“Don’t mention it, Julie. Ethan said you were having a bad day. Kavan’s with the guys watching some car race, so I thought I’d give you a call.”
Her eyes burned. “Ethan’s there, too.”
“How are you?”
She chewed her bottom lip. “Fine. Doing fine.”
“Do you want to talk about the other night?”
Julie smiled, remembering when Elizabeth came to White Birch almost two years ago, driven and determined to go to grad school but falling in love with Kavan instead.
What was it I told her? Marriage is pleasant, safe, and wonderful. Now she’s moving on, having children, living my life. “Nothing to say right now, Beth, but—” She lost control of her voice for a moment. “I’m sure we’ll be talking later.”
“You know my number.”
Being keenly aware of Elizabeth’s happiness only highlighted Julie’s disappointment. Taking a deep breath, she cleared the frog from her throat and said, “I never told you congratulations.”
“Thank you.” Elizabeth’s words bubbled. “We weren’t planning on it. You know what they say. It happens when you least expect it.”
That’s what they say. “A child is a blessing at any time. Expected or not.”
“It took awhile to get used to the idea, but now I can’t imagine anything else.”
Julie rode the wave of Elizabeth’s jubilant emotion. “How wonderful.”
“To think I wanted to be a nuclear engineer. This is way better. I mean, Julie, I’m going to be a mom. Me.” Elizabeth chortled.
For a split second, Julie contemplated telling her the news but decided against it. It would only make Elizabeth feel bad.
A long pause lingered between them. Think of something to say, Julie.
“We should have your baby shower at Grandma Betty’s.” The words popped out of her mouth before her brain had time to process them.
“Oh, wouldn’t that be lovely?”
“Yes, it would.” Julie rested her forehead in her hand.
“You are my closest girlfriend, Julie. You’re family, too, but my best friend in White Birch.”
Julie straightened and inhaled slowly. “Well, then we should plan a spring shower.”
Elizabeth giggled. “That’s funny. A spring shower.”
“A spring shower?” Julie didn’t understand. Oh, a spring shower. “Yes, that’s funny.”
“Hey, Julie, I have a little pun in the oven.” Elizabeth laughed heartily at her joke.
Julie laughed with her. “May you and your pun do well. Meanwhile, I’ll talk to Grandma. I’m sure Elle would like to help—and Ethan’s mom.”
They chatted about registering for gifts and compared baby showers they loved with the ones they hated.
When Julie finally said good-bye, she let the tears flow. “Lord, will it ever not hurt?”
She yanked a couple of tissues from the box on the breakfast nook, feeling as if the dark cloud over her would never dissipate. I need some sunshine in my life.
When she stooped to toss her tissues in the trash, a brightly colored newspaper ad caught her eye. Ethan had stacked Sunday’s paper by the garbage, ready for recycling.
Wiping her eyes, she picked up the folded broadsheet and read. Why not? She thought for another second. Should I? Ethan would be shocked. She glanced at the color ad again. With a pound of her palm on the countertop, she decided. I’m taking control of my life, at least where I can. I’m going to do it.
Snatching up the phone, she thought for another second, then dialed Sophia.
“Come pick me up.” Her car sat dead in the cinema parking lot.
“Why? Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
❧
Ethan, Kavan, Will, and Bobby found a booth at the diner.
“I’m having one of Sam’s cheeseburgers,” Will said without reaching for the menu. “And a sundae for dessert.”
“In my dreams.” Bobby opened his menu. “Elle has me on a diet.”
“I’ll have a salad.” Ethan glanced between Will and Bobby’s identical faces, then at Kavan. “Don’t tell me Elizabeth has you on a diet.”
Kavan shook his head. “Gentlemen, my wife is pregnant. Right now, the sight of food makes her sick. I only eat when I’m not with her.”
They were empathizing with Kavan when Jarred Hansen came for their order.
“Do you believe that’s our production supervisor’s grandson?” Ethan motioned toward the young man.
Bobby nodded. “They grow up fast.”
