by Amy Clipston
“I trust you.”
The words were simple, but they touched him deeply.
“I think he has gravitated toward you because he misses Simeon so much,” she continued, no doubt unaware of how her words had affected him. “I think you remind him of Simeon, and he misses having a bruder.”
Jamie nodded while keeping his eyes focused on the road ahead. Her comparing him to her older brother, whom he’d known to be a fine man, was so overwhelming he didn’t know how to respond.
“How is your family today?” she asked.
He shrugged. The grief still hung over them like a dark cloud. “Not much has changed, really.”
“Has Cindy spoken to you yet?”
The question caught him off guard, and he cut his eyes to hers. “No, she hasn’t.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” She sighed. “Cindy got upset last night.”
“Did she get upset with you?” He gripped the reins tighter. “What did she say?”
“No, no. Cindy didn’t get upset with me. She didn’t say anything.” She touched his arm, and the gesture sent warmth that extinguished his irritation. “We were getting ready for supper, and Eva asked Laura and Cindy how they were doing. Laura talked about how difficult it’s been, and Cindy rushed off to cry by herself. Laura shared a little bit of what you’ve been going through with Cindy, and that she’d tried to encourage Cindy to talk to you. She said Cindy hasn’t been able to talk about what happened at all. She’s really having a tough time.”
He kept his focus trained on the road as an ache radiated through his chest. “I guess Cindy finally came back since she had supper with us.”
“Ya, Laura went and talked to her. I don’t know what she said, but she convinced her to join us. Cindy was quiet, but she seemed okay.” She turned to look at him. “Eva felt so bad. She thought she could try to help your schweschdere because she’s knows how difficult it is to lose someone, but she never meant to hurt Cindy.”
“It wasn’t anything Eva said. I hope she knows that.” He halted the horse at a stop sign and once more angled himself toward Kayla. “Cindy’s just different now that Mamm is gone. It’s like she can’t keep her emotions in check. But we’re all different now. Mei daed hasn’t had the strength to help with chores. I’ve never seen him so run-down and depressed. Mark tries to crack jokes, but I can tell how deeply this is affecting him too. We’re just not the same without Mamm.” When a knot of emotion swelled in his throat, he paused, gathering his thoughts. “I’ll talk to Eva and tell her she shouldn’t feel bad.”
“That’s not necessary.” Her gaze was warm. “I’m worried about you and your family. How are you coping?”
“I guess I just go through the motions every day.”
“That’s how I felt when we lost Simeon. On the bad days, I tried my best to recall this verse from the gospel of Luke. Jesus said to the Samaritan, ‘Rise and go; your faith has made you well.’” She tapped his arm. “Your faith will heal your heart and make you well again.”
Her deep faith and kindness warmed his battered heart. What Nathan told him about her ex-boyfriend echoed in his mind, and confused him. How could a man break up with someone as special and thoughtful as Kayla? He would be blessed to call her his girlfriend.
The notion sent his heart tripping over itself. Did he have the confidence to ask her to be his girlfriend?
“Turn here.” She pointed toward her street. “Our farm is down this road.”
“I know.”
She laughed and shook her head. “I’m sorry. I forgot you probably know your way around Lancaster County better than I do since you volunteer for the fire department.”
“It’s okay. I don’t mind the reminders.” He gave her a sideways glance. “Tell me more about your day.”
“Oh.” She looked surprised by the question. “I met a nice couple from New Jersey today. They came here for the week.”
She talked about some of her customers as they rode the rest of the way to her farm. When they reached the driveway, he guided the horse up to the porch, and disappointment crept in. The evening had gone by too quickly. He wasn’t ready to say good night and make the long journey home alone. He needed more time with her.
Kayla turned toward him and fingered her apron. “Danki for giving me a ride home.”
“Gern gschehne. Danki for allowing me to give you a ride home.”
She glanced toward the porch and then looked back at him. “Are you in a hurry to get back?”
“No.”
“Mei daed made root beer. Would you like to visit on the porch for a while?”
