by Cathy Keeton
Shadow Spirit flinched at the mention of Abby’s father. He should tell her, but he just could not stand the thought of her having to go through the pain that he was going to experience. He had decided not to tell her until they reached their winter camp; now he was not sure that that had been a good decision. He was afraid that the news of her father’s death would upset her to much, causing her to lose their baby. No, he would have to wait until the baby was born in the summer.
“I will see Abby, but please do not get your hopes up.”
“I have a feeling that my father may not still be alive, he was weak and sick at heart when I was kidnapped, I don’t believe he could have survived.”
“Oh my Darling I have to tell you something. Do you remember when the traders were in our camp?”
“Yes.”
“They had news about a man that died after seeing his daughter kidnapped by Black Heart.”
“You don’t know for sure that it was my father, do you?”
“No, not positively, but the traders said that it was a school teacher’s father.”
“Then it was my father.” She was crying softly now in a way that tore Shadow Spirit apart. Why did she not get angry and yell or scream at him. “How could you keep it from me. I can’t believe that you would do that, my father is dead and you knew all this time.”
“I am so sorry that I did not tell you sooner, I was so afraid that you would try to leave on your own and be hurt or killed. If it is any comfort to you he did not suffer, he saw Black Heart ride away with you, and his heart just stopped.”
“I need to be alone, please leave me.”
“Abby, please forgive me, I was only trying to protect you.”
“I know, but I need some time to grieve, I can’t talk to anyone now, please,” she cried.
Shadow Spirit walked away from the woman that he loved more than anything. He should not have kept it from her. He went in search of Yellow Dove he would explain what had taken place to her, maybe she could comfort Abby.
He ran into Gray Wolf, who was coming back from the stream. He was the only other person who knew about Abby’s father dying.” Hello, my friend,” Gray wolf said.
“I told Abby; she asked me to leave.”
“She will not want you to stay away for long. She needs you, but she is hurt and the pain of losing her father is clouding her thoughts, she is also angry with you for keeping it from her.”
“If she had become angry, I would not be so worried, but she did not; she simply cried softly and asked me to leave.”
“Perhaps she only wants some time alone with her grief. I will ask Yellow Dove to check on her before we go to sleep. Do you wish to set and talk with me while she is with Abby”?
“You are a wise man, my friend; someday you will make a great Shaman.” Shadow Spirit said.
Abby sat alone in their little make shift lodge, why had he kept such vital information from her. She had cried for her father, but deep down she had known that he would not survive when she disappeared from his life, so soon after losing his wife. She was not angry at Shadow Spirit, she was hurt and disappointed that he had not told her, but not angry. She knew she would get through this because she loved her husband and nothing could ever change that.
“Hello Abby.”
Abby looked up at Yellow Dove. “Did you know that my father was dead, and not tell me?”
“I did not know, I am so sorry, if I had known I would have told you.”
“I believe you; it doesn’t make it hurt any less to know that he died months ago. Do you know what hurts the most?” She asked sadly.
“What hurts the most Abby?” Yellow Dove came over and pulled her friend close.
“ It’s knowing that the last thing my father saw was me being taken away, and that he never got the chance to see that I have found the man that I was intended to meet and love for the rest of my life.”
“How do you think he would have felt to know that you are happy with the Cheyenne?”
“He was always appalled at the treatment the Indians received. Then when my mother was killed he changed, he became bitter, afraid, and filled with hate. I tried to tell him that Black Heart didn’t depict all Indians. He was beginning to come out of the house a little more, and spend time with his friends, but he still woke up every night sobbing. I don’t know if I could have convinced him that I was happy or not, I think that with time he would have come around.”
“Black Heart killed your mother, I did not know that.”
Abby told her about her mother’s brutal death and her father’s withdrawal from life. She cried more than she had since her mother died, she felt completely drained and knew she had to get hold of herself, she had to think of the baby. Abby’s sobs gradually subsided, and she slept with her head on Yellow Dove lap.
