot.
Unable to open my eyes, they feel like they’re sewn together, impossible to open the lead weight—ramifications from last night’s events whatever they were.
I can’t even think without it all hurting.
With a slight groan, I rub my eyes before opening them again, slowly, to be met with daylight. The sun is shining through the windows, something I’d normally enjoy but not this morning. I sit up, trying to make sense of everything.
I know the pounding head is because of the alcohol I consumed last night, but I don’t recall how I got home or who I came home with.
The sheets against my bare skin are unfamiliar, cheap in texture, unlike the Egyptian cotton sheets which adorn my king-size bed. My mother taught me to spare no expense when it came to bed linen. A good night's rest is the best way to start the day, according to her.
So is having someone between your legs, for argument's sake.
Using every muscle in my body to sit up, I let out another groan until my eyes snap open. Slowly, I turn to my right, my gaze landing on the exposed torso cut to definition. The pit of my stomach churns as my eyes gravitate to the face of the man beside me.
“Shit,” I mumble, followed by a hard swallow.
Austin’s eyes flutter, and as they open wide, they focus on me in a dazed state.
I pull the sheet up, covering my breasts, aware I’m stark naked.
“Ava,” he croaks, then clears his throat. “Why are… oh shit.”
He covers his face with his hands, rubbing it vigorously while letting out a sigh. The memory of last night is hazed, though pieces fall into place of just how intimate we were. Me, in bed with a man who is my sister’s ex-fiancé. What a terrible way to ring in the new year, certain that all the bad luck of yesterday was a warning of things to come.
I clutch the sheet tighter, my back still exposed. Then, in a panicked state, I scour the area around me for my clothes, spotting them across the room. Great, if I take the sheet with me, chances are Austin will be completely naked as well.
“So…” I drag, fiddling with a loose thread on the end of the sheet. “We um…”
“I think so. I mean, yes.”
“I… I…” My words stumble, still shocked at the situation I’ve found myself in. “I was upset.”
“Me too,” he lowers his voice.
I turn to face his direction, waiting for him to elaborate, only to be met with an awkward silence. “You were? I mean, I vaguely remember when you walked into the bar, your eyes were bloodshot.”
“A patient died in the ER yesterday.”
“I’m sorry.”
“He was a kid.”
My stomach becomes even heavier, a wave of nausea causing me to shiver.
“How awful. Understandably, you’re upset,” I say softly, unsure how to express my emotions right now. I duck my chin, licking my lips to quench my dry mouth and feeling somewhat vulnerable as we continue to be in the same bed. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that, Austin. I feel terrible for pushing you to party last night.”
“No, Ava,” he mentions with a slightly annoyed tone. “You were exactly what I needed. The thing is, there is nothing anyone could’ve done in that room to save him. We did everything we were trained to do, but I questioned my ability and if I have what it takes to practice medicine for the rest of my life. And then, you’re there, inside an Irish bar, of all places.”
“But…” I trail off, unsure how to bring up the predicament we find ourselves in. “We ended up here, in bed.”
“We did.”
I’m distracted by how amazing his body looks as he lays with his head resting on his arm, staring at the ceiling. Beneath the sheet, my nipples harden, making me conscious. This is all kinds of wrong. I barely remember last night. I was so drunk, and while bits and pieces are clearer than others, I couldn’t even answer who made the first move. Not that it matters now, the damage is done.
My shoulders weigh heavy as the guilt sets in. Austin is Millie’s ex-fiancé. How is she going to react when she hears I slept with him? You don’t tell her, idiot.
“I’m going to use your bathroom.”
I drag the sheet with me, refusing to turn around in case I catch a glimpse of him completely exposed. As I assume he’s getting dressed, he shuffles behind me, then I lean down to retrieve my clothes from the bedroom floor.
The moment the bathroom door closes, my stomach makes a churning sound, but I manage to suppress the feeling of being sick. Instead, I quickly make my way to the basin, turning on the faucet to run some water to wash my face. After a few splashes, I grab some tissues and wipe my face down. As I stare at my reflection in the mirror, the dark circles around my eyes make me look like a zombie. In my entire life, I don’t think I’ve ever looked so worn out, both physically and emotionally.
My hands clutch onto the basin as I drop my head and close my eyes for just a moment. Yesterday started a chain of reactions from the moment I was told my services were no longer needed. From that moment, the Universe had it in for me—of that, I’m sure. It’s obvious in my previous life, I had pissed someone off.
But then, Austin’s voice replays in my head. “A patient died in the ER yesterday, a kid.”
My eyes snap wide open as my stare fixates on the mirror. I take a deep breath before dressing in my clothes, then leave the bathroom.
When I enter the room again, Austin is wearing sweats and a tee. His hair is a wild mess yet beautifully sitting on his head like it’s been styled to portray a bad boy in a photoshoot. The only thing is, Austin is anything but a bad boy. Instead, he’s a kind, loving, intelligent man—who would never purposely hurt any woman.
The perfect catch if he wasn’t my sister's ex.
“Listen, I should go.”
“Ava, what happened last night can stay between us. Nob
ody has to know. Nobody needs to know.”
I nod, torn between my conscience and why a part of me wanted to stay. To feel loved, if only for a minute.
“You’re right. No one has to know. It was just one night, and we were both hurting.”
“Will you be okay?”
“Me?” I force a smile, then glance at him one more time before he moves closer to me, and we’re only inches apart. “You know me. I’m good at smiling for the camera.”
He laces his hand around my neck to draw me in, planting a kiss on my forehead. His lips linger, and just for a moment, I wonder what it would be like. But the thoughts are like poison to my already fragile ego. “Thank you for last night.”
“Anytime,” I whisper, then laugh softly. “I mean, not anytime, but you know what I mean.”
Slowly, he pulls away though his stare continues to drill deep inside my soul. While lost in thought, the momentary silence is the closure we both need to say goodbye once and for all.
My feet move slowly toward the door when Austin calls out, “Ava?”
I turn around. “Yeah?”
“For what it’s worth, it was good.”
“Just good?” I question with a sly grin.
“If I tell the truth, chances are, I’ll drag you back in here.” His smirk is unrelenting, the perfect mix of naughty and nice. “Take care, okay?”
“I will, Austin. And you too.”
As I close the door, I release the breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding in. Outside, the air is cold as I button up my coat and extend my arm to hail the cab not too far in the distance. The cab ride of shame back to my apartment feels slow and tedious despite the empty streets after a night of celebrations.
When I’m finally standing outside my door, the reality of what lies on the other side begins to stir unwanted feelings of resentment.
I had it all—fame, money, a sexy boyfriend.
But I’m all alone, now.
And that hits harder than the sight of Olivier’s things gone from our bedroom.
My heels click against the marble floors as I exit the elevator and enter the lobby. It’s the first day back in the office after the four-day holiday weekend, and my mood has shifted from feeling sorry for myself to just angry at life in general. During the time alone, I made up a lie to everyone saying I’d come down with a head cold—a great excuse to avoid calls and messages because I needed sleep.