“I’d love to.” Relief overtook his disappointment.
“Great. I’ll get the root beer.” She climbed out of the buggy and rushed up the porch steps to the house.
He tied his horse to the fence lining the driveway and then made his way to the glider on the back porch. He was gently pushing it back and forth when she reappeared with two bottles of root beer and a lantern. He jumped up, took the lantern from her, and set it on the porch floor.
She handed him one of the cold bottles. “Would you like a snack too?”
“Oh, no.” He shook his head. “I don’t want you to go to any trouble.”
She lifted an eyebrow. “My parents own a restaurant. It’s no trouble.” She pointed toward the door. “Do you want some pretzels or chips?”
“No.” He made a sweeping gesture toward the glider. “I want you to sit and talk to me.”
She hesitated. “Really, it’s no trouble.”
“Please sit.”
“Okay.” She sank down onto the glider, and he sat down beside her. “What did you want to talk about?”
“Anything.” He took a long draw from the bottle, relishing the cool carbonation on his throat. “This root beer is fantastic.”
“Ya. Mei daed makes the best root beer. I told him he should sell it at the restaurant, but he insists he couldn’t keep it stocked. It’s a lot of work.” She took a drink. “Tell me about your freinden.”
“Mei freinden?” He rested the bottle on the arm of the glider. “Well, you’ve met Brody, Leon, and Noah. Noah and I have been freinden for years. He’s married and has a sohn.”
“Oh ya.” She angled her body toward him. “I met Elsie and Christian.” Her smile suddenly faded.
“Was iss letz?”
“I met them the day of the funeral.”
“It’s okay.” He gave her a gentle smile. “I’m glad you got to meet them.”
“I’ve met Savilla, Allen, and Rudy too.”
“That’s gut.” He took another drink. “What about you? Who are your freinden?”
Kayla fingered the condensation on her bottle. “I have a few freinden from my youth group. But Eva is my best freind. She’s like the schweschder I never had.”
He took another gulp of root beer as his thoughts moved to Abram. He longed to ask her about him, but he didn’t know how to bring up the subject.
“Do you have a girlfriend?” She kept her eyes trained on her bottle as she asked the question.
He swallowed a laugh. “Do you think I’d be here if I did?”
She bit her lower lip as she shrugged, her eyes still focused on the bottle. “No, I don’t think so.”
“I don’t have a girlfriend.” At least not yet. “And do you have a boyfriend?”
“Not anymore.” She shook her head. “My ex-boyfriend broke up with me shortly after Simeon died.”
“I’m sorry. That had to be difficult.” He gripped the root beer bottle waiting for her to share more.
“It was.” She gazed out toward the new barn as she spoke. “His name is Abram Blank. We met through our youth group. We dated for about a year.”
He sat up straight, surprised by that news.
Her shoulders hunched. “We’d been having issues before he broke it off.” She ran her fingers over the bottle. “When we first started dating, he was attentive, and things seemed great. I did my best to be a gut gi
rlfriend. In fact, I grew apart from some of mei freinden because I always made sure I had time to spend with him. But then I found myself waiting for him to visit me and he wouldn’t show up. When I asked why, he’d tell me he was with his freinden. I never came first in his life. I tried to explain how I felt, but he never made an effort to change. I was frustrated, and I was planning to confront him, but then Simeon died and my world fell apart. My family and I were all so distraught. I was having a difficult time dealing with everything. He wound up breaking up with me. He said he wasn’t ready for a serious relationship.”
“It sounds like Abram had a lot of growing up to do if he couldn’t put you first in his life. I’m sorry he did that to you.”
“Danki.” She finally met his gaze and then took a draw from her bottle. “What about you? Have you dated much?”
“No.” Jamie set the bottle on the arm again. “I dated a little bit when I was a teenager, but it wasn’t anything serious. I’m not gut at relationships.”
“That’s not true. I think you’re gut at relationships.”