“Speaking of growing up fast, aren’t you and Julie ready to bless us with a Lambert baby?” Will asked.
Bobby added, “We thought you’d have two or three by now.”
Will stacked the menus behind the salt and pepper rack. “I can’t believe you let Elizabeth and Kavan beat you to it.”
Kavan scoffed. “I didn’t know there was a competition, but believe me, we didn’t think we’d start a family so soon.”
Ethan unrolled the napkin from his fork, spoon, and knife. The table talk pinged the deep recesses of his heart and returned a sad sensation. “Guess it’s not our time.”
Should I tell them? He glanced at their faces, thought of Julie, and decided against it. It didn’t seem fair to take the focus from Elizabeth and Kavan. Besides, they had yet to tell each set of parents.
Not ready to break the news to his mother-in-law, Ethan knew Sandy meant well, but she set too many of her hopes in Julie.
“Forget babies.” Bobby grinned at Ethan and Kavan and leaned against the back of the booth. “Will, when are you going to find a nice girl, settle down, get married?”
A crimson hue colored Will’s cheeks, and it wasn’t from the heat of the diner.
Ethan laughed. “Give him a break, Bobby. He’s got to go on a date before he can get married.”
Jarred interrupted with their order.
“Thank you, my man, just in time.” Will reached for his soda and took a deep sip.
When Jarred left, Ethan asked, “Didn’t you have a thing for his aunt? What was her name?”
“Taylor.” Bobby shot out her name like he’d been thinking the same thing.
Ethan nodded. “That’s right. Taylor. What ever happened with her, Will?”
“She got a life. Which I suggest both of you do.”
Laughter rippled around the table, and the conversation turned to town happenings and Lambert’s Furniture.
“Tomorrow I’ll have the contract for the new warehouse construction signed,” Ethan told Will, stabbing a forkful of salad.
Will waved a french fry at him. “Good. We need that warehouse to get under way the first of spring. The VP of sales tells me summer is going to be busy.”
Ethan looked at Bobby. “Is that so, VP of sales?”
Bobby nodded. “If we land every deal we’re working, it’ll be a record sales year.”
“Sounds like Grandpa’s business is doing well,” Kavan noted.
“Grandpa never dreamed his furniture ideas would turn to this,” Will said.
Talk of Grandpa reminded Ethan. “Have any of you heard of Lambert’s Code?”
Bobby creased his brow, thinking. “I’ve heard Grandpa mention it but don’t know the definition.”
Kavan shrugged. “I’ve been around the Lambert household most of my life, and I’ve heard Grandpa mention ‘The Code,’ but that’s all I know.”
“Same here,” Will said. “Pass the ketchup.”
Ethan slid the red bottle Will’s way. “He and Grandma said something about submitting to one another?”
“You got me.”
“Guess it’s up to me to crack the code.” Ethan looked at their faces.
“Ethan Lambert, 007.” Bobby said in a deep voice.
The men laughed.
“All right, leave it to me.” Ethan pointed at them with his fork. Most of the time, he thought he had a great relationship with Julie. Though these days, they did seem to live life fro
m a different game book.
But they’d been busy. She completed grad school and started teaching. He took over the production department for the family business. She started teaching private lessons. He learned golf.
Lambert’s Code, he thought. Submit to one another. Lord, show me how.
Jarred brought Will’s sundae just as Ethan’s cell rang. “Hello?”
“Ethan, Steve Tripleton. I’m putting the final plans together for Costa Rica. Are you still interested?”
“Absolutely.” Ethan smiled. Five days of paradise. How could he say no?
“Excellent.” Steve listed the April dates and told Ethan his travel agents would book the flight. “What about your cousin?”
Ethan rapped his knuckles on the table to get Will’s attention. “Do you want to go on that Costa Rica golf excursion?”
Will nodded. “I’ll leave Bobby in charge of Lambert’s Furniture.”
“Sure, leave me holding the bag.”
Ethan grinned. “Yes, Steve, Will’s in.”
When he hung up, Bobby and Kavan quizzed him. “You’re golfing in Costa Rica? Does Julie know?”
