by M. E. Nesser
Chad interrupted my staggering sentence. “Tell me,” he said encouragingly and lovingly, with that deep, sexy morning voice that made me tingle all over.
“I’m happy,” I said quietly. That was definitely an accurate description of how I felt, even if it wasn’t a thorough enough adjective to cover the myriad of emotions I was feeling.
“I know how you feel,” he said gently as he stroked the side of my face lovingly.
“That’s not all,” I admitted shyly.
“Why, what else are you feeling right now?” he needed to know, and I knew I needed to tell him.
“I’ve never been in love before. It’s a bit…overwhelming,” I admitted.
Chad looked me intently in the eyes as he continued to touch my face. I could tell he was choosing his words carefully. “You know what? I understand what you’re feeling. I had a few serious girlfriends before I met you, and each time I thought I was in love, but now I’m not so sure. I think I was disillusioned. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m older or what it is, but I feel different with you than I’ve felt with anyone else before. You’ve shown me what love really is.”
Holy shit. This was intense. And amazing.
I crawled on top of him so I could look into his eyes and get his full attention. “I love you, Chad. I really do,” I told him.
“And I love you. In fact I can see myself loving you forever.”
Whoa, I didn’t expect that. I didn’t know how to respond. The thought of forever scared me. My parents promised to love each other forever and that never happened. I didn’t know what to say. Although we had just expressed our love to one another, it was impossible for me to think about our relationship lasting a lifetime.
I couldn’t even look in his eyes anymore because I didn’t want him to see my doubt. I turned my head and rested it on his chest. He rubbed my back lovingly, and I felt frozen. My thoughts were racing. My childhood dreams of forever were shattered by an ugly divorce that ripped apart our family and left my sister and I without a mother. Was forever even possible? I definitely had my doubts, even though I’d just poured my heart out to this man.
Chad interrupted my reverie. “Hey, I’d like to get up. I want to take a shower before I wake Nora up.”
“Um, OK,” I said. If he sensed my unease, he didn’t say anything. I was sure he knew something was off, but he remained gallant and kept his questions to himself.
I gave him a chaste kiss on the lips and rolled off of him. I watched him get out of bed and take his beautiful naked body to the bathroom. Once he closed the door, I buried my face in the pillow. I’d always assumed I would marry Martin. It would have been a marriage of convenience that would have been good for our careers. It was logical and it made sense. To make a commitment based on mutual attraction and love was a whole other thing. I never looked at my future from that perspective. It was definitely taking me out of my comfort zone. I did know that if there was one man in the world I could commit to, it would be Chad.
I heard the shower start. I needed to feel his reassurance. I ran into the bathroom and joined him. I reached for him quickly and wrapped my arms around him. He acted surprised when I entered the shower but accepted my interruption willingly and lovingly.
“Tell me what’s wrong, Emily?” he asked.
I didn’t know what to say. I was confused by the depth of my feelings for this man. “I never expected to feel this way.” That was the best I could come up with, and it was honest.
He hugged me tighter. His face was rested on the top of my head. “Neither did I,” he said gently. And then I did something I’d never thought I would do: I started to cry.
“Hush, baby,” he said, and he cupped my face in his hands so I was forced to look at him. “Don’t be afraid. Love is an amazing thing. Don’t overthink it.”
That was my problem; I was overthinking it. “I’m sorry,” I murmured. “I didn’t see this coming.”
“Don’t you dare apologize,” he said. “I don’t ever want you to apologize for how you feel. I didn’t see it coming either, but I’m sure glad it did.” This man was too much. I couldn’t stand it. I started to sob.
“I don’t know how to do this,” I said. I couldn’t explain what this was, but I was hoping he’d understand.
“Neither do I. Let’s just take our time and figure it out together, OK?” he asked.
I couldn’t even answer. I nodded my head in agreement and buried my face in his chest. His one hand ran through my hair, and his other hand ran over my back. I felt so protected in his strong arms. I also felt turned on.