Yellow Dove shifted Abby around so that she was resting on the sleeping mat, and covered her with a buffalo robe. Poor thing lost her mother and father in such a short span of time; it will be terrible to lose her father, but it had to be so much worse to lose both.
When Yellow Dove returned to her own place Shadow Spirit was waiting impatiently. “Is Abby alright?” he asked.
“She sleeps, she cried until she was exhausted. She will feel better in the morning, she will still be sad, but Dear Brother, do not ever think that she does not love you beyond anything else. Abby will understand your reason for keeping her father’s death from her when she has had time to think about
“I am grateful to you for being with her when she did not want me there. I hope that she can forgive me in time.”
“Abby is not the type of person to hold a grudge against someone she loves as much as she loves you.” Yellow Dove exclaimed.
“I will go see if she is still sleeping,” Shadow Spirit said.
Shadow Spirit walked the short distance to where Abby slept. She never knew when he lay down and scooped her up close to his body, holding her and praying that no harm came to her or their baby. He tried to stay awake so that he would be aware if she woke, but he could not keep his eyes open. Shadow Spirit did not know that only a few miles to the south, Black Heart and Lone Raven plotted their demise.
Chapter Sixteen
After they reached the winter camp Abby tried to help Green Eyes all that she could. It gave her less time to dwell on the fact that she would never see her father again. Shadow Spirit father was barely hanging on to life and Green Eyes needed her and Yellow Dove not only to help with her husband but also for emotional support.
Abby had forgiven Shadow Spirit for keeping her father’s death from her, but she still could not forget that he had. Each day that passed made it easier to remember that he was only trying to protect her from more heartache.
Abby returned to their lodge to find that Shadow Spirit had built a fire in the fire ring in the center of their home and had left a pot of stew warming for their supper. They had been at their winter camp for more than a month now and the nights were getting cooler and the days longer. They’d had frost the last two mornings and to the north, the clouds looked heavy with snow.
Abby was filling their bowls with stew when Shadow Spirit walked in.
“Hello my sweet wife, how are you feeling?”
“I am a little tired and I don’t like cold weather. Do you think it will snow tonight?”
“I think that the snow is going to stay to the north it will not be of a concern to us,” he stated.
“I certainly hope so I already miss summertime.” She handed him a big bowl of venison stew filled with wild turnip and onions that had been gathered in the last weeks before they came here. Their winter camp was a sight to behold; hundreds of teepees were set up between mountains that protected the people from invaders and strong winter winds. There were several other Indians that also called this place home during the winter months. Yellow Dove had explained to Abby that their friends the Arapaho liked to live out the winter here.
“I can’t imagine how beautiful this pla
ce is in the spring, when the flowers are in bloom and the trees leaf out. I love you Shadow Spirit,” she quietly said as she began to eat her stew.
“I love you also. I am glad that you were able to get past my not telling you about your father. I do not think that I could have been able to bear you not loving me, I am a proud future chief, but seeing the hurt in your eyes brought me to my knees.
“Oh Shadow Spirit I know that you only did that to protect me. There is nothing that you could do to stop me from loving you.”
He sat his stew down, took Abby by the hands, and led her to their sleeping mat. He slowly undressed her and then himself. He kissed her with all the pent up emotion that had been slowly coming to the surface for the last month. He kissed her belly, where their baby lay warm and safe, he kissed and suckled her toes and trailed kisses hungrily up her leg, paying special attention to the back of her knees. Just when she thought she couldn’t take anymore, he entered her in one powerful thrust. This was the first time they had made love since arriving here and both were hungry for the other. They feverishly loved each other until the fire in their lodge had burned down to an ember, and their fire for each other had been satisfied.
Abby lay in Shadow Spirit arms with her head on his chest and listened to the beat of his heart return to normal. “Shadow Spirit, I don’t ever want anything to come between us. I want to spend all of my days living with our people and loving you.”