“Not yet.”
“Not yet? You just committed.” Bobby shook his head.
“Don’t worry, Bob. She’ll be fine with it.”
“Elle would be livid if I planned a trip like that without talking to her first.”
Kavan slapped him a high five. “I’ve only been married a year, but I know better than that.”
Ethan scoffed. “Please, Julie understands. Besides, she’s my wife, not my mom.”
“I can’t imagine Julie’s going to pat you on the head and say, ‘Have a nice time.’ ” Bobby eyed Ethan as he dropped a few bills on the table. “Dinner is on me today.”
Kavan laughed, clapping Ethan on the back as they slid out of the booth. “That may be the last kind thing that happens to you today.”
“Come on, you guys, you’re overreacting.” Ethan waved at Sam and Jarred as they exited, wrestling with the twinge of conviction.
Ten
Julie stood back, hands on her hips, adrenaline pumping. “Should I do it, Sophie?”
The lithe blond puckered her lips. “Yes, you deserve a new car.”
“I do, don’t I?” Julie walked around the two-seater sports car. It was a little expensive, but not much more than the van Ethan considered buying if they had children.
But we aren’t having children. In the past three years, they’d spent the price of the car trying to conceive. Might as well have something to show for the money we spent.
She looked at Sophia. “Do I do it?”
“Yes. It’s last year’s model, you’re getting a great deal, and it’s an incredible car.” Sophia held up her fingers as she ticked off her reasons.
Julie shrugged with excitement and walked around the car. “It’s a gorgeous car, but I think our niece’s Barbie car is bigger than this one.”
Sophia laughed.
The salesman clapped his hands together. “We can use your old car as a down payment. I can get you in this fine car within an hour. It’s a great deal. Probably won’t be here tomorrow.”
Julie chewed her bottom lip. She’d brought the jalopy’s title. The salesman said they’d happily tow it from the theater parking lot. Should she call Ethan? But that would ruin the surprise.
She liked the car. A lot. They were both making nice salaries now, especially since Ethan took over the production manager’s job at Lambert’s Furniture last year. And they wouldn’t be spending any more money on medical procedures. We can manage. With one last look inside, she asked, “This is the only one? Do you have an automatic?”
The salesman muffled a chuckle. “All of these models come standard with manual transmission. They are made to be driven.”
“Oh.” Julie wrinkled her nose. She preferred an automatic, but for a car like this, she thought she could get used to shifting gears.
“It’s a beaut.”
“Yes, it is.” Julie followed the salesman to his desk on the showroom floor, determined to make this the first day of the rest of her life. I’m going to do it.
Sophia leaned over her shoulder when the salesman took a phone call. “Pick me up for work tomorrow.”
Julie grinned up at her. “Should I do this?”
“For crying out loud, yes.”
Julie thought of Ethan with his quick wit and decisive actions. If he wanted something, he got it. Now it was her turn. Besides, she’d spent money before, not this much, but they were two successful, working people. And she didn’t even count the money Kit estimated she’d make playing spring and summer engagements with the quartet.
Mental note: Tell Ethan about the quartet.
In less than an hour, Julie slipped into the driver’s seat and turned the key. As she gripped the wheel, power vibrated up her arms. Grinning up at Sophia, she wondered for a moment if having a baby could ever feel as sensational as this.
A sad no resonated in her heart.
“Don’t forget to pick me up.” Sophia stepped back and waved.
Julie shifted into first and let out the clutch. “See you tomorrow, I hope.” The car lurched forward and stalled. She peered up at the salesman. “I can do this.”
She maneuvered slowly out of the parking lot under a twilight sky and gingerly shifted out of second gear. Oh my. . .
At once, buckets of doubt poured over her. Did I really do this? Was it the right thing? Ethan’s going to kill me. No, I needed a new car. And this was a great deal. She gripped the wheel as if to ward off panic.
I got tired of waiting. She hugged the curve that led to the White Birch covered bridge. Lights glowed from the house on the hill, warm and inviting.