I pulled away and looked at him. “Make me not think,” I said. I wasn’t sure that would even make sense, but I knew he would understand.
He kissed me lovingly as his hands began to wander. I reached down and gently fondled that delicate sac between his legs. I could feel him getting harder. This was exactly what I needed. Him. We kissed each other with a renewed purpose. It was frenzied and determined. I found his body and stroked it deliberately. I heard him moan, and that made me want him even more.
“Please,” I demanded.
He turned the water off and put his arms around me. “The shower can wait. Hop up, and wrap your legs around my waist,” he ordered. It was definitely advantageous having sex with a man who was lot bigger and stronger than I was. He lifted me up against the wall of the shower, and I did what he asked. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he buried his engorged body into mine without any warning. His abrupt penetration shocked me at first but turned me on instantly. It felt wild, and I was so glad I joined him in the shower.
My body became alive when I was with him. I wrapped my arms around his neck to hang on and sucked on any body part I could reach. Our lovemaking was always full of so much intensity. I was full of lust and insatiable desire. I needed him closer to me. I squeezed his torso so we would truly feel like one body. He understood my need and held me closer.
“I can’t get enough,” I admitted honestly. “I can never seem to get enough.”
“Me either,” he said as he worked diligently to get me where I needed to be. He fingers kneaded my ass as he controlled the momentum that was building at our very core. I loved the fact he could hold my weight up as thrust his hard cock into me. He was so powerful yet so loving. It was a perfect combination. “Don’t be afraid of love, angel. It’s the most beautiful thing in the world.”
His words mixed with his deep, husky voice were exactly the catalyst I needed. The depth of our desire allowed me to shut my brain completely off and simply enjoy the moment. I didn’t even realize I was biting his shoulder as I climaxed. Every time we had sex, I felt more alive and more beautiful. It was as exhilarating as it was frightening. This man was my everything. I knew I would never be the same woman I had been only a few months earlier, and for that I was extremely grateful.
Chad held me as close as humanly possible as he emptied himself inside of me. I loved the intensity of our lovemaking as much as I enjoyed the calm that followed it. I didn’t want this round to be over. Our connection was indescribable. Everyone deserved to feel this close to another human being at least once in their lifetime.
“Thank you for that,” I told him.
He didn’t answer. He didn’t need to. He gently put me down and hugged me. As our breathing returned to normal, he turned the shower back on, and we laughed and chatted as we washed each other’s bodies off. He was easy going and fun, which was exactly the kind of man I never knew I needed. I could have stayed in the shower forever.
Once we composed ourselves and got dressed, we checked on his sister. We found Nora in the living room on her computer.
“Are you excited about your day?” I asked her.
“I’m actually kind of nervous,” she admitted.
“About what?” her brother asked as he sat down next to her on the couch.
“Well, I looked at two colleges in California, but for some reason I’ve always wanted to go to college in New York. But no
w that I’m here, I’m having doubts. What if I don’t like either of them? I’ve wanted to live here for as long as I can remember, but I also want to find the right fit for me. So basically I’m freaking out a little. Do you understand?” she asked Chad.
“Of course I do. Why do you think I chose to go to law school here? I needed a change of scenery too. Listen, go check out both places, and we’ll talk about it more tonight. I’ll be done by five, and we can go get some dinner. OK?”
“OK,” she said as she leaned into him. I watched as Chad put his arm around her shoulder. He was attentive and loving, the way I’d always imagined a big brother would be. I found it so sexy. OK, everything about him was sexy.
We all left together and stopped to get bagels and coffee at a small restaurant around the corner. It was obvious the sights and sounds of our city fascinated Nora.
“There’s quite an energy here,” she said. “It feels so different from California.” We were sitting at a little table by the window. Nora was scanning everything around us with a huge grin on her face.
“Yeah, that’s one of the things I love most about New York,” I told her. “There is always something going on. It’s an exhilarating place to live.”