“I will always try my best to keep you safe and happy. I will never want anyone else and I will never take a second wife.” Shadow Spirit felt her tense at his statement.
“I would hope that you would not want anyone else,” she sat up and looked him directly in the eyes. “We have talked about this before and if you ever think about taking another wife, while I am alive, I will make sure she doesn’t get to enjoy what I have just had.” Abby laughed. They fell asleep still holding each other.
Abby woke feeling happy and contented. She sat up looking around the lodge for Shadow Spirit. Wonder where he went this early, she thought. She dressed and walked outside to look for him. She spotted him leaving his parents lodge coming toward her, he looked like he had been crying. She waited for him to reach her, from the look on his face she knew something bad had happened.
“Oh Shadow Spirit is it your father?”
“Yes, he is gone.”
“I am so sorry Shadow Spirit. Where is your mother, is someone with her?”
“Yes, Yellow Dove sits with her. He has been unwell for so long Abby and now he no longer suffers, he is with our ancestors where there is no war, hunger, or sickness.”
“I know how you must feel, the pain that your father was in was terrible, but it is still hard to lose someone so loved.” Abby took Shadow Spirit by the arm and led him inside their lodge. “Do you think I should go be with your mother?” she asked
“I need you here with me for awhile, there will be much to be done in the coming days, and Mother will need you then. Now, I just need to be with you and think about the new life that will come into our lives. Our child will bring much happiness to our village; he will be Chief of our people one day.” Shadow Spirit placed his hand on Abby’s abdomen where their child lay. “This child and the child of Yellow Dove and Gray Wolf will help my mother to live with the passing of my father; it will give her something to look forward to.”
“Your mother is a strong woman I just pray that the loss of your father is not too much for her to bear.” Abby stated. “Shadow Spirit what makes you believe that our baby will be a son?”
“I went on a vision quest as a young warrior, and in my vision I saw a family, myself, and a white woman holding a young boy.”
“Was the white woman me?”
“I could not see her face.”
“Oh.”
“In my heart I know that it was you, for you are the only woman that I have truly loved and the only one that I will ever love.”
“Thank you for being such a wonderful man, I am so lucky that you found me and rescued me from Black Heart. I hope that our child is a son, proud and noble like his father and his grandfathers.” Abby put her hand on Shadow Spirit where it lay on her stomach.
As they sat there remembering their fathers, the rest of the village must have heard of their chiefs death for the wailing began, it was the saddest sound that Abby had ever heard.
Chapter Seventeen
In the weeks that followed the Chief Whites Feathers death Shadow Spirit had slipped fully into the role of chief effortlessly. He had been acting as chief long before his father’s death. He had decided to take a group of warriors and make one more hunt before any more snow came. It was already the last week in December, and was very cold.
“Do you think you can get back before more snow moves in?” Abby asked.
“Please do not worry, I will be fine, we need extra meat to do the village the rest of the winter. I will only be gone a couple of days.”
“I felt the baby kick today I mean a real kick not just the fluttering.”
Shadow Spirit scoped her up in his arms and held her tightly. “Will he move now?” he laid his hand on her stomach.
“I can’t make him move. Have you noticed that I look like I am further along than Yellow Dove? I think our child is going to be a big one.”
“Yes I had noticed. Mother made a remark about that the other day.”
“Does she think that I am getting fat?”
“No, she said that you are glowing and that you are showing a little more than Yellow Dove.”
“That’s what I’m saying I think our baby is bigger than most at this stage of pregnancy. I’m not even five months.”
Shadow Spirit laid Abby down on their sleeping mat. He kissed her softly, first on her lips then down the side of her neck. He took his time with each kiss working his way to her exquisite breasts making sure that she was pleased with his treatment. He feathered soft kisses down her stomach causing the muscles to contract and quiver; he paused and put his ear to her belly as if expecting to hear their baby. Abby watched as he moved lower, bypassing her womanhood and trailing one finger down the inside of her thigh, barely touching her, she writhe under his gently touch.
