I Can Explain

by Missy Johnson

  “Sure,” I say, way too brightly.

  I get up, taking the sheet with me, and then disappear into the room next door before Chase can say anything else to me. I walk over to the bed and lie down, still wrapped in sheets that smell like him.

  My heart pounds, because the guy I'm pretty sure I've falling in love with is in the room next to me, smelling of me whilst talking to his ex-wife. If that’s not messed up, then I don’t know what is.

  But I’ve got nothing to worry about, right?

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chase

  “So…Can I come in?” Casey asks coyly.

  She cocks her head and smiles at me. It’s a look that used to work on me, but it doesn’t anymore. I shrug and step aside, letting her into the room. I close the door and then turn around. I frown at her, not sure why she’s here or what she expects me to say. She stares at me for a long time, before she looks away, like she's embarrassed.

  And so she should be.

  “Look, I just wanted to thank you,” she says.

  “For what?” I ask with a frown.

  “For the last night? You were so nice and friendly with everyone…including me. I know that must have been hard,” she says, looking up at me. “I know how much having you here means to Josh. I also know it’s probably the last place you want to be.” She pauses for a moment. “It’s good to see you, Chase. You look happy.”

  “I guess I am,” I say.

  “Alana seems nice,” she offers.

  I nod and smile, my heart racing at the mention of her name. All I can think about is getting back to her and feeling the touch of her lips against mine. I could lock myself away with her for days, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

  “She’s pretty special,” I agree.

  “If it means anything at all to you, I'm glad you’ve found someone who makes you happy,” Casey whispers.

  “Because that lessens your guilt?” I ask. Her face goes red, and I sigh.

  I didn’t need to say that.

  “I’m not here to make you feel bad, Casey. I really am here for Josh. I didn’t want him standing up there alone on a day that should be celebrated with family...”

  I frown, realizing just how much we really need each other for support. We’ve missed out on so much over the past year because of this.

  Casey shakes her head, tears filling her eyes.

  “I'm sorry, Chase. I shouldn't have come here. I’m the last person you probably want to speak to, which I totally understand. It’s just you were so friendly the other night that I thought we could get past this…” She shakes her head. “I'll see myself out,” she mumbles.

  I watch her as she walks over to the door. It never entered my mind to stop her, because she’s right. She is the last person I want to be spending my time with right now. Just as she turns the handle to walk out, she turns back to me.

  “One more thing,” she says softly.

  “Yes?” I say. I clench my hands into fists in my pockets. She can’t look me in the eyes, so I know where this is going.

  “I never did thank you. For not telling Josh the truth about what happened,” she says.

  “I love my brother,” I reply, as if it’s that simple. “It would have achieved nothing, other than him feeling as hurt as I was.”

  Her face falls. She nods and then walks out of the room.

  I wait until she closes the door before I let myself relax. I sigh, my heart racing. I needed that, probably as much as she did, because things never really felt resolved between us. I hadn't realized how nervous I'd be about seeing her again until she was there in front of me the other night.

  Today, even though not much was said, being able to look her in the eye and not feel like I was going to fall apart feels like a huge step forward. It’s taken a year, but that chapter of my life has finally come to an end. I walk around the room for a moment to gather my thoughts. I flex my fingers, trying to get my blood flowing. My hands are shaking from the adrenaline still pumping through my body.

  The only person I really care about, aside from my brother, is sitting in a room next to this one, no doubt wondering what the hell is going on. All the truth is doing right now is sitting in the back of my mind, festering away, while I worry how she's going to react when she finds out.

  I need to tell her everything. If I don’t, I’m going to lose her.

  I walk over to the door connecting our rooms and gently knock, before opening it. She stands next to the bed, throwing her things into her suitcase. She doesn’t look up, instead putting extra anger into her packing.

  She’s taking this well.

  “What are you doing?” I ask her.

  She zips up the case and then yanks it off, before glaring at me.