Nora got up and said she needed to leave. She wanted to get to campus early so she could walk around and get a feel for the place. She said she knew where she was going. She kissed Chad on the cheek and leaned over to hug me. I loved how demonstrative this family was.
As she walked away, I reached for Chad’s hand, and he smiled at me. “I really like your sister,” I told him.
“I’m so glad. She’s pretty taken with you too. She advised me this morning that you’re a keeper, as she most delicately put it, and told me not to F it up.”
That made me smile. “Well, I’m glad I got her approval. Now I look forward to meeting your parents and seeing what they think about me.”
We got up, because it was time to get to class. Chad grabbed my hand tight. “I know they’ll feel the exact same way about you,” he said confidently.
I didn’t realize until this moment how important it was for me to get his family’s approval. I knew Martin’s parents always thought of me as being too over-privileged to be an appropriate wife to their prodigal son. They formed their entire opinion about me based on my dad’s wealth, which I always found disconcerting. I never felt like they tried to get to know me as a person without passing judgment on the fact that my dad was rich.
Fortunately, that didn’t matter anymore. I knew in my heart of hearts that Chad loved me for me and not for the size of my bank account. It still blew me away that I was in this relationship. Although it had happened so fast, it felt more right than my three years with Martin ever had.
That night we took Nora to Uncle Todd’s place. I didn’t think she’d mind eating his food again. She’d loved it the night before, and the menu was so large there were plenty of things she could choose from. We sat down and ordered a few appetizers. Nora needed more time to decide on a meal. While we were making our decision, Uncle Todd came by to say hi.
“How’s my beautiful goddaughter?” he asked and kissed me on my cheek.
“Great. Uncle Todd, I want you to meet Chad’s sister, Nora. Nora, this is my favorite uncle in the whole world and the owner of this amazing restaurant.”
Nora smiled brightly and stood up to shake my uncle’s hand. But in the Italian fashion, my uncle leaned in and kissed her cheek. She blushed like a schoolgirl. It was cute. “It’s so great to meet you,” she said enthusiastically. “We ate your lasagna last night, in addition to a ton of other stuff, and it was…by far…the best lasagna I’ve ever eaten.”
“Aren’t you a sweetheart? I’m glad you liked it. What do you think you’re going to order tonight?” he asked politely.
“Well, I’m not sure. I was thinking about the white Bolognese, because I didn’t know there was such a thing. I always thought Bolognese was a red sauce.”
“That is one of my specialties. I learned how to make that dish in Italy. It has a lot of flavor, and I know you’ll love it.”
“Great. Decision made,” Nora told him.
We talked for a few minutes before Uncle Todd excused himself to go back to the kitchen. Dinner was amazing as usual. Nora chatted incessantly throughout the entire meal. She told us she really liked Columbia and could totally see herself living in New York. I loved her enthusiasm. Her vibrant and outgoing spirit made her so likeable. I couldn’t wait for her to meet Sara. They had very similar personalities, and I knew they’d get along famously.
After dinner we decided to walk home. It was a long way, but we were all overstuffed, so it felt good to move. I told the siblings I had a lot of studying to do the next day, so they would be on their own until dinner at my dad’s. Nora told Chad she had another interview at Columbia and wanted Chad to join her.
They talked the whole way home, and I just listened. They had a very special relationship. It was obvious they loved each other very much. The way Chad interacted with his sister made me fall even deeper in love with him. Aside from my father, I had never met such a compassionate man.
As soon as we got back to the apartment, we bid each other goodnight. I went into the bathroom and jumped in the shower. I had my eyes closed and was getting my hair wet when I felt a presence in the shower with me.
“May I join you?” Chad asked in a deep, sultry voice that sent an electrical current directly to my core.
“I was hoping you would,” I told him. I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to shower alone again. Although we had showered that morning, I knew I’d want to shower again before I got in bed with him. I really had been hoping he’d join me. Our trysts in the shower were very sexy.
