I Like That About Her

by Aleks Mitchell

  “I have spent the last two months wanting to do what we did last night,” I admitted. “You make me feel something that I have never felt before. I… I don’t know what I am. But I know how I feel when I’m with you.”

  Chandler was gazing back at me captivatingly. I could see tears starting to form in her beautiful eyes.

  “I don’t want for it to not happen again,” I continued. “I don’t want to go back to just being friends. I can’t just be your friend, Chan. I want so much more than that. I can’t ignore how I feel about you.”

  “How do you feel about me?” Chandler asked quietly.

  I smiled adoringly at her, biting my lip nervously.

  I stepped closer to her, glancing down at her lips. The lips I wanted more than anything. I looked back up into her eyes and gently pressed my lips against her lips.

  Chapter 12

  After last night, I was in the best mood ever. Yeah, I still had a lot of issues I had to deal with, but at least I knew that Chandler and I both felt the same way about each other. I wasn’t really sure what last night made us or where we stood with each other, but I didn’t really need to label how I felt. We both liked each other. That was all that mattered.

  “Hey, ready for today?” Chandler asked me as she sat down next to me in constitutional law.

  “Totally!” I answered. I definitely sounded more upbeat than I usually did, which Chandler seemed to pick up on because she smiled at me with curious eyes.

  “You’re in a really good mood today,” she commented.

  “I am,” I smiled.

  Chandler reached over and put the back of her hand over my forehead. “You don’t feel sick, but something must be wrong,” she joked.

  “I can’t be genuinely happy without there being something wrong with me?”

  “You could, but I know you well enough to know that chipper is so not you. In fact, it’s kind of scaring me.”

  “I can be chipper,” I argued.

  Chandler quirked her eyebrow as she glared at me.

  “Fine, I’m not a chipper person. I wasn’t born that way, but recent events have made me at least somewhat chipper.”

  “I’d have to agree with that,” Chandler smiled knowingly.

  I smiled back. I had to look away from Chandler or I might have reached over and kissed her, outing us in the process. That was something I definitely wasn’t ready to do. I wondered if that was something she was ready for.

  “Alright, class, today we’re continuing with our debates,” Mr. Evan started. “Today we’ll have Chandler and Faith and then Bobby and David. Ladies, whenever you’re ready.”

  Ugh, this was it. I was suddenly nervous. I liked being on stage, but this was different. The last thing I wanted was to mess up and sound stupid up there.

  “Hey, it’s okay,” Chandler said. I guess she could tell I was nervous. “We’re well prepared. We’ve got this.”

  Somehow just hearing Chandler’s reassuring words made me feel a hundred times better.

  “I can’t believe we got an A,” I said as we entered the front door of my house.

  “I told you we were well prepared,” Chandler smiled. “When are you going to learn that I’m always right?”

  “I don’t know if you’re always right,” I smiled, putting my bag down on the kitchen table.

  “You have to admit, I’m right about a lot of things.”

  I smiled at her. “You’ve got me there.”

  Chandler smiled back at me. She was leaning against the counter. She looked so adorable. The only thing I could think about was kissing her, so I did.

  Chandler kissed me back, bringing her hands up to my hips. I caressed her cheeks as the kiss deepened.

  When we finally pulled away from each other we both smiled into each other’s eyes. “I have wanted to that all day,” I said quietly.

  “Me too,” she replied.

  “I just don’t know that I’m ready to go public at school,” I said carefully. The last thing I wanted her to think was that I was ashamed to be with her. That couldn’t be more far from the truth. “I mean I don’t even know what we are to each other yet. We haven’t really talked about it.”

  “Well, I’d like to think we’re girlfriends,” she smiled.

  “I like the sound of that,” I grinned back excitedly, biting down on my lower lip.

  “You’re so adorable, Faith,” Chandler said.

  “I know,” I joked. “So, you’re okay with not going public yet?”

  “Yeah, of course. Other people don’t have to know about us yet. Besides, it’s really not anyone’s business but ours.”

  “Agreed. But, I do think I have to break up with Jason.”

  Chandler sighed as she looked down. “Are you sure? I mean I completely get it if you’re not ready to yet.”

  “No, I have to. It’s not fair to him and it’s definitely not fair to you. You both deserve better than that.”

  Chandler smiled at me as she nodded her head in understanding. “Okay, but only if you’re sure. No pressure.”

  “I am.”

  I heard the front door open and then close. I heard high heels so I knew it was my mom that was home.

  “I am so sorry!” I said quietly to Chandler.

  “For what?”

  “My mom is home early.”

  Chandler looked startled but quickly smiled when my mom entered the kitchen.

  “Hey, mom,” I greeted. “You’re home early.”

  “Yeah, I had a last minute cancellation so I wasn’t able to fill the appointment spot on time. Who’s this?”

  “This is Chandler,” I smiled.

  “Oh, so you’re the infamous Chandler,” mom smiled.

  Chandler smiled. The look of relief on her face was priceless. “It’s nice to meet you Ms. Cahill.”

  “Oh, please, call me Vanessa.”

  Mom went to the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of water.