“Please Shadow Spirit I need….Oh!” She cried out when he kissed his way up to her center and loved her there with his mouth. She grabbed on to his shoulders and held on as wave after wave rocked her. He returned to her mouth and she could taste herself on his lips, he kissed her as he sank into her waiting warmth. Her body rose to meet his, as he drew each stroke in and out at a deliciously slow pace. Abby shuddered as he quickened the pace, brought both of them to the top of the mountain, and holding tightly to each other as they fell of the side.
They lay quietly, trying to bring their breathing under control. Abby couldn’t believe that he could possibly be this happy in such a short time. It had only been a little over five months since Black Heart had taken her from her home. Now hear she was in the arms of the most wonderful man and a baby on the way. Abby looked at Shadow Spirit, he was sleeping, with a smile on his lips.
The next morning Shadow Spirit and a small hunting party left. Abby was sad to see him leave but knew it was for the good of the village. They would need more meat if they were to have enough to do for the winter, and she had grown accustom to have nice venison stew.
Abby and Yellow Dove were at the creek getting water and talking about their coming babies. “Abby have you felt your child move yet?”
“Yes, just yesterday for the first time, it was so slight that I wasn’t sure at first then it did it again.”
“I know I have been feeling mine move for about a week now. My mother told me what to expect. I have never felt anything as wonderful, I cannot wait until it really begins to kick and Gray Wolf can feel it.”
“Shadow Spirit is anxious also.
When they were about ready to leave the stream, someone called to Yellow Dove.
“You go on I’ll just finish filling this jug and I’ll be
there, we will start lunch.”
“Ok, but hurry it is cold out here.”
Abby was bending over filling her jug with water when something hard and cold touched her neck; she froze with fear.
“This time White Whore, there is no one to save you, do as I order, and you will live a little longer. There is someone who wants to see you before your life ends.”
“I will do whatever you say Lone Raven, just don’t hurt me please.”
Lone Raven pulled Abby along the trail that lead away from the village and all that she held dear. Lone Raven yanked her by the hair when she stumbled. “Do not try and slow me down with your tricks, Black Heart will be angry if we do not hurry and I will not bear his anger because of you.”
“Please Lone Raven I didn’t stumble on purpose, you are pulling me faster than I can run. Why are you doing this?”
Lone Raven didn’t reply only tugged harder on Abby’s hair. They traveled for what seemed like miles, over streams and down hills, descending, always descending. The land was rougher here with lots of dangerous ravines and tangled vines that had been lush and green in the summer but now was shriveled and dried. Abby tried to pay attention to her surroundings and the direction that they were traveling, so that if she did get a chance to get away, she wouldn’t be so lost. She was sure that Yellow Dove had alerted others in the village to her disappearance. There might be a search party on the lookout right now. The thought that they were looking for her gave her the strength to continue.
They stopped in a clearing that was bordered on three sides by stands of trees that had lost all their leaves and stood barren looking in the cold. It was a campsite, there was a small fire in the center, and a pot of something that smelled wonderful, simmering on the fire. Over to the side of the fire lay a small bundle of something, Abby sincerely hoped that it was blankets, for she was shivering with the cold and exhaustion.
Suddenly the bundle moved and made a whimpering sound. Abby pulled away from Lone Ravens grip and ran to the blankets thinking that the evil woman had tortured some kind of animal. She kneeled and removed the covering to reveal small boy with big blue eyes and a dirty tear stained face. He had cried until all that was left of his voice was a slight squeak. He threw his arms around Abby’s neck and held on with more strength than he first appeared to have. She stood, cradling him against her; he buried his face under her chin and shook with pitiful, barely audible sobs. Abby tried to reassure him that it would be alright, but in her heart, she knew that he had about as much of a chance of surviving this horrible woman’s wrath as she did.