Milly was surprised when they were joined by Mrs Connor. “My Lord, you must join us at the top of the set,” Mrs Connor said, almost rounding them up as she chivvied them up the line of people already taking their places. “No one could ever say I don’t know how to give rank it’s precedence.” She hurried them along, her dress edged in some feather-like material which made her slightly rounded figure look decidedly rotund.
Milly would have rather started the set lower down as she was now in a set of four with two people she would have preferred to avoid. Some of the pleasure had been taken out of the next hour, but she could not help returning the smile that Henry was giving her.
They started to move through the dance, and Henry saw that Milly was uncomfortable every time she had to make contact with Mr Connor. It was very interesting. There was obviously some history, and it did not need a genius to work out why Mrs Holland berated her daughter about no longer living in the home. Mrs Holland had clearly wanted Milly to marry Mr Connor.
Henry felt the smile on his face slip as he thought that Mr Connor might be the person who had shared Milly’s first kisses. He frowned darkly as the gentleman passed him in the set, looking at Henry in surprise before a glance at Milly caused him to flush. Henry glowered at the man; he had obviously guessed correctly.
The remainder of the dance passed in discomfort for three of the set of four. Only Mrs Connor seemed oblivious to the undercurrent that was making the two dances pass inordinately slowly. Finally, when the second dance came to an end, Henry bowed to Milly and the Connors before taking Milly’s hand and placing it firmly on his arm in an act of possession. He walked through the milling crowds until they reached the edge of the ballroom.
“My Lord?” Milly asked a little puzzled at the change in behaviour. She had been so wrapped up in her own discomfort she had failed to notice the change in Henry until the end of the second dance. True, there had been little conversation during the dance, but she had presumed that was on account of herself not wishing to enter into any chatter; every word she could have uttered would have been overheard by the Connors, and she wanted to avoid that at all costs.
“You’ve kissed that man!” Henry hissed at her; although he was angry, jealous and nettled, all rolled into one confusing swirl of emotions, he kept his voice low. He was not about to expose her to anyone else’s censure, apart from his own of course.
Milly could not prevent the flush spreading across her cheeks, but she faced Henry her head held high. “I did.” His angry reaction to the knowledge was baffling to say the least, but she was not going to deny something she had done in the flush of youth when she had been engaged and believed herself to be in love. Kissing the man she should have spent the rest of her days with had not been wrong then and she was not going to feel shame for it now.
Henry would swear afterwards that someone had kicked him forcefully in the stomach, the pain was so intense. Some indication of the pain he felt flashed across his face before he schooled his features into a more appropriate one. “And can I ask when these kisses occurred and why you would kiss a man who is now married to another?”
The censure and condemnation in Henry’s voice brought tears to Milly’s eyes. Angrily blinking them away, she wondered what it was about Henry that turned her into a watering pot. She rarely cried and yet, here she was, the second time in not too many weeks wanting to cry over the opinion that Henry had of her. Was it bitter regret that he could not see her in a different light? Probably, she mused, trying desperately to get herself back under control.
Milly thrashed about in her mind for how best to respond. She could not storm away from Henry; a scene was the last thing she wanted to cause. Eventually, she stood straight and looked Henry directly in the eyes. “You are here to protect me from the perceived threat of Joshua Shambles. Keep your impertinent questions to yourself, My Lord; I am under no obligation to explain my actions now or in the past to you or anyone else. Please excuse me.”
Milly turned and left Henry at the side of the ballroom. The next dance was underway; no one noticed Henry balling and releasing his fists as he tried to calm himself. He wanted to pummel Mr Connor into at least the next century, but he could not. He had no right to feel so insanely jealous, but his reasoning did not ease the intense feeling he was suffering from. Outwardly, the only indication of his turmoil was a muscle twitching in his cheek.
He was eventually disturbed by the approach of Sarah. “Shall we seek some refreshment, My Lord? This evening is proving to be uncommonly hot,” she said, still wafting the ever present fan.
Henry nodded slightly and followed the woman through the ballroom and into the dining room. They were both handed a glass of wine, and Sarah sat in an alcove, indicating that Henry should join her. Insipid conversation was the least attractive prospect at the moment, but Henry complied with Sarah’s request with only the smallest of sighs. He was amused to think that his friend Edmund would be laughing loudly at Henry’s discomfort; Henry had always been the social butterfly of the two of them, making them both perfect to act as spies for the state. Henry was welcome in the highest households, his charm and wit making him a popular guest, whereas Edmund had been welcomed in the less salubrious establishments until he had met his new wife.
“Now then, My Lord, I have an inclination that you are not happy with my dear friend,” Sarah started. Milly had only needed to say the fewest of words before Sarah had grasped the situation and, although Milly had sought an escape from Henry into the drawing room, Sarah had sought out the peer.
“In truth I don’t know what I am, Mrs Hastings,” Henry answered honestly, for the first time voicing his confusion.
Sarah hid a smile; it seemed very likely that Milly had ensnared the eligible Earl after all. “Milly doesn’t like speaking about that time.”
They spoke quietly to each other, but the people visiting the room for food and drink were transient enough to not be able to overhear their conversation.