  “I'll be here for the damn wedding, if that’s what you’re worried about,” she mumbles.

  “I don’t care about that. I care about where are you’re going. Are you leaving?” I ask her.

  She sighs, finally stopping long enough to meet my gaze.

  “I'm requesting another room. One on a different level.”

  “Away from me, you mean,” I say, feeling hurt. She shrugs. “Why?” I ask.

  “Why?” she repeats. Her eyes flash. “You fucked me all night, Chase. Do you remember that? You made me come four times. And then this morning, your ex-wife knocks on the door and I’m whisked into the other room. How do you think that made me feel?” she whispers, tears forming in her eyes. She sinks down onto the bed, her expression helpless. “God, I hate you so much for how you make me feel. I can't do this anymore, Chase.”

  She laughs hysterically. I watch her, alarmed as the laughter turns into tears.

  Has she finally lost it?

  “Your name is so applicable,” she giggles through her tears. “Because that's what I feel like I’m doing. Chasing you.” I sit down next to her.

  “Do you want to know what we spoke about in there?” I ask. She stiffens, not answering me. I continue anyway. “You. Pretty much the whole time she was in there, I was talking about you.”

  “Really?” she asks. She frowns at me. “Why was she there in the first place?”

  “Because we ended things badly,” I say honestly. “We both needed closure.” I reach over, placing my hand on top of hers. She relents, letting me move her closer to me. “In case I haven't made it crystal clear how I feel about you?” I snake my arm around the back of her neck and bring her face closer to mine. “This is how I feel,” I murmur softly, pressing my lips against hers.

  She sighs and lies back on the bed, while I lie next to her. I kiss her, just enjoying the feel of her lips against mine. I harden as her fingers move over my crotch, and I release a groan.

  “If we didn't have a wedding to get ready for right now, you know exactly what I’d be doing to you,” I mutter. She laughs and then smiles at me, enjoying the fact that she winds me up so damn much.

  After a quick shower, I change into my tuxedo.

  Standing in front of the mirror, I button up my jacket while staring at my reflection. I frown, because I feel more like I'm attending a funeral than a wedding. Alana walks into the room. I catch a glimpse of her in the mirror, and I'm stunned. I turn around and take her in, unable to form words to tell her how amazing she looks.

  “Is this okay?” she asks, running her hands down over the dress. She frowns as she examines my expression, my lack of response obviously making her insecure. I shake my head and clear my throat.

  “I can't even begin to tell you how beautiful you look,” I say hoarsely.

  My heart pounds as I walk over to her. I take her hand and wrap it around my waist, pressing my lips against hers.

  “How am I supposed to get through today, when you're standing meters away from me, in that dress?” I ask. “I'll be thinking dirty, dirty things about you the entire time.”

  She laughs, her cheeks flushing red.

  “Not to ruin the moment or anything, but we’d better get moving or risk walking in ther
e late,” she points out.

  She takes my hand. I hesitate, because I really want to tell her everything before the wedding. But she’s right. We don’t have time. Enough eyes will be on me today already, without giving people another reason to hate me because we’re late.

  We take the elevator down to the ground floor and make the short walk across the hotel grounds to the little chapel down by the beach. Alana glances at me when we reach the doors, confusion in her eyes.

  “If we’re this close to the beach, why not get married on the beach?” she asks.

  “Because Casey doesn’t like sand,” I smirk.

  There’s no one around==no one milling around outside, which means everyone is already inside, probably sitting down, waiting for those doors to open so they can all turn and stare at Casey. Only when they turn, they’ll be getting an eyeful of me first.

  “Are you ready?” she asks.

  I nod. But then I laugh.

  “Honestly? Not really, but I know that I need to do this. For Josh.”

  We walk inside, trying our best not to draw attention to ourselves, but it doesn’t matter. I could’ve skydived in through the roof, wearing a tutu and nipple tassels, and it would’ve garnered the same reaction. Every pair of eyes in the chapel turns to stare at me. I feel sorry for poor Alana, because she's going to cop as much wrath I am.