Grandma and Grandpa Lambert’s. She jerked the wheel right and into their driveway, sending a spray of gravel into the air. She prayed she wouldn’t stall the car before getting to the top of the hill. When she made it, she sighed with relief and parked by the kitchen door.
“Hello?” Julie called, knocking lightly on the door as she entered.
Grandma Betty welcomed her with a hug and kiss. “Julie, come in.”
Julie breathed in her fresh, ironed-cotton scent. “Hi, Grandma.”
She wriggled out of her coat and mittens. For as long as she could remember, Grandma Betty was her grandma as much as she was Ethan’s.
Grandpa Matt got up from his easy chair. “Pretty Julie. Come on in. It seems the Ethan Lambert household is visiting one at a time this weekend.” He propped his book on the end table.
Julie fell into his embrace. “Oh, Grandpa, I think I made a big mistake.” She slowly sat on the sofa.
“What’s wrong?” Grandpa sat next to her.
Julie opened her mouth to speak, but emotion choked her words. Grandma came in and lowered herself onto the couch next to Julie.
“I’ll go make some hot tea,” Grandpa said.
“That won’t help,” Julie mumbled.
Suddenly tears took over. She’d kept it in too long: the pain of barrenness, the strain between her and Ethan, buying a car with a price tag that challenged her annual salary.
Grandma passed her a tissue. “Tell me what’s going on.”
Julie wiped her face and tucked her hair behind her ears. “It’s all wrong. Everything.”
“Come now, it can’t be all that bad.” Grandma picked up her Bible perched on the edge of the coffee table.
“It can be and it is.” Julie stared at the ceiling while wiping away tears.
“Here we go.” Grandpa bent over Julie’s shoulder with a steaming cup of tea in a china saucer. “Since this is an emergency, I microwaved the water to get it done faster.”
Light laughter broke the burden of sorrow. “You even put cream in my tea.” Julie looked at Grandpa through watery eyes.
“Of course.” Grandpa Matt settled in his chair adjacent to the women.
Julie cried softly. She pondered the words she should use to tell her story. Straigh
tforward, she decided. Honest.
Setting her tea saucer on the table, she propped her forearms on her knees, a ragged tissue between her hands. “Dr. Patterson told me last week I can’t have children.”
Grandma held her hand tightly.
Julie cleared her throat and continued. “After all we’ve been through, the trying and waiting, we find out it’s almost impossible.”
“So that’s what Casey wanted,” Grandpa muttered.
Julie stood, noticing for the first time the fire crackling in the fireplace. “Dr. Patterson thought Ethan knew, but he didn’t. When he found out, he came by the school, angry. We argued and my class saw us. It seems all we do is growl or snap at each other. The last three years have been hard, trying to have a baby. But the doctor’s news seemed to expose something we didn’t know was there. We’ve drifted apart and lost our way with each other.”
“That kind of news is devastating, Julie. You and Ethan need time to process.” Grandma flipped her Bible open to Proverbs. “Here’s one of my favorite verses: ‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.’ ”
Julie’s voice quivered. “I want to trust Him. I had so much faith as a child, but now He seems so far away.”
Grandpa ambled across the room and stirred the fire. “You’ve let your adult thinking interfere with your faith, Julie. Even an old man like me has to lean on Jesus like a child. Our heavenly Father has good plans for you and Ethan. Learn to submit to His will and trust in Him.”
“I know, Grandpa. I want to trust. . . .” Julie sighed, burying her face in her hands. “There’s one more thing.”
“Can’t be all that bad.” Grandpa stirred the embers one last time before returning the fire poker to the holder.
“I bought a new car.” Julie sat up straight. “A convertible sports car.”
“I see.” Grandma clasped her hands over her knees. “And you didn’t talk to Ethan first?”
“No,” Julie said, resolve replacing her sadness. “Life felt so out of control, I decided I’d do something about it. My old car broke down again, so I bought a new one.”
Grandpa sat down in front of Julie, his chin jutted out. “Julie, you and Ethan have been through a lot these last few years. Like you said, focusing on starting a family took its toll on you both.”
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