by Helen Phifer
The doctor nodded.
‘Just as well she had you to go and check on her because there’s no doubt about it: she was serious about dying. Those cuts on her arms were deep enough that she would have eventually bled out and the alcohol wouldn’t have helped. It thins the blood so she’d have bled faster. We’ll refer her to our mental health team and they won’t release her until she’s been assessed, but she isn’t going anywhere tonight. I’m trying to get her a bed in the mental health unit so they can assess her quicker.’
Ollie felt like shit. Kate would probably be angry with him for interfering, but she couldn’t go on like this. If he hadn’t gone back – it didn’t bear thinking about. He’d rather her be angry with him and alive than dead. The doctor pointed to the cubicle where a nurse was in the process of sewing up the large wounds. Kate’s face was so pale and she looked tiny lying on the bed. The nurse looked up and smiled at him, pity in his eyes, and he had to force himself to smile back.
He crossed towards Kate and bent down to kiss her cheek. She was so cold. He lifted a hand and stroked the side of her face. Her eyes opened and it took her a minute to register what was happening. She smiled at him and then looked down to see the nurse bent over her. Ollie watched as her eyes filled with tears. She tried to talk but her voice came out as a whisper. ‘What did I do?’
It was the nurse who answered. ‘You did a bloody good job of slitting your wrists, Kate; that’s what you did.’
She gasped. ‘When? How? I don’t remember.’
Oliver shrugged. ‘I left you with Martin and everything seemed to be going well, only I couldn’t settle when I got home so I came back to see if you were okay, and I found you in the kitchen unconscious and lying in a big pool of blood.’
Her eyes filled with tears and she looked at the nurse then Oliver.
‘I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened or why I did it. I remember throwing Martin out because he’d come around to see if he could get me into bed one last time before he proposed to that slut of his. I don’t remember the rest except for the woman. I heard a woman telling me to do it, to kill myself. How could I not remember this?’ Kate looked down at her arms.
Oliver flinched. So he’d tried to get her to sleep with him but thank God she’d realised what was happening. Neither of them spoke until the nurse had finished patching her arms back together and bandaged them up.
‘What woman, Kate? Was there someone in the house with you?’
She shook her head. ‘No, I don’t know. I didn’t see her. I just heard a voice behind me and turned around, but there wasn’t anyone there except for the shadows.’
He sat down next to her and held her hand, watching her as she turned her head and cried silent tears. The nurse popped his head through the gap in the curtains. ‘You must have someone from above looking out for you tonight, my love. They have a bed on the ward already so we’re going to get you moved across as soon as the porter comes. Normally you’d be stuck here for hours on end. Count your lucky stars that you don’t have to stop here and listen to all the drunks coming in and puking everywhere.’
And then he was gone only to return three minutes later with the porter. Ollie bent down and kissed Kate’s cheek.
‘Ring me if you need me, Kate. This time I mean it. I’ll keep my phone on and I’ll come and see you tomorrow. Try and get some sleep.’
He turned before he had to watch them wheel her away and before she saw the tears that were filling his eyes.
***
When Kate opened her eyes the sun was streaming through the small, reinforced windows and it took her a minute to remember where she was. Then she tried to turn her head and the familiar pain of a hangover kicked in. Lifting her arm to hold her head she gasped to see the white bandage that went from her wrist to elbow. It all came tumbling back in a wave of pain and embarrassment. She lifted the other arm and remembered waking up in the accident and emergency department last night with Ollie by her side. Oh God what had she done? Why had she tried to kill herself? Everything she’d been through and not once had she considered suicide – so why last night?
As a child her biggest fear had been of dying. This didn’t make any sense. She looked around and felt her heart sink. She was in a hospital and judging by the metal grills over the window she wasn’t on a normal ward. She’d been locked up in the part where they put the nutters, but she wasn’t crazy. She didn’t even know why she’d done it. Then again maybe that was a sign of madness, trying to kill yourself and not even knowing why.