“Would you like to have a relationship with me?” His shoulders and back tensed as he awaited her response.
“Ya. I’d like that very much.”
“Gut.” Relief flooded him, loosening his tense muscles. “Do you have church tomorrow?”
She shook her head. “It’s an off Sunday for my church district.”
“Would you like to come to church with me?”
“Ya, that would be fun.”
Jamie smiled. “I’ll look forward to it.”
“I will too.”
Kayla was almost certain she was dreaming. She and Jamie sat on the porch for nearly an hour talking as if they were old friends, and to her surprise, he’d asked if she would like to be more than friends. This was too good to be true! Surely she would wake up from the dream soon and realize it wasn’t real.
When her family arrived home, she and Jamie greeted them and then continued to talk on the porch alone. Soon it was dark, and Kayla began to worry about his trip home.
“As much as I want to talk all night, I want you to be safe.” She pointed toward the dark sky. “You should probably head home.”
“Ya.” He gave her a reluctant smile. “Do you think your daed is still awake?”
“He should be.” Ripples of excitement ran through her veins. Was he going to ask her father’s permission to date her? “Walk inside with me, and we can check.”
He carried his empty bottle and the lantern toward the door. He balanced them in one hand and held the door open for her.
“Danki,” she said as she entered. In the kitchen they found her parents sitting at the table with Eva.
“It was nice see you all.” He held up his hand. “Gut nacht.”
“Are you heading home?” Mamm asked.
“Ya. It’s getting dark.” Jamie turned toward Dat. “I was wondering if I could speak with you, Willie.”
“Ya, of course.”
“Could you walk outside with me?”
“Sure.” Dat stood and came to his side.
Jamie touched Kayla’s arm. “Gut nacht. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Be safe going home.” Kayla gripped the back of one of the kitchen chairs as Jamie and Dat went outside.
“Is everything all right?” Mamm asked after the men were gone.
“Ya.” Kayla couldn’t stop her grin. “He asked me if I wanted to date him. I think he’s asking Dat’s permission.”
Eva squealed as she jumped up and hugged Kayla. “That’s fantastic! I knew it was coming.”
“I’m so froh for you,” Mamm said.
“Danki. I’m just so naerfich.” Kayla shook her head.
“Why?” Eva asked.
“Everything went wrong with Abram.” Kayla wrapped her arms around her waist as apprehension and happiness warred inside of her. “I don’t want to make those same mistakes.”
Mamm stood and rubbed Kayla’s arm. “Jamie is a different man. Abram wasn’t ready for a true relationship. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
Kayla nodded, but she didn’t entirely agree with her mother.
“Just take it slow,” Eva said. “Get to know Jamie and take your time.”
“Exactly,” Mamm agreed.
The back door clicked shut, and Dat entered the kitchen as the clip-clop of a horse echoed from the driveway.
Kayla bit her lower lip as she waited for her father to speak.
“Jamie asked if he can date you.” He smiled at her, and her chest constricted.
“What did you say?” Kayla’s voice sounded tiny, as if she were a little girl.
“I said it’s fine with me as long as it’s fine with you. Was that the answer you’d hoped for?”
“Ya. Danki.” Kayla blew out a relieved breath as Mamm and Eva smiled.
Dat touched her arm. “He also said you agreed to go to church with him tomorrow, and I’m certainly okay with that too. Well, I’m going to bed. Get some sleep. It’s late.” He turned to Mamm. “Are you ready too?”
“Ya.” Mamm turned to Kayla and Eva. “Gut nacht.”
“Gut nacht.” Kayla and Eva responded in unison.
“Everything will be fine,” Eva told Kayla after her parents left. “Jamie is a great guy, and he really likes you. I have a gut feeling.”
“Danki. Gut nacht.” Kayla hugged Eva. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
As Kayla climbed the stairs to her room, she imagined what it would be like to be Jamie’s girlfriend. She just hoped this relationship would go better than the one with Abram.
TWENTY-ONE
“Stop fidgeting. You look Schee.”