“I’m not surprised.”
“And yet you don’t know the story,” Sarah responded, looking at Henry with an expression of annoyance and disappointment. “You have condemned my friend without knowing what happened and what she was put through.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Of course you don’t. Most people in this town don’t either. It’s little wonder she stayed away for over four years. There was a time when I thought she would never return,” Sarah said sadly.
Henry’s anger and jealously started to be replaced with feelings of dread. “What happened?”
“That, My Lord, are the first reasonable words you have uttered so far! Seeking the truth instead of presuming the worst as so many do. There is hope for you yet.”
Henry raised his eyebrows but refrained from speaking.
“Milly and Mr Connor were engaged to be married.” Sarah noticed with reassurance the sharp intake of breath but did not react or comment on it. “He’s always been a little full of his own self-importance in my eyes, but he romanced Milly until she was utterly smitten with him. We didn’t know it then, but he was very motivated to achieve exactly what he wanted.”
“Milly’s father was in far too much debt, and it was catching up with him. In fact, before she left Milly confessed to wondering if he took that walk in the pouring rain purposely hoping to catch a chill. As you know, he did fall ill and died as a result. It was only hours after the death when the creditors started knocking on the door. News travels fast and people who are owed money make their claim quickly.”
“Had the family no idea?” Henry asked.
“If the boys had been older, maybe they would’ve noticed, but with only Milly and Mrs Holland at home, so many debts could be hidden. I was with Milly when the first creditors knocked. She was grieving for her father whilst being faced with caller after caller. I will never forget the expression of hurt and bewilderment as Milly asked herself why she had not noticed or guessed that he was overspending. At that point she didn
’t blame her parents; now though, she has had time enough to realise that both her parents were foolhardy in the way they lived their lives. A shame it is their children who have suffered as a result.”
“Connor?” Henry queried, knowing that there was no happy ending to the story.
“Milly’s cousin, Charles, immediately came down to support the family and try to find out what could be done to help. They presumed that Milly would be taken care of since she was already engaged. Her dowry had been reasonable, but not huge and, although lost, it shouldn’t have affected their overall lifestyle; Mr Connor had some funds. Unfortunately, for Milly there was a blow to occur none of us foresaw.”
“She called off the engagement? Why would she do that?”
“Nothing so simple, My Lord. Mr Connor, the man who had pursued her so diligently, quickly took stock of the situation and informed Milly that he could no longer marry her. It caused an uproar within the family, but he offered, professing to be a gentleman while he uttered the vile words that he would allow Milly to call off the wedding. That way she would save some of her reputation and would dampen a little of the gossip that was inevitable.”
Henry felt sick. A girl who had no dowry and was reputed to have called off an eligible engagement would be the laughing stock of the town; although it would be better that than to know her beau had withdrawn his offer. Her reputation would be irreparably damaged whichever way she chose to act.
“Yes, I see you recognise the issue,” Sarah said approvingly. “Milly refused to call the engagement off, saying that she had made the commitment and nothing had changed in her eyes. I think in some way she was trying to test him, which of course he failed spectacularly. So, the result of the horrible situation was he ended the engagement. There was no possibility of stopping the gossip, and oh, they were so shocked; nothing else was spoken of for weeks. You can only imagine what it was like, but to those who were close to Milly, it was horrendously cruel.”
“The poor girl.” For the first time in a long time Henry felt the anger he had experienced once before at the unjust way situations could so easily turn out. It bubbled beneath his reasonably calm surface, but anyone seeing his eyes would have stepped back at their fierceness.
“Yes, exactly. She kept her own personal integrity but became the talk of the town. That increased tenfold when, three weeks after the split, Mr Connor arrived in Farnham with his new, very wealthy wife, who we’d all known growing up. The family had moved away, the father going into business somewhere in Portsmouth and making a very large profit. It was a surprise that they returned to Farnham really; most don’t want to broadcast to the people they socialise with that they have made their money through trade. Mrs Connor’s parents wanted a large house for their newly married daughter and, of course, Mr Connor knew of the perfect one.”
“He could have picked anywhere in the country,” Henry ground out.
“Exactly. He lost a lot of goodwill by moving into this house. It was as if he was flaunting what he’d done in front of Milly when she’d done nothing wrong. Milly left the area with her cousin to join Clara as companion soon afterwards, and we haven’t seen her for four long years.”
“She shouldn’t have hidden from everyone.”
“I don’t think she was hiding after the first few months had passed. You’ve seen Mrs Holland and can appreciate what a–let’s just say what a character she is; I think Milly began to enjoy her time with her cousins,” Sarah said trying to be diplomatic and failing.
Henry smiled. “Yes, Miss Holland has alluded to her mother’s foibles.”
“The pathetic thing is that, since Milly’s return, both Mr and Mrs Connor seem to always need to make Milly feel uncomfortable in order to prove to themselves of their own happiness. I don’t understand their motivation.”
“I can understand the wife. She must know she was married purely for her money,” Henry mused.
