by M. E. Nesser
Well, I wasted enough time analyzing the morning’s charade. It was time to get myself back on schedule and put aside all of the frivolous exchanges between my future wife and me.
12
Emily
I’d never been so relieved to be sitting in my business law class as I was that day. I seriously couldn’t get away from Martin quickly enough. I’d thought I would be more upset leaving him. On the contrary, I was beyond relieved. I hadn’t felt this liberated…ever.
Upon reflection, I realized I’d spent a lot of time with a man I didn’t love. On the outside he seemed perfect. I was so wrong. He may have been perfect for some woman, but he sure as hell wasn’t perfect for me. For once I wanted passion and laughter and spontaneity in my life. Not only did I want those things, but I felt like I deserved them. Everyone deserves to be happy, don’t they? For some reason my new nephew made me realize how I craved more in my life. My life had been so regimented and boring. I couldn’t wait to change things.
After class I called my dad. “Hey, Dad, how are you?”
“This is a pleasant surprise. You never call me during the day. Is everything OK, sweetheart?” he asked me.
“Well…yes and no. I’ve decided to leave Martin, and I need a place to stay. Would it be OK if I moved into your old place for a while?” There was a small part of me that worried he would not want me to stay there, and then I didn’t know what I would do. I knew I could never go back to my apartment with Martin, and I definitely didn’t want to stay with my dad now that Sara and the baby were there.
He hesitated before he answered, which made me even more anxious. “Of course. What made you finally leave him?” Wow, he cared more about me than about the logistics of my living arrangements. We only had a short exchange but he listened – actually listened. I missed having someone pay attention to me. It made me feel loved.
“I don’t know. It’s a lot of things. I just can’t be there anymore. I had to get away from him. He was driving me crazy, and I was really unhappy. Are you sure I can move into your old place?” I asked excitedly.
“Of course you can. Would you prefer to move in with Katharine and me?” he asked.
“No offense, Dad, but I can’t live with Sara and the baby. I need a lot of quiet in order to study. You know, the thought of living alone for once sounds really appealing.”
“Then it’s settled. Of course you can stay there. Do you need help moving?”
I was so excited. I could taste my newfound freedom. “Actually, if I could just borrow your SUV, I could move things myself after my last class.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. It’ll be much easier if I help you. When and where can I pick you up?” he asked lovingly. This was really happening. My time with Martin was over. I was as excited as I was nervous. I never acted this spontaneous in my entire life. It was exhilarating.
I thought about the best way to move out. Martin wouldn’t be home until seven, so I wanted to get out of there before he got back. “Can you meet me at the apartment at four thirty? I have only clothes, a television, and some random things like an iron and ironing board. The apartment was furnished, so I don’t have any big items.”
“Four thirty it is. Are you OK?” he asked with obvious concern in his voice. His concern made me close my eyes and put a hand on my heart. I loved my father so much and was so grateful to have him in my life.
I thought about the relief I felt. Yes, I was OK. In fact I was better than OK. “I feel relieved, Dad. I should have done this a long time ago. Thanks for offering to help. It’ll make it so much easier.”
“I’m always here for you, Emily. I hope you always remember that. I will see you later.”
He hung up the phone, and I had the strongest urge to cry. I wasn’t sure why, but it was an overwhelming feeling I couldn’t put into words. I knew my dad would be there for me. He always was. I’d tried to be independent for as long as I could remember, but it felt good to need him. Maybe I shouldn’t have waited so long to ask for his help. There wasn’t time to worry about that. It was time to find some happiness in my life.
I hurried home after my last class and started packing up my stuff. I had about an hour before my dad would be there. I felt excited about moving on. There was a part of me that was nervous Martin might surprise me and come home early. I knew he probably wouldn’t, but there was a part of me that secretly wished he would care enough to fight for me to stay. I knew it was a long shot. I hated to think he could let me go that easily.
My dad showed up promptly at four thirty, and it took about twenty minutes to load all of my stuff into his vehicle. I was so glad he came to help me. It made it so much easier. Once we finished I took the key off the key chain, locked the door, and slid the key under the door. It was over. I was no longer dating or living with Martin. I felt euphoric.
13
Martin
Today was a long day. I was so happy to be coming home. I wondered what Emily had to eat for me. She usually picked up something and had it ready for me when I got home at the end of the day. It was very thoughtful of her. I needed to remember to thank her. That should make her happy. She appreciated when I remarked about the niceties she did for me.
As I unlocked the door, I noticed something on the floor. It was a key. How strange. I picked it up and looked at it. It looked like my apartment key. “Hey, Emily, I’m home,” I called out.
I walked into the kitchen and set my things down. There was no answer. Something seemed different. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong. Oh, that was it. The bagel toaster was missing. That was strange. I hope we hadn’t been robbed.
Emily always told me when she wasn’t going to be home. I wondered where she was. I walked into the bedroom. The closet doors were open, and so were some of the dresser drawers. She knew how I felt about that. I needed order in my life. It was important. Leaving things ajar really bothered me. She knew this.
