Chandler nodded but looked like she was giving me a sympathetic look.
That was the last thing I wanted. I didn’t want anyone to feel bad for me. I especially didn’t want Chandler to feel bad for me.
“So, this girl that Andy is out with, is she at least cute? Like it was worth it right?”
“She’s cute. He’s had a crush on her since freshman year, so I can’t blame him for wanting to jump at the opportunity to go out with her. I’d do the same if I were him.”
We were already almost home. This was so much better than having to walk home. She had to stop at the red light just before our development. This light always took forever.
Being alone with Chandler made me feel nervous. A part of me wanted to get out of the car as soon as possible. But the other part kind of liked the nervous feeling she gave me. It wasn’t a bad nervous, it was kind of euphoric.
I looked over and found Chandler staring at me with a concerned look. I was taken back by her staring at me.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“Yeah, sorry.” She shook her head and looked forward. The light still hadn’t changed. “I just got lost in my thoughts. Sorry.”
Was she blushing?
“Hey, I actually wanted to apologize to you,” I started.
“For what?” she asked.
“For acting like a total bitch on the first day of school.”
Chandler smiled knowingly. “You weren’t a total bitch.”
“No, I was. I always am. I’m really trying to work on that.”
“I’ll admit, I did think you were a bit of a bitch that day. But after I’ve gotten to know you a little, I wouldn’t call you a total bitch.”
“I would,” I laughed.
She giggled. “Well, maybe you’re a little bitchy. But I kind of like that about you. That scowl you always have on your face, it’s kind of cute.”
Did she just call me cute? Oh, God. I hope I’m not blushing now.
The light finally changed and we turned into the development.
“But, you know you have a really nice smile too. You should use it more often.”
Is she flirting with me? No! She’s probably just being nice. I’m reading too much into it. She’s probably not a freak like me.
“Thanks,” I replied sheepishly.
“You’re welcome, Faith,” she smiled. “Which house is yours?”
“It’s the one right there on the right.”
Chandler parked in the driveway, right next to mom’s car. She had definitely forgotten.
Chandler looked over at the car with a questioning look and then back at me.
I just pretended like everything was normal.
“Well, thanks for the ride. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Anytime,” she replied.
I got out of the car and grabbed my stuff from the back seat. Before I closed the driver side door I looked at Chandler and did the boldest thing I’d ever done. “By the way, you have a really nice smile too.” I closed the door before she could respond and walked towards the house.
Chapter 5
“I’m really sorry about yesterday,” Andy said as we both got out of the car the next morning.
“Andy, stop apologizing. It’s not your fault mom is too obsessed with her own life to remember to pick her own daughter up from school.”
I was starting to get fed up with mom constantly putting her marriage before everything else. Honestly, they didn’t have a great marriage to begin with. I didn’t know why she felt like she lost so much when dad left.
“Yeah, but I know how she can be. I shouldn’t have taken the car and left you without a ride. It won’t happen again. I promise.”
“Andy, seriously it’s fine. Luckily Chandler was able to give me a ride, so it all worked out.”
“Speak of the devil,” Andy smiled as Chandler pulled into the spot next to us.
More like speak of the angel. That was lame.
Chandler smiled as she got out of her car and grabbed her bag, shouldering it as she approached us.
“Hey, thanks for saving my sister yesterday,” Andy smiled.
“Oh, that was no big deal,” Chandler said as she waved her hand. “I’d give Faith a ride anytime.” She smiled at me and I went weak at the knees.
“No, it was a huge deal. Thanks again.”
“Anytime.”
The three of us started walking towards the school together.
“Hey, I have an idea of how we can pay you back,” Andy suggested.
“I told you it was no big deal. You don’t have to pay me back.”
“Just roll with me on this one. Brenda and I wanted to go out this Friday, but her cousin is in town and she has to hang out with him. Now Faith is dating Jason so she’s unavailable, but maybe I could hook you up with Brenda’s cousin.”
“Going out with some guy I don’t know. Why does that feel like I’m doing you a favor and not the other way around?” Chandler smiled at me.
“She has a point.”
“Oh come on. It’ll be fun. His name is Tyler. We could even make it a triple date. Faith, you and Jason can come.”
“I don’t know if I want to do that,” I grimaced.
“Well, I’ll go if Faith goes,” Chandler conceded.
I looked at Chandler in shock. I couldn’t believe she was agreeing to go out with a guy if I went along with it. Last I checked she didn’t want to date anyone in high school.
“Come on sis. It’s on you.”
After a moment I sighed. “Fine, I’ll go.”
Andy cheered. “Alright! You guys won’t regret it. It’ll be fun.”
Chandler and I smiled at each other, laughing at Andy’s excitement.
Chandler decided to sit next to me in constitutional law. As soon as she sat down in the desk next to me, I couldn’t help but smile. I felt like Chandler and I had a fresh start after last night. She even said she liked my bitchiness. I was pretty sure that was one of the nicest things anyone had ever said to me before. I guess that was saying a lot.