“Perhaps, but there is no need to take it out on my friend. It seems everything is done to make Milly fully aware of what she lost. It wouldn’t be so bad, but Mrs Connor played with us all as children; since then she seems to have forgotten the loyalty that friends should share,” Sarah said crossly.
“Milly has a good friend in you, Mrs Hastings.”
“But I can only do so much, as can be seen by her intent on travelling to Ireland. We will never see her again, of that I’m sure. I wish there was a way of keeping her here, but also stopping her being the target of the Connors at the same time.”
“If you would excuse me Mrs Hastings, I’ve a few things to mull over,” Henry said suddenly, standing and making his bow to Sarah. Henry needed to clear his head of everything that was flying around inside, and a house holding a large ball was definitely not the place to do it.
He made his way through the throng and, after speaking to a footman, entered into the study. Closing the thick wooden door brought some peace from the noise of the evening. He needed time to process what he had been told. He would never have guessed that there was such a history between Milly and the Connors, but it did explain some of their behaviour towards her. He tried to push the feelings of anger and jealousy to one side. The man who had experienced her first tentative kisses had not deserved them.
One thought whirled around his mind, and each time it seemed to spiral into a tighter, more disturbing thought. She could still be in love with Mr Connor. He tried to push it away; she did not deserve his anger, but every time he allowed the thought to penetrate into his consciousness, he felt a rage that made him shake.
He needed to speak to her, so opening the door, he directed a footman to locate Milly and ask for her to see him. The large coin he gave the servant would ensure that the footman carried out the task discreetly.
Henry paced in front of the large desk that filled the room until the door opened slowly, revealing Milly. “My Lord?” she asked curiously.
“Miss Holland, forgive me, but I need to speak to you,” Henry said, crossing the room and gently pulling her over the threshold and closing the door behind them. No one of importance noticed her entrance as the hallway was busy with staff rather than guests, everyone in the midst of the evening’s entertainment.
“At a ball?” Milly was intrigued but also aware that their behaviour was foolish at best.
“I’ve heard what happened between you and that beast Connor,” Henry ground out. It had perhaps not been his finest idea to start the conversation when he was still so angry.
“Oh,” came the dull response.
“Oh? Is that all you have to say on the subject?” Henry almost exploded, but he did not grasp the reason why.
“What else is there to say? I was rejected by the man I thought loved me, and now every time I see him or his wife, it’s as if they are laughing at me. Would speaking of my confusion make the situation better? I think holding my counsel on the subject is far more preferable for everyone concerned. You never know; they may tire of what they are doing, either intentionally or unintentionally; I haven’t dwelled on it enough to decide which.” Milly had responded more heatedly than she would have normally, but the evening had been a strain, one that had made her head pound with tension. To be faced with Henry making goodness knew what assumptions of the whole sorry episode had pushed her over the edge of restrained, civilised conversation.
“No it wouldn’t make it better. How can you stand to see the man that you are without doubt still pining for lording it over your ancestral home?” Henry asked savagely. That was it he realised, the reason he was so angry. Apart from being angry because of her mistreatment, he was incensed at the fact she was still in love with Connor.
“Wait one moment! I’m still pining for him?” Milly asked in disbelief. “Why on earth would I long for someone who broke my heart and embarrassed me in front of everyone I had ever known? Have you completely lost your mind, My Lord?”
“Yes, I think so.”
Milly was surprised at the response but waited to see if there would be a
ny further explanation. The whole evening had been an unmitigated disaster in her eyes, and she could not wait to return home.
“I’m sorry,” Henry finally said. “I can’t help it.”
“Help what?”
“That I want to be the only one who kisses you,” Henry said before enfolding Milly into his arms and kissing her every bit as urgently as he had the last time she had sent his emotions tumbling over each other.
Milly wrapped her arms around Henry’s neck, fully responding to his kisses. They were, after all, what she had been dreaming of for weeks. This time was different though; this time he had said he wanted to kiss her; perhaps he felt something of the confusion she was suffering.
She sighed as he moaned her name, deepening his kiss. She had only experienced his touch once before, but she had missed it every day since. He would have to be the one to stop the kisses; Milly did not have the will to pull away.
They were both so engrossed that neither were aware that the door had opened until they were brought to their senses by the words. “My Good God! I don’t believe I am seeing this!”
Mr Connor faced them with a furious expression, his anger aimed mainly at Milly. “Miss Holland! I feel you have gone too far in sullying our home with your wanton behaviour!”
Chapter 11
Milly tried to spring away from Henry but she was prevented by his arms holding her firmly but gently in place.
Henry turned to Mr Connor, standing like an indignant father in the doorway. “Sullying your home?” he said his voice still husky from the emotion of the kisses.
“Yes, I expect appropriately respectable behaviour from my guests, not this impropriety! Although I suppose I shouldn’t be really surprised!” Mr Connor snapped, glaring at Milly.
“And yet you have aimed your censure at one of us, not both,” Henry mused, making Mr Connor look uncomfortable. Henry smiled down at Milly, adoration in his eyes. “Explain to me how kissing the woman I am to marry is something we should apologise for? Did you never exchange kisses when you were betrothed? I’m more than certain you did. Which makes your words a tad hypocritical don’t you think?”
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