  “Since I’m home so early, I figured I would make dinner tonight. How do tacos sound?”

  “Sounds great,” I smiled.

  “Great, Chandler, would you like to stay for dinner?”

  “Sure,” Chandler answered hesitantly.

  That was one thing about my mom. She was the nicest person ever, when she wasn’t drinking. I wished she could just act like that all of the time and not let what happened with dad make her so depressed. It wasn’t her fault that he cheated. I wished she’d stop thinking that there was something wrong with her that made dad do what he did.

  “You know, you’re more than welcomed to spend the night. It is Friday after all.”

  My mom had just put me into a very awkward position. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to spend the night with Chandler. Obviously I didn’t expect anything to happen, but what if Chandler did?

  Chandler looked at me questioningly. She was probably thinking the same thing I was. I guess I was lucky I was dating a girl. Mom would never have invited Jason to spend the night.

  “I mean, if Faith wants me to I’m sure it would be fine with my parents.”

  Of course I wanted her to.

  “Sure, sounds fun,” I smiled awkwardly.

  “Great!” mom exclaimed.

  Ugh, poor mom. She had no idea what she had just done. I knew that if mom knew Chandler and I were dating there was no way in hell she would have allowed her to spend the night. She probably wouldn’t even allow her in the house anymore.

  It was a good thing mom didn’t know yet. I wasn’t looking forward to the day when she did.

  “Your mom seems really nice,” Chandler said from beside me on the bed.

  We were watching a show on Netflix in my room.

  “She is,” I smiled. “Drinking just changes her. It’s crazy what alcohol can do to a person.”

  “Did she always drink so much?”

  “No, it got really bad after my dad cheated on her.”

  “I’m so sorry Faith. It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it.” />
  “No, it’s fine. I mean a year ago I definitely wouldn’t have wanted to talk about it. But, I’ve moved past it. Besides, she’s the one he cheated on, not me.”

  “Yeah, but he’s your dad. I’m sure that hurt you as well.”

  “It did,” I nodded. “That’s why I still haven’t seen or spoken with him since he left.”

  “That has to be hard. Going from living with your dad to not seeing or speaking to him at all.”

  “It is, but it’s by choice so I can’t really complain. Andy still goes to see him, but I just can’t yet. I’m afraid I might say something I might regret.”

  “Were the two of you close? Before it happened?”

  “We were, very. He’s actually the reason I decided I wanted to become a lawyer, even though technically I don’t.”

  “He’s a lawyer?” she smiled

  “He was. Now he’s a judge.”

  Chandler’s eyes went wide in shock. She always made the cutest facial expressions.

  “Your dad is a judge?”

  “Afraid so.”

  “Ugh, I was so not expecting to be dating a judge’s daughter,” she joked. “This is so bad for me.”

  I laughed. “My dad’s not that type of judge. He’s actually really fair in the court room. He’s a really nice guy, minus the infidelity issues.”

  “Sounds like you really admire him,” Chandler commented.

  “I did. A part of me still does.”

  I guess I looked sad because she put her hand over mine and smiled sympathetically at me.

  “You know, sometimes people do bad things, but that doesn’t make them a bad person. Your dad made a mistake and I’m sure he regrets it. Especially if it cost him his relationship with you.”

  I smiled tearfully. She was right. My dad wasn’t a bad person. He just did a bad thing. Unfortunately it ended up ruining our family.

  Chandler suddenly reached over and tickled my sides, causing me to giggle right away. I was extremely ticklish. Especially my feet. I couldn’t even get a pedicure without cracking up.

  “What are you doing?” I laughed.

  “Making you happy again,” she shrugged.

  “By tickling me?”

  “It’s working isn’t it?” She reached over and tickled me again, this time for a little longer. I tried to squirm out of her hold, but she just tickled me harder.

  “Okay, seriously, stop,” I laughed.

  “Fine,” Chandler smiled as she stopped tickling me, but left her hands at my side, holding me tightly.

  We looked into each other’s eyes and smiled. She leaned in and kissed me softly.

  I deepened our kiss and caressed her cheek. My mom could walk in at any moment, but somehow I didn’t really care.

  Okay, I guess a part of me did care, but my feelings for Chandler made it impossible to focus on anything but her at the moment.

  Chapter 13

  Chandler and I spent the rest of the weekend hanging out together. On Saturday she spent the day at my house and then on Sunday I spent the day at hers. Luckily my mom and her parents hadn’t seemed to suspect anything was going on between us, aside from a really close friendship.

  School days felt like they dragged on longer now that Chandler and I were secretly seeing each other. It kind of made me want to go public with our relationship, at least at school. That way we wouldn’t have to suffer through the longing looks and not being able to do anything about it. It was so hard to resist kissing her. At least we could hug without it looking suspicious. Girls hugged all of the time and it didn’t mean anything.

  I looked forward to after school when mom wouldn’t be home. Unfortunately, today Chandler and I weren’t going to get to hang out after school. Rehearsals for the school play were starting today. Plus, I had to meet up with Jason afterwards. I finally had gotten the guts to stop avoiding him and have a conversation that I knew we needed to have. I could only cancel plans with him so many times. I had to break up with Jason.