  I glance at her and she shrugs, like she can’t understand their reaction. I can. But it's a hard thing to explain why everyone, including my own brother thinks that I cheated on my wife.

  I hold my breath and smile as I see people I once knew, pretending I don’t notice the disapproving glares and angry expressions. I expected a reaction, but this is extreme. What were you expecting with a gathering of Casey’s extended family and friends? A hug and a cheer? I can’t understand why Josh wanted me here at all, let alone to be his best man.

  I leave Alana down by the door—which will come in handy if things get hairy and she needs a quick escape—and walk up to stand on the stage next to my brother. He glances over and squeezes my arm.

  “Thanks for being here,” he mumbles. Then he laughs. “Holy shit, I'm nervous. Is that normal? Were you this nervous when you…” His voice trails off. He stares at his feet, flustered. I smirk and choke back a laugh over what he was about to ask me. “Sorry man,” he mutters, shaking his head. “I'm just not thinking straight at the moment.”

  “It's fine.” I grin. “And yes I was this nervous when I married your wife.”

  The music starts playing. I straighten up a little and glance toward the door, along with everyone else in the room. They swing open and Casey appears. She looks stunning, as I expected, wearing an elegant, yet simple white dress.

  She passes me on her way to Josh. I smile at her and she smiles back. I take a deep breath and clasp my hands in front of me as the celebrant begins the ceremony.

  After they exchange their vows, and her mother reads a poem, the ceremony is concluded with their first kiss. I clap along with everyone else and smile at all the right times. Just when I think I can’t take anymore, I glance down at Alana and see her watching me. She nods and blows me a kiss. I smile and look down, her belief in me enough to help me push on.

  After the ceremony is over, I walk back down to the front of the chapel, where Alana is waiting for me. I take her hand and squeeze it. As much I hate to admit it, I’m glad I was there to witness their marriage. I would have regretted it if I hadn’t come.

  “Glad that's over with?” she asks with a grin.

  “More than you know,” I murmur.

  We walk outside and hang around until I’m done with the obligatory photos that I need to be present for, and then we’re free for a couple of hours to do our own thing. Standing there with her family didn’t feel awkward at all. The second I'm able to leave, I do, taking Alana’s hand and leading her down to the river, where we sit down.

  “What time does the reception start?” she asks.

  “Four,” I reply, glancing at my watch. “So, we have two hours to fill in.”

  “Two hours,” she repeats slowly. She raises her eyebrows, her eyes sparkling. “How on earth are we going to manage that?”

  I chuckle and stand up, taking her hand.

  “I can think of a few ways,” I tease. She giggles as she lets me help her to her feet.

  We race back to the hotel like a couple of horny teenagers, kissing and touching each other along the way. The moment the doors close on that elevator, I'm all over her. I tilt her face, so I can kiss her neck, and press her up against the wall. She groans as my hands roam over her dress. I press my mouth against hers.

  She sighs, her hand running down over my erection. I groan, barely able to control myself. At this point, I don't care who enters the elevator, because removing my hands from her body just isn’t possible.

  We stumble out on our floor and race down the hallway until we’re outside our rooms. I lift her into my arms and swipe my key, swinging the door open, while still managing to kiss her. She sighs as I carry her over to the bed and throw her down. All I want to do is get her out of that dress and fuck her as hard as she can take it. She sits up, unzipping the back of her dress, while I watch. I step forward, ready to assist, but she stops me.

  “Uh-uh. Stand back there,” she says, a devilish smile forming on her lips.

  I groan but do as I’m told.

  She stands, ensuring that she’s just out of my reach, before she lowers the delicate lace straps of her dress. I swallow, my throat dry as she inches the dress lower and lower, before eventually letting it go.