I walked over to the closet to close the door. What the heck? Her things were gone. Wait, she’d said she was moving out. I’d never thought she was serious. There was no way she would leave me. We were going to get married. This was insane. I didn’t think her ranting’s would amount to anything. I needed to straighten out this situation. I pulled out my phone and called her. It rang only once and went right to her voicemail.
“This is Emily. Please leave me a message.”
“It’s Martin. OK, I get it. I’m sorry. Stop this foolishness. Come home.”
Well, this was inconvenient. I needed to eat so I would have the energy to study for a few more hours. I couldn’t believe she’d done this to me. I had an anatomy test in the morning. I didn’t have the time or the energy for dealing with an overemotional woman just then. I needed to study.
I went into the kitchen and opened up the refrigerator. There weren’t any leftovers. Damn. Now what was I going to do? I didn’t have time to go get something. I guessed I could order out, but that was expensive. Emily’s dad had a lot of money, so she usually bought all of the food. Besides, I didn’t have time to shop. At this point in our relationship, I shouldn’t have had to tolerate this juvenile behavior. Hopefully she would come to her senses soon. I didn’t have time for such inconveniences. Oh well. I would have to have a bowl of cereal and leave it at that.
After I finished a bowl of cereal, I started to study. An hour had passed when I realized I hadn’t heard from Emily. I couldn’t believe she was acting so immaturely. This needed to end, and it needed to end immediately. I called her again.
“This is Emily. Please leave me a message.”
“It’s Martin again. This has gone on long enough. Stop being childish. It’s time for you to come home.”
I got so involved in what I was reading that I didn’t realize another two hours had passed. I looked at my phone again. I was shocked she hadn’t called me back. This was getting ridiculous. I contemplated calling her again, but I didn’t want to sound like a pathetic boyfriend. I set my phone aside and continued wit
h my studies. I knew she’d be home before the night was out.
14
Emily
It didn’t take long to get settled back in my old room again. In fact it felt very comforting. I listened to both of Martin’s voicemails, but I didn’t call him back. He didn’t say he loved me or he missed me. He called me foolish and childish. I was more confident than ever that I had made the right decision. In fact I couldn’t believe I had stayed with him as long as I had. Thank God I’d moved in with him. That was when I realized he was definitely not the one. Hopefully he would stop pestering me. I just wanted to put my life with him behind me.
My father still had some wine in his kitchen. I ordered some food to be delivered, opened a bottle of wine, and settled in front of the fire to read. I was in the middle of reading a chapter on bankruptcy when my phone rang. It was Sara. This call I picked up.
“Hi, sis, what’s up?”
“What’s up? What’s up with you? Dad just told me you left Marty!”
I guessed I had to talk about it even though I wasn’t sure I wanted to. “I did. I just couldn’t take it anymore.”
“So what happened?”
“We got in a fight last night, and I told him I was leaving. He didn’t believe me. And I left. Dad helped me move. End of story.”
“C’mon, there has to be more to it than that,” Sara said. She was relentless, and I knew she wouldn’t give up. Maybe it would feel good to talk about it with her. Being open and honest was all a part of this new Emily makeover.
“I was miserable, Sara. Our relationship was boring. He has everything planned all of the time. He lives on this rigid schedule that he refuses to deviate from. I just couldn’t take it anymore.” Yeah, that summed it up.
“Good for you. Now it’s time for you to hook up with some hot, fun guy and really let your hair down.”
I definitely liked her suggestion. It made me smile. God, smiling felt good. “I should probably take a breather right now.”
“Breather? Why would you want to do that? You need to have some wild sex, Em, and you know it. I’ve been telling you forever that you need a new guy who will make you pant and sweat and scream for Jesus!”
I couldn’t help but laugh. She was always thinking about sex, even after having a baby. “First I’ll have to find a guy who’s interested in having sex with me. I’m not as appealing as you are, little sister.”
“Bullshit. You are beautiful and smart. You could have any guy you want. I’ll never know why you can’t see what an amazing catch you are. Confidence, my dear sister. You just need a little confidence.”
“Well, thank you for your vote of support. I’ll keep you posted. Right now I’m going to finish this bottle of wine and crash. By the way, how’s Brian?” I almost forgot about the baby.
“He’s amazing. I’m still in shock. I can’t believe I had a baby. It’s so surreal.”
“Give him a kiss from his aunt Emily. I really have to go. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Okie dokie. Love you.” And she hung up. She never waited for me to say good-bye. I was glad that conversation was over. I wasn’t surprised she’d called me. In fact her call made me feel a lot better. She was right—I needed someone completely different in my life.
I threw my phone down and picked up my book again. I’d been reading for only a couple of minutes when the phone rang again. Crap, it was Martin. Now what? At that point I was more than halfway done with the wine and was feeling fairly brazen, so I picked up.
“What do you want, Martin?” I asked abruptly instead of saying hello.
“You need to stop these shenanigans and come home. I’ll apologize for whatever it is you want me to apologize for, and we can move on.”
God, he was infuriating. “No, Martin. I’m not coming back. In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve moved out. Our relationship is over. I wish you the best, but it’s over.”
“No, it is not over. Stop this nonsense, and come back to the apartment. I’ll take a break from studying so we can talk things through.” He always sounded so reasonable, and right now I felt anything but reasonable. I just wanted to hang up on him.