  When I got to the auditorium Mr. Bishop was already handing out the script for the play.

  “Hey, Faith,” he smiled. “I’m glad you decided to take the role.”

  “Thank you for giving it to me,” I smiled, accepting the script from him.

  “Oh come on, it was a no brainer. You’re perfect for the role.”

  “Thanks. I’m really glad to be back in theater. I missed it, a lot.”

  “Well, there’s still room in next semester’s advanced theater workshop. I’d be glad to have you.”

  “I have a full course load next semester, but I’ll definitely think about it.”

  “Great!”

  I smiled as I sat down next to Tina. We had had theater class together since freshman year.

  “Hey,” she greeted me. “How’ve you been? I haven’t seen you around too much this year.”

  “I’ve been good. I have a lot of challenging classes this year and I’m back in soccer, so I’ve been super busy. I almost didn’t audition this year.”

  “That would have been a mistake,” she smiled. “You’re really good. We miss you in theater class.”

  “I miss you guys too. I might take it next semester though, so there’s that.”

  “You definitely should. It’s so much more challenging this year. You’d love it!”

  “Alright, everyone,” Mr. Bishop started from the front of the auditorium. “Today and for the next couple rehearsals we’re going to be doing cold readings throughout the entire script. We’ll run through it a few times together, but I do want you guys working towards memorizing your lines. I’d like you guys to be off book as soon as possible. Without further ado, let’s get started!”

  I smiled as I opened my script book. This was definitely where I belonged.

  After rehearsal I met Jason at the park down the road from the school. When I got there he was already standing outside of his car, leaning against it. He had his arms folded across his chest as he looked down at the ground. When he looked up and saw me parking he smiled.

  Ugh, this was going to be so hard. Why did I agree to go back out with him in the first place? I knew it wasn’t going to end any differently. The truth was I was trying so hard to make any relationship with any guy work that I completely ignored the fact that it wasn’t what I wanted. I didn’t have feelings for Jason the way I had feelings for Chandler. I was finally able to admit that to myself. Now I just had to admit that to everyone else.

  “Hey,” I smiled as Jason pulled me into a hug.

  “Hey you,” he smiled back.

  As we pulled apart I could see a knowing look in his eyes. He knew why I asked him to meet me here.

  “So, you wanted to talk?” he asked.

  “Yeah,” I sighed. This was so hard to do a second time. I really didn’t want to hurt Jason. It would be so much easier if he was a bad guy. The problem was he wasn’t a bad guy. In fact he was one of the most terrific guys I had ever met.

  “Okay, well how about we walk and you can say whatever it is that’s on your mind.”

  “Okay,” I smiled.

  We started walking down the jogging path. Jason kicked a rock as we walked.

  I was hesitant to start, which Jason quickly picked up on.

  “So, what’s going on?” he asked sweetly.

  Ugh, he was making it even harder by being so nice.

  “Jason, I…” I started but then suddenly found it hard to find the words I needed. I had gone through what I was going to say to him, but now I couldn’t seem to remember.

  “It’s okay, Faith,” Jason interrupted. “I already know.”

  “You do?”

  “Yeah, you want to break up.”

  I sighed as I looked out at the path ahead of us. “Was it that obvious?”

  “Well, we’ve been here before so I kind of could tell.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said, lamely.

  “Hey, it’s okay. I shouldn’t have pressured you into getting back together. We were at a good pl
ace in our friendship and I tried to make it more than it was, again.”

  “You’re a really great guy Jason,” I said as we looked into each other’s eyes. “And I know this is a total cliché, but it’s not you, it’s me.”

  “You’re right, that is a total cliché,” he laughed.

  “I’m serious though! I’m the one with the problem.”

  “You don’t have a problem, Faith,” he assured me. “We’re just not meant to be together like that. We’re better as friends. No worries.”

  I still felt like he felt like there was something about him that was the problem. I needed to make sure he knew that wasn’t the case. Even if that meant telling him the truth about me.

  “Jason, I could never really like you the way that you like me. I think I was just in denial for so long that I felt like I needed to make things work with you.”

  “In denial about what?” he questioned.

  I took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes as I finally told him the truth that I had been denying for so long. “I’m gay.”

  Jason looked surprised as he looked at the ground and then back at me. He looked like he was at a loss for words.

  “Please, say something,” I pleaded. “Anything. You can yell at me if you want.”

  “I would never yell at you for that,” he responded quickly. He looked at me and smiled caringly.

  “But, you should. I mean I suspected I might be for a while and I still dated you, knowing it would never work.”

  “You weren’t sure yet. How else would you be sure if not by dating?”

  “I just feel so guilty for how this all played out.”

  “Don’t feel guilty. You can’t feel guilty for something you didn’t really know yet.”

  “Still…”

  “Still nothing, Faith,” Jason interrupted me with a sweet smile. “I think it’s really brave of you to follow your heart. I know a lot of people wouldn’t if they were in the same circumstance. It’s unfortunate, but some people ignore their feelings and just stay unhappy for their whole lives. That’s no way to live. I want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy.”