“Let me wash your hair since I didn’t wash it this morning,” he said as he repositioned my body so my head was directly under the faucet. I could feel his large hands massaging my scalp. I had to touch him.
Keeping my eyes closed, I reached forward and rubbed his pecs. His lean, muscular body was probably one of the sexiest bodies I could ever imagine touching. I couldn’t resist running my hands all over his torso. I felt each muscle on his abs, trying to memorize every indentation. My exploration was fueling my ardor.
He rinsed my hair and then applied the conditioner. I kept traveling down as he continued to rub my head. Oh yes, this was what I was looking for. He was hard. So hard. I reached up, grabbed some of the excess conditioner in my hand, and reached back down to stroke him. He was such a hot, virile man. Keeping my eyes closed forced me to imagine the look on his face.
“Mm, the conditioner is a nice touch. Keep that up and I won’t be able stop myself from coming all over you.”
Wow, when would this kind of talk not surprise me? I’d imagined people talked to each other this way only in erotic books or in porn. I loved his candidness when we fooled around. Even if he wasn’t touching me, the things he said were such a turn-on. The combination of his voice and his hands were lethal.
“I don’t want to stop,” I admitted to him. “I want you to touch me. Please.”
What was with this guy? He made me feel so brazen sexually. I kept my eyes closed. It made me feel bolder. Chad kissed me all over my face as he mumbled erotic words of endearment. I stroked him harder as I sucked on his tongue, his chin, and his face. I felt his hands rub my clit. Oh yes. This was exactly what I needed. He massaged me between my legs with such expertise.
“Harder,” I urged him.
I heard him chuckle. “Needy?” he asked me.
“So needy. Please Chad.” I held on to his chest with my free hand because my knees felt weak from all the blood pooling in my clit. “Chad…oh, Chad,” I said as I exploded around his fingers. I made a lot of noise as I came, which must have been just what it took to get Chad there too. No, I didn’t think I’d ever want to shower alone again.
We went our separate ways in the morning after an intense quickie as soon as we woke up. I never knew I could come so quickly wi
th such little foreplay. This man was a sex god. I’d climaxed more since I’d met him than I had in my entire life. It was definitely part of the reason I smiled all the time. Being satisfied sexually was good for…everything!
The plan was to meet at my dad’s at seven. Katharine and dad were cooking dinner for us. Sara, Jackson, and the baby were going to be there to join us. I was so excited for everybody to meet Nora and to spend more time with Chad.
I showed up early so I could help Katharine out with the meal prep. It really wasn’t necessary, since she was such an organized person. I just needed some time alone with her before everybody got there. My relationship had progressed so quickly that I needed someone to talk to. Since my mother and I were estranged, Katharine was the closest thing I had to a mother. In fact she was the most important adult woman in my life.
It was just after six when I arrived. “Katharine, it’s me. I came to help out with dinner,” I yelled as I walked into their place.
“In the kitchen,” I heard her say.
I walked into the kitchen and saw Katharine stirring something on the stovetop. She set down the ladle to give me a hug. “I’ve missed you, sweetheart. How’s everything?” She was always so caring and loving.
“Everything is great, Katharine. Thank you so much for having us all for dinner tonight. I’m excited for you to meet Chad’s sister and to spend some more time with him.”
“It’s our pleasure. We haven’t seen much of you since this semester started, and we’ve missed you. Ian and I are looking forward to catching up. How is school?” she asked.
“Hard. Good. It’s what I’ve always wanted, so I’m loving it in spite of how difficult it is.”
“And Chad? I was glad to hear the case with Martin was dismissed.”
“Me too. That was ridiculous.” I paused for a minute. I didn’t want to discuss Martin, but I wasn’t sure where to begin with a discussion about Chad either. “Uh, Chad is amazing, Katharine. I feel like it can’t be real because he’s so great. Our relationship is so much different from what I ever had with Martin. He’s smart, fun, passionate…I never knew it could be like this. I’m over-the-moon excited about him.” I could feel myself blushing. It was strange talking about this.