A doctor walked in and smiled at her, introducing himself as a psychiatrist. She wanted to scream at him to leave her the fuck alone. They’d never let her go home if she did. So instead she took the glass of water he offered her and the paracetamol; then she began to answer the very long list of questions he asked. After what seemed like for ever the doctor stood up.
‘You have a visitor. I couldn’t let him in until I’d assessed you. I think he will cheer you up. I don’t see any need to keep you here any longer. You’ve confirmed that you’ve never been suicidal before and you don’t have any thoughts of suicide at this moment in time. Is that right?’
‘Yes absolutely. I’m mortified that I did what I did last night. I didn’t even realise how down I was feeling. It must have been the alcohol and the argument with my ex-husband. I’m so sorry to have been a complete nuisance.’
The doctor smiled at her. ‘Good, I’ll go and sort out your discharge paperwork. You’ll get a follow-up referral to the mental health team, which I strongly advise you to attend, Mrs Parker. I’ll tell your visitor he can come in. He’s been waiting patiently.’
Immediately she knew that it couldn’t be Martin because he’d have pushed his way in demanding to see her and gloating at the mess she was in. Ollie stepped into the room. He had a balloon in one hand; his other was tucked into his pocket. She wanted to curl up under the bed sheet and die, but she would have to face him sooner or later so it might as well be now.
‘I wasn’t allowed to bring in flowers. What’s that about? The nurse told me I had to take them back to the car so I bought this at the shop.’
He held his hand out to pass her the cow-shaped balloon and automatically she reached out to take it from him. She laughed until she spotted the white bandage that ran the full length of her forearm and she snatched her hand back.
‘Thank you, that’s very kind of you but you shouldn’t have. Is the cow symbolic of something?’ She winked at him, wondering if this was his way of calling her a stupid cow without actually saying it.
‘Not really; it was a choice of the cow or “it’s a boy” so I figured the cow was the best option.’
They both laughed and he crossed the room. As he neared her bed he bent down and kissed her pale cheek. Then he flopped down onto the plastic chair next to her.
‘So have they said you can go home or do you need to stop in for a bit and get some rest?’
Neither of them acknowledged the fact that she’d almost killed herself – Kate because she was mortified and Ollie probably because he figured it really wasn’t any of his business. He was here because she had no one else.
‘I can go home, thankfully. They’ve been great, but I need to get out of here. I hate hospitals.’
‘I can take you if you like. I’ve left the lads replacing the window in that bedroom above yours. That should stop any strange draughts. Kate, can I ask you: did you put those crosses back up on the wall yesterday?’
She shook her head. ‘No, you know I don’t like them. Why?’
‘Well this morning there were more of them: three in that room, also three in all the other bedrooms and they were placed periodically along the wall of the first floor landing. There were loads of them.’
Her head began to swim. How had they got there and more importantly who was putting them up? She vaguely remembered hearing faint footsteps last night and the feeling of being watched. It was all a bit fuzzy still, but she didn’t hear any banging. S
urely she would have heard them being hammered into the wall. Then again how was she supposed to hear anything when she was lying bleeding to death? He was going to think she was nuts at this rate.
‘No I didn’t, I definitely didn’t.’
‘Then we need to re-evaluate just how secure the house is because someone is coming in and putting them up. It’s a good job we got those cameras put up yesterday. I’ll check them and see if they captured anything because normal people don’t break into houses and put crosses everywhere. Why would they?’
She didn’t remember cutting herself either. What if someone had done it to her when she was passed out stone cold drunk at the kitchen table? And how had she got on the floor? Her drink could have been spiked for all she knew. As scary as the thought was of someone prowling around her house and trying to kill her at least meant that she wasn’t mad. And then she remembered how the light was fizzing, the woman’s voice in her ear, the shadows out in the hall and how terrified she’d been last night.