“Hey, I thought you didn’t want to date anyone in high school?” I asked Chandler quietly.
“I don’t, but it’s just one date with a guy from out of town. It can’t be that bad. Besides, you’ll be there so it’ll be okay.”
I smiled at that.
“I’m sure you all have heard that a huge part of your grade is the infamous debate project,” Mr. Evan announced.
A few students groaned, while a few others seemed to get excited about the project.
“Well, the rumor is true. The debate will be forty percent of your final grade. For those of you that aren’t good at math, that’s a pretty decent amount. So, it’s important that you guys do as well as you can. Now, we’ll be doing practice debates on different topics in class, but for your project you’ll have to choose your own topic. Preferably legalizing some type of fictional bill or something along the lines of that. It doesn’t matter what type of law. You could legalize marijuana for all I care.”
Some students cheered at that. Mr. Evan sure knew how to hold the class’s attention.
“All that matters is that you come up with valid points to make your argument. Now, you’ll have a partner so you’ll be able to bounce ideas off of each other. Before you ask, you can choose your own partners. Just make sure you choose wisely. You’ll have to find time outside of class to work on this. Now, I’m going to hand out the rubric and the format of the debate. I’ll also hand out a list of examples of past topics students have chosen so you can get some ideas.”
I turned to Chandler and looked at her optimistically. “Do you want to be partners?” I asked.
“Yeah, definitely,” Chandler smiled. “Give me your phone.”
“My phone?” I questioned.
“Yeah, you’ll need my number if we’re going to be working together,” she smiled with an obvious expression.
“Oh, right.” I handed her my phone and she started typing her numbe
r into my phone.
“There. I sent myself a text so now I have your number too.” She handed my phone back to me.
I couldn’t take my mind off of the fact that Chandler’s number was now in my phone. I had her number!
“Do you have Snapchat?” I asked her.
“Faith, who doesn’t?” She smiled at me. “I’ll text you my username.”
“Okay, I’ll add you.”
“You better,” she joked.
Being friends with Chandler was going to be great. I mean, I think that’s what we were becoming. Right?
For the rest of the week I kept sitting with Chandler in chemistry and she kept sitting next to me in constitutional law. Luckily because of the odd number of students in chemistry Mr. Bernstein just had Anthony work with Chandler and me for any labs we had. That was a relief since I already felt bad for switching seats on him.
“Hey, Anthony, maybe you could let one of us take the lead for the lab one day,” Chandler suggested.
“I told you, he’s a know it all.”
“I’m not a know it all,” Anthony said with a faked hurt expression. “I’m just passionate.”
“About being a know it all.” I smiled.
Chandler giggled. Even Anthony smiled at the joke.
“Are you excited for tonight?” Chandler asked me.
“I guess so. Are you? I mean you’re the one that’s going on a blind date.”
“Ugh, don’t remind me. I hope he’s not a douche.”
“If he’s related to Brenda, he might be.”
“Well, either way, you’ll be there so it’s cool. Even if he does end up being a douche.”
Our conversation was cut short by the end of school bell ringing.
“You guys can go,” Anthony said. “I’ll clean up.”
“You do everything else,” Faith joked. “You might as well.”
Chandler and I grabbed our stuff and left the lab together. As we were headed towards the senior hall way, Mr. Bishop stopped me. He was the theater director. I had him for intro to theater freshman year and then the next two levels for sophomore and junior years. This would be the first year that I didn’t have a class with him.
“Miss Cahill, I’m glad I caught you.”
“Hey, Mr. Bishop,” I smiled. “How’s everything?”
“Everything is great. The freshman class has some real potential. Of course, they’re not as good as your class was.”
Chandler smiled, waiting politely. She was so nice. I loved that about her so much.
“Listen,” Mr. Bishop continued. “I wanted to make sure you were going to audition for the winter play. Auditions are next week, but rehearsals don’t start until the end of October.”
“Yeah, about that, I’m not really sure if I’ll have the time this year. I have some pretty tough courses this year and soccer and then basketball in the winter. Then there’s college applications so I’m already pretty stretched as it is.”
Mr. Bishop looked disappointed. “I’ll understand if you decide it’s too much for you to handle. I wouldn’t want you to stress yourself out, but remember this is your senior year. It’s the last two productions you’ll be able to put on your resume.”
“I don’t think that I’m pursuing theater in college anymore,” I revealed.
“Well, I have to say I’m surprised about that. You’re an amazing performer Faith. I’d hate to see all of that talent go to waste.”
I looked down sheepishly. He didn’t get it. My parents would never accept me pursuing acting. It wasn’t a real job to them. Especially to mom.
“Just think about it okay, Faith?”
“Yeah, I’ll think about it.”
“Alright, have a great weekend.”
“You too.”
Mr. Bishop rushed off and Chandler and I started walking down the hall again.
“I didn’t know you were an actress,” Chandler smiled.
“I’m not, technically. I just liked it for a little while.”
“You don’t anymore?”
“I have to focus on college. Acting was fun, but I’m not going to do it forever.”