Kayla pivoted from the kitchen window toward her mother as she fingered the blue skirt of her best dress. It was too early for Jamie to pick her up for church, but she was having a hard time settling down. “Danki.” If only she felt as confident as her mother’s smile.
“Why are you so naerfich? You looked like you had a wunderbaar time with Jamie last night.”
“I’m going to see his freinden at church. I’ve only met them briefly once. What if they don’t like me?”
Mamm chuckled. “Of course they’ll like you.” She pointed to Kayla’s uneaten plate of eggs, toast, and bacon. “You should eat.”
“I can’t.” Kayla placed her hands on her abdomen. “My stomach is in knots.”
“Don’t be gegisch. You don’t want your stomach to growl during service. If it does, then his freinden won’t like you.” Mamm grinned.
“That’s not funny.” Kayla sat down at the table, and after a quick prayer, grabbed a piece of toast and bit into it. It tasted like sand.
“Gude mariye,” Eva sang as stepped into the kitchen with Junior on her hip.
“Gude mariye.” Mamm held out her hands, and the baby squealed as she took him in her arms.
“Gude mariye.” Kayla echoed before taking another bite. If she finished the toast, maybe she wouldn’t run the risk of her growling stomach scaring away Jamie’s friends.
Eva sat down across from Kayla, bowed her head in prayer, and began to scoop up eggs. “Oh, Kayla. You look so schee.”
“Danki.” Kayla hoped Jamie would agree and then dismissed the thought. Vanity was a sin.
“Are you excited to go to church with Jamie and his family?” Eva asked.
“She’s afraid his freinden won’t like her even though they’ve already met her.” Mamm slipped Junior into his baby seat attached to the high chair. He clapped his hands when he saw the food on the table.
Eva raised an eyebrow. “You can’t be serious.”
“She’s serious.” Mamm sat and fed him baby food from the jar that Eva had brought to the table.
“Mamm, I can speak for myself.” Kayla picked up a second piece of toast. “But you’re right. I am worried about his freinden.”
Eva leveled her gaze on Kayla. “Jamie really likes you, and that means his freinden will too. You have nothing to worry about.”
“Exactly,” Mamm added as gave Junior another spoonful of food.
Kayla finished the toast and then hurried off to brush her teeth. When she stepped back into the kitchen, the clip-clop of a horse sounded from outside, and she tried to ignore the wild thumping of her heart. “I think he’s here. I’ll see you later.”
“Have fun.” Eva waved.
“Bye,” Mamm called.
Kayla hurried down the back porch steps to where Jamie stood by his buggy. He looked handsome dressed in his Sunday suit with his black trousers, crisp white shirt, and black vest. “Gude mariye.”
“Gude mariye.” He opened the passenger side door. “You look schee.”
“Danki.” She climbed into the buggy, smoothed her hands over her dress, and then touched her abdomen. Hopefully the toast would hold her until lunch. Her stomach was still a ball of nervous knots.
Jamie slipped into the driver’s side and took the reins. “It’s a gorgeous day. It’s hard to believe next week will be July.”
“Ya.” Kayla gazed out at the beautiful cerulean sky as he guided the horse to the road. “The summer is going by too quickly. Where is church this morning?”
“It’s at the Beilers’ farm. Not far from mei haus.” He gripped the reins tighter as he kept his eyes on the road.
Kayla could feel the anxiety vibrating off him. What was wrong? What a silly question. He and his family were grieving, and this would be their first Sunday service without their mother. Of course he was a ball of nerves. She had to remember to be patient and offer him the same grace she needed after she’d lost Simeon. She prayed his family would feel God’s love and comfort today.
They rode in silence for a few minutes.
When he halted the horse at a red light, Jamie suddenly looked at her, his expression somber. “I spoke to your daed before I left your haus last night.”
“I know.” She held her breath. Was he going to officially ask her to be his girlfriend?
“I asked him if I could date you. So now I need to ask you. Would you consider being my girlfriend—officially?”