‘I don’t know, Kate, I’m worried.’
‘Ollie, I know you must already think that I’ve lost the plot, but I’m scared. I heard my name being called, there’s been scratching on the bedroom wall and last night I heard a woman telling me to kill myself because there was no point in living. I’m scared the house is haunted by something evil and I don’t know what to do.’
He stared at her face, which was deadly serious. Kate thought he probably wanted to tell her she was being ridiculous, but instead he seemed to have believed her. Her house was haunted; it had to be.
A cold chill settled over her. The house was so big she didn’t go into every room once the workmen had gone home. She didn’t check them. She just finished whatever she was doing then went downstairs and had a drink or two.
The door opened and a nurse came in with an envelope. ‘Doctor said this is for you. It’s a copy of your discharge notice and you’re free to go now. If you feel down again you’re to ring the ward or a friend. Talk to someone. He’s referred you for some counselling. Is that okay?’
‘Yes, thank you so much. You’ve all been amazing. I’m sorry to have caused so much trouble.’
The nurse smiled, then turned and left.
‘I’ll take you home.’
‘Thank you.’
She stood up and crossed to the small cupboard, opening it to see what clothes she had. A cold shiver ran across her spine and she realised that she was flashing her almost naked back at Oliver. She pulled the gown across and looked back at him. He was pretending to stare out of the window, but his cheeks were slightly flushed as if she’d caught him peeping. Smiling to herself she turned back.
‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to flash at you. I completely forgot I was almost naked.’
‘It’s fine; I wasn’t looking – well I tried my best not to.’
She pulled her jeans out and held them up. They had a large dried bloodstain across both thighs. Her T-shirt looked like a tie-dyed mess of blood and cotton, more blood than anything. Her legs began to quake and she had to sit down on a chair. Oliver jumped up to take hold of her arm and helped her down.
‘Oh my, I had no idea I’d bled so much. What a mess. I’m so sorry to have you caused you all this trouble. What must you think of me?’
‘I think that you need a friend, Kate, that’s what – and if I can help you in any way then I want you to know that I will. Why don’t you slip your shoes on and you can have my sweatshirt.’
He was already pulling it off and she caught a glimpse of his tanned, toned abdomen as his T-shirt rose up with it. She looked away, not wanting him to think it was her turn to gawp at him, but he had a very nice body. Not overly huge like Martin’s body. It was sleeker and so much sexier. Damn it made her like him even more. He passed his sweatshirt across and she took that and the bloodstained jeans into the bathroom.
As she pulled them on she winced at the smell and the feel. They were stiff and horrible. As soon as she got home they would be going into the bin. Taking off the hospital gown she pulled on his too big sweatshirt that was warm and smelt so good, which made up for the horrendous smell coming from her legs. She stepped outside and was grateful that his baggy top covered most of the bloodstains. He grinned at her.
‘Not quite the designer look that you’re used to, but not bad. You carry it off quite well.’
She began to laugh. ‘I look a complete state and I smell like something out of an abattoir. Are you sure you want me to sit in your truck looking and smelling like this?’
‘Absolutely. I hate hospitals with a passion so I’d rather take you and your cow balloon home, if that’s okay with you?’
‘That would be wonderful, thank you.’
Slipping on her shoes she was relieved to be going back to the wreck that was her home, even if there was something strange going on with it. At least he would be there with her for the rest of the day. She might have to check herself into a hotel for a couple of nights or at least until they got to the bottom of what was going on.
Neither of them spoke on the way home. As they rounded the bend and the house came into view, Kate let out a sigh. No matter what was happening this was her home. Completely hers and she loved it. She had fallen in love with it the minute she set her eyes on it, so there was no way she was going to be scared out of it – whether it was really haunted or whether someone living was trying to scare her away. She wouldn’t put it past Martin to pay someone to come in and try to scare her to death, but would he stoop so low as to try and kill her? She didn’t think he had the balls, although if he’d found out that she’d stolen this place from right under his nose he would be pissed off with her big time.