“There is nothing more to say. Good-bye, Martin.” I hung up. I didn’t think I had ever hung up on anyone in my entire life. I had a feeling he might call back, so I turned the phone off. That felt oddly comforting. Now no one could bug me. I didn’t know why I hadn’t turned my phone off before that.
I finished the bottle and curled up on the couch and fell asleep. When I woke up six hours later, I realized I had been sleeping on the couch and burst out laughing. Martin would always criticize me when I fell asleep on the couch. I remembered the first time I’d fallen asleep in the living room, and he’d asked me why we had bothered to buy a queen-size bed if I wasn’t going to sleep in it. He didn’t tolerate such “erratic behavior,” as he called it. It was such a strange thing to get upset about.
Now I didn’t have to worry about it anymore. It was going to be a great day!
15
Martin
I called Emily several times, but it was obvious she had turned her phone off. Her behavior was childish and irrational and I knew it was time to take control as the man of the house and establish more definitive rules. I really did not have time for this, but I needed to make sure this scenario never repeated itself. I had a busy academic schedule and couldn’t be sidetracked by my girlfriend’s tirades. I needed to find some kind of resolution quickly, before I got behind on my studies. Although I planned to spend my life with her, I needed to put all my energy into medicine. My father warned me that women could be a nuisance. Right now, that is exactly what Emily was.
I called Ian in the morning so I could find out where she was staying. “Good morning, Ian. This is Martin. Could you please tell me where your daughter is so I can make amends and we can move on?” I asked him calmly and rationally.
“I’m sorry, Marty. I can’t tell you where she is. Maybe you should give her a little space,” he suggested. I really hated when this family called me Marty. It made me sound like a young child and not an aspiring physician. I knew I had to remain respectful, however.
“I mean no disrespect, Ian, but I don’t have the luxury of succumbing to your daughter’s tirades right now. I have a very busy schedule. Frankly, this episode has set me back as it is.”
Ian paused. “I’m sorry, Marty, but I can’t help you. This is between the two of you. I wish you the best. Have a pleasant day.” And he hung up! I couldn’t believe it. What was with this family and hanging up on me? Now I had to find her on my own. I absolutely did not have the motivation to chase her like a lovesick teen. Unfortunately, I didn’t seem to have any other choice.
I went to my computer and logged into the calendar. We had synced our schedules about a year ago so we would always know where the other person was. When I typed in the current date, I saw she had erased her entire schedule. Now there was no way for me to know where she was. I couldn’t believe she had done this. Another juvenile act that we would have to talk about. This was getting more inconvenient by the minute.
I was tempted to go to her school, but I didn’t have the time for that. I had an entire day of classes ahead of me that I absolutely could not miss. Finding her would have to wait. Now that I thought of it, maybe waiting would be a smart idea. It would give her more time to cool off and come to her senses.
I walked into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. It was empty. Damn, I forgot. Emily did all of the grocery shopping. This was also extremely inconvenient. I did not have the time to do such menial tasks as shopping for food. I guessed I didn’t have a choice, for now at least. I would have to stop at the deli and pick up a bagel to hold me over. On the way home that night, I’d be forced to stop at the market and pick up some essentials.
I checked my phone periodically throughout the day to see if Emily had contacted me. It was surprising that she hadn’t. I knew it wouldn’t be long before she was back where she belonged, though
. Couples planning on getting married don’t just break up after three years.
After the fifth time I checked my phone, I made a decision. I would finish up my day, go to the market and pick up supplies, and then call her when I got home. I would tell her I had gone shopping. That would show her I was trying. I felt confident she would be pleased by my efforts. When she realized I wanted to make her happy, she would come back to me.
Now that I’d made a decision on how to handle the situation, I was free to concentrate on school.
16
Emily
I woke up with a little headache from drinking the entire bottle of wine, and for some reason that made me smile. That controlling, un-fun man that I left only two short days ago would never tolerate consuming an entire bottle of wine. Well, I didn’t have to answer to anyone anymore, and it felt fantastic. I went into the kitchen, got a glass of water, and took two aspirin from my purse. I left my purse on the kitchen counter as I walked into the bathroom to take a shower. I felt a little guilty leaving it there. Martin insisted my purse and coat always hang on the hook next to the front door. He hated clutter. It made him anxious. Well, that was another thing I didn’t have to worry about anymore either.
I took an extra-long shower. I scrubbed every inch of my body with careful precision. It felt like I was washing away any residue from my failed relationship. For some reason even the thought of failing as a couple didn’t upset me. I felt incredibly liberated.
As I lathered up the sponge to wash between my legs, I became aware of how good the sensation felt. I closed my eyes and continued to move the sponge in slow circles. I enjoyed the tingly sensations resonating between my legs. I wanted to see if I could bring myself to an orgasm this way. I had never been able to achieve one without a vibrator, and I couldn’t use a vibrator if Martin was around. He thought there was something perverse about a woman masturbating. I forced the image of Martin out of my mind and thought about someone I found attractive. Oh yeah, Chad. He was much more appealing.