  “Stay there,” she murmurs, sensing my urge to touch her.

  She reaches behind her back and unclasps her bra, holding the fabric over her breasts while she unthreads her arms. Then she slides her panties down over her legs, before stepping out of them.

  God, she’s incredible.

  Fuck her rules. With a growl, I lunge forward and take her into my arms, throwing her back down on the bed. She laughs as I lift her legs over my shoulders. I unzip my pants and free my cock, lining it up with her pussy. She gasps as I thrust myself inside her with more urgency and determination than I ever have before. Watching her strip like that almost had me coming there and then, so I know I’m close.

  I kiss her thighs as I ram myself into her. She gasps, reaching above her head to the wall for support. I growl as my body convulses, and I come, releasing hard into her wet pussy.

  She gasps and clenches her thighs around my neck as my length fills her. Breathless and exhausted I groan as my movements slow to a gentle rock.

  “Wow,” she mumbles, her eyes wide. She laughs as I lower her legs and collapse onto the bed next to her. “Where the hell did that come from?”

  “Sorry,” I grin. “I guess seeing you in that dress really turned me on.”

  She smiles and rolls over, nestling into my arms. She falls asleep as I stroke her hair. I watch her, letting her rest, because she fucking earned it. When she wakes up, I’ll tell her everything. I watch her sleep, in awe of how beautiful she is. The way she makes me feel is so surreal, like I can’t quite let myself believe that things could be this good.

  We make it back to the reception just before the bride and groom arrive. Even though I intended on staying awake, I must’ve fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew, it was nearly four.

  We spend the next hour staying out of people’s way and pretending that neither of us notice the whispering and pointing. Maybe now would be a good time to tell her the truth. I glance around to make sure we’re alone, but before I can broach the subject, she turns to me.

  “I’m just going to run to the bathroom,” she whispers in my ear.

  She’d been gone for a few minutes, when someone approaches me. They clear their throats, and I look up. I stiffen when I see Casey’s parents standing there. I've done my best to avoid them all day, but it seems they were just waiting for the chance to talk to me alone. I haven’t seen or spoken to them since bef
ore my split with Casey.

  God knows what they think of me, or what she’s told them.

  “I guess I should thank you for not ruining our daughter’s day,” her father says gruffly.

  “Oh, I did my best to refrain from doing that,” I say.

  I’m not helping the situation with my tone, but I can’t help myself. I didn’t even like them when Casey and I were together. He glares at me.

  “You don't think it was a valid concern for us that you might pull some sort of stunt?” he leers. “You did ruin her life, after all.”

  I sigh and rub my head. I don’t want to do this here, of all places, for Josh’s sake, but if he keeps pushing me, I’m going to push back.

  “I'm sorry for what happened between Casey and me—”

  “Are you?” he barks, cutting in. “Because you seemed to have moved on. I’m so happy that you were able to move onto new things so quickly. Do you to have any idea how hard it was for Casey to get over you cheating on her?”

  “Well, considering how quickly she jumped into my brother’s bed, I’d say she got over me pretty damn fast,” I retort.

  I hear a gasp. I know it’s Alana before I even turn around. She stands there, her eyes wide, staring at me.

  “Shit,” I mutter.

  I knew there was a risk of her finding out like this, but I didn’t expect it to be from my own mouth. She mutters something incoherent and then turns around, rushing out of the room.

  “You better go after her, so you can ruin her life too,” Casey’s father chortles.

  I glare at him, wanting nothing more than to wipe the smirk of his face—preferably with my fist, but I need to speak to Alana. I race outside and look around, spotting her running through the gardens, back toward the hotel.

  “Alana, wait,” I call out, but she doesn’t stop.

  I finally catch up to her just before she reaches the doors. I grab hold of her arm, stopping her in her tracks. She turns around and glares at me, the anger in her eyes making me step back. I thought all I needed to do was explain, and she’d understand, but now I’m not so sure.