As Oliver parked his truck outside the front door she sensed movement from the attic and looked up. Her heart skipped a beat. Someone was looking down at them, watching. They wore a black hooded cape or gown with a flash of white across the chest. It was such a fleeting glance that Kate hadn’t even seen their face. She didn’t know if it was a man or a woman. She would hazard a guess at a woman. Those footsteps she heard most nights were light and sounded like those of a woman. She grabbed Ollie’s arm, her fingers clamping into his skin to stop him from getting out of the car.
‘What’s wrong?’
She pointed to the attic window. There was no one there. ‘Someone was watching us from the attic. They were dressed all in black. I couldn’t see their face.’
‘It might have been Ethan or Jack. I left them here. It can’t be anyone else unless…’
‘Unless what?’
He took a deep breath. ‘Unless this house is haunted like you said. I’ve been thinking about it all the way home and it would make a lot of sense. No matter how hard I try and figure it out I can’t understand about the crosses though. It’s as if someone is trying to protect you.’
‘Well I’m not ungrateful or anything if they are, but they’re not doing such a great job of it, are they?’
She held up her arm.
‘Wait here. I’ll go and see.’
Kate wanted to say no; instead she nodded her head. She watched Oliver get out of the truck and run towards the house. She looked up again then scanned the rest of the windows. She couldn’t see anyone except for Ethan. He was hanging out of the first floor bathroom window trying to paint the frame and looking like he was going to fall and break his neck, then he was gone. Oliver must have found him. She didn’t know what to do with herself. Her hands were trembling at the thought of her house being haunted. It was creepy. Who the hell was it and what were they doing?
Ollie came out of the front door and ran down the steps towards her.
‘Anything?’
‘No, Jack said he’s been painting the landing and no one has gone past him and they would have to if they wanted to gain access to the attic. Should we go inside so you can get changed and then we’ll take a look at the camera footage together? Your house might be haunted, but we need to rule out that there’s no one of the human variety, comi
ng in and messing around as well.’
She nodded and he pulled her door open, holding his hand out for her to steady herself. Her legs felt like jelly and her head hurt so much. She was never drinking whisky again. In fact the way she felt right now she wasn’t drinking again full stop – that was until the itch started in the back of her throat and it would only soothe with alcohol.
***
‘I haven’t told the lads anything. I said you’d slipped and cut yourself last night and they’d kept you in to make sure you were okay. I also came and cleaned the blood up this morning before they started so you wouldn’t have to come home and look at it.’
He put his head down. ‘If I’m interfering then please tell me to mind my own business. I’ll completely understand.’
She reached out for his arm and squeezed it. ‘No, you’re not interfering at all. I owe you my life. If you hadn’t come back last night…’ The sob took them both by surprise. ‘I’m sorry, Ollie, if you don’t mind I think I need to lie down. I feel like shit, I smell like shit and I know that I look like crap.’
He nodded. He wanted to kiss her then. Pull her close and wrap her up in his arms, tell her he’d keep her safe, but for all he knew she might not like that kind of corny, tough-guy behaviour. She walked towards her bedroom and he stood there watching her, his heart tearing in two. He couldn’t leave her alone in this house. He could ask her to stop with him, but he didn’t know if he’d be able to cope. Taking another woman into their house, which was filled with pictures and memories that he and Ellen had created.
‘Ollie, I’ve been shouting to you, mate. What are we doing about these bloody crosses? They are freaking us both out. Who the fuck keeps putting them up and why?’
He jumped, turning round to see Ethan leaning over the banister above him.
‘I don’t know, seriously if we take them down they get put back up. Until we can figure out who the hell is doing it you might as well just leave them for now. Listen, Kate’s not feeling too well so no banging around or shouting. Crack on with painting the hallway or something that isn’t going to disturb her.’