“If you like it that much, then you should.”
Chandler looked at me sincerely. I almost agreed with her. But then I remembered that my parents would never approve. They were paying for college. They would never let me major in theater.
Andy, Chandler, and I drove together to pick up Brenda and her cousin. Jason was meeting us there. I suddenly wasn’t looking forward to our triple date. It meant I had to pretend to be in a relationship with Jason. Technically we were in a relationship. I was the one pretending.
We were going to see some action film at the theater. When we got there Jason was already waiting outside of his car.
“Hey, babe,” he smiled.
“Hey,” I smiled back. I didn’t really like when he called me babe. I wasn’t his babe. At least I didn’t want to be.
We all walked into the theater together and bought the tickets. Jason paid for me, Andy paid for Brenda, and Tyler paid for Chandler.
After we bought our tickets we went to the concession stand and stood in line, waiting for our turn.
Tyler and Chandler were talking about something together. Chandler laughed and hit his shoulder.
What could they possibly be talking about? They just met.
Tyler was kind of cute and he seemed nice. He wasn’t anything like Brenda. Brenda could act really stuck up. I wasn’t sure why Andy liked her so much.
“You okay?” Jason asked me as he put his arm around me.
“Yeah,” I lied. “I’m great.”
I wasn’t great. I didn’t know why I agreed to this. I hated watching Chandler and Tyler together. I wanted to be the one talking to her, making her laugh. I wasn’t sure what that meant. I think I was jealous. How could I be jealous though? Chandler and I were just friends. That’s all we were ever going to be. I had to stop.
After we got some snacks, we went into the theater and took our seats. Chandler took the seat right next to me as soon as I sat down. Was she trying to be close to me?
No, we’re friends remember. She’s just being friendly.
When the movie started I had a hard time paying attention. Tyler kept whispering things into Chandler’s ear, earning several quiet giggles. It made me feel nauseous.
I needed a break from it all. I got up, causing Chandler to look at me with concern.
“You okay?” she asked.
“Yeah, I just have to go to the bathroom,” I answered in a whisper.
“Want me to come with you?”
“No, that’s okay. Stay. I’ll be right back.”
I moved past Chandler, Tyler, Brenda and Andy and made my way to the bathroom.
Luckily no one was in there so I felt like I could take a breather. What was wrong with me? I’d never felt like this before. I couldn’t be gay. I just couldn’t. As screwed up as my relationship was with my parents, I still loved them. I couldn’t take them rejecting me because of something like this. I could control this. I could. I just needed to remember that I was with Jason and Chandler was just my friend. Nothing more.
After five minutes I had to head back to the movie. As I exited the bathroom, Andy was standing outside of the door waiting for me.
“What’s going on Faith?”
“What do you mean?”
He looked at me and sighed. He knew me so well. Of course he could tell something was up.
“I’m just stressed out. That’s all. I have a lot on my mind.”
“You seemed fine earlier. What changed?”
“Nothing,” I lied. “Just drop it, please.”
“Faith, come on. Talk to me. We tell each other everything. I’m really worried about you.”
“You don’t have to worry, okay. It’s nothing.”
“So then there is something.”
I sighed. “Andy…”
“Just tell me,” he urged.
“I think I
like Chandler!”
Chapter 6
“What do you mean you like her?” Andy asked. “Like as a friend or…”
“No! Not as a friend.” I looked down sheepishly. I couldn’t take the scrutinizing look I knew I was going to get from Andy.
“Hey, it’s okay,” Andy pulled me into a hug. I hadn’t even realized I had started crying. “You’re my sister, Faith. I love you. That will never change, no matter who you like.”
“But, I can’t like her like that. I just can’t.”
Andy pulled away to look me in the eyes. “Why not?”
“You’ve heard mom and dad. I can’t be…” I stopped. I didn’t want to say it out loud.
“Faith, you have to do what makes you happy. You can’t do everything according to mom and dad. If you do you’re going to be miserable. If you like Chandler, you should explore that and find out what it means. You shouldn’t just ignore it.”
I sighed. Why couldn’t I just ignore it? It was easier that way. I didn’t want to admit that I might be different from everyone else.
“What does it matter? Chandler isn’t, you know…” I didn’t know why I was having such a hard time saying that word.
“Gay?” Andy smiled. “It’s not a bad word Faith. And how do you know she isn’t?”
“She doesn’t look it.”
“Do you? It’s the twenty-first century Faith. There are a lot of different gay people. Not all gay women are butch. She could be a femme.”
I looked dumbfounded at Andy. “How do you know all of this?”
“YouTube, duh.”
I shook my head at his answer.
“Besides, I’ve seen the way Chandler looks at you. Something tells me she might be feeling the same way as you.”
Part of me wished that were true. But, I knew I would never have the guts to find out for sure.
After my talk with Andy we went back to the movie and acted like nothing was wrong, even though it was still making me sick to watch Chandler and Tyler together. At least after the movie I was able to get a ride home with Jason.
I Like That About Her Page 4